Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder
by Adidasgrl328
Summary: Darkness is all she's ever seen, every moment of her life. In college, Bella finds her shining light in Edward. Can such a beautiful soul be as beautiful in appearance? Remember, Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder. AH Lemons ExB
1. Familiar

**"_Let your mind start a journey thru a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let you soul take you where you long to be...Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you'll live as you've never lived before." --Erich Fromm_**

_Let the journey begin... (opening music starts playing like in a movie and you begin to wonder what the hell the song is and where the hell it's coming from)_

**BELLA'S POV**

I settled back into the couch in my familiar apartment, listening to the classical stylings of Debussy. It was soothing, something I didn't feel often in my life time. The warm sun was streaming through my windows and brushing over my skin. It felt lovely. I slid off my sunglasses and looked up toward the ceiling that I couldn't see, my head falling back onto the soft back of the sofa. The warmth was amazing on my skin.

I listened closely to Debussy's _Claire de Lune_ because all else was quiet besides my breathing, my heartbeat, and the hum of the refrigerator in my small kitchen. Peaceful. How often was I given this pleasure?

Blackness was all I saw and it was my constant friend. Some friend it was, but it never left me nonetheless. It was familiar. And my apartment. It was familiar too. Everything in it had its place and all of it was to be exactly as it is now, for I'd be distraught with the changes. How was I supposed to find something when I couldn't see it?

I heard heavy foot steps coming down the hall and smiled, sliding my sunglasses back into place when I heard the high heels' _clicks_ accompanying his steps. My apartment door opened and the knob hit the wall thanks to Emmett's excessive exuberance, causing me to cringe. "Can we try not to dent my wall?" I asked my brother, as I did nearly everyday, not turning away from the ceiling to face him. His heavy foot steps approached me and the couch moved just an inch when Emmett plopped down beside me. We'd have to fix that.

"Sorry, little sis. Just in a good mood." I heard movement beside me and assumed he shrugged. Emmett was my big brother, only one year my senior, and knew very well I couldn't see his movements, but he did so anyway. Some days it made me feel like I was more normal, when he treated me like I could see him doing these simple things, while other days, it made me wish I could see what it looked like. Today it made me feel normal.

"Any particular reason for it?" I asked. His breathing was normal, but to me, it was loud with how near he was. Rosalie's heels clicked on my wooden floors as she neared the both of us. She took Emmett's lap, by the sounds of it, and settled quickly. Emmett's breathing had picked up just a smidge.

"Rosie and I had a good morning," he replied and I could hear the grin in his voice, causing me to laugh. I knew he had his eyebrows raised too, because that was what Emmett did when he was like this. I also knew he was looking at Rosalie as his arms snaked around her waist. Rosalie laughed, probably because Emmett looked ridiculous. I'd give anything to see Emmett look ridiculous just once.

"So I see," I replied, though I really couldn't. I meant that I heard it all, but Emmett and Rosalie understood what I meant. Rosalie had been a big part of mine and Emmett's life since Emmett was in Forks Junior High.

Rosalie had moved to Forks her eighth grade year and she and Emmett immediately started dating. She and I quickly became close and it was nice to have a friend who I wasn't related to by blood. Sometimes I knew she looked at me as someone who needed her help on occasion and not just any old girlfriend, but she never once looked at me with pity, for which I would always be grateful.

Pity. That was the last thing I wanted. From anybody.

I shook my head at the two of them when Rosalie giggled. "Emmett, quit molesting your girlfriend on my couch."

"Sorry, Bells," he sang, laughing. I just leaned my head back again and looked up at the ceiling that I still couldn't see, listening to their breathing and heartbeats, matching mine yet just a bit faster.

"Rose, did you close my door?" I asked suddenly as I heard the sounds out in the hallway far louder than they'd been earlier. Much louder now that I was also paying attention.

I heard her feet hit the ground and her heels click away from me as she apologized. "Sorry, I forgot. Just lost my mind for a second there."

I smiled at her. "Don't worry about it. I would have closed it myself, though. You didn't need to get up." I looked toward where I heard her movements, keeping my face in the direction of her footsteps as she returned to Emmett's lap.

Emmett used to think it was funny, my seeing without seeing. The way I'd look in the direction, matching my eyes perfectly to the exact object that was making the sound, the one I was in search of, but not being able to actually _see _what it was. My hearing was that incredible, my sight that nonexistent. The price of blindness.

I stood up and made sure I had my balance before I moved toward my bedroom, leaving Emmett and Rosalie on the couch as Emmett turned on the TV, replacing the remote where it belonged on the side table. _Good boy_, I thought, laughing to myself. There were times where his mind forgot to be sure he placed things in their proper places. Next thing he'd know, I'd be calling his cell phone asking where he moved the item to.

The sun was still peeking through my windows, brushing softly against my skin as I lay down on my soft bed over the covers, resting my head back gently on the pillow as I took my tape recorder from my bedside table, exactly where it belonged, and began playing back this morning's lessons.


	2. Colors, Music, Friends, and Falling

**BELLA'S POV**

I awoke the next morning as I always did with my alarm clock announcing to me that it was 7:30. I sighed, flipping my sheets off me and reaching out toward my nightstand. I was desperate to kill the dreaded sound. When my hand landed atop it, I turned it off and then reached beside it for my sunglasses. They weren't placed perfectly so my hand swatted at them, brushing them over the edge, and I listened as they slipped off the table and hit my wooden floors. Groaning, I extricated myself from my bed carefully and knelt on the floor, my hand reaching around for the glasses which Rose had deemed stylish yet practical for my needs.

My hands finally tapped against the frames before I grabbed them, made sure they were right side up, and put them in place on my face. I'd still need to shower and get dressed and whatnot, but it was much easier for me when I kept them with me wherever I was. Picking up the clothes which I had asked Rosalie to set out for me last night, a simple pair of jeans and a comfortable long sleeved t-shirt, I went into my bathroom and turned on the shower, pulling back quickly because I'd been hit unexpectedly with water too many times in this apartment.

I slid my glasses off again and placed them on the bathroom counter atop the clothing I placed there. I took my shower after stripping from my pajamas and placing them in the hamper in my bathroom. My clothes were nearing the top; I'd need to do the laundry soon. Actually, I would need to ask Rose to help me do my laundry again soon. I groaned, hating asking for help, but I knew I couldn't do it myself. How was I supposed to separate my clothing? I couldn't see the colors.

Colors. I stepped into the shower as I once again began my day thinking of the illusive idea. That was the problem, it was an idea. Something you could only understand by seeing. I couldn't reach out to something and tell its color by the way it felt. No. Colors were a dream to me. Something only I could imagine, but how was I supposed to imagine something that couldn't even be described to me? How would you describe the color red? It's the color that a fire engine is. Well, what is the color of a fire engine? I wouldn't know the answer.

Sure, one could say light was an enigma to the blind as well, but I could feel the heat coming from the lights no matter where I was, and even if I couldn't, I could hear the hum of the electricity running through them. It was what drove me crazy in school all through high school as the fluorescent lights hummed loudly nonstop.

Today was not going to be a good day, I could already feel it. The days where I started off with thoughts like these were the days I wished for my eyesight. And the days which I wished for something I couldn't have were the days I had the rug ripped out from under me. I allowed the warmth of the water that surrounded me to sooth my muscles and let my mind drift to better things, happier topics.

I could hear the faintest sound of piano music being played on a keyboard somewhere in the building. I wanted to hurry through my shower, suddenly, so I might have been able to listen more closely, the sound of the running water falling over my ears blocking the sound away. I'd heard this keyboard being played on countless mornings in the past month, but I'd never seen – or I should say met – the pianist. The music was beautiful, and I could only assume this person was a fairly experienced player.

I'd always admired music. It was truly the one thing I could enjoy without my sight. There was nothing to see. Simply listen, which was what I loved to do. I loved to cook, too, because of the wonderful smells, but I wasn't allowed to do that by myself, and I supposed I couldn't fault my family for that, because it was entirely dangerous when I couldn't truly see what I was doing. But music was always perfect for me.

I reminisced to my younger years when I was just becoming a teenager. I had truly fallen in love with music, and despite my inability to see the score itself, I was determined to learn to play the piano. Renee and Charlie bought me a keyboard and we put Braille stickers on the keys so I could tell which notes were which. They paid a teacher for lessons, but the teacher was entirely frustrated when she realized she'd have to dictate which notes I'd play and for how long I'd play them.

It went well, for the year, until she decided it was a waste of her time because I had to memorize it through a perfect dictation and I continually made mistakes that bothered her to no end. And while it was true that my playing wasn't at the level of most first year students, the progress I'd been able to make was incredible. Still, I'd given up when she did, and most days I regretted that.

There were a lot of things I'd worked hard to achieve through overcoming my disability. My favorite, I think, was learning to play baseball. Beep Baseball, to be exact. The best part was that it was something which Emmett was able to teach me. He would throw the ball underhand, and I would listen to the beeping and swing when it was close enough. It took a long time and a lot more work than I'd thought it would, but I was successful. Of course, it was after Rosalie provided some help. Basically, Emmett would pitch, Rose would stand behind me, and she'd help me swing through at the right time. That was how I learned exactly when to hit the ball at the right time. Now, I could probably play in one of the leagues if I wanted.

I stepped out of my shower carefully because I was soaking wet. I dried off as quickly as possible and put my sunglasses in place after dressing. I didn't do much else, because my appearance hardly mattered to me. Why would it? I couldn't even see myself.

Emmett would be arriving any minute to ask if I'd want him to walk me to my classes, and I'd quickly answer him saying no, because I enjoyed walking.

I knew my way so well that truthfully, I didn't even need my cane to get to my morning classes. But, there was always a chance something would change or I'd get pushed off my usual path and I'd need my cane if there was even one bump in the walkway that I didn't know was there.

I could hear Emmett's heavy footsteps as I moved into my kitchen and I smiled, knowing that it was exactly 8:03. He always got here at exactly 8:03, no matter what. My door opened and I was glad that for once the door knob didn't bang into the wall because every time it made me cringe, whether I was expecting it or not. I went to my cabinet and got out a bowl and my box of frosted flakes, pouring a bowlful before returning the box to its place. I took the milk from my refrigerator and placed my finger atop the flakes in the bowl to be sure I didn't over-pour my milk. I could have held my hand outside the bowl and felt the line, but the sense was just more immediate. Satisfied, I returned to the milk in the fridge, ignoring the sound of Emmett's breathing as he watched me move normally through my kitchen. We had a perfect routine down every day, and we rarely strayed. So, I still didn't understand why he continued to watch in awe as I functioned relatively normally.

I took a bite and tried to continue listening to the piano music over the ever annoying noise that was created by my chewing. I swallowed and sighed. "Emmett, can you please quit staring and ask me so that I can say no already?"

His laughter bounced off my walls and when he stopped he took a heavy breath. I long ago realized everything about Emmett was heavy. I heard him leaning against my wall, partially because it groaned quietly in protest to the weight, and knew he'd crossed his arms over his chest as he sighed overdramatically. "Fine, fine. Bella, would you like to walk with me to your classes?"

"Hmmm…Let me think about that," I replied, trying to humor him before I refused him. He chuckled as I placed a finger to my chin and turned my face slightly toward the ceiling with a slim smile on my face. "No," I answered shortly and took another spoonful of cereal into my mouth.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" he asked himself. The only time I ever said yes was when there was ice on the ground, but I of course only knew for sure if there was if Emmett or Rosalie told me. But they never lied to me in high school (the buildings were separate and I'd have to walk between them to get to different classes) just so they could be sure I was safe otherwise, which I did acknowledge and was the reason I never doubted them or gave them a hard time when I did allow them, because they were only looking out for me. I hated to admit it, but I was disabled, and I couldn't always be independent.

"Because that's always my answer." The piano stopped playing seconds after I spoke and I frowned. It was rather beautiful to hear. I could hear a number of sets of footsteps faintly moving about the building by now as well as morning radios and TVs. Showers were drowning out the more pleasant sounds, but mostly I just heard people rushing to get ready. I must have been so focused on the other sounds that I'd missed Emmett's steps as he walked toward me.

I jumped when I felt his hand ruffle my wet hair. "Love you, little sis."

"Love you too, you big oaf," I grumbled as I leaned toward his large body and he placed a kiss on the top of my head.

"See you tonight."

"Smell ya later," I called as his footsteps retreated.

"I'll be sure to go to the gym right before, just so you have something real strong to smell."

"If you could refrain, it would be greatly appreciated. If not, just—" my door closed "—shower." The last word was said mainly to myself as I knew he wouldn't be able to hear it like I would.

I quickly finished my breakfast, threw the bowl and spoon into the sink, and headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I left my hair down and shook it out to get rid of some of the moisture that felt cool against my skin, and left my apartment after placing my tape recorder, my cell phone, and my books into my bag and putting the bag on my back.

Cane in hand, I tapped it out in front of me as I walked the short distance to class. People were buzzing around me and I could feel their stares on me. I was used to it, because that was what people did, but it didn't stop the blush that heated my cheeks and the feeling never went away so that I didn't even notice. I could hear whispers and murmurs, and I just wanted to tell them that I'd been doing this for the past month, if they hadn't seen me often enough by now, then they were the outsider on this path.

Once I arrived at my classroom, I was grateful to be out of the autumn wind. It wasn't pleasant in the mornings when the sun hadn't been up long enough to provide any sort of warmth. I'd hugged my jacket around me tightly in one hand while I'd used my cane in the other. Now, I folded up my cane and went to my normal seat in the back row. I was fifteen minutes early, like always, because otherwise, finding a seat was incredibly…difficult without seeing if someone was sitting in it or not.

I took extra care walking up the steps to the back row and when I was sure I was there, I reached out to my usual seat and was thankful no one was sitting there. Perfect. I took my seat and leaned back in the seat listening to the few students in the room who'd arrived early as well. I sat forward again to place my cane in my bag and pull out my recorder before returning to my relaxed position. My chair creaked when I moved and I frowned. Someone hurt my seat since I last sat in it.

I heard footsteps coming toward me and the familiar click of stiletto heels against the wooden floor. If the steps weren't so quick and the sound weren't quite as faint, I would have thought it was Rose. But this girl obviously had shorter legs, because her steps were smaller and faster, and she must have been smaller, because her steps were lighter which meant she couldn't have weighed as much. I assumed it was her voice I heard as she spoke, and because there was no one speaking to her nor were there any other sets of steps, she must have been on her cell phone.

Her voice was lovely, a high soprano that would be greatly appreciated in the theater. I smiled in her direction, though I don't know why, but quickly looked away and folded my hands in my lap. I heard her cell phone flip shut and smiled as my assumption was right. They usually were, but not always. You can't be right every time.

She squeezed past me and took the seat beside me gracefully, at least it seemed that way by the sound of it. I could smell the faintest lingerings of a perfume. It must have been expensive, because it wasn't overwhelming but it was still existent, as only a costly perfume could be. "Hi, I'm Alice," she said.

I smiled in the direction of her voice and held out a hand in front of me which she took. "Hi, I'm Bella."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I was just about to get up at the end of the lecture, opting out of using the cane – I knew my way around, been walking the same course for nearly two months – when I heard Alice call out my name. "Bella, hold up."

She'd transferred into my class, apparently, but was easily ahead because she'd been in a more advanced level class previously that she just couldn't handle with her other class loads. I stopped and waited for her, surprised when she linked her arm through mine and started pulling me. I wondered if she knew that at the moment she was leading me. Obviously, she didn't when she walked me into the person in front of me.

"Oh, sorry, didn't mean to push you into him."

"It's alright," I replied.

"I like your sunglasses," she complimented.

I smiled at her. "Thanks, my brother's girlfriend got them for me."

"They're _Guess_, you know, but I've never seen the lenses so…black."

I nodded. "She'd had them made especially for me."

"Why did you wear them the entire class, though? It wasn't exactly…sunny in the classroom." I laughed and shrugged in response. We had the next class together too, so I didn't pay close attention to where we were walking. "So, just your style, then?" I nodded. It was my style, but not the way she was thinking of it. It was my style because I wanted to cover up my vacant eyes.

"I've always done it."

"It's such a simplistic fashion statement. I like it!"

I laughed. "Only you would think of it as that, Alice."

I could tell she was smiling and nodding her head. Her hair made a distinctive sound when it hit the top of her jacket in back. Obviously, her hair was rather short. "Oh, Bella, I can tell we are going to be such great friends."

I frowned at that sudden realization she'd had, but quickly covered it up with a fake smile. "Of course we will be, Alice," I replied, choosing to leave out _until you find out about my disability… then I'll simply be a charity case._

"So, tell me about this professor…"

And I began to rant about the professor's boring, monotone voice that I hated listening to at night when I had to memorize his lectures and presentations. Of course, she'd seen the tape recorder, but she probably thought nothing of it when she saw I wasn't taking notes. The only difference was that she thought I wrote out my notes at night.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I'd made it two weeks thus far without Alice knowing. She insisted we go shopping, and every time I made a terrible excuse for why I couldn't. Honestly, I couldn't even match my clothing further than just jeans and a t-shirt. Why would I want to go shopping with someone who didn't know I was blind?

I was leaving my building, walking without my cane today because the sidewalk didn't sound as crowded. It was cooling quickly and more people were taking cars around campus and the city. Sure they were crowded, but not very. Of course, the cars on the street were louder and faster than they normally were. There must have been an accident nearby, because traffic was terrible and horns were honking left and right. I adjusted my glasses and began walking carefully forward on the short trek to school. I thought nothing of the speedier steps as they came toward me, darting side to side, until the quick moving person bumped into me and brought both of us to the ground. That was probably the first time I'd ever been bumped into when my hearing made me fully aware there was someone near, even without my cane as a warning for them to stay a bit back.

**EDWARD'S POV**

_Shit. _I'd fallen asleep at Alice's apartment and now I was late. Dammit. Why didn't she wake me up? I needed to get to class on time because I had an assignment due, and if I didn't hurry back to get my things, I'd be fucking late! I ran through the sidewalk, dodging people as I went, to get back to my apartment. Could people make this any more difficult?

Just as I thought I was home free, only fifteen feet away from my building door, I bumped into someone, and the both of us went falling to the ground. I looked at the girl who'd fallen below me, her deep brown eyes looking toward me in shock and anger. I couldn't blame her. I'd be angry if someone knocked me over too. But what struck me as odd was that she was looking at me, but she wasn't looking _at _me.

She was beautiful, however, with her pale skin and mahogany hair. "I'm sorry," I apologized getting up and moving to help her up as well, but she quickly went to looking around for something, patting the ground with her hands. Strange. I quickly spotted a pair of sunglasses, however, lying just beside her, and picked them up, handing them to her. "Looking for these?"

"Yeah, thanks," she replied, closing her eyes immediately, hiding the beautiful brown pools from me, and sliding the way-too-dark lenses into place before nodding at me and moving on her way. I quickly shook my head and darted into my building, grabbing my paper off of my table and then grabbing my backpack before heading out of my apartment and back onto the streets. I unlocked my silver Volvo, which I hadn't taken with me when I went with Alice on one of her shopping excursions – much to my displeasure, might I add – and then drove off toward campus, even if it was such a short distance away. I wasn't taking any chances.


	3. I Can Only Imagine

_a/n: Alright. Now we're going here. I meant to post this Monday in celebration of my completion of freshmen year, then Tuesday in celebration of the end of the school year, then Wednesday for the first day of summer...and, well, I just didn't get around to editing it until yesterday night. I figured I'd wait until today to post since it was too late to be worth updating. Enjoy :)_

**BELLA'S POV**

The remnants of his scent lingered in my nose, the memory of his voice still ringing in my ears. He'd said all of five words, and yet the velvet still ran across the shells of my ears like nothing else I'd ever heard. I certainly wouldn't mind listening to him all day. His scent was extraordinary, one that was too unique to have been cologne. Surely I would have recognized it. I could feel a smile growing on my face as I reached the building, knowing by the number of steps I'd taken, and held my hand in front of me as I moved toward the door. Counting my steps wasn't always an exact science.

I heard Alice's light steps approaching me from behind, just as I opened the door. She wasn't wearing high heels today, which was odd, but I passed it off because, well, you couldn't wear heels everyday. Of course, she automatically went into an explanation that she had just bought a new pair of black flats yesterday – still disappointed that I didn't join her – and _had _to take them for a test drive.

I nodded and oohed and awed in all the proper places as I followed her to the seats we'd officially claimed as ours.

"I'm going to kidnap you soon and take you to the mall with me if you don't just give in to my persuasive arguments soon," she pointed out after she finished talking about her new shoes.

I laughed, just barely refraining from telling her she didn't need a blindfold and that sneaking up on me was easier than she'd think. "Keep trying, Alice," I replied.

"Bella, could I see your sunglasses for a second? You've got something on them." Alice reached out for my glasses and removed them from my face before I could even answer. My eyes shut automatically in response so she couldn't see them. That man earlier had already caught a glimpse of my eyes, the only part of me that I was sure I hated.

Most women hated their bodies in some way, shape, or form. They were all vain and cared too much about their appearances. I didn't necessarily care about mine. Why would I? Sure, Rosalie would drag me to the gym or something once a week to do some yoga, but it was more for the sake of relaxation and girl time than for keeping any sort of figure, at least for me.

"There," Alice replied. "All better." I was pretty sure she was holding out my glasses in front of me and I cursed myself for not being able to see where she held them. I started to reach out for them and missed them completely, causing Alice to giggle. "Open your eyes, silly."

My excuse? "Alice, I've got a really bad migraine this morning because my head smacked the concrete earlier. Some idiot ran me over. The light's bothering the hell out of me. Opening my eyes is not an option." It wasn't really hurting and my head hadn't really made any contact with the concrete, but it made perfect sense to me.

The next thing I knew, my glasses had been slipped onto my face and I allowed my eyes to open, meeting the still air behind my black shades.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Evenin' Bells!" my brother's booming voice called from the door way. I waved to him and I could hear his clothes rustling, signifying that he was returning my gesture.

"Come on in, Em." I hit the pause button on the recording from one of my classes today. "What's up?"

"Not much. Rose is out with her cousin…again," he grumbled, falling into my plush couch and sighing.

Rose's cousin was a freshman at the University of Washington, just like I was. Of course, he got here with his girlfriend two days before the semester started. Apparently, the school was doing a crappy job with their class schedules and what not. Just a few weeks ago, Rose spent three days with her cousin's girl over one of her class fiascoes. They'd officially gotten everything straightened out, but now Rose was just trying to spend a good amount of time with the cousin she loved so much but had hardly gotten to see growing up.

"Oh."

Emmett had been joining the three of them a lot, sometimes the girlfriend's brother would join them as well, but Em never wanted to miss an evening with me. Like I said, we had a routine and we stuck to it.

"Yeah, it sucks."

"I can only imagine, Emmett." I really could _only_ imagine. I never dated, so really, I could only guess as to what it was like to be without the person you loved unconditionally for nights and nights. It was really the only time they got to spend together, and while they often spent it over here with me, I was usually in my bedroom and they got free reign of the rest of the apartment before they went back to their place and did…what they do.

No one wanted to date the blind girl anyway.

**ALICE'S POV**

I smiled at Jasper as we ate a lovely dinner with his cousin Rosalie. She was so kind and really patient with us. I knew we were getting on her nerves and keeping her from her boyfriend a lot since the year started, and I didn't know how to make it up to her.

"I really can't thank you enough for all you've done, Rose," I told her.

She shook her head. "It's really no trouble at all. I watch out for those who matter to me."

"So I've heard," I responded with a laugh.

Emmett, Rosalie's long time boyfriend, had a younger sister who'd been blind all her life. Out here, Rose tried to act as a surrogate mother to the girl and truly seemed to love it. She was trying her best to look out for her, but I knew that she was having trouble deciding whether to spend more time with her family or her 'family'. She seemed to be really antsy when she stayed away from her boyfriend and the sister.

"Speaking of which, I need to be going. Emmett isn't exactly…the best…at setting her clothes out. She doesn't let me dress her in style, but Emmett and his sister's underwear just_ don't _mix."

Jasper cringed beside me, as if it were his own sister, Victoria. I kissed his arm and smiled at Rose. "You go on ahead, I'll clean up."

"Thanks. So I won't see you tomorrow because Emmett and I are going out, but our other plans are all set?"

"Of course. See you then, Cuz," Jasper replied and hugged her when she stood and leaned down to him. They looked a lot more like brother and sister than cousins.

"Love you, Jazz."

"Love you too, Rose."

"See you, Alice."

**BELLA'S POV**

Rosalie was breathing heavily when she finally made an appearance in my apartment. "I'm here," she sang. Her steps had been so quick as she came up here. She'd obviously run from her BMW out in front of my building to get up here. The elevator was out of order so she had to come up the steps.

I giggled and stood from my seat. "Hey stranger. Long time, no see."

"Sorry Bells," she replied as I walked toward her before my feet hit something on my floor and I tumbled forward.

"Two fucking times in one day," I grumbled, somehow managing, once again, to make the acquaintance of the ground with hardly any pain. I reached for the item that caused me to trip and frowned. I heard the toilet flush and Emmett's footsteps as he returned from the bathroom.

"Bells, what—"

"Em, keep your damn shoes off my floor. They either stay on your feet or by the door," I scolded, then laughed as I realized what I'd said rhymed. I'd have to remember that next time Emmett forgot to put his shoes in their place. I felt Rosalie's delicate hands on my shoulders as she helped me up. "Thanks Rose."

I could hear the smile in her voice as she replied, "It's what I do."

I nodded and hugged her quickly before returning to my recording, listening as Rosalie's heels clicked toward my bedroom and disappeared into the room when she closed the door. I could hear her rummaging and grumbling to herself about how I refused to allow her to dress me in some of the _Guess_ clothing she'd gotten me. I chuckled to myself and continued memorizing the lecture.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Emmett, can you please quit staring and ask so I can say no already?" I whined.

He chuckled. "Let's just skip this, alright?"

"Finally," I muttered, taking another spoonful of cereal into my mouth.

"I can't make it to our usual dinner this Thursday, Bells," Emmett said softly from the corner, but I easily heard.

"Okay," I replied. He was allowed to have a life. We had a routine. It didn't mean we always had to stick to it.

"It's not that I don't want to, but Rose and I are going to a club with her cousin and his girlfriend and they could only make it on Thursday."

I smiled. I hadn't gone anywhere in this city that was even remotely interesting. Clubs were loud and there were tons of people and I had only been to one, but I really wanted to go to one again. "Would you mind if I came?" I asked. It's not like they hadn't told Rose's cousin about my disability. He'd known since we were all kids. I'd never met him before, but Rose used to talk to him all of the time.

I knew Emmett was surprised. I usually turned down his invites to go out, but I was getting a little restless, needing to be out and about on occasion. It was the same way in Forks. It was why I was so desperate to get to a big city. The small town was great for me because it was easy for a blind person to maneuver, but it got old. Fast. I needed some place that was constantly changing. Sure, that was beyond dangerous for me, but that would mean I was letting my disability control my life, and I wasn't willing to do that.

"I…Uh…Of course, I don't mind, Bella. Are you sure you want to, though? A lot of noise and people."

I nodded. "I'm getting a little bored of hanging out here every night."

Emmett chuckled. "Damn, and here I thought you were actually enjoying your time with me."

I smirked at him. "So, Thursday night at what time?" I asked.

"I don't know, I guess I'll pick you up at 7?"

I nodded. "Make sure Rose gets here at about five thirty, then."

"You mean…" I nodded. "You don't know how happy you'll make her, Bella."

I laughed. "I think I have an idea."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Really Bella?!" Rosalie squealed in delight. I nodded and placed my hand in front of me, reaching toward her face. Rosalie instantly leaned forward so I could place my hand on her cheek and then I moved it across to the other, feeling her large smile, the one that I put there. To so many people, this was probably one of the weirdest things to see, but I couldn't see how happy I made her. I had to feel it. And Rosalie understood that. It even made her happier that I wanted to know so much if she was truly smiling.

"Just don't go…too overboard."

I didn't care about my appearance, like I'd mentioned before, but for special occasions, I had always let Rosalie play a little 'Bella Barbie'. It made her happy, and it made me feel better for all the things she already did for me. When she'd dress me up in the clothing of her choice, I'd always ask her to explain it to me, including colors, despite the fact that they were meaningless to me. And she always explained them in perfect detail. When she did my hair and makeup, she told me the way she styled it or the colors she used. It made me feel…normal…if only for a moment.

When it came to doing my eyes, Rose was allowed to do them too, but she always asked me to remove my glasses and my eyes would be shut before I took them off. She knew I was uncomfortable without them when anyone was around me. She said my eyes never bothered her, but she never forced me to leave them off. She hated when I was uncomfortable and did everything within her power to make sure I was. Of course, when we played Bella Barbie, the clothes she put me in didn't cover nearly as much as I was comfortable in, but I didn't mind because, again, it made her happy.

As she explained, I listened carefully. It was a ¾ sleeve Naomi dress in different shades of blue. Seductive, striped mini dress, is how she first described it. Double scoop neckline and back, which also tied for more support. I could feel the knot at the back of my neck and the material going down my back where it was exposed. The bust was gathered with a ribbed waist design. The dress felt nice and soft against my skin. The only thing that worried me was that it went to about my mid-thigh.

She said she put purple eyeliner and pink eyeshadow on me. Simple glittering lip gloss was painted onto my lips. She straightened my hair before adding a little bit of volume. I ran my fingers along it and smiled at the smoothness of it. That was what mattered to me right now, the texture. Rose told me it was shiny too, which made me laugh because I thought when hair was shiny it meant it was oily.

Then Rose freaked me out.

"I can't wear wedges, I'm blind!"

Rosalie laughed. "You'll be fine. Once we get to the club, we're sitting down and enjoying an evening. No big."

"And before we get to the club?" I demanded.

"You can grip onto Emmett for dear life and I'll be on your other side. Bella, you know I wouldn't do anything to put you in danger."

I sighed. She had me there. "I know Rose, but heels are like a death trap."

"They're wedges, and they're _Guess_, and they match your dress perfectly. Come on, let the guys know that you're sexy and you're not afraid to show it. Just because you can't see that doesn't mean they can't."

I laughed. "Rosalie, you're ridiculous, you know that?"

"Yup, but that's what I get for being in love with your brother for all these years." Her words made me smile.

"What will Emmett think of this?" I wondered as she slipped on the silver/grey shoes that are tennis shoes turned peep-toe wedges.

"If the boy knows what's good for him, he'll let us enjoy this," she mumbled to herself. I laughed again as she helped me up and I adjusted my sunglasses.

"Am I ready?" I asked.

"You're ready, and damn, you're smokin'." I giggled at her comment. Yeah right. The blind girl was _smokin'_.

Timed perfectly, Emmett showed up thirty seconds later. I could feel it in the air that he was dying to comment on how I looked, but thank goodness for his sanity that he didn't. We all knew how Rose could be.

I gripped onto Emmett as I tapped my cane in front of myself. He led me toward the club and I could hear the music blasting in my highly sensitive ears long before Emmett could. I knew it would be loud and I was actually really excited, but a little nervous because my hearing wouldn't be as helpful inside. I'd have to really rely on Rose and Emmett tonight. They were my eyes this evening, and I was pretty sure they were going to enjoy it because they knew I wouldn't protest to their help.

When we got there, they left me momentarily in search of their friends, saying they'd be back as quickly as possible and to call if something was wrong. I nodded as Rosalie stored my cane in her large _Guess_ purse. I could sit on my own for a few minutes. Of course, I felt so alone and helpless the second they were gone. It was like being a little girl at an amusement park or something with your dad when he asks you to wait outside the men's room while he goes to the bathroom. You don't know what to do or think and you just feel a little weird standing there.

"Bella!" I heard my name called, but wasn't sure by who. It was hard to recognize voices over the music, and to hear where they were coming from was nearly impossible. I heard it called again and this time it was closer. It was familiar. The third time I knew who it was.

"Alice?" She was close, but I couldn't tell in which direction.

"I didn't know you'd be here tonight," she said and I realized she was across the table from me. I smiled in her direction.

"Yeah. I didn't know you'd be here either."

She laughed and slid into the seat next to me. "We came to meet with some friends. You look fantastic, but what's with the glasses? I mean, in class it's a fashion statement. _That_ I get. But in here? It's already so dark, you've got to be fucking _blind_!"

I frowned at her comment and was about to say how inconsiderate that was when I heard Emmett's booming voice over the music. "There you guys are!" His heavy arm draped across my shoulders. "I see you've made the acquaintance of my little sister, Bella."

I heard three gasps and sunk into my chair, crossing my arms over my chest, groaning.

So now Alice knew. Goodbye wonderful friendship.

_a/n#2: if the things in this chapter are still online, they will be on my website. if not, well then, sorry. www(dot)freewebs(dot)com/myfanfictionpics_


	4. A New Way To Think Of It

_a/n: so, I apologize for the very late update. I was out of town, and then I just didn't have the energy to update, and now I'm just barely getting this up before I go up to bed and pass out before enduring another day of brutal tennis camp. My next update will go up either Friday or Saturday, but most likely Friday. I've edited this story, now, up to chapter nine, and, I believe, I'm working on writing chapter 21 right now. Maybe it's 22. My brain has gone to the crapper and has informed me it will not be returning until I'm capable of feeling my legs again and my ass no longer hurts. I admitted that its request was quite fair and allowed it the well deserved vacation. It asked me to tell you guys to review because when it get back, it expects some good feedback. What else shall I say?? Hmmm, hope you all are enjoying your summer, this story, and my total lack-of-brain function. Oh, and one last thing. My little sister is gone for the next three weeks at camp. Can I get a boo-yah??!!_

_xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_

_P. S. REVIEW!!!!!!!_

_Chapter 4 of BEB: A New Way To Think Of It_

**EDWARD'S POV**

I decided to go with Alice and Jasper to the club, _Darkness_, tonight, because I really had nothing better to do. Alice was thrilled with this and made me wear a dark blue button down with one pair of the designer jeans she got me for our first year at college. We were twins and she decided that she was the one of us two who got the gene that dictated fashion sense. I just let her think that, because I already knew enough to be considered gay.

Once there, Alice started tugging on Jasper and I excitedly, leading us in the direction of the tables. "You guys have to meet my friend Bella!" she exclaimed, moving toward a girl with brown hair and a beautiful, heart-shaped face. She looked familiar, and the sunglasses instantly reminded me why. She was the girl I'd literally run into earlier this week. What was with the shades?

Alice greeted her, and made some comment about wearing the glasses in the club was ridiculous because it must have made her instantly blind. I agreed. It was a bit above and beyond. Of course, the way Bella's expression changed to a frown showed she was obviously very offended. She looked like she was about to retort when Emmett's incredibly loud voice interrupted her. "There you guys are," he exclaimed. He draped his arm across Bella's shoulders and then said the thing a least expected him to say. "I see you've made the acquaintance of my little sister, Bella."

Jasper, Alice, and I all gasped. This was the blind sister. Well…fuck. _Way to go, Alice_. Suddenly, her little comment seemed entirely tactless. I watched as Alice's shocked expression changed to anger, and I was instantly curious as to what was going on just as Rosalie came over with a confused expression on her face.

"Bella, how could you have not told me about this? I can't believe you managed to keep this from me. And here I was thinking you and I were friends!" Alice exclaimed loudly over the music and stalked away. Bella, who had sunk into her chair and shrugged off Emmett's arm, only frowned further. She turned to Rosalie and said something and Rose instantly went after Alice. I just stood there next to Jasper and watched.

"Bella? What's going on?" Emmett asked.

She shook her head. "Alice and I have a few classes together. She and I sit next to each other and walk together. She's always taken to leading me to my classes without even realizing it and she didn't know about my disability. I didn't want her to, Em, and you know why. I just wanted to live it out for a little while before she found out," she huffed and lo– faced down toward her lap, letting her hair fall as a curtain to cover her face.

"I'm confused," Jasper muttered to me.

"Me too," I mumbled.

Emmett turned Bella's chair so that she was facing him and stood in front of her, talking only loud enough for her to hear. I didn't try to listen, because this was obviously a private moment among siblings, and instead thought back to when I'd bumped into her. It made sense now why she was patting around for her glasses instead of just seeing them, and why she'd not been looking _at _me.

**ROSALIE'S POV**

"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked, catching up with the small pixie.

"I can't believe Bella didn't tell me."

"You know Bella?" She nodded and told me that they were friends…or at least she thought they were. I sighed and grabbed onto her arm, dragging her back toward Bella.

"Alice, you can't take it personally. Bella has two friends. Me and her brother. That's it. Everyone looks at her like a blind girl, never like a _person_, so if you didn't already know it, she wasn't going to tell you and would just live out a normal friendship until you did find out. She tries to pretend she's normal when she's given the chance, and whether you know it or not, you've actually been making her smile a little more lately. She talks about you a lot, you know. She's never used your name, because she knows Emmett and I usually try to talk to anyone she starts to get close to you, but she talks about you whenever she gets the chance."

"Rosalie, let go of me," she demanded, but didn't really put up a fight and her request was half assed. "If she wants to talk to me she can come find me."

I laughed and we were standing right beside Jasper and Edward who were watching helplessly as Emmett tried to talk to Bella. "Alice, honey, you can't ask that of a blind person, especially in a club when she can't rely on her other senses to find you."

All eyes shot toward me, including Bella's. I smiled. "Bella, you and Alice work this out. Now."

I pushed Alice toward Bella and they instantly started talking. I shook my head and looked to Jasper and Edward. "What a way to start out a night," I muttered and the two actually laughed and took their seats at the small table. I hopped into Emmett's lap and smiled up at him.

"What's up good lookin'?"

I laughed and kissed his lips quickly. "Nothing much. Just doing my job."

His arms circled around my waist as his goofy smile grew on his face. "I love you. I don't think any of us say this enough, but the things you do for Bella are just too much some days. Thank you."

I shrugged. "It's what I do."

**BELLA'S POV**

"I'm sorry." They were the first words that came out of my mouth the second I knew she was near enough. I could barely hear any of her movements. It was killing me. I didn't know how far she was from me, I couldn't hear if she was breathing heavily with anger, and I didn't have any idea as to what her expression was.

"You kept something _huge _from me."

"Alice, what do you hate most about yourself?" I asked.

She didn't even hesitate as she answered sincerely, "I don't hate anything about myself."

"But if you did hate something about yourself that was clear to everyone else, but you were maybe able to hide it, would you go telling them anyway?"

"No, but Bella, this is—"

"Different? To you, maybe. But to me it's exactly that. Something about myself that some days is just a disability, while others it's the worst part of my life."

"Bella…"

"I just…don't ever want pity, and even my parents can rarely look at me in any other way. Emmett and Rosalie can, but everyone else can't see past the blindness. Maybe to you it's the first thing you should know about someone, but to me, it's the last thing I want people to know."

I felt her small hand on my shoulder, startling me just for a second before I settled and placed one of my hands over hers. "I guess I can understand that. I'm sorry to freak out on you there. But you have to admit, it's the last thing you expect to hear from someone you've known for weeks. 'Oh, by the way, I can't see' you know?"

I laughed. "Yeah, well, I didn't exactly say that, or tell you at all. My idiot brother did that for me." I shot Emmett an evil expression. I could faintly hear his laugh and Rosalie's mixing with the music. I heard Alice's light giggle beside me.

"I'm still going to take you shopping," was all she said before dropping her hand from my shoulder and introducing herself into the conversation at the table.

I didn't realize there was anyone beside me until a familiar velvet voice filled my ears, its owner's unique scent overcoming me. "I wanted to apologize for knocking you over. I was in quite a rush after leaving Alice's apartment the other morning. I was running late for my music for class." I felt my heart sink in my chest, oddly enough, and frowned. Was this man Alice's boyfriend? I thought he had a southern accent. I remembered Rose saying that he hadn't moved to Chicago until he was fifteen.

"That's alright," I replied.

"I'm Edward Cullen," he introduced himself. _Hold on a second._ I was pretty sure Rose's cousin was Jasper Whitlock, and that my friend was Alice _Cullen_.

"You're Alice's brother?" I asked.

He chuckled in my ear. His face was far too near mine, his breath brushing over my skin. "Unfortunately," he joked.

I giggled. "I wouldn't consider it unfortunate. I don't know if I'd consider myself lucky, though, either."

He chuckled again and it was quite a glorious sound. If I could, I would record the sound and play it back on my CD player instead of the music I usually played through my apartment, but Edward would obviously find that weird.

"Hey Bells, what do you want to drink?" Emmett asked, yelling over the music even though I would have probably been able to hear him if he just spoke at his normal volume. He was never a quiet child.

I shrugged. "Cherry coke?"

"Eddie?"

"It's Edward," he growled in response, causing me to laugh. Note to self: do not call Edward, Eddie. "Could I just get a coke? It's not like there's much else for an eighteen year old at a club." He mumbled the last part in my ear. "So, what's your major?"

"English."

"Really? But isn't it—"

"Hard to read and write? I'm quite capable Edward." I spoke in a normally conversational tone. It wasn't as if I hadn't heard that before, even from my own brother. "I mostly just record everything and then I can use a computer that has Windows-Eyes, a special program that they have on one of the computers in the school library, with a Braille keyboard to type my papers into the computer."

"Really?" he asked, interested.

"Yeah. I'm not saying it's easy, but I can do it and it's what I love. What are you majoring in?"

"Music."

I smiled. "Wonderful choice. What instrument do you play?"

"Piano, though I miss having my own baby grand to use in my apartment."

"So you enjoy classical music?"

"Quite thoroughly. Do you?"

I nodded. "Music is a wonderful thing because you don't need to see it to appreciate it."

"I can easily understand that. In fact, I prefer to close my eyes when I listen. It blocks out one of the other main senses and just lets the music take control."

"That's a new way to think of it."

"Speaking of letting the music take control," Emmett interjected, setting my cherry coke down before me, the glass touching the back of my hand. "Rose and I are going to go dance. You'll be okay?" The cool temperature of the drink seeped through the glass, sweat gathering on the outside against my skin. I moved to lift the glass and brought it to my lips, the ice tapping against the glass and I could feel the _tinks_ that I would usually be able to hear should the music not have been drowning it out.

After taking a small sip of the refreshing soda, enjoying the flavor as it washed over my taste buds, I smiled at my brother. "I believe I'm capable of surviving here on my own. So long as I have my drink, I'm good."

"Good. Don't let some cute deaf guy take advantage of you while I'm gone," he replied, tapping my shoulder twice to signal his leave.

I laughed at his comment, but Edward didn't. I was sure he was beside me, the hairs on my neck sticking up and a strange electricity radiating off his skin. I could hear his breathing lightly beside my ear. "Was what he said not funny to you?" I asked curiously.

"It wasn't…very—"

"It's alright to joke about it, Edward. Besides, that's Emmett's thing. He's always there to keep the mood light. I certainly prefer joking about it than letting it get me down."

He sighed, his breath washing over my ear as it had earlier. "I suppose that's one way to look at it."

"And in what way, Edward, do you look at it?"

"I don't know. You have to admit that you've had years to look at it while I've had far less time."

"That's true, though I wouldn't say I really _look _at anything. So, your favorite composer?" I asked, changing the subject back to our original topic of discussion.

"Hmmm, I suppose I'd have to say Debussy."

I smiled widely. "He is quite the composer. I happen to love him as well."

"Do you really?"

"Really. _Claire De Lune_ is amazing."

"Then maybe I'll play for you sometime."

"That would be lovely, but you don't need to."

He chuckled. _What a beautiful sound… _"I want to, though, Bella. I don't play for many people these days. Mostly, I play on my keyboard in my apartment for myself."

"Well, then I would definitely like the chance to hear you play." It just then hit me that Alice's soprano voice couldn't be heard by me at all. "Okay, either Alice and Jasper are in a full out make out session, or they've left."

Edward chuckled again. "They've left, Bella."

"Good, because I'd hate to have Alice kissing her boyfriend just a few feet away from me."

"Believe me, I feel the same way. Fortunately for you, you wouldn't have to watch them doing so, and when it's your sister no less."

"Ewwww," I muttered. "It's the worst when I have to listen to Emmett and Rose. You'd think they were having sex by the sounds of it, though I've heard that too, so I know that's not what they're doing." A blush warmed my cheeks as I spoke.

"Ewwww," Edward mimicked. I giggled and he chuckled. He was fun to talk to. Then I realized that he'd probably come out to hang out with his friends or to meet some girl, not to talk to me. Stupid, blind, little ole me.

"Edward, you're welcome to go enjoy your evening. It isn't necessary for you to stay with me," I told him, but couldn't quite keep the sadness from my voice as I said that. I didn't want him to leave, but I doubted that this was how he'd planned to spend the night.

"Who's to say I'm not already enjoying my evening right here?"

"I—"

"Bella, would you like to dance with me?" he asked, cutting me off. His voice didn't hold such a confident tone as I'd noticed in it before.

I shook my head at him. "I don't really dance, Edward. I'm quite the klutz."

He chuckled as his hand slid over my free one, my other still gripping my glass. "Please? It'll be fun and I promise not to let you fall."

"Even Emmett can't keep me from falling."

"Emmett wouldn't be holding onto you like I would," Edward replied. My cheeks heated, a blushing spreading across my face in an even fuller effect than before. The heat was so familiar to me. Emmett did everything he ever could to make that happen. But the reason behind the blush was new. I'd never thought before about being held by a man, in any way, who wasn't related to me by blood. Edward holding me, well, that was rather appealing. The skin on my hand was tingling beneath his.

"Well, I mean, I guess…sure."

His hand tightened on mine as he moved. I frowned, no longer able to hear him, but felt my chair being pulled out. I tentatively stepped off the high chair and the second my feet hit the floor, an arm wrapped around my waist, steadying me. He led me to the dance floor slowly, and that was perfectly fine with me as he brought me to what would probably be the last time I would ever be out dancing at a club.

**EDWARD'S POV**

I guided her over to the dancer floor, her feet a little unsteady beneath her as she walked. Her scent, freesia and strawberries, filled me as she leaned into me. We walked – well, she stumbled a little – into the crowd of bodies toward the center where I'd spotted the other four who had joined us tonight.

Emmett and Rose smiled when we came upon them. "Did you need something, honey?" Rose asked Bella, causing the brown haired beauty to frown.

"No, thanks. Edward and I came out her to dance."

"Oh!" came Rose's surprised response. I guess Bella wasn't lying when she said she didn't dance.

My sister hip checked me. "Whaddup, big brother?" I rolled my eyes. I was older by all of ten minutes.

"Nothing much, little sister."

She went back to grinding on her boyfriend, and so I turned to look at Bella, her lips pursed. She was positively stunning, even in the dark lighting of the club. Her hair shimmered in the strobe lights and her lips were such a luscious, inviting pink. I wanted to kiss her. But even more, I wanted to see those beautiful brown eyes one more time.

"I've never really done this before," she admitted, embarrassed.

I chuckled. "It's easy, really." Smirking, I simply started moving back and forth with the music, closing my eyes, though I, belatedly, knew she couldn't see my actions. "Just let the music take control," I said into her ear, taking her hands in mine and placing one on each of my shoulders.

The blue sweater dress she wore gave her skin this sort of glow that was making me melt as I kept my hands over top of hers on my shoulders. I watched as she began moving her hips back and forth uncertainly. Chuckling, I placed my hands on her waist, not wanting to do so before incase it made her uncomfortable, and began guiding her hips from one side to the other, wishing I could close the large distance between us and hold her against me, moving her with me.

She smiled at me. "You were right. This is kind of fun," she told me.

I grinned back at her, though I quickly realized she couldn't see it. "I told you so," I gloated.

She laughed. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

We danced for a while. Every second I was wishing I could move her closer, but was nervous about her response. Suddenly, she was pushed up against me.

"Oof!" I grabbed her more firmly than I'd had her before, holding her tightly. "Sorry," she said sheepishly. "I got shoved."

I chuckled as she straightened up, but this time I held her much closer. "Well, we don't want that happening again now do we?" We weren't grinding or dancing in a particularly provocative way—though anything Bella did was provocative if you asked me—and it was just simple and comfortable, moving with the beat of the music. Rosalie and Alice came up behind me, Alice tapping my shoulder while Rose tapped Bella's.

"It was a pleasure dancing with you this evening, Bella," I commented, letting Rosalie lead her away to the women's room with Alice as Jasper, Emmett, and I moved back toward the table.

"Man, I can't believe my sister let a complete stranger lead her out onto the dance floor," Emmett groaned.

"I'm not a _complete_ stranger," I replied, taking a sip of my now very watered down coke. "Yuck. Do you guys need fresh drinks?" I asked. They both nodded. "What'd you have?"

"Just get a cherry coke, a Shirley temple, two ginger ales, and a virgin Pina Colada," Jasper answered.

"Yes sir," I answered before leaving for the bar and ordering the drinks. The bar tender gave me them on a tray which I carried back to the table where the girls were just taking their seats.

I sat the tray on the table and sat in my own seat, smiling at the odd sensation of the vibrations from the bass going from beneath my feet to beneath my ass. "Thank you," Rosalie sighed, taking her Pina Colada and sipping.

Alice took the Shirley Temple and grinned as Jasper pulled out the cherry and dropped it into her mouth. He chewed on the stem like a toothpick. Everyone else picked up their glasses and there was just one left on the tray. Bella's. My brows furrowed as I wondered why she didn't take it.

Rosalie picked it up off the tray and set it down against the back of her hand. She turned her hand around and lifted the glass off the table, bringing it to her full lips and taking a sip before setting it back down. She couldn't just pick up the glass, because she hadn't known where it was. Why didn't I think of that?

She adjusted her black and blue sunglasses and leaned back in her seat, smiling at her brother and Rosalie. How did she know where they were? "What time is it?"

I checked my watch. "Nine-thirty." She nodded.

"What time do you want to be home for?" Rosalie asked.

Bella shrugged. "I've already done my notes and I'm not too tired yet. As long as I'm home by eleven, I'll be alright."

"I've got an early lecture tomorrow, so I'm not staying much longer if you'd like a ride home," I offered.

"No, I wouldn't want you to go out of your way."

"I need to come over tonight anyway," Rosalie added.

She said she always went over there every night or morning to pick out Bella's clothes, I recalled. I nodded and took another sip of my coke, letting the cool liquid slide down my throat. It was a little more bubbly than usual and I could feel the bubbles ticking my nose in that annoying and painful way. "Ugh," I groaned.

Bella looked curious and concerned beside me. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing. Just the bubbles," I replied in her ear.

"Oh, okay." She shivered just before she spoke, and then took another sip of her drink, leaning back again. She seemed to be enjoying herself. I looked at my watch again and sighed.

"I've got to go now. I'll see you all soon."

"Bye," Bella's voice rang out to me as I stood and hugged my little sister. She and Jasper would leave together later.

"Bye," I said in her ear before departing for my car.

**BELLA'S POV**

I'd had so much fun tonight. I didn't know what it was about this evening that was so thrilling, considering I'd been out to a club before and it wasn't particularly enjoyable, but I was sure it was the company. I loved Emmett and Rose, don't get me wrong, but there was something about Edward that had me thoroughly absorbed in everything he did. I wished I could have a conversation with him sometime where we weren't in a crowded, noisy place. When it could just be the two of us.

But now, as Alice and Rosalie chatted away about nothing particularly interesting to me, I found that I wasn't quite enjoying myself anymore. Before, this place had been just somewhere for Edward and I to talk and dance. Now, it was a big room with sweaty bodies that smelled of arousal and musk. Not very pleasant.

I kept a smile on my face, however, because I knew Emmett and Rose would cut their night short anyway to take me home.

"Hey there kiddo," my brother said in my ear and I jumped, not realizing he'd moved nearer. His laugh drowned out the rest of the noise in the club as he muttered his apology.

"Hey, Em. What's up?"

"The ceiling. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine."

"I saw you dancing out there with Edward. Was it fun?"

I smiled and nodded. "I haven't had as much fun since we last played beep ball."

Emmett chuckled. "I love that game. I was thinking you and I would try to find another sport soon. What do you say?"

I shrugged. "It sounds fun." It really did. I couldn't play sports like a person normally could, but I could still do it with a lot of practice and special equipment. "What did you have in mind?"

"Soccer?"

I nodded. "Okay. Tell me more."

I knew he did research. He did a lot of it, usually, whenever he was thinking about introducing something new to me. He did that a lot, too. He knew how boring things could become when everything needed to be repetitive for me to be safe. That's why he didn't protest my moving out to the city. He understands how mad I would have gone in Forks. "They put a bell inside the ball, so you can hear where it is, and instead of the sounds coming from the bases, like in beep baseball, they come from the goals. Each goal's sound is different from the other, so you'll know which one is yours and which one you want to shoot on."

"When do you want to start?"

"I got permission from the school for you, me, and Rose to use the gym every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon at two." I nodded. "So we can work on that as long as you want and then trade off to beep ball once you're too frustrated." He poked my side as he teased me with the second part.

"Oh hush. You'd get frustrated if you couldn't see the ball, too." I swatted his hands away.

"Ready to go?" Rosalie asked out of nowhere.

"Yup. Let's hit the road."

_a/n2: So, there you all have it. Edward and Bella officially meet. Bella has fun...for once. Alice and Bella make up. Rosalie and Emmett get a chance to have some fun without worrying about Bella sitting home alone like the good siblings/friends that they are. Alice and Jasper get to go out and do a little down and dirty grinding. And Edward gets to go and be sex on legs, as always. Review, babes. JB (Hey! Same initials as Jacob Black!!!...Team Edward, 'cuz werewolves don't sparkle!)_


	5. Soccer, Secrets, & Special Features

_Mkay, so I promise now to TRY to stay on a schedule of updating every Friday. I'll be gone all week at tennis camp so I won't be anywhere near a computer until I get home a week from now, but I'll still be able to produce a lovely little update that night. Gimme some love, pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaase, and send a little review for me to look forward to after a brutal week on the hot courts at Peddie. xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Edward, but if you happen to come across him, put him on a leash, call me up, and I'll pay you a pretty penny for that sexy boy. ;)_

**BELLA'S POV**

"Okay, Bells. So, just start by getting a feel for the ball before we do anything else," Emmett told me. He was moving the ball at his feet, the sound of the bell bothering the hell out of me. I was a little excited to try, and Emmett was drawing all of it out.

I heard him move the soccer ball and then felt it touch my right foot. "Now, just put your foot on top of it." I did as I was told, holding on to Rose's shoulder for support because I wasn't going to take the risk of falling. "Alright, just roll it back under your foot, and then roll it forward again."

I nodded and started rolling it beneath my foot. I needed to really focus on the sound. Sensing a location and playing a sport based on sounds were two totally different things.

"Now roll it so it's in front of your left and switch feet." It wasn't too difficult, but it took a lot of concentration to keep my balance, even with Rosalie's help.

The tinkling bell inside was rolling around as the object moved. "Roll it forward, and then roll it back."

"Okay, what now, Emmett?"

He chuckled at my impatience. "Calm down, Bella."

I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest, but obeyed none the less as he had me continue to familiarize myself with what was a foreign object to me.

We did that for the first half hour before he picked up the ball and led me to a different area in the gym. Our foot falls echoed in the loud empty room, well, mine were pretty quiet. It was Emmett's and Rosalie's that I could really hear. He stopped me, placed the ball at my feet again, and backed away a number of steps. Rosalie knelt down beside me and her hands were touching my ankles. She tapped my left ankle.

"You're going to step forward on this foot first, Bella, right beside the ball." She tapped it once and I did what she said, her hand guiding my step. She then tapped my right ankle. "Turn it so that the inside of your foot is facing the ball and your toes are pointing outward." She still guided my foot as she did so. I was starting to lose my balance and reached out to grip anything when I realized they'd moved me right beside the gym wall. I put my left hand against the cool, painted wall made of large bricks, holding myself steady as Rosalie helped me manipulate my right foot. "Now, don't put that foot on the ground." She pushed it back just slightly. "We're going to go through the motion slowly, okay?" I nodded. She led my foot forward and touched it to the ball and it rolled forward just an inch or two.

I memorized the movement the best I could, where to make impact, what part of the foot was going to touch the ball, and so on.

"Okay, we're going to try this a few more times, and then you're going to try passing the ball to Emmett."

I nodded. She put my foot on the ground and let me put my right hand on her shoulder once she stood.

"Step with the left, move the right back, turn your foot so the inside impacts the ball, and push through." I did each of those movements slowly in the order she said, but missed the ball. I pursed my lips as I listened to Rosalie shift the ball into the proper position and had me try again. This time my foot touched the ball.

One more time and Rosalie decided I could try actually kicking.

"Just kick through, don't go slowly. It doesn't matter where it ends up right now, okay? Emmett will grab it quickly."

I nodded, and tried kicking through a little harder. I could hear the ball rolling out ahead of me, but I was pretty sure it didn't go very far. They had me kick the ball into random places for the final fifteen minutes. It was…different. I also was forced to point to where the ball was, just so that they could be sure I was capable of finding where it was heading. When I was learning new things, I always felt like a kindergartener, and it was frustrating beyond belief, but usually, it was worth it.

When our hour was over, Emmett and Rose took me back to my apartment so I could change and get to my science class. Rosalie walked to class with me, because her class was that way, and we spoke quietly as I tapped my cane out in front of me, watching for the bumps in the sidewalk that would just love to trip my blind self up.

It was Thursday, and it'd been exactly one week since we'd gone to the club. We hadn't used the gym on Tuesday because I'd had an appointment with my doctor. It was nothing special, jut to let him look at my eyes for a few minutes to make sure their condition wasn't somehow deteriorating or something. Honestly, I'd been blind my entire life, I didn't understand how their condition could worsen.

I walked to my apartment after my last class and put away most of my things, then headed out to the library. Emmett had been waiting at my apartment when I got there and insisted on joining me on my quest to the 'Big Building of Knowledge', even if I hardly had to walk two blocks. He claimed he needed a book for a project in one of his Architecture classes. He led me to the computer with Windows Eyes once we arrived and gave me my iPod head phones so that I could hear what the computer said without disturbing other students in the library.

I placed only one of the ear buds in, because having them both in made me nervous. I relied on my sense of hearing a lot. It was the only way for me to know if someone was approaching me, considering I couldn't see them.

I started typing up the response we were required to write in my English class. It was long, and I wasn't as efficient of a typer as other students. I couldn't hear the letters if they were being typed so quickly that the words in my ear overlapped.

I heard footsteps approaching me and then someone took a seat at the open computer next to me. The hair was standing up on the back of my neck and something in the air shifted. I forced myself to once again focus on my work as the soft, quick clicks came from the keyboard to my right.

Half way through the paper, I noted a unique scent which had successfully filled the air around me. My posture relaxed and I hadn't even realized how tensed I'd been.

"Hello, Edward," I said softly, not turning away from my work, but grinning.

"How did you know it was me?" his lovely voice asked, the tone of surprise very evident.

I smiled more warmly as I turned to him. "Everyone has special characteristics."

"They do, do they? What are mine?"

I shook my head at him. "They're a secret. If I told you, you'd try to change them on purpose, just so you could sneak up on me and scare me half to death. Believe me, Emmett's done it countless times."

He chuckled. "So, what are you typing?"

"English paper. You?"

"Just writing an e-mail to my parents. My laptop's not working properly at the moment."

I nodded.

"So…computers speak to you," he teased.

I laughed, grinning again. "Shh, that's a secret, too. No one is supposed to know about my super powers."

He laughed again. "Your secret is safe with me."

I heard him start typing again and I decided to get back to my paper. I heard his steady, light breathing and occasionally he would mumble words to himself. It was a bit amusing. When I felt I was finished, I went back to the start of the paper and my computer began reading it back to me in my left ear. Edward's typing stopped and I guessed he was done, but he didn't get up.

I didn't make many mistakes and I stopped the computer where it was every so often to edit those minor mishaps.

"That's a very well thought out response," Edward said as I clicked to print my paper, and I realized he'd been reading what had been on the screen.

"Thank you." I stood to go retrieve the paper from the printer, Edward following me. Just as I was about to reach out and take the pages from where I knew they would be, Edward was handing them to me. I wanted to say that I'd done this before and was perfectly capable of doing it on my own, but instead, I simply thanked him.

"No problem."

"It was nice running into you again."

"That it was," he chuckled. I walked to where Emmett had said he would be, Edward still walking along with me, but found he wasn't there. Frowning, I turned to Edward and asked, "Do you see Emmett anywhere?"

"He walked out a few minutes ago, probably heading to the bathroom."

"Oh." I sat down at the table, placing my paper before me and toying with the wire of the headphones in my hands. Edward sat beside me.

"Bella?"

"Yes?" I turned my head in his direction, 'looking at' him.

He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. The air felt tense between us. "Would you…" his voice was nervous. It was a very different sound on him from the man I'd conversed with at the club. It was more similar to his tone as he asked me to dance, but even more timid and uncertain. "Would you maybe…um…like to go out to dinner with me tomorrow night?"

"Will everyone else be there?" I asked, confused why he sounded so nervous.

"I was hoping that it could just be the two of us…like a date."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise and I could tell my useless eyes were wide. Why would he want to go on a date with me? Me? Why did my heart nearly shoot out of my chest when he even suggested it? Did I want to go on a date with him? Why in the world would he want to go out with _me_?

"Me?" I finally asked, dumbfounded. He couldn't be serious, could he?

"Yes, you. But, I guess if you…um…if you don't want to then…erm…"

Did I want to? Of course I _wanted _to. Edward had been on my mind a lot lately. My dreams were filled with the sound of his voice, with memories of the two of us dancing together, and I had let my brain just wander far too often throughout the day with thoughts of him.

"No, no, no, Edward," I said quickly. "I…I want to…it's just, I don't…I don't know why…you would want to go out with…_me_?"

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Bella, you're highly interesting and I enjoyed hanging out with you the other night—wait, is that a yes?"

I pursed my lips. I wanted to tell him that I was hardly interesting, that going out Thursday night like I had was a rarity, and that he would be better off dating a girl who could see anything placed directly in front of her, but Emmett decided to make an appearance at that moment.

"Edward, my man!" I spun my head around to where Emmett was standing and shushed him.

"We're in a library, you idiot," I hissed under my breath.

"Sorry, Bells," he sang, still not quiet enough.

"And this is why Emmett is no longer allowed inside most libraries," I muttered to myself, but Edward chuckled beside me.

"So, what are you two brainiacs up to?"

"Nothing," I replied quickly. "Just chatting."

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure Eddie-Boy was askin' you out on a date," Emmett shot at me.

My mouth dropped open. "How long have you been standing there?"

Edward was very silent all the while.

"Long enough to hear you keep squeaking _me_. Now, give the man an answer." Then he leaned down and, uncharacteristically, whispered quietly, "And if you use 'I'm blind, I'm not good enough' as your excuse, just as I know you were going to, I will follow you around for the rest of eternity singing the 'I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves' song."

And I knew he would follow up on that.

"You don't play fair," I accused.

"No one said I had to."

I turned in the direction of Edward who waited patiently, drumming his fingers on the table in front of him. Reaching toward the sound, I placed one hand on top of his, stopping the movement. My skin tingled with an oddly pleasant warming sensation. "Edward, I would love to go to dinner with you tomorrow," I answered sincerely, because it was the truth. And now I no longer had my only excuse not to join him.

"Really?" he asked. Was that a tone of excitement and surprise I heard in his voice? Or was that my wishful thinking?

I nodded.

"I'll pick you up, then. Um, what's your number?"

I smiled softly and removed my hand from his, reaching into my back pocket and pulling out my cell phone. I handed it to him so that he could input his number, and he did so quickly. I would have Emmett set it as a speed dial later. I then told him my number so that he could input it into his phone.

"I'll call you tomorrow to get your address, Bella. Is six thirty okay for you?"

I nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow night," I replied, wishing that I would literally be _seeing _him.

"Goodbye." I couldn't hear his foot steps as he walked away.

"Emmett?" I couldn't even hear his heavy breathing like I usually could. Was I going deaf? Had Emmett walked away while Edward and I were—

"Boo!" I jumped as two large paws fell on my shoulders and Emmett spoke loudly into my words. The squeak I released was pathetic. Just as quickly as the hands were there, they were gone, and I knew he had jumped back as he laughed boisterously.

I turned in my chair and smacked my hand out in his direction, but he was too far from me and my fingers just barely grazed his t-shirt. "Jerk," I huffed and stood, walking toward where I knew the door was. I quickly pulled out my cane and started walking away more quickly.

"Aw, Bells, don't be like that!" he called after me.

"SHHHHH!" a number of students hissed.

I could hear his heavy steps as he ran toward me. "At least take your paper, Bella." He laughed when I lifted my chin, ripped the papers from his hand (after missing a miserable four times), and huffed, walking out the door.

I knew he followed me back to the apartment, but I just ignored him. The idiot still didn't understand that I could hear him, even from the large distance he put between us.

He left me at my apartment building door, and I walked up the single flight of stairs tiredly after a long day of classes. Rosalie came just as I was getting into bed and set out my clothing as well as set Edward's number as speed dial number seven, Alice's as eight, and Jasper's as nine. Voicemail was one, Emmett was two, Rosalie three, Mom four, Dad five, and the house six.

It was a miracle I slept through the night. I was excited, nervous, scared, anxious, the list goes on. Wow, I was going on a date!

I'd only been on a date once before in my life. It ended miserably. Mike (the guy I'd gone out with) had only asked my out on a dare from the soccer team to "bed the blind girl". He was new to the varsity team and the captains' dares were your hazing. I found out afterward when he pulled into a parking lot and placed his hand on my knee. I could hear his breathing as he moved closer and I backed away tensely. He kept moving toward me, though, and I opened the door, falling out backward onto the concrete (meanwhile having no idea where I was at that point). He then proceeded to get out of the car and shout, "This bitch won't give it up, just so I can be part of your fucking team!"

I heard a ton of guys come toward the car, talking to Mike and one of them (I'd later been informed it was Ben, who hadn't been in any way comfortable with the situation from the start) called Emmett to come and get me. I didn't realize I was crying until I was in my room, on my bed, with Rose wiping down my face with a wash cloth. I'd been afraid to go out with anyone since then, but I knew Edward wouldn't be like that. He was Alice's brother, and Emmett had encouraged me (to some extent) to go out with him. Edward had to be different.

Ohmigod! I had a date with Edward Cullen!


	6. Tis A Gift To Be Simple

_so i'm back from camp. just got home about 7 hours ago. i'm tired as hell. exhausted as hell. my feet hurt like hell. my...yeah, well, you get the picture. anyway, guess what!!! i'm the most outstanding female camper! fuck yes! lmao. hm....life is cool i guess. i got a really cool new phone called the enV touch. ever heard of it?? it's amazing. IT FUCKING TALKS TO ME!!! ahahaha so if you haven't notice, the sun may have melted my brain a little bit. yeah. has anyone ever gotten sun poisoning??? it was really funny because the skin on my forearms just kept getting lots of little bubbles. i was just like "holy shit!" lol. there was this kid from spain. he was so cool. anyway, to quote him...all of you who reviewed..._

_"YOU'RE GOOD." ahahaha...okay, i'm done being a little retard now. love you all. please send me your love in return because i know you do :)_

_xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_

**EPOV**

I'd gone home after the night at the club, intending to sleep right away, but found it difficult with Bella on my mind. I couldn't get her out of my brain. She was stunning, and dancing with her had been like a dream come true. Finally, when I did fall asleep, I dreamt of her. It was something simple, just the both of us, walking hand in hand through the park…but she wasn't blind.

All the next morning, during my lecture, I couldn't stop asking myself if it bothered me that she couldn't see. Did it?

I'd had plenty of girlfriends in high school, but all any of them ever wanted was a boyfriend who would fuck them, who would look good on their arm, and who had money. I hadn't had sex with one of those shallow women. I was always looking for the real thing, probably because of the beautiful relationship my parents had. They'd been high school sweethearts and I'd bet anything they were even more in love now than they'd been back then.

I sighed as I thought about Bella again.

"What's on you mind big brother?" Alice asked me, popping into the seat next to me in the booth while Jasper took the other side. They began playing footsies the second they were settled. So fucking cute.

"Nothing much."

"Really? It looks like a lot. Have you been sleeping? You look like shit."

"Ouch, Alice, that hurts," I replied sarcastically. Leave it to Alice to be blunt. "I had trouble sleeping last night, and I don't look _that _bad." I looked down at the table, tracing the lines of the polished wood with my finger.

"Okay, something is really on your mind, and you're not leaving until you tell me about it."

"Does it bother you that Bella's blind?" I asked flat out. If she was going to be to the point than I would be straight forward as well.

When I looked up, she was staring at me in shock. She quickly composed herself, however. "No, just that she didn't tell me. Why?"

I shrugged.

Her eyes lit up suddenly and she grinned deviously. "You two looked pretty cozy last night. Is there something else you'd care to share?"

"I…I think I kind of like her." Alice had always been my confidant from the time we could both speak and understood the need to keep a secret. Just because this girl was Alice's friend, it didn't mean Alice wouldn't still be the one I turned to, to speak with. Jasper was just as much my confidant as Alice was, these days, so I wasn't concerned about him listening to my confession either.

"I like her, too, Edward. You're going to need to be more specific."

I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly. "I like her, like her. I…I want to ask her out, but all I've been able to ask myself this morning is _does it bother me that she's blind_?"

She paused for a moment, thinking. Finally, she asked, "Does it?"

I shrugged. "Maybe a little, but not really. I mean, it's nice, because I know that if she does choose to go out with me, it won't be because of my looks, but I keep realizing that that line of thinking feels so wrong, so terrible." My shoulders slumped as I admitted this.

Alice hummed as she thought, but it was Jasper who spoke up. "It's not a terrible way to think, Edward. The thing about it is that she will only like you as the person you are, not how you look. I wouldn't use 'nice' as the word to describe it, but you found a positive in what most people would only consider a negative."

I took a moment to mull over what he said, and recognized that maybe I was just using the wrong wording to describe what it was. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

He grinned. "I'm always right."

Alice kicked him under the table and his grin fell as he reached down to rub his shin. "Anyway," my sister continued as though she had just caused her boyfriend bodily harm, "I think you should ask her out."

I ran my hand through my hair. "I'm still a little…worried, though."

She sighed and grabbed my hand. She knew that it wasn't asking Bella out that I was nervous about (that had my nerves totally wild, don't get me wrong, but she knew it wasn't that which I was referring to). "Edward, I know how things went with Tanya. I know that things were difficult, and that you're nervous about something like that happening again, but I know Rosalie, I know Emmett, and I know a lot about Bella. She's a good person. She's not going to be a repeat."

I nodded and smiled at her just as the drinks I'd ordered before Alice and Jasper got here came. The rest of our lunch was pleasant as we chatted about our mornings and then we separated and headed off to class.

I was on edge all week, trying to figure out how to ask her. I knew that in order to get into contact with her, I'd have to speak with either Rosalie, or Emmett, and I was sure I would speak with Rosalie because Emmett scared the hell out of me, though he'd seemed thoroughly happy when I had danced with Bella Thursday night. I received Rosalie's phone number from Alice, and finally called it a week after the night at the club. She informed me that Bella was at the campus library with Emmett and that if I wanted to ask Bella out, I should go there and ask in person. I'd never run down those two flights of stairs faster.

I got to the library in record time and saw Emmett sitting at the table, watching his sister diligently at the computer. Her back was to us, and she was typing on the computer that she was sitting at. She really was very capable. I took a seat at the table with Emmett, not wanting to disturb Bella's concentration at this moment.

"Hi, Emmett," I said weakly. I wanted to ask him permission to go out with his sister, because I knew how protective he was over her. Rosalie had given me warning of that as well. So much for avoiding talking to Emmett about it.

"Edward," he greeted, keeping focused on Bella. He was glaring harshly in the direction of a guy who was approaching the empty computer beside her. I glared too, and almost as if he felt our glares on his back, he turned to look at us. Shying away, he walked to the computers on the other side of the room. Emmett suddenly turned jovial and looked at me. "So, what brings you to the library today?"

I rubbed the back of my neck nervously. "I was wondering if it'd be alright if I asked your sister to dinner for tomorrow night…"

He shrugged. "Sure, why not? You're a good guy."

"Really?" I asked in surprise. He snickered, and I realized my voice had been three octaves above its usual pitch. I cleared my throat and kept my voice low as I asked once again. "Really?"

"Rose gave me the heads up," he answered, still snickering.

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Now I actually have to ask Bella."

"Go take the computer next to her, and just wait for her to talk to you."

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Who says she'll talk to me? How would she know it's me if I don't say anything?" I asked.

Emmett laughed, shaking his head. "Just trust me, alright?"

She'd tensed up when I took the computer beside her. I decided to start checking my emails since my laptop had been sent back to Apple to fix the screen. My inbox had a few messages from my parents who had been out of town for a week and just returned home. It was a very long message describing their vacation on the 'beautiful island that Carlisle bought'. Some details were more than I needed. I typed back an equally thorough message to my parents about the most recent developments in my life, adding a few details about Alice's and Jasper's. I mentioned Bella a few times, too, but not saying much about her.

I was surprised when Bella suddenly said hello to me. She told me everyone has unique characteristics, but refused to tell me what mine were. She read through her paper, I didn't know how, but I watched the screen as it went through. She was highly intelligent, the paper written beautifully. Her wide-ranging vocabulary was staggering.

She printed the paper and went to get it from the printer, and I followed her, picking it up and handing it to her. I could tell she was biting words back and I wondered if I'd offended her by assuming she needed to be given the pages.

Bella then started walking toward Emmett, who then gave me a thumbs up or thumbs down sign, asking me if she'd said yes or no, and I mouthed, 'didn't ask yet'. He mouthed, 'coward' in response and stood, walking away to the other side of the room. Bella asked me if I'd seen Emmett, and I told her he'd stepped out.

When I asked her, I was such a nervous wreck. She didn't give me a real answer at all until Emmett came up and spoke to her. I didn't hear what was said, but she sincerely answered with a yes, her hand over mine. Wow, that was heaven. She gave me her phone and I programmed my number into it, then she gave me her number and I dialed it into mine, saving it.

I walked out the building feeling light, and the second I was out the doors, broke into a sprint for my car. I was delighted, and I flew the short distance back to my apartment, parking and running up the two flights of stairs. I entered the apartment, flipped on the lights, and jumped when I saw Alice and Rosalie sitting there on the couch.

"Christ!" I shouted, gripping my chest. "Were you two trying to scare the crap out of me?"

"What did she say?" they pounced.

I smiled greatly. "She said yes."

Alice squealed while Rosalie just smiled like a jovial mother. "Where are you going to take her?" Alice asked when she finally calmed down.

I pursed my lips. "I don't know yet."

"Take her to _Gino's. _Emmett and I go there all of the time and we always get something for her to eat while we're there. She comes with us sometimes, but not often. That's not important, though. The point is that she _loves _that place, and she won't feel stupid for not being able to read the menu, because she'll already know what she wants," Rosalie told me, all in one breath. She took a large breath when she finished.

"Okay," I replied, knowing where that was, having eaten there a few weeks ago. "I like that place, too. They've got a wide variety of pasta."

"She'll get the mushroom ravioli," Rosalie told me. "By far her favorite."

I grinned. "Thanks for the advice."

"No problem," Rosalie replied, as she walked toward the door.

"Is that all you broke into my apartment for?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, and I didn't break in, Alice got the super to do it," she replied before walking out the door.

I chuckled, shaking my head and taking a seat on my couch beside my sister. "So…"

"So, you're in a good mood," Alice chirped.

I grinned. "Am I?" I asked, feigning ignorance.

Alice smacked my shoulder and then leaned on it. "I saw the way you looked at her Thursday night," she said softly.

"And how did I look at her?" I asked seriously.

"Edward, be careful with her, please. You may not know it, but I've seen it." _Alice has been known to see the future in her dreams_. "She's fragile. She's scared. She doesn't ever feel like she's good enough. But at the same time she's strong, and a better person than anyone I've ever met, and what she wants is something that most of us take for granted on a daily basis."

"She wants to see," I whispered sadly.

Alice nodded. "The other day she told me she wished she could see me, see the clothes I chose to wear that I couldn't stop talking about. Do you know how quickly I realized how simple her wishes were?"

"Like the snap of your fingers," I replied.

She nodded once again against my shoulder. "I don't really want for much, but even some of my wants aren't as plain as hers are. You know what I wish right now?"

"That you could be just like her, wanting the small pleasures in life and not caring about the other things out there that don't matter?"

"Yeah," she said softly.

As twins, we had this weird connection with each other. Most of the times it was like I was reading her mind. I was pretty good at reading people, but there were people like Bella who were just so difficult to read. But Alice was always an open book to me. There were no secrets. There was no hiding. Our minds were one, and it was what kept us so close.

When Alice left, I sat down to my keyboard and played the piece I'd written for my mother years ago, enjoying the warming, soothing tones that calmed me enough to fall asleep. I walked drowsily to my room, changed into flannel pants, and slipped beneath the covers. My head hit the pillow and I fell fast asleep, smiling as I once again dreamt of the brown-haired, heaven-sent woman that I would have the pleasure of taking to dinner the next night.

Friday passed so dreadfully slowly, and all I wanted to do was see her again. I got ready far too quickly to really pass much time, and so I plopped down at my table and daydreamed about her like the pathetic little fool I'd become since meeting her.

Finally, when six fifteen came around, I decided to call.

"Hello?" my angel chorused.


	7. See My Smile

_it's 1:11 AM. i'm tired as fuck. i have double vision. and i leave for camp tomorrow (as in Sunday). nothing much to say to you guys right now other than that this is more of a filler chapter than anything else and that, because of this, i am willing to post a second chapter tomorrow (well, tonight, actually) just so that you won't hate me. it's far more likely that i'll remember to do so, however, if you all send me your love (or hate) in a review._

xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo

**Bella's POV**

The door burst open to my apartment and slammed against the wall, making me cringe. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought Emmett was with Rosalie, but the footsteps were light and of a second pair of heels. Definitely feminine.

"Hello to you too, Rose, Alice," I muttered, flipping my glasses down onto the bridge of my nose before they saw my eyes.

Rosalie's feet kept toward the bedroom, but Alice stopped. "How did you know it was me? In fact, how do you _always _know it's me?"

I grinned. "It's like a sixth sense sort of thing," I teased.

Her little hand grabbed mine and pulled me off the sofa, dragging me in the direction my room. She pulled me too quickly, however, and I stumbled, my knees hitting the floor.

"Oh my god! Bella, are you okay?!"

"I'm fine," I replied, brushing my knees off and standing up, smiling at her reassuringly.

"I'm so sorry!" I waved it off, dismissing the need for the apology, and walked to my room where I could hear Rose moving around. "Wow, for a blind girl, you've certainly got a lot of cosmetics, and all of it's _Renee_. Good stuff," Alice commented after about ten minutes of sitting in my room.

Rosalie and I started laughing hysterically while Alice moved about the room in a confused silence. "I don't get what's so funny about that," she muttered. I shook my head, still unable to keep the smile off my face. I was glad she was comfortable enough to crack a joke about my disability. It was nice to know it really didn't bother her very much.

"Alice, my mom is Renee Dwyer," I told her.

"So?" she asked. Seconds later, I could practically hear the click in her mind. "No way!"

I shrugged. "I never use the stuff, really, but she sends me a lot of it all the time."

"That is _so _cool."

"To you, I guess, but to me it doesn't really matter," I replied. I was blind, I couldn't use makeup, at least, not on my own. I really only enjoyed the perfumes. Renee had a special line of perfumes designed specifically for a very light, subtle scent that wouldn't overwhelm my senses while still offering some fragrance.

"Strip," Rose ordered. If it had been just Rose, I would have complied on the spot, but Alice was with us.

Alice must have sensed my discomfort, because she said, "Bella, we're all girls here. You don't have anything that I don't have."

I could feel the heat in my cheeks as I removed my jeans and t-shirt, keeping my glasses securely in place. Rose placed a new pair of jeans in my hands and I faced her questioningly.

"Why can't I just wear the jeans I had on?" I sat back on my bed and pulled on the new ones, but I was curious.

"Because these jeans will look a lot better."

"These jeans are a lot tighter," I commented as I pulled up the zipper and buttoned them.

"Exactly," Alice replied.

"We probably should have made her change out of the granny panties," Rose whispered to Alice.

"No, my brother wouldn't go for her panties on the first date," Alice snickered.

I frowned at them. "Still shirtless over here!"

"Take off the sports bra."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you're going on a date with my brother, and I say so."

"You just said he doesn't go for panties on the first date."

"And he won't go for your bra either, but the sports bra is going to show with the shirt we want you to wear, and that just won't do."

"Fine," I huffed, embarrassingly removing said item of clothing. It fell to the floor and I instantly covered myself.

I felt something smooth touch my hands, a nicely textured cloth, and assumed it was whatever bra that Rose or Alice had picked out. I turned away from them and quickly put it on, making sure I was properly placed and wasn't spilling out the sides. It only had one strap and I realized it was for a halter top. So that's what they're putting me in.

I was then handed a shirt that felt like a soft cotton. I slipped it on, feeling the lace on the bottom, the bust, and the halter strap. "This is very nice," I said to the girls, turning around to face them once again.

"Thank you," Alice replied.

"Don't take all the credit, short stuff. You may have picked out the shirt, but it was from the selection I set out," Rosalie quipped, but I could tell she was happy.

I smiled, holding my hand out like always and I felt her cheek press against the palm. I felt her smile beneath my hands and my grin grew.

"What are you doing?" Alice questioned. Rose withdrew her face from my hand and guided it over to Alice's face, who didn't flinch when I touched her cheek.

"She's seeing our smiles," Rose explained.

I felt across Alice's face more tentatively than Rose's. She wasn't used to this and it was obviously going to be an alien experience. I laughed when I realized she was grinning hugely.

"Alice, just your natural smile would have been fine."

Rose laughed too. "Bella, sweetie, that is Alice's natural smile…when it comes to fashion that is."

The three of us laughed again and Rose led me back to the bed, asking me to sit down.

"May I?" she asked, and I nodded in response, closing my eyes. She removed my glasses and placed them in my lap, my hand engulfing my comfort and safety as the only thing that now kept us separated was the thin eyelids that covered my dead eyes.

I felt the beauty products being drawn on my face by Rosalie's gentle hands as Alice toyed around with my hair.

"No, no, no. You have to make it smooth and shiny by straightening it, then pull the straightener through one more time, curling the hair around it," Rosalie protested suddenly.

I tried not to move, but couldn't help my eyebrows from furrowing.

"But it'll look so pretty in tight curls with the hair spray," Alice answered.

"But it won't _feel _pretty Alice."

"So?"

"So, texture has to come right up alongside appearance."

"What does texture have anything to do with this?" Alice asked, annoyed.

"Because I can't see my hair, Alice. I can only feel it," I answered before Rosalie could, and I could once again hear that mental click.

"Oh, well that makes a lot more sense." The both of them went back to working diligently. Rose was done rather quickly and put my glasses back on my face for me. I smiled in thanks to her and opened my eyes, once again greeted by that constant stale air behind the shades.

As Alice was finishing up, Rose slipped a pair of shoes onto my bare feet. Alice, who'd been sitting on the bed behind me, then got up and the both of them stood still, breathing evenly as they scrutinized their work.

"I think we're done here," Alice said.

"Tell me," I pleaded.

"Indigo jeans with a flare leg – they'll make your legs look longer – and a deep blue halter top with lace – as you already felt. Those white ballet flats that I got you the other day. Your make up is a soft brown eyeliner, and lip gloss."

"You were working on my make up for a while, Rose," I said, knowing that it wouldn't have taken her that long _just _to put those on.

"I was using this great new moisturizer your mom sent."

"'Kay."

"Your hair, as you already know, is loose curls, shiny, smooth, and soft. We pinned up your bangs in a pouf and I slipped those tiny silver hoops into your ears."

I smiled and hummed happily as I slid my hands carefully over my soft hair. "Hmmm, sounds perfect." It felt perfect, too.

"It is perfect."

I laughed, outstretching my arms as I walked toward them. "Thank you guys, so much."

My arms wrapped around their shoulders and their arms wrapped around my waist just as my cell phone chimed from wherever my jeans were on the floor.

"And that's our cue to leave," Rose sang.

"Yeah, Edward will be here in like two seconds," Alice added while they began walking away.

"Okay, I'll see you tonight, Rose."

"I already set your clothes out," she called from the door just before shutting it as I scrambled to get my phone.

"Hello?" I answered far too excitedly.

"Hey," he breathed. I really didn't know what to say, and there was an awkward silence until he asked me where I lived. He chuckled, saying he'd be there in a second and then hung up.

Shrugging, I walked toward the front door, picking up my cane and my small purse. I dropped my cell phone into the purse just as I heard light footsteps and a knock at my door.

When I opened it, I assumed it was Edward, and was greeted by his voice. "Hello, Bella. Interesting how Rosalie and Alice forgot to mention we live in the same building."

I quirked my head to the side, hearing what he said, and then laughed. "That would be Rose for you."

"And that would be Alice for you."

Smiling, I slipped my fleece over my shoulders and unfolded my cane. I closed the door behind me after stepping out and locked it.

"You look wonderful, by the way," he commented as I felt his warm hand pressing gently on my lower back.

I could feel the heat in my cheeks as I blushed. It was probably the first time I'd ever cared that someone thought I was physically beautiful.

We walked to the steps, and I gripped the railing tightly as I walked down them. Edward remained at a slow pace as he kept with me. I could tell he was weary, likely afraid that I was going to trip and topple down the staircase. I couldn't fault him for worrying about that, since it wasn't as if I hadn't fallen walking across flat surfaces with nothing in my way.

**Edward's POV**

When we exited the apartment building, I was debating between taking my car and just walking. When I felt a rain drop hit my forehead, I decided that taking my car would be the better idea.

With my hand still on her lower back, I led her toward the small lot they had for residents. She was rhythmically tapping her metal cane against the ground, listening carefully to the sounds around her. I knew for a fact that she very easily could have walked to the lot without it, considering I'd seen her walking to her classes without it, but I guessed she wanted to be sure she knew where she was walking this time.

"Parking lot?" she asked suddenly.

I nodded, but realized she couldn't see that and then replied affirmatively.

"Are we going very far?" she questioned.

"No, but there's a light drizzle and it's getting heavier."

She seemed satisfied with that and I walked her to my silver Volvo, opening the door for her and helping her get in. When I got in on my side and turned on the engine, I was almost positive she mumbled something like "leather seats, quiet engine, nice car" but I didn't respond to that.

"We're going to _Gino's_. I hope you don't mind," I said nonchalantly as if I hadn't asked Rosalie where to take her and had just come up with it on my own.

Her face lit up with a lovely smile. "That's my favorite place."

"Is it?" I asked, feigning surprise.

She laughed. "You asked Rose, didn't you?"

"Is it that obvious?"

She shrugged. "You were too sure of yourself." I could hear the teasing tone of her voice.

I chuckled, though I was slightly embarrassed. "Alright."

The drive there was rather quiet, but it was too short to really make conversation. I parked along the street and opened the door, helping her out before quickly paying the meter. I placed my hand on the small of her back again and led her toward the restaurant, the soft Italian music playing behind the light chatter of the people sitting in the crowded restaurant.

"How many?" the host asked, looking down at his seating chart.

"Just two," I answered as Bella folded up her cane.

"Follow me, please."

"Yeah, because I can see where you're leading me," Bella muttered, giggling to herself.


	8. Dazed

_so i'm leaving for camp tomorrow afternoon and wanted to make sure i got this up before hand. unfortunately, that means that it won't undergo my quadruple grammar/spelling/wording check and all of my final edits that have made my chapters flow well thus far. i hope you all can forgive me with the understanding that i'll fix all of it up when i get back and repost it if there are too many mistakes. i have to ask, really, just out of curiousity, everyone's favorite movie. i'm trying to pick one for a later chapter, and, quite frustratingly, i'm really not much of a movie watcher. please tell me your fave in a review for a little helping hand. please???_

_xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_

**Edward's POV**

I sat down in the booth the host had led us to. It was in the back and a bit more private, for which I was thankful, because it was also a lot quieter, and I assumed that Bella felt more comfortable when she could get a better sense of her surroundings through her hearing.

Bella slipped off her jacket and stood there in that lovely, dark blue halter top that I had seen her in when she'd answered the door. Once again, her skin was glowing. Her makeup was soft, and the only hint of it that I could see was the shimmer of the gloss on her lips. Her skin looked so soft on her face, and I was dying to reach out and touch it. She placed her hand on the table and nervously felt along it before I grabbed her hand and pulled her to my side, silently asking her to sit with me.

The small smile on her face was so perfect, and I couldn't help the smile that grew on my face in response.

I took her jacket from her hands and skillfully tossed it over the table and onto the other bench in the booth. Rolling up the sleeves of my black button up, I turned slightly to see Bella.

"How was your day?" I asked to start conversation between us.

"It was pleasant. Class really was nothing out of the ordinary, and I went home directly after to listen to some of the lectures. Then Alice and Rosalie showed up and scared the living daylights out of me," she replied, laughing.

I chuckled. "Was that what the noise was all about? I could have sworn there were two pit bulls going at it in that apartment."

"I didn't think we were that loud," she muttered, pouting.

I shook my head. "No, no, you weren't, really. I was just playing my keyboard and so my ears were really focused on all the noises around me. I pick up on a lot."

She smiled. "Is that you playing every morning?"

I could feel my skin heat, running my hand through my hair. "Yeah, sorry about that. I thought I had the volume low enough and I don't mean to annoy any—"

"Don't be silly, Edward, it's lovely. I, for one, thoroughly enjoy it. And it's very faint, which means it's likely I'm the only one in the building besides you who can hear it."

"Oh. Um, thank you."

"It's a shame, though, that I'm usually getting ready when you play. I end up missing a lot of it because I'm eating breakfast or something."

I chuckled. "I'll just have to play for you then, when you're not busy doing something else."

"Good evening, I'm Olivia, welcome to _Gino's_. What would you two like to drink?" a woman, whose hair was just beginning to gray, asked.

"Bella?" I prompted her to go first.

"May I please have a coke?" she asked. Olivia nodded and scribbled that down on her pad.

"And you, sir?"

"I'll have the same," I replied. She walked away and Bella and I continued our conversation while I looked over the menu to see what I'd like to order. When Olivia returned, she placed each of our drinks in front of us.

"Are you both ready to order?" Olivia asked.

"I would love the Mushroom Ravioli, please," Bella ordered, this time without my prompt.

"Of course," Olivia replied, nodding, and writing down the order.

"And I'd like the chicken parmesan." She collected the two menus, only one having been used, and walked away. Bella slowly moved her hand to her glass just as I was about to reach out and hand it to her.

She giggled, having tapped my hand on the way. "I have it, Edward, thank you," she said sweetly. "I could hear where she placed it, but at the club, the music was too loud to know where anything was."

"Gotcha," I replied, understanding.

"So, your day?" she asked.

I chuckled. "Dreadfully long. I thought it'd never be six thirty."

She laughed, placing her drink back on the table before her. "I know how you feel."

"You grew up around here?" I asked.

She nodded. "Forks, Washington. Total populous of about three thousand people and most likely the wettest place on Earth excluding Atlantis."

I laughed. "You make the town sound terrible."

"Oh, it is," she said with a perky tone in her voice. "I love being out here in Seattle. It was so boring in Forks. I rarely came to Seattle, or left my hometown at all for that matter, so being able to live outside of Forks is a gift from the heavens."

She giggled cutely as I chuckled once again. "I grew up in Chicago. Born and raised in the city, and it was never incredibly interesting there. I preferred when my dad would take me on hiking trips."

"My dad took me on a hiking trip once. I tripped twelve times before I was even fifteen feet into the forest. Emmett decided to carry me the rest of the way," she confided with a huge smile on her face. "Once the hiking was done and we were sitting by the river, it was actually rather nice."

After about twenty five more minutes of talking, our food arrived, and each of us began to eat. I enjoyed listening to the small hums of pleasure that Bella made with each bite of food. Rosalie wasn't lying when she said Bella absolutely loved the mushroom ravioli, and I was glad that she didn't feel stupid for not being able to see the menu.

She told me small, funny little anecdotes about her childhood, and in return I shared little tidbits of mine. It was a rather short dinner and I wished the night didn't have to end yet, but the check came and I knew it was time for us to leave. Bella protested my paying, but after a few minutes of my argument versus hers, she gave in, knowing she was defeated.

I picked up her jacket and her purse for her, slipping the thin black coat up her arms and over her shoulders. I placed her purse in her hand and she unfolded her cane, walking with me as I once again guided her through the slightly less full restaurant.

Once we were outside, the rain fell down upon us. I pulled her back under the overhang, took her cane from her, and folded it up, placing it in my back pocket.

"Hey, I need that!" she protested. I laughed, wrapping my arm tightly around her waist and pulling her tightly against my side.

"Hold on tight, spider monkey," I told her and she gripped onto the side of my shirt, holding her soft body closer to mine. "We're going to make a run for my car, okay?"

"Edward I—"

"Ready, set, go!" I pulled her with me, chuckling as she scrambled alongside me. We made it and, as I had already had the doors unlocked when we stood under the overhang, I flung her door open and ushered her inside. I ran around to my side and hopped in, pulling the cane from my back pocket and handing it to her wet, giggling form.

"That was so much fun," she admitted. "I've never run in the rain before."

I chuckled. "Exhilarating, isn't it?"

"Very."

I turned on the car and pulled out of the space once we both had our seatbelts buckled, driving around the block in order to get back to our apartments. I was glad we didn't have to run this far between the apartments. It was a long way to go when it was raining.

"Home, sweet home," I informed her as I cut the engine. She laughed, shaking her head.

I got out of the car and ran to her side, opening the door for her and helping her out before we quickly darted to the front door of the apartment building in the same manner as we had run to the car.

I walked her up the steps, refusing to remove my arm from around her waist until I had to. She was grinning as we approach her door, muttering a number with each step and I realized she was counting them. "Do you always count your steps?"

"Not usually, but when I'm distracted, I have to stay focused on where I'm walking."

I grinned. "Am I distracting you?" I asked her just as we arrived at her door. She leaned back against it while I leaned forward, planting my hands against the door on either side of her head and leaning my face down toward hers.

Her breathing quickened as she admitted, "Yes, very much."

Leaning further in, I pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "Does that bother you?"

"Not at all," she told me, her face tilting up a bit more as her beautiful, glossy, pink lips called me toward them.

"Would you mind if I kissed you now?" I asked, beginning to move mine toward them.

"Please do," she whispered, her warm breath fanning across my face.

My lips descended upon hers in a soft kiss, slowly moving against hers as my eyelids closed. Bright lights danced behind them and the electricity heated my entire body. I moved my lips against hers, and when I finally realized we would both need to breathe, I pulled back. I opened my eyes to see her soft pink lips were no longer as glossy as before and assumed that some of it had rubbed off onto my own. I took her hands in mine and pulled them to my mouth, placing a kiss on the back of each.

"Thank you for coming out with me tonight," I whispered, putting her hands back down at her sides.

"Oh…erm…It was my pleasure, honestly. I had a wonderful time." She had a sort of dazed smile on her face, and I wondered what her lovely brown eyes looked like at the moment behind their frames.

"I'll call you tomorrow." I leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on her lips before walking back toward the staircase and walking up the set of stairs to my apartment. I opened the door, stepping inside, and grinned as I sat on the couch. That was undoubtedly the best night of my life.

**Bella's POV**

I listened to the receding footsteps of Edward as he walked toward the staircase. I touched my fingers to my lips. The memory of the tingling sensation that I felt anytime his skin came in contact with mine was still at the forefront of my mind as I sat in a daze.

That had been my first kiss, and it was staggeringly amazing. It made my knees weak, my brain fog up, my eyes roll back in my head, my heart beat wildly, my breathing stop, and my world melt away from around me.

"Wow," I whispered. I must have stood there for a while in a daze when I was suddenly knocked out of it.

"Are you okay?" Mister Black, my neighbor, asked. His name was Jacob, and he was rather nice, as were his wife Vanessa and their two children. I thought it was a rather small place to have a full family, but then again, I knew his apartment was of the larger ones in the building and that not everyone could afford anything larger.

I searched for my keys in my purse. "Yes, yes I'm fine."

He laughed deeply, lowly. "Alright then," he replied and I heard the door to his apartment open and tiny little voices shouting, "Daddy!"

My hands finally locked on my key and I pulled it out of my purse, unlocking my door quickly and stumbling into my apartment. I placed my cane, which I'd hardly used all night, by the door with my purse, locked the door behind me, and took my phone with me to my bedroom.

I showered to relax my still rapidly beating heart and to clean off the makeup. I didn't wash my hair, hoping that if Edward called tomorrow, he might want to meet with me again. _If _he called…

When all was done, I could hear the piano music upstairs and grinned, now knowing who it was that played the beautiful music. I lay in bed and listened to the soothing sounds, removing my glasses and falling into a sleep with dreams of Edward's voice, smell, and drugging kiss.


	9. The Spanish Inquisition and Second Dates

_a/n: Everything happens for a reason. That's all I've been saying for the past week since injuring my shoulder on Monday. I found out this morning that there's a 95 percent chance I can't play competitive tennis anymore. I've spent everyday this summer on the courts doing six hours a day instead of hanging out with friends. Yesterday was the first time in over a month that I had seen my boyfriend because I was being so devoted to my tennis that I didn't have time to see him. I've worked my ass off to finally reach the point where I'm happy with my game. And then I blow out my shoulder. And I'll keep blowing out my shoulder, which is why I can't compete. Pseudodislocation. Supraflexation. Whatever the fuck the technical term is that you want to call it. I think the best way to describe my condition in lamen's terms would be..."I'm Fucked." So, thus the 'Everything happens for a goddamn fucking reason' mantra. What I'm thinking the reason is? So i can go back to field hockey. I think it's what I should have been playing all along. There's no overhead motions, so it won't aggrivate my shoulder, and dammit I'm fucking good at it naturally!_

_I'm sorry for there being no update last Friday, but I can explain my actions. I'd spent four hours stuck in traffic coming back from a week away at camp last Friday. I had not been home for even an hour and a half before my cousin and his fiancee arrived for a weekend visit. I'd had no chance whatsoever to post, and I really didn't have the brain capacity to do so. I would have done it after my cousin and his fiancee left, but then the shoulder shit hit the fan, and, well, I hope some of you can understand what I was experiencing. We were afraid it was my rotator cuff (or whatever the fuck it's called) and that I would have to have surgery on my shoulder. Fortunately, it's just that old "same shit, different day"...plus a lot more pain...sort of thing..._

_So, there really hasn't been anything else to my life other than the fact that I'll be on the cover of two books. "Smack" by Melvin Burgess and "She Thief" but someone else. I just got paid two hundred bucks for getting taken pictures of. Sweet deal, right? Right. Although, it did take me an entire week to wash off all the makeup. Eye makeup is a real bitch, you know? You can't scrub, and you can't use strong soap. You just gotta let it come off in its own time._

_Oh, and I forgot to mention my other mantra for the week. FML. Really. I had my right arm in an immobilizer. Fucking bitch I couldn't do anything with it on. Not even type. I was doing one of those one-finger-dunno-how-to-type deals just to log onto my email. Gah. I think too many curse words entered my usually parent friendly vocabulary._

_But, on the brightside, I enjoyed an entirely father-free week as my dad was in LA and Vegas all week for meetings. Suck it._

_xox Jordi Brooke xox_

**Edward's POV**

I woke up the next morning to the shrill cry of my incredibly annoying cell phone.

"There had better be a good reason for waking me up this early," I answered without checking the ID in a groggy, irritated voice.

"Well, hello to you too, son," my dad's amused voice said through the speaker.

I groaned. "Sorry, Dad. If I'd known it was you I wouldn't have answered like that."

"Edward Anthony, I thought we raised you with manners. You shouldn't _ever _answer the phone like that," my mother scolded.

Perfect. I was on speaker phone. "Sorry, Mom. I was just tired."

"It's a bright sunny Saturday morning; shouldn't you be out running in the park?"

I chuckled, looking out the window. "Actually, Mom, it's drizzling outside and it's barely even eight o'clock."

"Late night studying?" my dad asked.

"No."

"Late night partying?" my mother teased.

"Yeah, right," came my sarcastic reply.

"Then what, my dear boy, has you so tired?" she asked. I sighed happily as I recalled why. "Oh, it's a girl." She sounded enthused and worried at the same time. I would have been, too, if I were her.

"Bella," I breathed her name, smiling.

"You sound like you're in a good mood suddenly," my dad teased again.

"She's incredible. I don't even know where to begin."

"Where did you meet?"

I blushed, though they couldn't see that. "I sort of ran into her on the street, literally, when I was rushing back to my apartment," I muttered.

My mother laughed while my father just snickered. "When was your first date?"

"Last night."

"How did it go?"

"What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?" I asked jokingly.

"Answer the question, son, or your mother may just implode," my father teased her.

"I will not," she protested.

"It went amazingly," I replied. "And that's all that I will say."

"Well, if you don't want to say anymore, I won't pry," Mom said, but I could tell she was dying to hear more. I was just about to add something else, in order to satisfy her, when my phone beeped, signifying I had a call waiting. I looked at the screen and shuddered.

"I'd love to keep talking, but Alice is calling me, and considering the fact that Bella is a friend of hers, I'm afraid to keep my dear little sister waiting."

My parents both laughed and said quick goodbyes and I switched over to answer Alice's call. We talked for a little while about the night and I knew Alice was just vibrating by the sound of her voice. I loved that girl, but Jasper seriously needed to hide the Red Bull and switch her to decaf. It was not healthy to have this much energy at this time in the morning…or at _any_ point in the day, if I was being honest.

"Are you taking her out again?"

"I was planning on it."

"Call her now. Rose is in Bella's bedroom with her and she just finished giving all the wonderful details about your date before I called you. Now they're just talking about random music and possible plans for the day."

"Yes ma'am," I said, saluting her even though she couldn't see it.

I thought for a few moments about what I would do for another date, when I looked outside to see that the deep orange autumn sun was shining and that the rain water was shimmering in the light. The ground was too wet and slippery to go running in the park, but it was a lovely day to go for a walk.

I picked up my cell phone and found her number in my contacts. After three rings, Bella answered excitedly. "Hello?"

I smiled to myself. "Good morning, Bella. I was calling to ask if you were busy today."

"I haven't made any plans as of yet," she replied, and I could hear that she was smiling too. "Why do you ask?"

"I was hoping you might want to take a walk in the park with me and then join me for lunch."

"I'd love to, but on one condition."

I could agree to one condition. I would agree to anything if I could spend time with her. "Alright."

"Let me pay for lunch."

I frowned. "Anything but that."

"Please, Edward. I hate people spending money on me." I could now hear that she was pouting, and I could just imagine those beautiful lips, the bottom one poking out as she pleaded. Who could resist that face?

"Fine, fine. I'll meet you at your apartment in about an hour. Is that alright?"

"That's perfect," she told me.

"See you soon."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and could hear my sister's squeal downstairs. I chuckled to myself as I stood and walked over to my shower to get myself ready. The shower didn't take long, and after I was dressed, I shook out my wet hair, smiling into the mirror.

I sat down at my keyboard, just as I had done last night, and played until it was time to go, knowing that she could hear me. Her apartment was exactly below mine. She had apartment 2C and I had apartment 3C. It was entirely too perfect.

When the hour had finally passed, I slowly walked down the steps, just in time to see my sister and Rosalie sneaking out of the building. They saw me and winked before scurrying away, laughing to themselves about something. I knocked on the door and once again it was answered by my beautiful Bella, but this time she was wearing sneakers, comfier-looking jeans, and a tight fitting brown t-shirt. She had on a jean jacket that cut off half way down her torso. Her hair looked similar to last night, but was pulled back in a head band. She looked just as stunning as ever.

"Ready to go?" I asked as I stepped forward, taking her hand in mine. She nodded and walked out of the building with me, slowly. Once we stepped outside, the smell of wet pavement hit me.

"Where are we going?" she asked. I started leading her and she pulled out her cane, but I grabbed it from her hands and put it into my back pocket. She stopped walking. "I thought I informed you last night that I needed that."

I chuckled. "You don't need that right now," I informed her, wrapping my arm around her waist and tucking her into my side. She gripped onto me like her support and began walking beside me. Every so often I'd warn her of a bump or something, but the sidewalks were just redone two months ago, so they were all very smooth.

When we got to the park, you could hear birds and smell the fresh scent of wet vegetation. "Where are we?" Bella asked, tilting her head to the side, listening to our surroundings. There was a fountain right in front of us, and birds were chirping. A few children were playing not too far away from us and a guy who was maybe just a few years older than we were ran past us, sweaty and breathing heavily.

"We're at the park," I told her, beginning to walk along the path, hardly registering previously that we'd stopped.

"Oh, that's the fountain over there, right?" she asked, pointing in its general direction.

"Yup." _Impressive._

I saw a large puddle in front of us and moved slightly to the side where the only dry spot was, then lifted Bella off the ground enough that her feet wouldn't touch the water. She squealed and her grip on me tightened. Once we were over it, I lowered her back down and kept us walking.

"What was that for?" she demanded.

"There was a puddle. I didn't want your feet to get wet," I replied.

She giggled. "That's ridiculous."

I shrugged, knowing she could feel it. "It makes perfect sense to me."

"So, we're just going for a walk in the park?" she asked, to clarify.

"Is that alright?" I inquired, worried that she wasn't happy with what I'd planned.

"No, Edward, it's actually wonderful. The day is pretty nice and it's good to get to walk outside. I was just wondering, that's all."

I chuckled, smiling as I squeezed my arm around her body a bit. She squealed again, and I just kept chuckling.

"Where do you want to eat?" I asked her as we walked.

"Don't know. Anywhere is fine, honestly. Well, anywhere except a place with Chinese food." She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

She looked so adorable. I tweaked her nose with my free hand and teased, "Have you got something against the people, or is it really just the food?"

She smacked my hand playfully. "It's the food. I don't like the smell, and the taste isn't all that pleasant in my opinion."

"Well, then it's a good thing I'm not much of a fan either," I replied.

She smiled softly. "I heard you playing last night and this morning," she said, changing the subject. "There was this one piece that I've never heard before. It was so tranquil, serene."

"I wrote it for my mother."

Her face lit up. "That's so sweet of you! And it's so beautiful, too. I swear, you're better than Mozart, or Beethoven, or Debussy."

I laughed, shaking my head. "Please, I'm really not that great. Saying that is insulting to those incredible composers."

"Are you kidding? I've never found a piece so relaxing. It was wonderful."

"Whatever you say, Bella," I replied, knowing we'd just have to agree to disagree on that one. We continued talking as we walked, meanwhile smiling all the way. I was so incredibly happy at the moment, and it scared me that Bella could do this to me. I knew that this was how things should be, when you find someone who means a lot to you, but what had me afraid right now was that I knew this already, and it was only our second date.

"You're very quiet," Bella said as we finally got to the nice little sandwich shop that I wanted to go to for lunch. It was new, having just opened up on Tuesday, but I'd been there the next day and they made a really great burger and fries.

"I'm just deep in thought," I told her, opening the door and guiding the both of us in.

"It smells like a grill in here," Bella informed me with a smile.

"That's because they make the best cheese burgers around."

"I haven't had a good cheese burger in a while."

"Is that so? Well then, I picked the perfect place." I grinned as we stepped into the short line. We ordered and, much to my displeasure, Bella handed over her credit card and then signed the slip where I told her to. We got our burgers just a few minutes later along with a plate of fries for me and a small bag of _Lays _for her, plus two bottles of water.

"You're right. This is incredible," she cried happily.

"I'm always right," I joked. "I had one the other day. They were to die for."

She laughed and took another bite. It was nice to enjoy a meal with a woman who ate more than half of a tiny salad, other than my mother or my sister.

When we each finished, both of us stealing fries or potato chips from the other, we got up, taking our water bottles with us once we'd tossed the rest. I wrapped my arm around her waist again and the both of us started walking back to the apartment building.

Once again, I walked with her up to her apartment. Standing at her door, pressing her against it, I kissed her. She responded instantly and our lips began moving in sync as if it was a practiced, choreographed dance that they'd known all along. I smiled into the kiss, my arms holding her close to me as her small arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me down to her, closer.

She moaned into my mouth, and I moaned back, but I knew that this was where it had to stop. Neither of us had deepened the kiss, but it was still, maybe, going too quickly. I slowed the kiss until finally I was doing nothing more than chastely pecking her lips. I pressed my forehead against hers and smiled, pressing one last kiss to her lips.

"Thank you for inviting me out today," Bella said, trying to catch her breath.

"It was my pleasure. Thank you for joining me."

"It was my pleasure."

I chuckled and slowly released her from my arms. Her arms fell from my neck and I put my smiling lips to her forehead.

"I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay," she said softly.

"Goodbye."

"Bye," she whispered.

I didn't want to go, but I knew I had to. I had homework to get done, homework that I really didn't want to do, because I had a paper to write for Music Theory and it was due Monday. I hadn't even started it, and it would very likely take a while to complete.

I sighed, watching as she fumbled for her key. I walked to my room and booted up my laptop which must have come back while I was out, the box having sat outside my door. It worked as well as it had when it was brand new, and I sat on my bed and began typing with a quick hand, wanting to get this finished as quickly as possible in the hopes that maybe I could see Bella again tomorrow.


	10. I Want To See Your Eyes

_a/n: so...this is a day late. I'm on vacation so cut me some slack. I'm in the most beautiful mountains (Beech Mountain, specifically) in North Carolina. It's my favorite place to be. I only barely have internet connection in one spot in the house; one wrong move and the signal is lost. These next few chapters were written the fastest of my chapters. Yay! Hope you'll enjoy. How many people here are athletes? I'm having a pretty difficult yet easy time getting back into playing after my injury. Easy because my strokes are great; Difficult because I've had to completely reconstruct my serve and it ain't an easy thing to do. I've been told I'm never allowed to play competitive tennis. Well, fuck you Mr. High-And-Mighty-Orthopedist-Man, because I'm doing it with specially designed serves and overheads that won't disrupt my shoudler. It's not going to be easy and my shoulder still hurts, but as long as I avoid overhead motions and hit side-arm motions with extra spin instead, then I'll be good. Yep. So, let's see...life has been pretty good. Unfortunately, I have to leave my heaven here in Beech Mountain tomorrow at about 6 AM for a 12 hour drive back to Jersey. Yipee! Back to intense tennis training and finally beginning to get ready for school. Hm, so I have a question for you all..._

_**How many of you would like me to update on Wednesday night?** **Grins as a very large number raise their hands** Really? So would all of you be willing to send me a review in exchange for this Wednesday update? **heads nod** Is that so? Well, in exchange for 25 reviews (that would put this story at 120 reviews), I will update with the next chapter on Wednesday night. And, from here on out, I will be updating with extra chapters midweek if I get 25 reviews after posting on my usual Friday/Saturday schedule! This is NOT a one time offer only, but please feel free to take advantage by submitting a review on Fanfiction (you know...pressing that little green button on the bottom of the screen...) and I promise to put these extra chapters up._

_xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_

**Edward's POV**

It'd been two weeks since the day at the park, and I knew Bella and I were dancing around the question of _what are we?_

I wanted her to be my girlfriend. I wanted her to be more than that, but it would be too much too quickly. Everything seemed to be going perfectly between us, and I knew I was falling for her, fast and hard. I'd begun to realize that Bella had been exactly what I'd always been looking for. Who could blame me for wanting her to be more than just that to me? But it was still too soon, and who knew how she felt about me? Like I said, we still didn't even give our relationship a name yet.

I was sitting with her on the couch, and we were listening to a CD as she sat on my lap, her head leaning on my shoulder. I bent my head down and kissed her lips, and she returned my gesture. I smiled against her pillow-like lips and pulled back, my left hand on her jean clad thigh, playing out the current song as if she were my piano, while my right arm was wrapped around her back and my right fingers tapped out the single strand of notes that made up the melody on her side.

She giggled as she nuzzled into the side of my neck, placing a kiss there.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. "Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

She sat up, facing me with shock written on her face. I continued to play out the tune, more out of nervousness than feeling the nice music flowing through me now. The 'o' which her mouth had formed turned to a smile as she nodded and crashed her lips to mine. How she could be so accurate in that action was beyond me.

Three days later, we were in the same position, but in a very heated make out session.

I held her to me, keeping her settled in my lap, as I kissed her harder than I had before. Her fingers wound into my hair and tugged lightly on it as I began moving us so that she was lying on her back on the couch and I was above her. My body pressed against her soft one and I brushed my tongue along her lower lip, taking it into my mouth and then releasing it as she opened her mouth to me. I let my tongue enter the wet cavern of her mouth and happily slid it along the surfaces within.

She moaned happily and I continued to explore, memorizing each plane as I went. I supported most of my weight on my forearms as I tried to keep from crushing her, but she continued to pull my body down to hers. I finally allowed more weight to be supported by her, as my arms began to shake. She took it as an advantage to pull all of my weight down upon her.

My tongue slid along hers as I too enjoyed the new found feeling of her body pressed so tightly to mine, but decided to flip us over so that it was her nonexistent weight that I had upon me and not the other way around. She didn't seem to mind at all as her hands began to roam down my chest. I felt one button being popped open and froze suddenly. I put my hands over hers, stopping her. She pulled her lips away, looking up at me, confusion written on her face. I pecked her lips three times, once again returning to what was chaste and safe, and carefully moved her off of me.

She sat there, confused, as I stood. "I need to go, Bella. I'll call you later, okay?"

She didn't reply as she just continued to look confused. I sighed, walking out of the apartment and upstairs to my own. As soon as I got inside, I took a seat on my couch and let my head fall forward into my hands, knowing that by just leaving like that, I had probably made the biggest mistake of my life.

**Bella's POV**

Did he not…_want _me? He'd been pressed up against me, and I could feel the bulge in his pants against my leg. Had I imagined that? I could feel the first tears slip down my cheek as I just sat there, confused. Over the short weeks we'd been together, he'd always stopped anything physical between us. Always. He must not have wanted me.

A sob broke free from my throat and I could feel the tears sliding down as I removed my glasses from my face and placed them on the table next to the couch. I turned so my face was in the pillow and let my tears come out as I reached for my phone and called Rose. She'd make me feel better. If Alice and Edward weren't related, I would have called Alice, too.

"Hello?"

"Rose," I sobbed.

"Oh, Bella, what's wrong?" she asked, panicking.

"I…I…and he…" I hiccupped. _Wow, an English major and all you can say is four words, two of them the same word, and that wasn't even a sentence._

"Sweetie, are you at home?"

"Mhm."

"I'll be over in a few minutes, alright?"

"'Kay," I replied, another sob breaking forth.

"Bella, is this about Edward?"

I sobbed again, much louder than before. "I…wanted to…but he…he just left." Rosalie would know what I was talking about. We'd had a discussion about it a few days ago. I told her I knew that I wanted to be with Edward, that I knew he was the right guy, at least for now. I was ready, and even if we didn't go all the way, I wanted to at least go _somewhere _beyond the point he'd always stopped us at.

_Is there something wrong with me?_

I shook my head at myself. Why did I even have to ask that? I knew that a lot was wrong with me. I was blind! That was a huge problem in and of itself!

He'd asked me to be his girlfriend just a few days ago, and then he doesn't want to do anything but kiss. We'd been together every free minute of the past two and a half weeks, and it was fucking scary as I realized that maybe he didn't really want me the way I wanted him. I sobbed harder, realizing that I was falling for him, hard and fast, and I knew I wouldn't be able to keep him.

I prayed that either the pillow muffled my cries well, or that Edward was not in his apartment, hearing me being weak.

It was taking Rosalie a long time to get here, and as my cries continued, I went to shower, hoping to get rid of the stupid tears that were still sliding down my face. I picked up my glasses, putting them back on and walked into my bathroom, stumbling and still crying silently. I swallowed hard as I turned the water on, not pulling back fast enough and getting sprayed with water. Perfect. Just. Fucking. Perfect.

I threw my clothes off haphazardly, my glasses sitting on the counter, and then I stood under the warm spray, letting the water fall down my face, when I heard my apartment door open.

**Edward's POV**

Someone was pounding on my door, and then I heard Rosalie's voice saying over the pounding, "Open the goddamn door Cullen or so help me I will _break_ _it_ _down!_"

I stood up and opened it, Rosalie's hand knocking me in the chest harshly.

"Ouch," I complained, rubbing the now sore spot.

"Take it like a man, Cullen," she spat icily. I sighed, closing the door behind her as she marched in angrily. She stood in the center of my living room, tapping the toe of her stilettos. "I'm waiting for an explanation of why I got a call from Bella during which she could hardly speak she was sobbing so hard."

I groaned loudly, falling down onto the couch again and returning to my position, my head in my hands. Her toe was still tapping. I could hear the shower running in Bella's apartment, and at least it was better than hearing her cry.

"I know she's been crying."

That just made Rosalie tap her shoe faster. "And you didn't do anything about it?"

I shook my head. "Rose, I just…I've never…I don't know if I can do that," I confessed.

"You were her first damn kiss. You would be her first in this too. It's not like she's going to compare. Now get your goddamn ass down there and at least apologize and make up with her."

I shook my head. "I want to be with her…that way. It's just, dammit, I'm afraid, okay? She means so much to me, she's the only girl I would ever want to be with…that way. I just, I don't know what's even stopping me." I stood, pinching the bridge of my nose, and began pacing. "She likes me for me, and that's so amazing and incredible and absolutely perfect. I think I love her, and I think she's that one for me, but I just don't want anything to change between us. It's all going so great! And I don't want to hurt her, either."

Rosalie seemed to soften, but still spoke firmly. "Things have already changed, Edward. The second you walked out of that apartment, things changed. And you're hurting her right now. Alice told me about Tanya." I growled, hearing that name. "And I know how hard this is for you, but you have to understand that Bella doesn't ever believe she's enough for anyone. She only reaches her own expectations in her mind, and she believes she falls short of everyone else's, where as, in truth, she far exceeds what we expect from her. But this, this probably just killed everything she's built up since the two of you got together.

"She only ever went out with a guy once before you, and that ended in the most deplorable manner ever. She's been afraid, and she's facing those fears to be with you. Please, just go to her. You don't have to do anything, but let her know you want her, that she shouldn't be afraid to be with you in any way."

I nodded my head, hearing her words and wiping away the one tear that fell from my eye. "Thanks, Rose."

"Anytime, Edward, although if I have to have _this _talk with you again, I will personally beat your ass through this floor."

"Gotcha."

The both of us walked out of the apartment and then Rosalie left while I opened the door to Bella's apartment. I walked in, hearing the shower still running. I walked through the living room and into Bella's bedroom which I'd only seen twice before, and then made my way into the bathroom. Her beautiful body was shaking behind the glass, fogged over by the steam.

My heart broke as I realized she was still crying, just silently now. I knew what I was going to do, because I knew it was right, that Bella was the right woman, and that I wanted this, right now.

I stripped off my shirt, jeans, boxers, socks, and shoes. Bella either couldn't hear me or was ignoring me, because she never turned toward me or said a word. I saw her glasses were on the counter, and smiled as I realized I might just get the chance to see those brown orbs which I'd only seen once before. I might just have two of my desires fulfilled.

I pulled open the door to the shower and Bella immediately covered herself.

"Rose, what the hell are you—"

But before she could finish that question, I was inside, the door was shut, and I had spun her around to face me, crashing my lips down on hers. She froze in my arms, unresponsive to the kiss. I pulled her closer to me, kissing her more firmly, holding her to me with my arms wrapped tightly around her waist. Finally, her lips began to loosen, moving along with mine in the way I knew they were meant to do.

I placed my hands up on her shoulders, sliding them down her arms slowly until I reached her small, delicate hands. I intertwined our fingers, and she gave my hand a squeeze as I pulled the both of them up to my neck. Releasing them, I returned to my previous position as her fingers wound into my hair. Her heated flesh was pressed against mine, and it was a sinful pleasure that I knew I would never be able to live without again.

Finally, she pulled back, covering herself once again as she turned her back to me. I looked at her adorable, perky ass that went well with the cute, perky breasts I'd gotten just a small peak of when we'd kissed.

"What are you doing here, Edward?" Bella asked me in a voice that broke my heart again.

"Bella, I want to be here…here with you. I'm so sorry. I had to leave. I don't want to hurt you, but it seems I'm doing a crappy job of not hurting you emotionally," I admitted and apologized as I reached to take her hand. The second my fingers touched hers, she flinched away. I was glad she couldn't see the hurt on my face at that point, and then I felt even guiltier than I already had for thinking that.

"You just walked out," she whispered.

"I'm afraid," I reluctantly admitted. "I've never been with anyone before. You weren't my first kiss, Bella, but you would be my first for everything else. I want you to be my first for everything else. I'm just…scared."

"You don't want me," she whispered, and I knew I wasn't supposed to hear that, but I did, and suddenly I felt angry.

I reached out and grabbed her hips, spinning her around and holding her against me despite her protests. She hid her face from me in her wet hair, and I brushed it back to see the lovely face of the woman I was falling for. "Do you feel that?" I asked her, knowing it was impossible not to.

I watched as that unique, deep red blush spread across her cheeks. "Yes," she mumbled.

I bent and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Bella, I want you so much it hurts, but I told you…I'm so afraid of doing something wrong, of hurting you, of changing things."

She finally looked up at me, her beautiful, deep brown chocolate eyes glowing as she looked into my face. It felt as though she could really see me at that moment. Then she smirked. "Change is inevitable, Edward, except from a vending machine."

I chuckled. Leave it to Bella to break this tension with a little joke. I leaned down and kissed her thoroughly, and she responded instantly this time. We continued to kiss under the steady stream of water in the shower, my hands moving lower with each moment that passed.

"Fuck," we both cursed at the same time as the previously hot water suddenly turned ice cold. I pushed the door opened and pulled us both out of the shower, nearly tripping backwards on the way out. I grabbed her towel off of the bar on the wall and dried her slowly, taking my time to massage her wet skin. The second I'd dried her face, she reached out toward the bathroom counter, feeling along it until she touched her glasses. Just as she was about to grab them, my hand shot out and took them.

"Hey!" she protested, scowling.

"Please, Bella," I begged.

She frowned, facing the floor and away from me. "I…Edward, I can't. I need them. My eyes…they aren't…normal."

I chuckled. "I saw them that first day I met you, and I was captured by them and their magnificence. I saw them in the shower, and I've never seen anything more beautiful if you didn't include the rest of your body. I love your eyes, Bella. Please, let me see them. I want to see them."

She shook her head, droplets spraying from her hair. During this mild argument, I'd begun to dry myself quickly, and was finally finished. I stood up and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her body against mine. She tucked her face into my bare chest, and I bent my head to her ear.

"Please, Bella," I begged again. "I want to see your eyes as I make love to you."


	11. As I Make Love To You

_a/n: let's see...well, this chapter would have gone up Wednesday, but _some_ people didn't see any reason to review. You were _nine_ reviews short of the 25 needed. NINE! Of course, you only needed to get to 110, sorry, I accidentally wrote 120. Oops. La la la la la. Anyway, the shoulder is doing better. I'll be able to continue to compete, so screw you Doctor Mercurio! Bitch. Manwhore. Hahahaha. I got told I can get my braces off! Finally! And the next day I broke off one of my brackets. Hehehe. I'm learning to play "My Immortal" on the piano. It's cool and works well for my voice. When I finish, I'm video taping it and posting it on my website with a link to it on my profile. I still have to do "Bella's Lullaby". Review if you want me to do it! It requires a lot of practice to get it perfect! **If we get to 121 reviews by Wednesday, I will give you all an update! That means only 20 reviews.** Five less than you needed for an update this week. _

_So, quick question...How many of you people have seen those Twilight Sweethearts at CVS?! How cool is that? Those little sugary Valentine's Day hearts with the words on them like "cutie" and stuff...well these say things like "Dazzle" **Squeals**_

_Reviews are as good as Twilight Sweethearts that say "Dazzle" so gimme something sweet, Cutie._

_xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_

_P.S. No, I'm not high._

**Edward's POV**

"I want to see your eyes as I make love to you."

She shivered against me, her arms tightening around me as I felt myself supporting more of her weight. I grinned at the reaction I'd elicited just by those words. I coaxed her head so that she was looking up at me once again, and ever so slowly, her eyelids fluttered open again.

"Beautiful," I whispered as the stunning confection-colored orbs captivated me.

My lips pressed to hers instantly, and I walked the both of us into her bedroom. I could feel the heat radiating off her face and neck and knew she was blushing furiously. I saw the beautiful picture of it instantly in my head and moaned, running my tongue along her lips as I lowered her back onto the bed.

I separated my lips from her mouth, but they never left her skin as we both breathed raggedly. I dragged them along her jaw, down her long neck, across her collar bones, and down to those perfect breasts. I wished, at that moment, that I knew exactly what I was doing, but I didn't. I kissed down in the valley between her breasts, my tongue darting out to lick the beads of sweat that were forming there.

She moaned, and I wanted nothing more in that moment than to hear that sound again. I kissed up one of her breasts and licked the dark pink nipple. She moaned again, and I grinned, pulling it into my mouth. She continued to moan as I licked and nipped, and I moved my mouth to the other breast, replacing my mouth with my hand on the one I'd already lavished. Her moaning grew louder this time as I massaged, licked, sucked, and nipped at the perfect skin. I decided that I had to be doing something right.

I moved my lips back to hers, kissing her thoroughly. I wanted her to get as much pleasure as possible before I got mine. I knew that the first time was rarely good for girls, especially if the guy came quickly, and looking at Bella, I knew I would come quickly.

My hand traveled from her breast, down her flat stomach, and to the place I was searching for. There was absolutely no hair there, which surprised me, but I said nothing as I continued. Her folds were wet beneath my finger tips.

"So wet," I mumbled against her lips as I delved my tongue into her open mouth. I ran my fingers along the slit, and she shivered beneath me.

"Edward, please," she whimpered.

"Please what?" I asked. I still didn't know what I was doing. I needed guidance, but I realized she probably couldn't offer it to me. She said nothing, and so I moved my fingers to her opening, sliding one inside, hoping it would be enjoyable for her. Her eyes popped open and the most beautiful mewl came from her lips, being captured by my mouth. I slowly pumped my finger in and out, then decided to add a second into her heat. Her walls were pressing against my fingers, and I wondered if I would even fit. I was well endowed, not that I was a prick about it.

I felt the walls contracting, and her moaning became loud. I moved my mouth from hers, kissing along her jaw as I listened to her cries of pleasure. I couldn't help the proud grin as I realized I'd done this to her. _Me!_

She shivered beneath me. "Oh Edward," she kept repeating until finally she settled. I licked her juices from my fingers, finding that it was yet another sinful pleasure I would never live without, the concentrated flavor of strawberries that I'd tasted on her lips, but so much more potent. I was going to move down her body, to taste the sweet nectar from its flower, when Bella's lips crashed to mine. When she pushed my head back, she whispered words that I wasn't going to make her repeat again. "Please, make love to me."

I nodded. "I'm so sorry," I whispered, knowing that it would certainly hurt, as I positioned myself. Alice told me about the pain from her first time (I beat my best friend's ass for that until Alice arrived home and ripped me off of him with her unbelievable psychic/pixie strength) and it was one of the biggest reasons that I had left when I did earlier this evening.

Guiding myself to her core, I entered her slowly, the heat engulfing me and already I was teetering on the edge. I'd gone eighteen years without this! I inched forward slowly, shaking with the effort it took to refrain from just pounding into her body. I pressed my lips against hers, hoping to distract her just a bit as I finally pushed past her barrier. She whimpered into my mouth, her brown eyes once again popping wide open as I watched her face.

I saw tears gather in her eyes and I held my entire body still except for my lips as I continued to try and distract her from the pain. It was a lot easier to keep from being rough with her, or even doing anything at all, knowing that it would only cause her pain. Her whimpering stopped quickly, however, and she reached up, wiping the tears from her eyes, before kissing me more harshly than she had. I continued to remain still, waiting for her permission to continue.

Her hips bucked upward, and I took that as the signal, withdrawing from her slowly and then pushing back into her body. I released a guttural groan at the feeling, and she moaned back in response. Her eyes stayed open, and I looked into them, taking strength from them as I pulled out once again.

More slowly this time, I began to reach that edge. She pulled her lips away from mine and blinked her eyes. "Edward," she moaned. "I…I think…I'm close…"

I moved my lips to her neck, sucking on the skin below her ear that I'd recently discovered was a highly sensitive point for her. "God, Edward," she moaned more loudly than she had any of the times before.

I could feel the same sensation, the same contracting around me as she had my fingers earlier. Her juices were being released around me, and I lost it then too.

"Shit…Bella…" Our sounds mixed together as the waves of pleasure heated my body more than it already had been.

I couldn't hold my weight up any longer, and collapsed down upon her. She ran her fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp, as I nuzzled her neck. I placed a kiss in the junction where her shoulder met her neck, then began kissing up to her jaw, and finally reaching her lips, taking in her strawberry taste, breathing in her freesia scent. And I knew, without a doubt, that I had completely fallen for Bella. This was it. She was it.

She continued toying with my hair, and finally I pulled out of her and lay on my back beside her. The both of us whimpered at the loss of contact, and I pulled her warm little body into my side, smiling softly at her.

She turned toward me, placing her hand on my shoulder and then slowly sliding it along my skin, up my neck, and to my cheek.

"Bella, what are you doing?" I asked curiously. Her delicious blush shot across her face as she quickly drew her hand back and buried her face in my shoulder.

"Nothing," she muttered, embarrassed. I frowned.

"Don't hide from me, Isabella," I said, turning on my side to mirror her position while I paid no attention to the fact that we were both just lying on top of her bed, naked. I pulled her face up so I could see it. "I'm just wondering."

She sighed sadly. "It's my way of seeing," she whispered, and I realized that she had been trying to see my face. I felt stupid for asking her, for making her embarrassed for such a perfect, sweet thing. "I wanted to see…to see if I made you happy…if you were smiling."

I found her hand on the mattress and brought it slowly to my face, placing her palm to my cheek, the way it had been before she retracted it. I leaned in and kissed her quickly, signaling for her to continue her actions, and smiled softly at her once again as I'd been. I watched her face as she slowly felt across my lips. Her expression changed into that warm, soft look that I loved.

I chuckled as she pulled back her hand after she was done, a goofy smile on her face. "You're amazing," I told her, leaning in to press another kiss to her lips.

"You're a god," she answered, seeking out my hand on the mattress and then intertwining our fingers once she had.

I realized that the room was dark now and I was feeling rather drowsy. Bella yawned, and I looked at her bedside clock, which read about 10 o'clock. We'd already had dinner before we'd been sitting on her couch, making out, so it wasn't as if hours had passed without my knowing, but a lot time had flown by without me acknowledging that fact.

I pulled the covers out from under the both of us and then covered us each up. Bella snuggled into me and I wrapped my arms around her waist, holding her tightly to me as I fell into unconsciousness, her sweet snores my lullaby.

**Bella's POV**

I could feel the warmth radiating off of his body, the strength of his well-muscled arms, and the rush of his breath against my cheek. I could also feel my bladder preparing to burst. I squirmed out of Edward's arms, being careful not to wake him. I wasn't sure what time it was, but it was a Saturday, so getting to class wasn't necessary, and I wanted him to sleep in. I slipped into the bathroom, ignoring my sore muscles as I recalled last night's events. It had begun in the living room, but it truthfully began in here.

I remembered how confused I was when I heard the shower door opening, wondering what the hell Rose was doing until I was spun around and kissed by Edward. I was frozen in shock, unable to respond, and at first I didn't want to either, still hurt, but he wouldn't give in. I let myself be taken over by the kiss, and was rewarded with one of the best kisses of my life.

Then I'd realized that it didn't matter how good the kiss was, I was still hurting, and I pulled back. He began telling me he'd been afraid, and I just didn't understand how he could be afraid of those things. I was sure he was making it up, but then he pulled me to him and asked me if I could feel the erection that was pressing into my stomach. I'd known he was huge from the times we would make out, but at that moment I realized just how big he was.

I couldn't deny that he wanted me anymore, and he continued to speak, repeating the same reasons, and I realized they were perfectly legitimate reasons when I wasn't thinking irrationally, and I could hear the sorrow in his voice as he tried to soothe me. I cracked a joke, and he chuckled, before kissing me once again. We were soaking wet as we kissed, and it was an unwelcome surprise when the cold water hit our overheated skin.

He dried me off, but wouldn't let me have my glasses. When he'd told me he wanted to see my eyes, that he loved my eyes, I still wanted my glasses, but the second he told me he wanted to see them as he made love to me, my glasses were the last thing on my mind.

And make love we did. Wow. I'd been missing out on a lot. I now understood why Emmett and Rosalie went at it like rabbits. To complete such an act with the person you loved – yes, I'd realized how very much I loved this incredible man somewhere in there as well – was just the most amazing feeling in the world. I didn't know what I would do if I could never have this with Edward again.

I felt so embarrassed when I, without thinking, went to 'see' Edward's face, but he seemed excited at the idea when I admitted what it was I'd been doing. He put my hand back to his face, kissed me, and I could feel the beautiful smile on his face. The one that I had put there. The one that was there because he had just made love with _me!_

We fell asleep together, and I'd dreamt of the day as if I'd started from the first track on a CD that I'd already listened to, going all the way through to the final track, when I awoke with the need to pee. I did my business and was about to look around the bathroom for my glasses, but I wasn't sure where Edward had moved them.

Feeling exposed in two ways, I decided to cover up at least in one manner. I felt around the ground in the bathroom where I'd tossed my clothes carelessly last night, but my fingers came upon Edward's shirt before anything else. Unable to help myself, I put it on and buttoned it up, letting his scent cloud around me as I took in the unique cologne that was only Edward. I found my panties, slipping those on too, and brushed my teeth before returning to my bedroom.

I pressed the button on my clock and it told me – a bit too loudly for my tastes as I worried about it waking Edward – that it was about 8 AM.

I realized that Rosalie had never shown last night as I had asked, and I wondered why. Maybe she'd run into Edward in the hallway just as he was returning, and he told her to leave so he could have his wicked way with me. I giggled, knowing _Edward the Super Gentleman_ would never, ever say something like that. It was just impossible for him to say something like that. Hell, I was even surprised _I_ could _think _that.

Slipping back into Edward's arms, I snuggled into his chest, listening to the light pitter-patter of the raindrops on my windows. His arms tightened around me and he breathed a contented sigh. It wasn't long before he stirred awake, and he bent to kiss me. I could feel his lips turn down into a frown, and then up into a smirk against my own.

"Are you wearing my shirt?" he asked me, teasing.

The heat flooded my cheeks as I nodded against his chest which shook slightly with his chuckles. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" he questioned. "Why would you be sorry? I think it's incredibly sexy."

I flushed; this time not in embarrassment, but at Edward's compliment. We cuddled in the bed for a while, Edward every so often placing a soft kiss on my forehead as I played with the silky locks that I was almost positive hung in every direction on his head. Suddenly, his stomach grumbled loudly, and the both of us began laughing.

"Time to feed Eddie," I sang, teasingly.

His arms squeezed my waist tightly as he nipped my lower lip. "Hmmm, I think Eddie wants something that you won't find in the kitchen." I was sure he was purposely trying to make me blush this time.

I smiled as he sucked my lip into his mouth, and when he released it, delved his tongue into mine. Of course, his stomach once again protested its lack of food.

"Fine, fine, I'll feed you, you stupid monster," Edward muttered to his stomach, making me giggle as I slipped out of my bed. My bare feet padded along the wood floor as I made my way to the kitchen, not bothering to wonder if Edward was following or not. I made it into the room successfully, the cold tiles attacking my poor toes.

I walked to the cabinet and pulled out two bagels, then to my fridge and searched for butter and cream cheese. I didn't know what he wanted on his bagel. I must have been distracted, caught in my mind, because I was surprised as his strong arms wrapped around my waist.

"Yum, bagels and cream cheese. My favorite breakfast," he said, kissing my neck quickly before settling his chin on my shoulder.

"What? You wouldn't rather eggs or bacon or something? At least a muffin with cinnamon-sugar crystals?" I teased him.

"Nope, I like my food sweet and simple," he replied, reaching around me. I was pretty sure he'd taken the butter knife I'd pulled out and was spreading cream cheese on one of the bagels. "What do you like on yours?"

I leaned back against his chest as I answered, "Usually apricot jelly, but I ran out a few days ago, so cream cheese would be great." I could feel the soft cotton of his boxers against the backs of my thighs.

"Plates?" he asked as the metal of the knife touched the granite counter top.

"Third cabinet from the left." He released me and moved to the cabinet, the plates clinking against each other as he pulled them out. They made a quiet clink against the countertop as well.

Seconds later, he was walking out of the room. Curious, I followed the sound of his foot steps, only to realize he was heading back to my bedroom.

We sat in my bed, eating our breakfast and talking, kissing and pecking and laughing and all around enjoying ourselves until suddenly Edward started coughing harshly. At first I thought he was choking, but I remembered he'd finished his breakfast about ten minutes before.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I asked, worried.

"We didn't use protection."

_Ooooooooo...Cliffie...Bet you guys want that update on Wednesday now...*Snickers*...What?...No!...I already told you! I'm. Not. High! xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_


	12. Things That Go Boo In The Night

_a/n: I promised you this on Wednesday, but since I got all of the reviews I needed by the time I logged into my email Monday morning, I decided I'd put this up early. Plus, I was just so excited, because I got a brand new Macbook Pro, and I've been using Dell all of my life. I've been trying to get my dad to order me this since March when I had the money to pay for one, but it wasn't until about a week ago that he finally called in the order. It's fucking INCREDIBLE! I mean really, have any of you ever used these things??? Holy crap. So, I've got another reason for posting this. A couple people have mentioned starting school by now (hahaha I still have two more weeks left before my school year starts...gotta love Jersey) and I thought you could all use a little pick me up. That and, well, I did sort of leave you all with a nasty little bugger of a cliff hanger. So, since you all have been so good, this is my present. **And, if I get 20 reviews then I will update again before Saturday!!** So, my pathetic excuse for a life. Hmmmm...well, I've gotten pretty far in "My Immortal" and it sounds beautiful. I started high school tennis on Monday and while I lost my first match (a two fucking hour match that started at 12:15 in the fucking hot hot summer sun), I did win my second match at a very nice 6.4 6.2 even with my shoulder injury. My serve is actually pretty awesome. It's fast as hell and has some crazy ass spin on it! I even aced my opponent today! Snaps for Jordi!_

_Things I own: two tennis racquets, a new Macbook Pro, a bag of Fritos, and a can of Sprite._

_Things I don't: the rights to Twilight and all of the amazing characters...including the fuckgasmic amazingness that is Edward Cullen._

**Edward's POV**

"We didn't use protection," I coughed out, gripped by fear, and to my surprise, Bella laughed as she tucked her head into my shoulder. I could feel the heat of her blush on my bare skin. "I don't think this is funny. At all."

She shook her head. "Sorry, sorry. I'm…I'm on the pill…irregular cycle," she admitted, embarrassed.

I sighed in relief, my rigid posture relaxing slightly after my scare. I mean, honestly, I'd only asked her to be my girlfriend a few days ago, and we'd been dating for only two and a half weeks. Not to mention the fact that we were both only 18. I was positive a baby wasn't in either of our plans at the moment. That, and well, then there was…

I put my arm around her shoulders and hugged her to me, kissing her forehead. I saw her glasses on the nightstand where I'd put them last night when I'd woken up after midnight. I'd picked them up off the ground in the bathroom, afraid one of us would step on them in the morning. I lifted them and placed them over Bella's eyes. I loved seeing the liquid brown, but I knew she felt uncomfortable without them.

She smiled broadly. "Thank you," she said softly.

I turned my head just slightly and pressed my lips to hers in a tender kiss. This was heaven, right here, right now.

And then the moment was ruined by the shrill cry of my cell phone. I groaned and stood, walking to the bathroom where my jeans were still on the floor, and grabbed the phone out of the pocket. Turning around, I made my way back to Bella who sat there in my black button up. Perfection.

"Hello," I answered. I pulled the covers back and slid under, wrapping my arm back around Bella's shoulder.

"Edward, where are you?" Alice screeched into the phone, making both Bella and I cringe.

"With Bella, why?"

"At her apartment?"

"Yeah."

And then Alice hung up on me. Not a second later did Bella try to squirm away from me saying, "Oh shit, she's coming." I didn't know how she knew, but before I could ask, the door to Bella's apartment flew open and Bella cringed at the sound it made. Was that left unlocked all night?

"Edward, Bella, where the hell—Oh!" Alice and Jasper stood in the doorway of the bedroom, Jasper chuckling and shaking his head, looking apologetic, while Alice had this face with a mix of surprise and a huge smile. Bella was trying to dig a hole in my shoulder as she buried her burning hot face, trying to hide from Alice.

"We'll come back later," Jasper said.

I shook my head, my cheeks burning as well. "Just close the door and let us get…dressed," I told him, though I was pretty sure Bella would not be enthusiastic about facing them in a few minutes.

When she heard the door shut, she muttered, "That wasn't embarrassing at all."

I chuckled and lifted her face, pressing my forehead against hers. "Just be glad it was Jasper and Alice, instead of Emmett and Rosalie. Rose may have been cheering, but I don't think Emmett would have been happy."

She giggled at that, and I kissed her nose before standing up and getting my jeans from the bathroom. I slipped them on and walked back over to Bella who was rummaging around in her drawers. I supposed Rose hadn't come by to set out her clothes last night.

"Do you need help? I mean, Rose usually picks your clothes and everything. I could go get Alice to…" I trailed off as Bella began shaking her head, laughing.

"I can pick out my own clothes. I always let Rose do it because it makes her feel like there's always something to do for me, that I'm not always as independent as I try to be. I may not know what color I'm wearing, but I'm really pretty good at grabbing my favorite pair of jeans and a comfortable shirt. I did it all last year while Rose and Emmett were here for college and I was still back in Forks." Just as she was saying this, she pulled out a long sleeved red and black striped shirt with a low neck and a pair of dark blue jeans. She moved over to her night stand and pulled out a bra and panty set that was attached by a small ribbon that must have been tied on by Rose.

She started walking toward the bathroom, but I stopped her and began to unbutton my shirt, watching as her creamy skin was revealed bit by bit. When I finally got to the bottom button, I slid it off her shoulders and pulled it on myself. She then walked away after that short, intimate moment toward the bathroom and got herself dressed. I buttoned up the shirt, thinking about baseball to calm my reaction to seeing her body, and walked, bare foot, to where Alice and Jasper were sitting in Bella's living room.

"Have a good night?" Alice asked cheerily.

I glared at her, but not too harshly, because I was in too good of a mood. "I did, thank you, though it wasn't without its challenges." I still felt like an idiot for some of the things that had happened last night.

"Did you hand over your V card?" she continued.

I rolled my eyes. "That doesn't concern you, dear sister."

"Hey Jazzy, I think my brother finally got laid," Alice whispered in his ear, but she said it loudly with the intention of me hearing.

"Grow up."

I walked back to Bella's room where she was struggling to brush a knot out of her hair. Chuckling, I removed the brush from her hands and carefully unknotted her hair. She smiled at me and then pulled her hair up into a pony tail high on her head. She'd gotten a pair of sneakers on while I was out with Alice and Jasper. I wrapped an arm around her waist.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," I apologized.

She shrugged. "I'll live. Were you supposed to go out with them?"

"We were all supposed to be meeting up with—"

"Bells, we're going out with Alice and—oh, hey Jasper, Short Stuff," Emmett shouted and then quieted to his more normal inside voice when he noticed the two people who were sitting on the couch.

"As Emmett and I were both about to tell you," I continued, chuckling, "we were all planning on going out to shop for the Halloween party Alice and Rose are throwing." I rolled my eyes. My sister threw a party every year for every holiday possible. She even threw a Thanksgiving Day party and a Saint Patrick's Day party. Some were more family oriented than hanging out with classmates, but she still threw them. Now she had a partner in crime. I bent down and picked up my shoes of the floor, taking a seat on the toilet to put them on as I spoke with her. "I get to spend another day with you!"

Bella giggled at my enthusiasm, shaking her head as she leaned back against the counter. I wrapped my arm around her waist when I was done and then pulled her into my side, walking with her out of the room and into the now populated living room. Jasper was sitting next to Alice on the couch, while Emmett was leaning against the wall, smirking knowingly, and Rose was sitting in the chair, winking at me.

At the door, I kissed Bella softly. "I'll be right back, okay? I'm just going to change really quickly."

And boy did I change quickly. I could wear my jeans a second time, because I always did that. There was no reason you couldn't wear a pair of jeans twice. I simply just changed my shirt and my socks, putting on a dark red polo. I went with my more comfortable sneakers, as opposed to my dress sneakers, because I knew I'd be walking around a good amount, and then grabbed my leather jacket, dropping my wallet, keys, and cell phone into the pocket. I locked my apartment door and then headed back downstairs to Bella's apartment.

Everyone was putting on their jackets and Alice was telling them the 'game plan'. I wrapped my arms around Bella from behind and placed my chin on her shoulder, trying to listen to Alice. She was wearing a black blazer and her side bangs were falling into her face over her glasses. I chuckled, pulling them back just a bit.

"Everyone got that?" Alice finally asked.

"Sure, sure," we all answered, not really having listened.

We all walked out and Bella gripped onto me, not even bothering to try using her cane, which did not escape my notice, nor did it Rosalie's and Emmett's, judging by their surprised faces. I kept my arm raveled tightly around her waist and hers was the same around mine as she leaned into me.

"There's a bump," I whispered to her as I noticed the upturned sidewalk while I walked to the parking lot with her. She probably knew the way all on her own, but I didn't want to risk any mishaps, especially not with Emmett watching. When we reached my car, I opened the door for her and helped her inside. I buckled her seat belt for her, making her laugh.

"I can do that all on my own as well, Edward Cullen."

I grinned, pecking her cheek. "I know, but I needed another excuse to touch you."

She smiled in return and I closed the door gently, knowing how sensitive her ears were to loud noises. I was the same way, but I was positive my hearing wasn't nearly as impeccable as hers. Starting the car, I spotted her hand seeking out mine and I took it happily as I pulled out of my space. She was rather quiet for a while, as though she had something on her mind.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I asked.

"What kind of car do you have?" She seemed embarrassed that she had to ask. I squeezed her hand softly.

"A Volvo," I answered as if the question were as normal as ever. She nodded, and then a smile spread across her lips.

"Is that what Emmett meant the other day about the 'mom car'?"

I chuckled. "Yeah, that's what he meant."

She was still very quiet the rest of the drive, and it was starting to bother me. If something was wrong, she would tell me, wouldn't she? Did it have to do with last night? Was she beginning to regret it?

"What would you like to be for Halloween?" I asked her as I walked with her into the costume store. She shrugged.

"It's not really a holiday I care much about," she admitted, and I looked over at her. Her lips were in a straight line, which had me even more worried.

I stopped walking, also halting Bella in the process. She looked up toward my face, tilting her head to the side. I could see her eyebrows furrowed just over top of the frames of her glasses. I pulled her against my chest in a firm hug and looked down at the beautiful, saddened, confused face of this incredible, strong woman.

"Bella, what's bothering you? Is this about last night? Has something changed since this morning? Is—"

She kept shaking her head and then leaned her face against my chest. I tucked her head beneath my chin as I held her. Emmett and Rosalie were approaching along with Alice and Jasper, all four of them looking worried. "I don't like Halloween. It's all about scaring the crap out of people and dressing up like people on TV or in movies or whatever. It's just a fucked up holiday if you can't see."

And that made so much sense to me that it wasn't even funny. People scare the shit out of little kids all of the time, but when you can't see and everything is already so much a surprise, someone jumping up into your face and screaming 'boo!' was probably a pretty horrible experience. And of course, then there's the fact that everything else surrounding this holiday has to do with _looking _like some person or animal or object.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. We don't have to dress up," I offered, kissing the top of her head before tucking her head beneath my chin once again. She shook her head against me.

"That's not in the spirit of the holiday," she muttered just as Emmett and Rosalie got to us, Alice and Jasper staying a few feet back.

"Bella, I have the best idea for your costume. And Edward can wear a costume that goes with it," Rose said in a motherly tone, rubbing a hand along Bella's back.

I smirked. Couples costumes. "You hear that, Bella? We get to be like all of those other tacky couples out there and match," I joked.

She giggled against my chest. "You're crazy, Edward," she muttered.

"And you still go ahead and have sex with him anyway," Emmett teased her, once again with that knowing smirk. If he knew, why wasn't he kicking my ass right now? I would kick my ass if I was him.

Bella giggled, kicking her foot out behind her and managing to connect with Emmett's shin.

"So you did lose it last night!" Alice chirped too loudly.

I groaned, moving my head so that I could hide my face in Bella's neck. I could see the delicious red blush on her skin. "Alice, you can't say that in front of Emmett. He's going to beat me up," I whined.

Bella was giggling still and I felt Emmett's hand pat my back, mumbling very, very quietly in my ear, "As long as she's happy, man, I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize it."

I knew Bella heard Emmett because she spoke a very soft, "Thank you," to him.

He laughed, tugging on her pony tail. "No problem, Squirt."

I supposed I understood, now, why Emmett wasn't pounding my face in, but I still would have pulled me into an alley somewhere and landed a few good punches.

"Now, let's go costume shopping!" Alice squealed as Jasper smiled at his girlfriend. My little sister's exuberance never failed to surprise me, and no matter how much Jasper was capable of calming her, the second anything related to shopping was involved, all was lost on the girl.

We entered the large shop, walls all painted black with costumes hanging on hooks covering the entire expanse of the walls. Alice and Rose scurried off while the other four of us hung back, relaxing. I refused to let go of Bella, and I was pretty sure she was happy to be held onto by me. At least, the smile on her face said she was.

"Emmett, I want to cook tonight," Bella said to her brother suddenly.

He looked pensive for a moment. "Why don't we just go out tonight, Bells?"

She shook her head. "I've been going out a lot lately. I don't know, I guess we could go out, but I want to cook dinner once this week. Oh, and I want to make some of my double dark chocolate chip cookies."

I could see Emmett's mouth watering at the thought of those cookies, and guessed that Bella was good with her baking. She'd told me that she loved to cook, something about this sensory overload: the sound of her music playing in the background, the smell of the food wafting through the kitchen, the taste of it as she tested it, the feeling of doing all of it with her hands. She was just able to stimulate every one of them.

She also told me she wished she didn't need someone to watch her so that she could do it.

"We'll cook dinner this week, Bella, if that's what you want," I offered, and Emmett looked thoughtful once again before smiling at me.

"I'd really appreciate that, man." Then he grinned. "Just be careful you don't have a heart attack, and try to keep her away from the knives."

Bella stuck her tongue out at him and Emmett just laughed at her and reached out, tapping her nose.

"Okay, here," Alice said, appearing out of nowhere and shoving two costume bags into my free hand. I looked at what she and Rosalie had selected and then looked at the both of them questioningly.

"Baseball uniforms?" I asked.

"You played varsity in high school, and it's Bella's favorite sport," Rose explained.

"It's your favorite sport?" I asked Bella, turning to look at her. I didn't even know she cared about sports. It was definitely a very visual experience.

"I'll show you why someday," she answered cryptically. "What's the costume look like?" I hadn't even gotten the chance to look at hers when Alice snatched it from my hands and Bella stepped out of my grasp. The three girls walked away as I looked at the white costume with red decal.

Emmett was chuckling to himself and Jasper and I stood there curiously. "What's so funny?" Jasper finally asked.

He shook his head. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try us."

"Like Bella said, we'll show you someday."

The girls continued to peruse the costumes, but I was pretty sure Bella was happy with the baseball costumes. Rosalie picked out an orange prison suit for Emmett and one of those playboy police officer costumes for herself. Alice picked out a playboy boot camp girl costume, and chose for Jasper an army man costume as well.

We spent the rest of the day walking around buying different decorations and music and so on. Basically, whatever Alice and Rosalie deemed necessary was purchased. We went out to lunch at some point in between, but I wasn't paying much attention. All I really cared about was being able to hold Bella in my arms and keep her away from the craziness that was Halloween, a holiday that didn't even mean anything to her.

A holiday that was only about three days away.


	13. Sharpies, JollyRanchers, & Text Messages

_so, I'm really sorry. this was supposed to come out last night. long story short, my neighbor's tree came down in our yard, and by tree i mean a big ass tree that's over five stories tall. came over their garage, all the way across our yard, brought down our power cords, internet, phone, and cable, and then went all the way to our garage. sucks ass, really, and i won't have my own internet or phone service until friday, so i had to get onto a friends internet connection. anyway, i hope that's a legit excuse. anyway, next chappie is here and i'll have their costumes up on my profile until i can put them on my website...hopefully. i'll try to at least get bella's up. ugh. fml. seriously FML. Please, review. We're shooting for 157 total reviews if you want an update by wednesday. that's only 20 reviews, and y'all can do it! i know you can! hope your weeks were all rocking. xoxo jordi brooke xoxo_

**Bella's POV**

"Ugh, I feel so exposed," I groaned, running my hands over my bare stomach. "Why did I agree to this again?"

"Because you look hot," Rose replied. "I mean, _really _hot. Your outfit is red and white, the gloves are sick and you're rocking the entire costume. The shirt cuts off just below the breast, but it's not as slutty as most shirts like that are because your boobs aren't falling out. The sleeves are red, and they go out to your elbows. The belt on your Capri baseball pants is red. You can also wear flat sneakers with the outfit, and you love baseball. Not to mention your man does too." I'd admit that the gloves were cool. They didn't have any fingers in them and just felt neat. I would have to get a real pair of them so I could wear them with an outfit or something.

I laughed, shaking my head. "Alice, was Edward really that good?"

"He was our high school's pitcher on the varsity team all four years, and believe me, the high school was a big one. That's talent."

I refused to let them do my eye makeup this time, because I was probably going to get scared out of my mind at least three times tonight and usually I tear up a little whenever I get really freaked out. I didn't want the makeup running down my face. They straightened my hair, and then pulled it up into a ponytail, slipping it through the back of the hat.

"Why doesn't he play baseball in college?"

"He doesn't want to. He's working on a double major in business and music with a minor in marketing. He wants to focus on school, not high school sports."

I cocked my head to the side, confused. "He only told me he was majoring in music."

Alice laughed. "That's what he tells everyone. He doesn't really care about the business part of it, but I think he's doing it because he wants to work in the music industry to earn his own money, and then do his own music on the side. It's his own music that matters, though."

"Oh, I guess that makes sense."

We were in Alice's room, getting ready for the party. Everyone else had already finished setting up her apartment and the guys were in the second, unused bedroom that had been converted into a sitting room/office sort of area getting ready. I heard one of them turn on the music just after the door to the apartment was opened.

We walked out of the room and immediately Edward's hand was on my back. He kissed the hollow of my throat, chuckling.

"You look sinful tonight, Bella." His hand was burning the skin on my back.

"Hold on! There's one final touch, and then Bella will be complete!" Alice declared. I heard her whisper something to Edward so quietly that even I couldn't make out the words, and then something was smacked into his hand. He moved and I could feel his breath tickling my stomach, which meant he was kneeling in front of me. I placed my hands on his shoulders, confused at what he was doing.

Something cool and moist touched my left hip, but I didn't flinch back, knowing that Alice would be annoyed if I messed up anything having to do with the costume she and Rose selected. It moved across my skin, and between the movement and the smell, I realized Edward was writing something on me with a Sharpie. When he was done, he blew across the skin, placed a kiss there, and then stood. I heard him cap the marker and then place it down on a table that must have been a few feet in front of me.

"What did you write?" I asked.

He chuckled. "I signed your hip and then put my baseball number beneath it."

"Dude, just give her a hickey! It's a much simpler way to mark her," Emmett exclaimed from somewhere across the room and I blushed as I leaned into Edward, smacking his chest as it shook with silent laughter. I was so thankful to my brother for being accepting of a physical relationship between Edward and I, though Rosalie admitted that she'd been working it into his head since my sophomore year of high school that some day I might choose to have sex, and that he had no say in the matter, especially considering his sexual appetite where he and Rose were concerned (those were Rose's words, not mine).

"Gladly," Edward replied and I felt his breath on my neck as his teeth grazed my skin.

"Behind closed doors, people," Alice chided, as Edward nipped, making me jump and squeak.

I'd never been fond of Halloween, ever. I hated trick or treating, because I would always slow Emmett and Rose down, and I hated getting crowded by all the other kids desperate for candy. I hated when I heard the old ladies or bored dads answering the door saying, "Well, don't you look like a scary little monster" or "You look like such a cute little princess" because I really didn't know what I looked like. It was always just so…wrong to me. It was all about appearance, and if I didn't want to look appealing to Edward lately, I would say 'to hell with it all' and forget about how I looked.

"Emmett, you're not going to sneak up on me," I said as I heard his relatively quiet breathing creeping up from behind me. Suddenly, he grabbed my sides harshly and I shrieked as he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I started pounding on his back as his laugh boomed loudly, my limbs flailing about. "Dammit, Em, put me the fuck down! Now! Gah! Jerk!"

He stopped and I felt another set of hands on my sides, lifting me off his shoulder, but of course I was just transferred onto another shoulder. Because these hands were relatively unfamiliar and the subtle sent of _Unforgivable _by Sean John was hitting my nose, I knew it was, without a doubt, Jasper. It was strange, because Jasper was generally shy with me, cautious, but I knew we were warming up to each other slowly. We'd hardly hung out, but last night Edward, Alice, Jasper, and I spent hours upon hours studying together for the same English exam, having the same professor. Alice and I were in the same English class, and Edward and Jasper were in the same class. Last night had been fun because we'd all had endless discussions over takeout and books. At one point, Alice asked me to show her how to read the Braille in my copy of the books, and I attempted it for five minutes until she decided she couldn't do it. Edward and Jasper had gone out to pick up ice cream at that point.

"Edward, save me!" I called out.

"Whatever you want, sweetheart," I heard him say, but I was getting dizzy because Jasper had been spinning around so I didn't know where in the room Edward was. I felt the more familiar hands on my waist lifting me and then my feet touched the ground. I went to step away, but swayed, and Edward decided to pick me up and hold me bridal style against his chest. I leaned my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"My hero," I spoke dreamily, kissing his cheek. I heard the shutter of a camera sounding, and then repeating four more times.

"What if I'm not the hero?" he whispered in my ear before capturing my lips. "What if I'm…the bad guy?" he asked against them. I smirked and nipped at his lips.

"Enough, you two. Gosh, I'm going to be sick," Alice muttered, but I could hear a smile in her voice. Rosalie was laughing and Jasper snickered. Emmett pulled Rosalie down into his lap as he fell loudly back on the couch, I think, and he laughed at her surprised squeak. Edward started walking and sat down in a chair, the arms meeting the backs of my calves and my shoulders.

"Wow, some party," I heard someone say as they entered. Soon, there were more and more voices, many more scents, and too much noise for my tastes. Edward and I mingled, somewhat, but mostly kept to ourselves. He had me pressed against a wall and we were both just making out for a while, hiding from everyone, but Alice smacked Edward in the back of the head with the inflatable bat that came with my costume and put an end to our fun as we were forced to join the party once again.

We mainly just stood around, holding onto each other, however, and swayed to the music. I sucked on a green apple flavored jolly rancher, the scent permeating the thick air of Alice's congested apartment. I could smell the cherry and grape jolly ranchers that Edward was consuming at the same time, claiming the flavors mixed well together. I wrinkled my nose at the combination, but commented no further on it. I leaned my head on Edward's chest as we stood facing each other.

"What number were you?" I asked.

"Pardon?" Edward asked.

"What was your high school baseball number?" I clarified. I'd been wondering since he'd written the digits on my skin.

"Oh, I was number nineteen," he replied, hugging me to him as he dropped his hand from the small of my back to the curve of my hip, directly where he'd written it. His thumb rubbed circles over the smooth skin now blemished by the ink, but I would happily wear his mark for the rest of eternity. It tickled, causing me to giggle, but was enticing as well, and my stomach muscles contracted beneath his touch, my body warming quickly in response. I tightened my grip on his neck, placing a kiss on his chest as I feared my knees giving out on me.

"Were you a starting pitcher?" I asked, hoping to distract myself.

"Mhm," he replied, preoccupied.

I lifted my face as though I was looking at him and placed my hands up on his cheeks. My thumbs brushed over his defined cheek bones and then traveled to his open lips, my fingers following. He breathed softly upon them and his own froze on my hip as he pecked my finger tips. I could feel the soft lips move beneath my fingers which I had many times been given the honor of kissing with my own.

There was something else I wondered, but I was too embarrassed to ask, so I simply savored our time together, even in the presence of others.

I brushed my lips across his twice before running my fingers over the backward baseball cap that covered his wild hair and settling my arms back around his neck. He resumed his movement of rubbing my skin where his mark sat.

"How much longer do you think we'll need to stay?" he asked me after awhile.

I shrugged, yawning. Alice and Rose had woken me earlier than I'd planned so we could all go ahead and do yoga in my living room.

"We should get you to bed, now. Both of us have class in the morning," Edward suggested, but I could hear his tone pleading with me to agree.

"What's up with Bella?" Jasper's voice questioned.

I yawned again, but it wasn't faked. Still, it helped punctuate Edward's next point. "She's really tired. Would you like to go home, sweetheart?" Edward asked me.

I nodded. "Kay."

"Bye, Jazz. Tell Rose and Alice we had a good time and let Emmett know I'll get her to her place safely."

"See ya tomorrow man. Goodbye, Bells."

"Bye, Jasper."

Edward turned me around and walked me, presumably, toward the door. I stumbled just as we got outside the door, but his strong arms immediately encased my waist. "Either you're a really good actress, or you're suddenly completely dead on your feet."

"I'm suddenly feeling the early morning wake up call," I answered softly. I was unexpectedly lifted off the ground and automatically, I wrapped my arms around Edward's neck, burrowing my head into his shoulder. I tried protesting, saying that I wasn't the average load to carry, but he would have none of that. Sighing happily, I closed my eyes tightly and drifted off in his arms.

When I woke up again, I was lying in a large t-shirt, tucked beneath sheets in the comfort of a bed. After a few moments, I realized it was mine, and that I was also alone. I hit the button on my clock and it informed me it was 7:22 AM. Obviously, that meant that my alarm would be going off in eight minutes. Feeling no reason to try to sleep for those eight extra minutes, I got up out of bed and realized I wasn't wearing my glasses.

"Where did you put them, Edward?" I wondered aloud.

"They're on your nightstand, Bella," Rosalie's voice replied.

I grabbed at my rapidly beating heart, my breathing heavy from fright. "Christ, Rosalie, you scared me." My eyes were wide open and I shut them, hiding them from the girl I considered my sister. I heard the disappointed sigh and then the movement of the drawers at my dresser. I reached over to my nightstand and felt them exactly where I usually put them. I _knew_ that man was perfect. Although, truth be told, he was too good for me.

Sighing, I stood and slipped them onto my eyes. "Bella, I don't understand why you won't let any of us see your eyes."

"I don't like them," I muttered.

"The other day, Emmett and Jasper were talking with Edward, and you know what he said to them?"

"What?"

"Emmett was saying that whatever he wanted from you, it had better be innocent, and Edward's only reply was that all he wanted, truly, was to see your eyes. Well, he admitted to two things, but I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be telling you the other."

I sighed. "Rose, when did he say that?"

"I don't know. Four or five days ago?"

I shrugged. "He's seen them. The…other night before we went Halloween shopping."

She laughed. "You mean the night you two had sex?"

I blushed, nodding. "Yeah, that night."

"Was it worth it?"

I laughed. "Was it worth it?" I fell back onto the bed, sighing happily. "Totally, _completely_ worth it."

"And letting him see your eyes? How did he convince you?"

I blushed, reaching up toward the top of the bed for a pillow. I couldn't reach so I scooted up higher until my finger tips touched one.

"Oh, this is good. He said something dirty, didn't he?"

I'd planned on using the pillow to cover my face, but then decided to use it to throw at Rosalie. I was pretty sure she caught it since I only heard make contact with anything once. I was definitely right, because seconds later, the pillow smacked me in the face. Rosalie smacked me with it lightly again. I giggled, putting my hands up in defense.

"Okay, okay. I give. Have mercy on the blind girl!"

"What did he say?" she asked, putting the pillow over my torso and pinning me back against the bed.

"He said, and I quote, _I want to see your eyes when I make love to you_."

"Ooooh, how romantic," Emmett cooed in a woman's voice. I turned red as Rose released me from my temporary prison.

I walked toward where I heard his voice and where his resonating laugh boomed, and when I was sure I was there, I pounded my fists on his chest. "Stupid, sneaky, big-ass brother."

"You bet I'm big, little sis. Hey, is Edward—"

"Don't even start Emmett Swan!" I cut him off, pushing him out of my room and shutting the door. I turned the lock before he could think about coming back in, but he was on the floor laughing, so I didn't expect him to try again soon.

I felt cloth being placed in my hands and I thanked Rosalie before walking to my bathroom to shower. I rubbed my fingers over my hip where his number and name still sat, wondering if they would wash away completely. If they did, maybe I would just ask Edward to write them again. It was stupid, but I loved having his name on me. It was like I was his, and in turn, he was mine.

When I was out of my shower, Emmett and Rosalie were mooching breakfast off of me, but Rosalie had already made a bagel for me with apricot jelly which she had picked up at the grocery store when we went Sunday.

Edward and I were planning on cooking tomorrow night.

I used my cane that morning, as I had for the past week, deciding that it was better to do so. I'd had a number of falls lately and was enjoying walking without it less and less.

I could hear Alice's tiny feet ahead of me, and I called out to her, smiling.

"Hey Bella!" she chirped.

I laughed as she hooked her arm around mine and we walked together. "The party was fun last night."

"Wasn't it? You left early though," she pouted.

I shook my head at her silliness. "I wasn't even in Edward's car before I fell asleep."

She giggled. "Did he carry you?" she teased.

I smirked. "He did."

"You two are disgustingly cute, you know that?"

"New relationship," I reminded her. I remembered Emmett and Rosalie's disgustingly cute stage. I also remembered when they hit that fighting/in-between stage. And worst of all, I remembered their 'turning into little sex fiends' stage.

"Yeah, honeymoon stage."

"We'll get over it eventually, if he wants to stay together that long."

I tacked on the last bit sadly. I wasn't sure how much longer Edward would be able to put up with my disability. It would clearly limit us in the activities we could partake in together and the relationship we could have. There were a lot of subjects he skirted around now, thinking they would bother me.

"Don't be silly Bella. My brother is ass over elbows for you," she replied.

I laughed. "Isn't the expression head over heels?"

I felt her shrug as my cane hit the door. "I like my expression better."

I laughed again. "So do I, Alice."

We went inside and made our way to our room, taking our usual seats in the back. I pulled out my tape recorder and listened intently to what the professor was talking about. I hadn't read the section the night before, so I removed the heavy book from my bag and found the page I'd had marked. I ran my fingers over the bumps, reading the words and mouthing them as I went. If I were home, I'd say them aloud, simply because it was easier, but for now this would have to do.

When class was over, we walked to our next class, English, for our exam. I was so ready to take it. Of course, the TA would be taking me into another room and giving me the exam verbally. For the essay, I would be given the same prompt and asked to give a thorough verbal response. I'd be given fifteen minutes to think it over before being required to speak. I didn't even need five minutes for it, however. I knew the story from top to bottom, considering I'd been reading it over and over since freshman year of high school, and was done long before any of the other students were.

I sat back in my usual seat and pulled out one of my text books, hoping to catch up on reading or get ahead. When Alice was finished, the both of us escaped and relaxed outside in the cool November air. I got a text message on my phone and found that odd, but asked Alice to read it.

"_Turn around_. Huh? What the hell kind of message is—oh!" she said, ending in surprise.

I heard the approaching footsteps and then felt the arms engulf me and my favorite lips descend upon mine. "Hello, sweetheart. Miss me?"

I smiled at him. "Very much."

He rubbed his nose against mine, _Eskimo kiss!_, before sitting next to me. Alice handed my phone back to me.

"What am I, chopped liver?" Alice asked.

"Would you like a kiss, too, Alice?" Edward offered, jokingly.

"Ew," we both muttered, thinking how wrong it would be if he kissed her the same way he had just kissed me. "No thanks," Alice added in disgust.

Deciding to continue a real conversation, I asked, "So, Alice, how do you think you did?"

"I think I did alright. It wasn't hard," she replied.

"I thought it was easy. And I have the added pressure of the TA knowing the answers to all of the questions as he asks them. I could hear his surprise when I answered questions right. It's like he thinks I'm stupid. Well, I showed him. Gah!" They both laughed.

"I would hate that," Alice told me. "I don't know how you do it."

I shrugged. "I haven't taken a test any other way."

We talked for a little while longer before Alice finally stood.

"I'm going to leave before I regurgitate my breakfast." As she walked away, she kept muttering, "So fucking cute."

I laughed and nuzzled into Edward's side. "Mmm, this is a lovely surprise," I told him.

He dropped a kiss on my head. I could hear his heart beating in his chest as my ear remained only inches from the living symbol of love.

"I was walking during my break between classes and saw you and Alice, so I decided to join you."

I turned my face up and pressed a kiss on his jaw.

"Where were you this morning?"

He chuckled nervously. "I wasn't sure if you wanted me to stay last night, and you weren't conscious enough to make the decision, so I went back to my apartment and got a few hours of sleep."

"Why only a few?" I asked, concerned.

He shrugged against me, wrapping his arms tighter around me, and pulled me into his lap on the bench we sat on. "I missed you."

I smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips, enjoying the taste. Edward pulled back, sighing. "I have to go to my next class. Come on." He helped me up, the both of us knowing our next classes were in the same building and, though his started a half hour earlier than mine, I wasn't sure where I was going from the bench I sat on. I had been hoping Alice would walk me there or that I could retrace my steps back to our last class.

I pulled out my cane when Edward snatched it from my hands and wrapped his arm tightly around my waist. I only stumbled once on the way, but felt safe and secure, as always, in the arms of my love.


	14. Colorfully Beautiful

_a/n: you will never understand my current frustration with life in general, but really I can't complain considering it's all so little compared to the problems people currently face in the world at this very moment, and much of my issues were due to my self-imposed procrastination. It is my last weekend before school officially begins and I do not spend it enjoying myself as I should, but reading for school and doing my summer homework that I left untouched since the day school was let out in June. Being that I'd like to maintain my 4.218 GPA, I'm not capable of just looking at my stack of work and simply saying "fuck you" as I did when I defied my doctor's orders of "no more competitive tennis...sorry to fuck up your life"...No, I have to, unfortunately, do all of this work on my last weekend of freedom before I begin the torment that will last me until late June once again. I'll be playing varsity again this year, moving up in the latter to being 5th on the team, as opposed to my 6th last year. I have a cool partner and great teammates and we should easily make our way to states! Our uniforms suck balls this year - why is it that we can't use the same ones as last year that, while they were all a size too small for each of us, looked so much better than baggy, dri-fit, two-sizes-too-big Nike t-shirts with a pathetic "Glen Ridge Tennis" embroidered in red lettering on the chest? Anyway, busy as a bumble bee, I also have to deal with the idiots better known as Verizon professionals who so kindly ignored our necessity for a home phone all week, and then on top of it all, skip the appointment we made with them for one of their employees to come out and reconnect the line. I have never thought it was so clearly apparent that a 15 year old can far exceed someone's intelligence as it was when my mom spoke to the woman at the telephone company stating, "We have no phone service, because a tree fell and snapped our telephone cables," and the operator she spoke with replied, "Would you like us to remove the tree?" I didn't think it could more painstakingly obvious that we wanted them to fix our phone lines, as the tree had been removed a full six days prior to this phone call. When my mom answered her, the woman then hung up, made three phone calls to different management officials, and then called my mother back (note we were all on our cell phones at this point, as we had been since last Saturday afternoon) asking if we had a dial tone. I stared outside at our phone lines, where two cables lay on the ground, completely snapped in half, while they had once stood proudly ten feet above my head. Morons. Then, of course, there is the insurance company of my neighbors (whose tree it was that decided to destroy all the electrical, cable, internet, and telephone wires, as well as all of our landscaping which had only finally been perfected, after years of adding more and more to our liking, just months ago and the gate of our always-has-been-there-in-good-condition fence) decided they would not pay us a single penny for any of the damages as it was an "act of nature". I am absolutely positive that such home insurance was bought for such occasions, and I have no understanding of why the fact that nature influenced the falling of the tree would mean that we should pay the 750 dollars that was required to pay for the electrician, alone, to repair our meter box which, might I add, would have killed my mother when it was ripped out of the wall with such extreme force had she not moved forward at the last moment. Ugh, FML. Rant. Over. You know the drill with reviews for a new chapter Wednesday._

_xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_

**Edward's POV**

As Emmett promised, Bella about gave me a heart attack when we were cooking. I'd walked in to see her cutting vegetables, a large knife in her hand as she whistled softly along with Beethoven's Symphony number 5. I swore I needed to have my heart restarted at the sight. Hell, I wouldn't have trusted anyone but a trained swordsman to handle the knife she was using. Bella was in no way incapable of doing things on her own without her sight, but certainly there were a few things that she shouldn't be doing without her sight intact.

Of course, she managed just fine, even having no trouble as she cooked the entire meal to perfection on the stove. I was amazed, but she claimed that she was just very well attuned to the smell at each stage of cooking. I just nodded dumbly at her, loving to see the joy written on her face as she danced around the kitchen gracefully and the stubbornness of her jaw whenever I offered to help her with something.

And the food was delicious. I told her that we would need to eat in at least two or three times a week now that I knew she could cook this well. She could give me a heart attack if this was what she was cooking. It wasn't as if ordering as much take out as I tended to wasn't already a heart attack in a pizza box.

We both worked together to make cookies, which currently sat on cooling racks on the kitchen counter, my mouth watering due to the heavenly scent.

We sat down on her couch afterward, me leaning against the arm with her between my legs, leaning back against my chest. I ran my hands up and down her arms as she continued to hum with the music. Her fingers ran along the tops of my thighs in a gentle manner, causing me to release a relaxed sigh.

"Edward?" Bella asked, getting my attention.

"Yes, Bella?"

She moved so she sat in my lap sideways and I turned so my back was against the couch. She tucked her head into my shoulder and removed her sunglasses for the first time of her own accord, folding them and tucking them into the neck of my shirt. She placed her hand on my chest as I could feel the heat of her face seeping through my shirt and I caught sight of the red blush on her cheeks. Her eyes were opened, so I pulled my head back just a little so I could look into them.

"Edward…what…what do you look like?" she inquired, her tone embarrassed and her face vulnerable.

The question caught me off guard as I blinked rapidly, wondering how I should answer that. She'd already 'seen' my face very thoroughly many times in the past week. Not knowing exactly in what sort of detail she wanted me to explain, I asked, "How would you like me to describe myself, love?"

She stopped breathing for a second before smiling softly. "Color, I suppose is most important. I can feel everything but the color. I've _seen_ everything but the color. I just...don't feel right not knowing what color eyes my boyfriend has or...well..." she admitted, trailing off at the end, completely embarrassed, it seemed.

"Alright, so color. Let's see…Alice says my hair is bronze, which it is. It's absolutely wild," I told her, causing her to giggle as she reached a hand up and ran it through my messy mop. Her fingers slid down my forehead to my eyes, and she slid her fingertips over my eyelids once I closed them. "My eyes are green."

"What color green?"

I thought about for a moment, trying to recall my reflection from this morning. "I suppose you'd say they're emerald." It's strange how little you truly pay attention to yourself. Her fingers dropped to my lips, brushing across them softly. "A very, very pale pinkish color, though with more of my skin tone mixed in." She nodded and brushed her fingers over my cheeks. "My skin is pretty pale, like yours."

"Do you have freckles?" she asked.

"Sometimes during the summer…if I've spent a lot of time in the sun."

Her hand returned to my chest and her head came up off my shoulder as she looked me in the eyes, as if she could really see me.

"Thank you."

"For what?" I asked her.

"For telling me."

I smiled, bringing her hand up off my chest and running her fingers over my lips so she could feel the expression. She tilted her head to side for a moment. "Is your smile crooked, Edward?"

I chuckled. "Just a bit." She laughed and pressed a kiss to my lips as she brushed her thumb over my cheek like she would do occasionally.

She paused her stroking for a moment before taking her other hand up and cupping my other cheek. "I truly love to do this," she whispered, running her fingers over my face as my eyes closed at the small electricity humming through my skin with her touch.

"This is heaven," I muttered incoherently, and she laughed, not stopping her movements. She continued for quite sometime as I held her to me, my breathing slow and easy. I was completely relaxed where I sat, so much so that I fell asleep not long later.

When I awoke, I could hear an unfamiliar voice nearby. I stood from the couch, stretching out the muscles which seemed to be locked in place. Scratching the itchy point on the side of my lower back, I walked in the direction of the voice. It was obvious it was coming from Bella's bedroom, and sure enough, she sat in the middle of her bed, her arms folded behind her head as she stared at the ceiling.

There was a tape recorder resting on her chest as she breathed evenly, mouthing the words that were being said as though it would help her memorize. She reached up and pulled the sunglasses off of her eyes which she must have replaced since earlier, and folded them up, setting them on the night stand beside her.

"Are you going to just stand there or are you going to come lay with me?" she asked, smirking as she shut off the tape recorder – I'd realized it was one of her teacher's lectures from earlier – and placed it on the nightstand beside her glasses before turning her face toward me and unleashing those pouty brown eyes upon me, full force.

I walked forward without even willing my legs to propel me, as though she'd hypnotized me into following her every command without my consent, and laid beside her on the bed. The both of us sat up on our sides and she placed a chaste peck on my lips in greeting.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked, her lips twitching in amusement at the stupor I seemed to be in.

I nodded dumbly.

She laughed before moving closer to me, snuggling her head into my shoulder as my arm draped itself over her waist.

"This…" she whispered to me. "This is my heaven."

At about eleven, once she had fallen asleep and I was about half way there, I left her apartment. I knew I was welcome to stay for the night, but I had an earlier morning than she did and would rather that she slept the extra hour or so than that she would wake with me, only to not fall back to sleep again before she should need to be awake to prepare for classes.

In the past week, I'd found it increasingly more difficult to fall asleep when Bella wasn't with me. Now knowing what it was like to hold her in my arms as I fell into unconsciousness made falling asleep without her beside me feel as lonely as ever. I ached to return to her bedroom, but eventually I fell back asleep once more.

In the morning, I awoke about a half hour earlier than I had hoped for. My shower was faster than usual and I plowed through my breakfast at a steady pace, putting me ahead of my schedule entirely. Deciding that I had the time to spare, I picked up my cell phone and dialed my mother and father. It was two hours later in Chicago, and I had no doubts that they would indeed be awake at this hour.

"Hello Edward," my mother answered happily.

"Hey, Mom. How are you this morning?"

"I'm fine, dear. How is school?" I could hear things clanging in the background, so I assumed she was putting dishes away from the dish washer. She had maids to do that, of course, but it was nice to know that my mom wasn't quite so stuck up that she was above doing household chores every now and again.

"School is going well. It's school," I answered with a chuckle. "My classes aren't as challenging as I'd hoped, but they at least allow me the free time to spend with my friends."

I could hear her excitement on the other end as she asked, "And Bella? How is she doing, Edward?"

"She's doing amazingly well. I'm sure Alice has informed you recently how she and I are doing." I laughed as I recalled the way my mother and Alice gossiped about me back in Chicago. Alice was like her own undercover spy in regards to me. She was Mom's informant, and kept Mom in the loop no matter how out of loop I wished she might have been. There were some things you just never wanted your mom to know about.

"Alice did mention a few things yesterday when we spoke."

I grinned. "She really is incredible, Mom. I've never met anyone like her. Her outlook on life and the challenges she's overcome are just astounding. I can't get enough time with her in a day," I gushed giddily before I could stop myself.

"You love her," my mother squealed.

"Is it that obvious?" I asked, almost positive it was.

"Tell me more about her…"

And I spent the next ten minutes telling my mother about how smart Bella was and how kind Bella was and how…well, you get the picture. It never crossed my mind to mention Bella's impairment, and I hadn't realized that I neglected to include that fact until I was well into my morning classes. I supposed there was no need to worry about it, however, considering Alice had probably informed Mom already. Like I said, she was Mom's spy. She told Mom _everything_.

After I got back to my apartment from classes, I called Bella's cell phone.

"Hey, sweetheart," I greeted her when she answered.

She hummed. "Hello, Edward. How were your classes?"

I was having difficulty hearing her over the noise in the background, not to mention the signal wasn't terrific.

"Bella, where are you?" I asked.

"Alice, Rosalie, and I are at the mall. It's Rose's birthday tomorrow and this is our present to her," she answered. She said something more, but I couldn't understand it because the phone kept cutting out.

"What was that, love?"

She tried replying again, but still I couldn't understand.

I sighed. "I'll speak with you later tonight when that evil little device you're talking into is being kinder."

I heard a small giggle before the phone completely cut out and the call was dropped, neither of us saying an actual goodbye.

I spent that night at my keyboard playing a lovely melody that came to mind.

**……………**

**Bella's POV**

The next few weeks were busy. Far busier than I'd expected them to be, though I supposed what made them seem so busy was the fact that when Edward was available, I was working on something, and then when I was finally around, he was assigned something new. It was as though our teachers were scheming to keep us apart.

Thanksgiving was next week, and I was torn. I wanted to go back to Forks with Emmett and Rose to see my mom and dad as well as Mister and Missus Hale. Alice and Jasper would be going to Forks to spend the holiday with the Hales. After all, it made sense for them to spend it with family, but Chicago was a bit far for just a short weekend. But Edward had no plans. If I went, he'd be left here alone. If I stayed, I wouldn't have a chance to see my parents for a little while.

In truth, there was a third option, which involved inviting Edward to join me. The problem was that it meant he would be meeting my parents. That was a major step in a relationship, if you asked me, and there was a step I wanted to take before the Parental Meet & Greet would happen. I wanted him to know how I felt about him, and I wanted to know how he felt about me.

I loved Edward with all of my heart, body, soul, and mind. It was frightening just how dark the world had been in the past few weeks when my light couldn't be around me.

I laughed sadly at my choice of metaphor. What did light and dark matter to me? All I knew was dark.

I sighed aloud as I fell back onto my couch and buried my face in my hands. I wanted to tell him those three simple words.

"I love you, Edward," I said aloud.

"See, it's that easy," I told myself.

I groaned. "God, I'm talking to myself."

So what was holding me back?

The fear he wouldn't return such an emotion. How could he love me? I was hardly worth his love. I couldn't even see his beautiful face. I had to ask him the color of his eyes, face, hair, skin… I had to ask him what his smile looked like. I didn't think I could be entirely independent. I'd likely always rely on Rosalie or Emmett, even if I hadn't so much the past weeks. As much as I sought to be my own person and do everything for myself, could I really?

How could he love a girl that couldn't tell him what color shirt she was wearing? Who might put on a yellow shirt with green shorts and purple socks?

How could he love a girl that couldn't look him in the eye for real? Who hid her eyes from him because she hated them? Because they were useless?

How could he love a girl that couldn't do something as simple as read the newspaper? Who couldn't do her laundry on her own? Who had to be supervised to cook her own meal?

How could he love a girl who couldn't see the world in front of her?

I heard a knock at my door and pulled my glasses down from where they sat atop my head, balancing them on my nose before answering the door.

"Hey, babe, what's with the sourpuss?"

I shrugged. "It's just been a long Friday, Alice," I answered vaguely, pulling my jacket on and opening up my cane, walking out alongside her and closing my apartment door.

How could he love a girl like me?

**……………**

I groaned as Alice shoved me toward a new store, squealing.

"Where are we going _now _Alice?"

She sighed in exasperation at my lack of enthusiasm for all things shopping. Really, you would have thought she'd understood I found no happiness in shopping when she dragged me to the mall last week, the week before that, and both weeks before that with Rosalie. Unfortunately, Rose wasn't here today to act as a buffer. Alice's sole purpose was sharply focused on me.

"Does it really matter to you where we are Bella?" she asked.

I shook my head.

"Then don't ask and just keep walking with me."

One of my hands was in hers while the other held my cane. She pulled me along at a speedier pace than I was comfortable with and smooth tile floor changed to carpet. I tried my best to avoid walking into any displays as Alice pulled between this one and that one until finally she stopped.

"Now _this _is perfect."

"I'm sure it is, Alice," I agreed with her on whatever 'it' was. One thing I'd learned since I met Alice: she was always right.

She pressed the hand she held into a soft material and I stopped my grumbling to really feel it. There was a smooth satin, and I could feel the knot where there was a bow tied from ribbon. My hand traveled further out, feeling the nice material of the dress between my fingers.

"It feels lovely," I admitted as I heard what I assumed was Alice searching for one in my size. She wouldn't have had me feel it had it not been for me.

She then began tugging me in another direction.

"How many?" a woman asked in a bored tone.

"Just one," Alice answered.

"Dressing room?" I asked Alice. She squeezed my hand as her answer before pulling me again. I heard a door open and then close again once we'd moved past it. Alice handed me the dress from earlier.

"Strip," she ordered. Now knowing the wrath of Alice – the one that you face should you ever deny a direct order – I immediately did as I was told. She helped me into the dress, the spaghetti straps falling on my shoulders and the neckline dipping to a low V. It fit snuggly in the waist but the skirt of if flowed. The hemline was uneven. It felt wonderful.

I spun around carefully so that I didn't trip. "How do I look?" I asked.

Five minutes later, we were walking out of the store, Alice carrying the bag as she led me again through the mall.

"I saw the perfect pair of heels in your closet to match these," she told me as she dragged me through the front doors of the mall and I was assaulted by the Seattle city air.

**………………**

I sat on my bed in the dress, buckling on the dangerously high platform peep toe sling backs. Alice said they were black, and I could feel the cool leather under my fingers as I worked the buckles closed. Alice said she needed to see the outfit completed before she could give it her stamp of approval.

Five minutes later, she was claiming she needed to do the hair and makeup too, because she was envisioning it and she wanted to see if it would work with the dress. I let her, because no one says no to Alice. I couldn't even stop her when she tried to do my eye makeup.

So, now Alice had walked out of my bedroom and was on the phone with Rosalie, telling her to come over, as I sat here with my hair curled loosely and my makeup done perfectly. It was all perfectly natural, according to Alice, and all light weight. I could smell the slight fragrance from my _Bella _perfume of _Renee _makeup products. She's put the diamond studs set in platinum into my ears. They were the ones Renee gave me for my birthday this year. She'd also made me put on the matching locket that Emmett and Rose had picked out for me for the same occasion.

I tapped the toe of my shoe on the floor, dying to put my sunglasses back on, but Alice had carried them out of my room with her.

"Okay, you can come in now," Alice said before the door opened and she walked down the hall.

I heard a different set of footsteps enter. They were ones that I knew very well and had missed very much.

_Alice, you sneaky little pixie…_


	15. Rose Petal Lullabies

_a/n: Alright. I started school this week. It sucks. Nothing better to say about it, really. Just flat out fucking sucks major balls. I also played my first tennis match of the season this week against Millburn. Bitches cheated. Over and over and over again. We even caught them and they kept cheating. Morons forgot they were playing on clay courts. Tennis ball leaves a mark. Idiots. Bitches. Hmph. One of them, later, said, "Yeah, like we needed to cheat. We could beat them without cheating, we're so much better." Yeah, well you should have proven it. Note that had they not cheated, we would have won the second set, and very likely the third with the momentum in our favor. Gah. Fucking bitches. On the bright side, we all got to watch their embarrassment as their coach ripped them both a new pair of assholes. *snickers* So, BOOO MILLBURN YOU SUCK! Fuck. You. Hmph. Okay, I'm done with that little bit. Anyways... Life is boring. I have no time for anything. I get up early for school, go to school, go to tennis, come home, shower, do homework, eat dinner, play piano, and then go to sleep. Rinse and repeat. Yep. Boooooorrrrrriiiiiiinnnnnggggg. Being a sophomore really sucks, too. I mean, you've already done your first year of high school, you can't really look forward to being a senior yet. You can't say you only have like another year left. At least juniors have already passed the half point mark. Yup. Being a sophomore is like being the clear gummy worm in the pack. You're just kinda there and boring. Ugh. Hmmm, so I'm going to complain about Comcast this week. My DVR doesn't work. So we went to the Comcast store place thing to get a new digital cable box, and the fucking line is going like all the way out the door from the counter and some eighty feet down the sidewalk. It was raining. FML. I had pep rally yesterday. Yeah, it sucked. Story of my life._

_The dress, shoes, and Edward's jacket in this chapter may or may not be posted on my website tonight. I'm not sure yet, seeing as my website doesn't to want to cooperate with me. Fucker. **If I get 15 reviews, that means 183 reviews (i think, i may have to check that...i'm pretty sure the review count is at 168 at the moment but i could be wrong...) then i will update sometime before Saturday. If not, then y'all with have to wait. BTW, you guys suck at giving me enough reviews for an early update so I'm offering a lower number hoping that maybe some of you have a kind heart for the poor little injured tennis player who got cheated out of her first match and most beautiful serve since the pain began. *gives an Alice pouting puppy face* Pweeeeaaaaassssse....**_

_xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_

_p.s. I still don't have DVR. _

**Edward's POV**

I walked into Bella's apartment once Alice had finished getting her ready. As Alice passed me in the hallway, she'd placed Bella's sunglasses in my hand.

"She looks amazing. Her jacket is on the couch. Good luck," Alice had whispered before disappearing to hell knows where.

I breathed in deeply. I'd need luck on my side tonight. I was nervous as fuck as I checked around Bella's apartment to be sure everything I'd set up earlier was in place. Alice had been a life saver, occupying Bella and getting her out of her apartment.

I rubbed my hands quickly on my black dress pants, feeling my palms becoming a bit sweaty. Just as I was about to step toward Bella's bedroom, the door opened to my beautiful goddess, the one I had the pleasure of calling my girlfriend.

She was wearing the most amazing blue dress with a black waist and a satin bow in the front. The hem was completely uneven and the skirt flowed around her knees in a gentle manner. The straps were delicately thin and the neck cut low in a V. Her mahogany hair flowed lovingly over her shoulders in loose, silky curls and her makeup was so natural that it was almost completely unnoticeable from across the room. It would have been impossible to see if I hadn't studied that perfect face for hours upon hours. Her shoes made her legs sinfully long, the black peep toe sling-backs shining in the little light produced by the lamp.

A smile slid onto her face and took my breath away as her brown eyes lit up in delight. I walked forward and pulled her flush against me, not even greeting her before crashing my lips upon hers. Before I could get carried away and put a halt to the evening I'd planned, I ended the kiss. Still holding her, I slid my lips along her jaw until I reached her ear.

"You look ravishing this evening, love."

She hummed her response as she tucked her blushing face into my neck and breathed, her hands, which had been previously gripping my shoulders, now rubbing soft little circles into the black leather bomber jacket I wore. She placed a quick kiss on the inside of my neck before she pulled back slightly and looked up at me.

I still had her glasses in my hand, so I reluctantly removed my arms from around her waist, unfolding the glasses and carefully sliding them into place on her face.

"Are we going out?" she asked me as I took her hand and led her to the couch, picking up her jacket. I turned her around and began to slide it onto her arms.

"We're going to dinner," I answered with a grin, kissing her quickly on the lips.

"Where?" she queried.

"Cascadia," I replied, picking up her apartment keys from the counter so that we would be able to lock the door. She reached to grab her cane off the counter as well, but I took her hand before she could do so. "Ready?" I asked her.

She nodded and we walked out of the door. I locked it behind me before putting the keys into my pocket and holding her tightly (those heels were most definitely a death sentence for her) as I led her out to my car. The drive was about twenty five minutes before we came upon the beautiful restaurant I'd found accidentally. We walked inside and both ignored the overly flirtatious hostess as she led us to our reserved table. Our seats were on opposite sides of the table, but I quickly remedied that as I pulled it around so I could sit beside Bella.

"Good evening, sir, ma'am, my name is Robin and I will be your server tonight," a man said in an accented English, standing on the other side of the table in the usual waiter attire. I assumed that English wasn't his first language, and his accent interested me a lot. I smiled at him and nodded in acknowledgement. "Can I get either of you anything to drink?" he asked us politely.

I squeezed Bella's hand. "May I please have a coke?" she asked sweetly.

He nodded. "And you, sir?"

"I'd like the same, thank you," I answered. He nodded again, not even bothering to write the order down. I supposed he had a good memory, or maybe it was hardly difficult to fill two drink orders.

"Your drinks will be out shortly."

He walked away after that and I pulled Bella's soft hand up to my lips. "I've hardly spoken with you lately. How are you?" I asked her.

She smiled. "Life has been busy the past few weeks. I'm much better now than I was just an hour ago."

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to hers in a lingering kiss before pulling back and placing a hand on her cheek. "Was Alice really that cruel to you?" I teased.

She laughed and squeezed my knee just as Robin returned to our table, placing our drinks in front of us. "Are you ready to order?" he asked.

I looked to Bella who shook her head no. We hadn't looked at the menu, so I would have easily assumed that we weren't ready.

"We haven't decided yet, I'm sorry."

"That is not a problem at all," he replied with a smile. "I will be back in about five minutes to see if you are ready then."

"Thank you."

I turned to Bella who was biting her lip. I immediately reached out and ran my thumb over her lower lip, causing her to release it from the clutches of her pearly white teeth. She sighed, her face reddening in embarrassment. "Edward, I can't read the menu."

I chuckled. "I know, love. What are you in the mood for?"

She pursed her lips, ducking her face down and hiding in her hair as she thought. "Is there any lamb?" she finally asked, uncomfortable with having to rely on me, I assumed.

I opened up the menu and looked to the entrees, happily reporting back to her, "Yes, there's lamb with asparagus and mashed potatoes."

"That would be perfect, then," she replied with a nod.

I quickly scanned over the menu and selected my dish just as Robin returned.

"I would like the lamb, medium rare, if I may?" Bella asked.

"And I would like the salmon, please."

Dinner was lovely, filled with conversation of the things we'd missed out on when we couldn't be together. The annoying girl that sat in front of her in her science class with the nasally voice that sounded like nails scratching across a chalkboard. The emo guy who worked in the practice room next to mine who pounded on the piano mercilessly as though he was out to cause the poor instrument vicious pain. Bella's surprise at how well she did on her Creative Writing project. My excitement with the new professor taking over my Music Theory class; he was well known for his amazing music composing and I was just dying to take a look into the mind of this musical genius. We ordered a delicious chocolate cake which we shared. It was too rich for either of us to eat on our own, but too tempting to pass up. Of course, once dessert began, the nerves which had settled during dinner hit me full force once again.

"Was the dinner to your satisfaction?" Robin asked as he brought the check to me.

"It was wonderful, thank you," Bella answered as I quickly signed it and paid, adding a generous tip for Robin. He'd been a good server, and it was rare to come across people like him in these days.

I helped Bella from her chair and slid her coat onto her arms before taking on my own, then wrapped my arm tightly around her waist as she wrapped hers around mine with an equal strength. Carefully, I led her out of the restaurant, making sure there was nothing in her way as she went forward.

It was a quiet, peaceful, clear night when we stepped out onto the sidewalk and I thanked my lucky stars that it was meant to remain that way all evening. The wind whipped past us and Bella shivered, nuzzling into my side even more than she'd already been. She fit perfectly against me as I walked her along the sidewalk, warning her of the bumps and turns along the way until we returned to my car. I opened her door for her, but she didn't get in, instead turning to face me as she pulled her sunglasses off for the first time in public and looked up at me through her lashes. She was clearly uncomfortable, and I was just so thankful as I knew this was for me. Beautiful, wonderful woman I love.

She grabbed me by the jacket and pulled me closer to her, leaning up and kissing me fiercely, to which I responded with equal fervor. Her tongue slid along my lower lip and I gasped, allowing her the chance to slip her delicious tongue into my mouth. It danced with mine as we stood there, too absorbed in the kiss to care until finally both our chests were burning from the lack of air. I was too weak to pull away, but Bella mustered her strength and drew back from me.

"Thank you so much for tonight. It was wonderful."

Catching my breath, I smiled crookedly at her. "You're very welcome, but tonight isn't over just yet."

She cocked her head to the side, her glasses still in her hand, before deciding just to sit in the car. I closed the door for her and got in, starting the car and driving back home. She closed her eyes and laid her head back on the headrest, clasping her hands around her glasses in her lap. I reached over and took one hand in mine, giving it a quick squeeze before returning my attention to the drive as our relaxed silence joined the electricity in the air.

When we got back to our building, I parked the car and held hands with her up to her apartment. She was capable of walking without her cane to go up there.

When we got to the door, I escorted her in and sat her on the couch, removing both her jacket and mine. I kissed her forehead, but when I moved away, her face was confused. I walked around and lit the scented Freesia candles I'd picked out. They reminded me of her scent, and I'd noticed that it was the perfume she wore often. When I helped her stand, taking her sunglasses out of her hand and putting them on her coffee table, I could smell the slightest fragrance of it in the air as I pressed a kiss to her lips, one hand in her hair, the other intertwined with hers.

After the short kiss, I led her over to my keyboard which I had set up while she and Alice were at the mall. Bella may have known her apartment inside and out by touch, but Alice had done an amazing job of making sure Bella touched nothing outside her bedroom.

I sat her down on the bench before the keyboard as her brows knitted together in confusion. I lifted the rose off of the keys and ran it over the back of her exposed shoulders then down her arm until it skimmed her fingers. Carefully, curiously, she took the flower between her fingers. She lifted it to her nose and inhaled with a small smile.

I took a seat beside her on the small bench and turned on the keyboard which she still hadn't notice until she heard the click of the buttons. And slowly I began to play her lullaby.

On my laptop, I had created an orchestral accompaniment which swelled in the beginning before becoming a filler as the piano solo took the main stage. The soft music caused Bella's smile to widen as she rested her head on my shoulder, listening intently to me play as she'd never heard me play directly before her. It'd always had to travel between the floor of my apartment and the ceiling of hers.

I watched as she twirled the rose delicately through the air along with the swells and falls in the music until finally I played the closing chord that hung in the air, almost incomplete as there was still so much more of our story left to tell, my fingers sliding from the keys of the keyboard as the sound faded away into silence, nothing audible but our breathing and our heartbeats.

"That was breathtaking, Edward," Bella whispered, turning her face toward mine. I shifted my body slightly so I faced her more clearly.

"It isn't quite as magnificent as the woman who inspired it," I responded.

She blinked rapidly when she heard my words, her mouth dropping open just a bit. "Did…Did you…"

"Yes, love, I wrote it just for you," I answered. Her eyes lit up as she leaned forward and kissed me passionately, more passionately than she had all night…and that was saying something. But then I recalled my plans. _It's now or never. _I slowed the kiss and pecked her twice before drawing back and taking her free hand in mine, cupping her cheek in my other. I caressed the soft flesh, a pink tint lingering below the milky skin.

"Bella, my world has become so much more meaningful since I met you. Everything about you is addicting to me, and I don't think it's the sort of addiction anyone could overcome. Your bravery is astounding as you face a world full of people with an advantage over you. Your beauty is like none other, real and true, natural and that of a goddess. Your heart and soul are pure and kind. Your intelligence is mind blowing and your personality has so many facets I have yet to observe and explore. When I look at you, my heart skips a beat. When I hear your voice, I can't imagine a more beautiful sound. When I feel your touch, electricity surges through my skin. Everything about you draws me in. Everything about you, Bella, makes me fall in love with you a little more each day." I leaned into her, pressing my forehead to hers. "I love you, Isabella."

She closed her eyes as her smile grew, then she opened them and looked me directly in the eye. She may have argued it wasn't true, but I swore that every time her eyes were upon me she could truly see me. I looked into those brown eyes and saw my love for her reflected back toward me. "Edward, I may not be able to give such a beautiful speech as you…or plan such an incredible evening as you have…but I can promise you that there isn't one thing about you that I don't love with all of my heart."

I closed the short distance between our lips in that moment, trying my best to portray the very love I'd just put into words. Her hands twisted into my hair, and I assumed the rose was all but forgotten by her as it sat on the floor. I slid one arm under her legs and the other behind her back, lifting her light weight off of the bench and carrying her into her bedroom.

I laid her on the bed, kicking off my shoes and socks quickly before leaning down and slowly removing each of her heels, brushing my hands against the skin of her foot as I did so. When I had placed them on the floor, I crawled up her body, hovering over her. She looked like an angel, her hair spread out in a halo on her pillow. I continued to looked down at her, resting my weight on one forearm while I slid my fingers over one strap of her dress on her shoulder. I slipped it off her shoulder and skimmed my lips across the skin. After a moment, I did the same with the other shoulder.

I felt Bella's hand on my face as it pulled me up toward her lips. I complied, kissing her lovingly as she ran her hands slowly up my arms, to my shoulders. They ghosted over my shirt toward the top button and unfastened it. Her shaking fingers moved to the next one, then the one after that, and the one after that. She struggled on the final button, but finally unbuttoned it. Her hands slid up my newly exposed chest and then brushed my shirt down my arms. I sat up and let it pool on the bed behind me.

Her hands ran along my chest as if memorizing every contour. I returned to the kiss I'd broken when I removed my shirt, cupping her face lovingly as I tilted her head for a better angle. I parted her lips and my tongue began to explore the strawberry flavored cavity. I pulled her shoulders up off the bed a bit, and, understanding my intentions, Bella sat up. I unzipped the back of her dress and slid it from beneath her hip then up and over her head. When I laid us both down and my chest came in contact with hers, I realized she hadn't been wearing a bra.

I moaned into her mouth at the same time as she did so into mine.

Her hands moved to my belt and undid it with steadier hands, then unzipped the dress pants and she pushed on the waist band a bit. I removed them, blushing as I recalled I hadn't put on boxers, but Bella's reaction was another moan.

I removed the black lace panties that kept me from my Promised Land, removing my lips from Bella's and kissing down her jaw, down her neck, shoulder, and to her perfect breast. Just as I began to suck on the erect nipple, she pulled my head back to hers and whispered, "Edward, I need you. Now."

Not hesitating for a moment, I gently slid into her warm core. We both groaned at the sensations that engulfed us. This was the first time we had been together since just before Alice's Halloween party.

I made love to Bella that night for the second time since we'd been together. And then I proved my love to her a second and third time that evening, just for good measure. We fell asleep wrapped up in each other's arms, whispering repeated 'I love you's with goofy grins painted on our faces and our skin flushed from our activities. She slept on my chest, her arms hugged around my neck as mine held her around the waist. I wasn't going to let her go, and it seemed she didn't plan to release me either before the night was over.

I hummed her lullaby in her ear as she breathed into the crook of neck, the warm air entering and leaving her lungs in a steady rhythm that soon lulled me into unconsciousness as well.

I fell asleep that night with the woman I loved, the woman who loved me, in my arms. That was the way I wanted it to be every night from here on out.


	16. Still Learning

_a/n: So, before I forget..._

_I believe I promised Belle10108 a time machine. So...here you go, specially order from Australia, so that it's not like all those other ones out there. Supposedly, everything's made in China theses days. :)_

_Life's busy. School sucks. My boyfriend's been sick. My dad's being an asshole (what else is new). My dog pissed on our french doors. My cousin Emily is having another baby girl. My cousin Pat is having another baby boy. I pray to god his son has more brains than he does, or our world will begin to become overpopulated with lovable idiots. Del Potro beat Federer! Amazing. I beat my dad today. Even more amazing...since I'm just so fucking beast. I won all three of my matches this week, winning two of them 6.1 6.0. Sweeeeeet. I've completely learned "My Immortal" by Evanescence and that song is absolutely beautiful, I must say. I found the funniest quote on MLIA. Great website. FML is awesome too. Check em out if you haven't already, lest you otherwise face my wrath for not looking it up. Again, you all suck at reviewing. Just letting you know that I'm feeling entirely unloved and looking into filing for divorce. I feel so unappreciated. I thought what we had was special. I've given you everything I've got, and all I get in return is 12 measly reviews. The sex isn't even mind blowing anymore! I think that...maybe...we just need a break. You can stay at the apartment, I'm going to stay over in my parent's basement for a while...do some thinking. It'll be good for us, I really think it will. It'll be hard, but it'll be worth it in the long run of things._

_*Snickers* Just joking about the divorce. You know I love you so very much. I couldn't ever bear to be away from you. My motherboard shatters at even thought of any physical distance. Okay, I'm done with the pathetic divorce joke._

_Anyway, I believe you'd all like to go and read on beyond my mindless psycho babble which, in my opinion, is stupidly amusing but you are all welcome to think otherwise. Shoot me a review and, should I feel up to it, I may or may not post. Depends on my mood. You know...did I win a tennis match (cough cough gonna Kick MKGay ass friday cough cough)?...etc. _

_xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_

**Edward's POV**

When I awoke, Bella was laying on my chest still, the same as she had been last night, and was humming her lullaby to herself. I rubbed circles into her lower back to notify her that I had woken up, but also because I needed to be feeling as much skin as possible.

"Good morning," she greeted cheerily, not turning her face toward me.

"Good morning, love. Sleep well?" I asked her.

She nodded against my skin. "Very well. I never realized how comfortable this could be." I squeezed my arms around her once in agreement. I was never happier than when I was keeping her this close to me. She reached around her back and removed one of my hands. At first I thought she was going to get up, but she simply took it to her lips and kissed the knuckles before lacing her fingers through mine. She rested our joined hands on my chest, just below her chin.

"Bella, look up at me," I requested. She turned her face up toward mine and smiled lovingly at me.

I lifted my head off the pillow and leaned toward her. Her eyes slid closed as her lips parted, expecting a kiss as she interpreted the movements she felt. Instead, I kissed each eye lid. When I pulled back, she sighed in disappointment, causing me to chuckle.

"It's time to get up," I told her.

She pouted. "Why?"

"Because I have to empty my bladder, and I don't think you want me doing that in your bed," I replied, laughing as she scrambled off of me.

I got up and walked to her bathroom, doing as I said I would before returning to her bedroom where she was pulling on some clothes. I frowned, wishing she wouldn't cover up her beautiful, perfect body.

"You should go to your apartment to get changed, Edward," she said, kissing me on the lips quickly.

"Why?" I asked, pouting. She slapped my chest in response to my mimicking her. I didn't know how she knew I was pouting. She couldn't see it.

"Because as much as I enjoy our...bedroom activities…" she began, blushing, "we can't just sit around in my bed nude all day."

She had thrown on a pair of yoga pants, a tank top, and a fitted zip-up hoodie. Seeing her chosen attire, I brushed my teeth, took a quick, three minute shower at my apartment, and dressed in a pair of track pants and a tight fitting t-shirt. When I returned to her apartment, I could hear her shower running. Looking around, I realized it would be a good idea to clean up. The candles had burned themselves out in the night and the rose was still abandoned on the floor beneath my keyboard. I carried my keyboard back upstairs quickly, being careful not to bump it into anything, then took the stand and the bench up as well. The candles could be left here for Bella.

Just as I picked up the rose and sat down on the couch, Bella's bedroom door opened to reveal her in the same outfit, but this time with no makeup on her face and her hair dripping wet. She danced out toward me, falling happily into my lap.

"You're too good at this," I commented.

"Too good at what?" she asked.

"Knowing exactly where I am. You always have such perfect accuracy."

She smiled sadly. "Lots of practice. If you can't see where anything is, you have to have an amazing memory and intense hearing."

I pursed my lips, wondering if I could ask the question I'd been wanting to in the past month. I had a right to know, especially if we were in a relationship where we claimed we loved each other, but I didn't want to upset her too much.

My curiosity won out.

"Love…what…what caused you to lose your eyesight?" I inquired nervously.

She placed a hand on my face as her dark brown eyes visibly dimmed. "I was wondering when you would ask that. You shouldn't be afraid to ask me, though, Edward." I turned my face further into her palm and kissed it. She rubbed her thumb over my cheek in a soothing manner, though I assumed it was more for her relaxation than my own. I wrapped my arms around her waist as she explained.

"My mom had only just given birth to Emmett four months before she was pregnant with me. She was on a few crazy diets to lose all of the weight she'd gained with Emmett. She was being photographed for big releases in her makeup line as she was really breaking into a whole new world.

"She didn't know she was pregnant, and she really didn't have any symptoms like she had with Emmett, not even much of a baby bump, so for the first six months of her pregnancy, she ate one small salad a day. Just like me, she was irregular and so she saw nothing out of the ordinary with her missed periods." Bella blushed in response to discussing that part of it.

"She had – and still possesses – a lot of money, which really does get you a lot further than you think. She stopped losing weight about four months into the pregnancy, so she maintained the same diet, but was this time on some pretty heavy duty diet pills. They were still in their clinical trials and they never ended up being FDA approved, either. One day, she passed out and was taken to the hospital where they ran blood test and informed Renee that she was pregnant. Needless to say, she immediately took better care of herself for my sake, but it was too late. Way too much damage had been done.

"In truth, I think I'm incredibly fortunate that the only harm that came to me was my blindness. There are just a few deformities in my eyes. I could have been incredibly malformed or retarded to the point where I would have to wear a diaper the rest of my life. In fact, I was lucky that Renee hadn't miscarried. The doctors said it was a miracle I'd even been born as healthy as I was.

"Anyway, that's why I'm blind." She shrugged and smiled softly at me. "I've been this way my whole life."

I placed my hand over top of hers on my cheek. "Have you ever considered surgery?"

She nodded. "But like I said, I've lived my whole life this way. The risk behind it is high and it'd be like entering an alternate universe at first. I don't even know if it'd be worth it, and my chances of seeing aren't as high as they could be. It's not something I'm ready for. Besides, my doctor says that the surgery would be more effective if I was much younger."

"Why didn't you get it when you were younger?" I asked.

"It didn't exist back then. It would still be the same, but it would just be more likely of having a permanent effect and the tissue and cells would grow together more properly."

"Oh."

Her thumb brushed over my cheek again before she leaned forward and pressed a kiss on my lips. "Do I get to ask a question now?"

I smiled. "You just did, but I suppose you could have another since I asked three."

"You know that all of us are going to Forks for Thanksgiving. Would you please join me?" she asked.

"Of course," I answered, hugging her to me tightly. As if I would let myself be separated from her if I had a choice in the matter.

"Are you sure? I mean, you'd be meeting my parents and we really wouldn't have much time to ourselves. We could stay here and—"

I chuckled, holding the rose up to her lips and shushing her. "You're ranting, love. Yes I'm sure."

"Kay." She leaned her head on my shoulder, plucking the flower out of my fingers. "You know…I love it when you call me that."

I looked at her in confusion. "Call you what?"

"When you call me 'love'."

I thought over my sentence for a moment and realized that I had, indeed, called her that. As I thought over our entire morning, I realized it also hadn't been the first time. "It isn't even intentional," I mumbled, laughing. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, I spoke up. "So, what's Forks like?"

She pursed her lips before answering, "Wet."

I chuckled again and kissed her lips. "I know that already. I was hopping for a little more detail."

"Hmmm…okay, well…it's this hick town with one of the smallest populations in the area. It's the logging capital of the US and most people have never heard of it. Everyone in the town knows everyone else and there is no such thing as a secret. They gossip like we breathe air. I don't really have any friends back in Forks, just Emmett and Rosalie. The only other person who I willingly spoke to was Angela, and it was mainly because I was lonely in my senior year with Em and Rose gone. Angela is probably one of the only good girls in town. She's the reverend's daughter and her boyfriend is really sweet, too."

"Should I be jealous of this boyfriend of hers?" I teased.

Bella shook her head in my shoulder, keeping serious as she answered my question anyway, though she clearly knew I wasn't being serious. "No, you shouldn't. When I was a junior, I went out on a date. It was my first date ever and with a kid my age who had just made Varsity soccer. I was excited, thinking it was so cool that I would be dating _the_ Mike Newton. Most of the girls at school wanted to date him, especially all of the popular girls. It was awkward the entire time, and then when he should have been driving me home, he parked the car somewhere. I wasn't sure back when it was happening, but I later found out that it was the school parking lot.

"He tried to kiss me, but I didn't want him to. When I backed away, he just kept leaning into me. Finally, I found the door handle and pushed the door open, falling out backward onto the pavement. He shouted what seemed like randomly that I wouldn't 'give it up' to him just so that he could be on the team. His captains told him that if he wanted to do anything on Varsity soccer, then he had to 'bed the blind girl'. That was exactly how Ben, Angela's boyfriend, had explained it to Emmett. No one but Ben did anything to help me. He hadn't been comfortable with the situation in the first place, and decided to quit the team because he was so disgusted, even though he had a pretty bright future in sports.

"I hadn't been on a date with any guy after Mike…well, until I met you." My fist had been clenched the second she mentioned that Mike guy, and I had all but dug my nails into my skin as her story went on, but then she lifted her face toward mine and her eyes lined up with mine from under her dark lashes, causing me to soften as she spoke that final addition.

I kissed her forehead, smiling against her skin. "I haven't had the greatest dating history, but nothing like that."

"Hmmm, tell me about your dating history."

I realized it had never been anything we'd spoken about in the past, and quickly went through different pieces of stories in my head before beginning to speak.

"I've dated a lot of girls, but usually the relationships didn't last longer than two weeks. I was always looking for that person I could be with forever, that girl I could love, but all I ever seemed to find were those self-involved princesses who wanted a nice piece of arm candy. They looked at me and thought that I was a prize, and I'm not. I'm a person just like they all were. Well, not just like all of them. I actually have feelings and morals…and a personality." I chuckled, recalling some of those girls. "And a brain."

"Anyway, not many of them lasted too long because of it. The ones that did last longer were the ones who were willing to stick it out thinking that they would get what they wanted: my money, my devotion, and sex. I wasn't giving those up to those girls.

"Then I started dating Tanya at the start of my senior year. She did well in hiding her lack of personality, morals, and feelings. She had a brain. She was in all advanced classes, just like I was, and was a very talented singer. She was also the most skilled manipulator I've ever met, the greatest actress alive, and the biggest partier in the high school. She kept me locked in her claws for months and had my entire family and I convinced she was Little Miss Perfect Girl Next Door." I chuckled humorlessly. "She usually tried to get me drunk whenever we went to parties, but I refused to drink. One time, she stuck a roofie in my soda and I was glad I'd only had half a sip before some moron bumped into me and I spilled it.

"She was desperate to get me into bed, for some reason." Bella's hands began playing with my hair and I realized my fists were clenched again. I opened them and continued. "Finally, one day she came over to my house and pranced up to my room with the biggest smile on her face. She greeted me, and then promptly announced directly afterward that we were having a baby." Bella gasped.

"I thought she was joking, but she honestly thought I'd gotten her pregnant. When I told her to take a test and prove to me that she was even pregnant. We'd never had sex, but sometimes she would be so drunk that she'd forget what had happened that night. She often claimed we'd been intimate, even if I hadn't even seen her that night. And she was pregnant. Turned out she was sleeping with the entire baseball team, include my three good friends Felix, James, and Demetri." Bella gasped again and mumbled an 'I'm sorry' to me.

"It's not your fault, love. I'm just glad I found you. You're what I've been searching for all of this time." I pressed my lips to hers and made sure she understood that I was all hers.

**Bella's POV**

We continued to talk about various subjects, most of which were less serious than our previous ones. There was still a lot to talk about between us, but we'd had enough discussion about these sorts of things already today.

It wasn't long before Rosalie showed up with Emmett in tow.

"Evenin' sis," Emmett greeted as the couch shook with his sudden added weight. I shifted in Edward's lap so my face was in his neck. I didn't have my glasses on and suddenly felt uncomfortable because that, though it only led to me feeling guilty that I wasn't even comfortable with my own brother and sister enough for them to see my eyes. Edward leaned forward and then sat back in the sofa. In the next moment, I felt him lifting my head so he could put my glasses on my eyes. I thanked him quickly with a kiss.

And just like every other time I did this, Emmett and Rosalie released disappointed sighs. I frowned and felt even guiltier than before, but ignored that otherwise.

Emmett took the remote off of the table and turned on the TV to ESPN, keeping the volume low so that it provided an interesting background to any conversation we would have.

"How was your night, Bella?" Rose asked me. I heard her sit just a bit further from me than Emmett had, and so I assumed that she was seated on the arm rest of the couch.

"Wonderful," I answered grinning.

I hadn't noticed Alice's or Jasper's footsteps as they moved down the hall until they were just outside they door. Alice invited herself in, just as Rose and Emmett always did, and Jasper followed her.

"It should have been. Edward spent a good week planning it," Alice answered, walking over and kissing her brother on the cheek. I grinned as Edward buried his face into my shoulder, the skin overheated from his blush.

"You're such a loser, Eddie," Emmett teased.

"Awww, but it was so romantic," I pouted in Emmett's direction. He laughed loudly in response.

"What did he plan?" Rose asked as if it was just us girls, or maybe just as if it were only Edward in the room. Emmett and Jasper were clearly whipped and would sit in on girl talk if their respective girlfriends asked them to.

I shook my head at Rose. "I will not gush about my night with Edward…not in front of him, at least," I replied as Alice and Rose laughed.

"Aw, please Bells?" Em begged in a girly voice.

I shook my head and stuck my tongue out at him.

Edward's arms squeezed me as I leaned into, his chest rumbling a bit as he laughed. I didn't know whether it was Emmett's voice or my immature response.

"So, Edward's coming for Thanksgiving, Rose," I told her, hoping to change the subject, but also wanting to let her know.

"Finally. I was beginning to think I'd actually have to call my mom and tell her he wasn't coming," she replied, relieved.

Everyone else laughed at that as I blushed. "Shut up."

All of us started telling different stories from Thanksgivings Past, and it seemed we had hours of stories between Alice's failed attempts at helping her mother in the kitchen every year and Emmett stupidity in hiding Crayons in the turkey at age six.

Someone else in the building, probably from two floors above us, turned on their music at a pretty loud decibel, annoying the hell out of me immediately as the song completely failed, and then I realized it was actually that person playing in a band because of all the mistakes and constant restarting. Meanwhile, conversation had flowed on as I stopped paying attention.

People with sight always complained, it seemed, if something appeared 'ugly' or 'disgusting', but no one said they _had _to look. But I couldn't just stop _hearing _that racket. I groaned as I covered my ears, pushed my face into Edward's neck as he rubbed circles into my back. He'd been saying something before, but had stopped immediately when I groaned. The apartment was filled with confused silence and terrible heavy metal rock.

Edward was the first to realize what was wrong. "That 'music' is bothering you, isn't it?"

I nodded. "Emmett, go make them shut up," I told him, though I wasn't really being serious.

Besides, I could hear Mister Johnson upstairs banging his cane on either the floor or ceiling shouting, "Turn the music down, you lousy kids!"

"Your wish, little sister, is my command," Emmett answered me, his weight leaving the couch as he cracked his knuckles obnoxiously.

"Emmett, sit down," Rose, Alice, and I ordered at the same time.

"It's starting to annoy me, too," Edward commented. "I'm going to call our super and see if he'll shut them up."

"No, don't worry about it. I'll call down." I stood from his lap and walked to the counter where I'd left my phone this morning, dialing the number of the super.

"We're taking care of it," he snapped without so much as a greeting.

_Seems like I'm not the only who called, _I thought to myself.

"Thank you," I replied politely before hanging up just as rudely as he'd answered.

I walked back over to the couch, just having walked passed Alice and Jasper when my feet hit something. I wasn't prepared for it and I stumbled, hitting the floor and banging my head against the corner of the coffee table.

Edward was helping me and making sure I was okay before I had even registered what had happened.

"Are you okay, Bella?" he asked frantically as he knelt beside me, pulling me nearer him, running his hands over my head, inspecting the now sore area.

I nodded, but winced. "Yeah, fine…my head's just throbbing a teensy bit."

"Are you sure? Do want ice or something? Aspirin?"

"Edward, really I'm—"

"What the hell Alice?! You can't just leave shit on the floor like that! She's going to trip over it!" Emmett shouted at her, and as I reached out, I realized I'd tripped over her shoes on the floor.

"Really, Emmett, I'm o—" I tried to protest, but he ignored me and continued.

"She could have really hurt herself! Believe me! I'd know! I've always been the one with her at the ER!"

"Em, baby, really, Bella's o—" Rosalie tried to stop him, but it wasn't working.

"How stupid are you?!"

"Emmett, cut it out," Jasper warned.

"What did you think you would happen?! That she was going to magically be able to _see _them and avoid them?! Of course she wouldn't! She thinks she's perfectly safe in her—"

"Enough, Emmett!" I shouted at him as I ignored the pulsing in my head and stood. "You have no right to yell at Alice! You're being a complete hypocrite, in case you don't recall that you did exactly the same thing months ago. In fact, it was the day Edward first ran into me that you had so carelessly tossed off your shoes in the middle of my apartment and I tripped over them. So, don't go and fucking yell at one of my best friends just because you think it's your job to protect me. I'm independent, and I said it was fine. I would have informed her she couldn't just leave her things around. There was no need to raise your voice. Apologize." After the initial shout to get his attention, my voice was softer, but carried more authority. It was strong and firm, and I finally demanded him to offer her an apology.

"Sorry, Alice," he mumbled.

"What was that, Emmett?" I asked him obnoxiously.

"I'm sorry, Alice," he said more loudly and more clearly.

"Good. Now, would you very kindly give Alice my exact words from that night? Or should I repeat them for the both of you?" I felt like a mother scolding her seven year old children.

"Erm…repeat them please?" he asked sheepishly.

I glared in his direction, whether he could see the expression or not. "Keep your damn shoes off my floor. They either stay on your feet or by the door."

"Sorry, Bella," Alice apologized meekly.

"There's nothing to be sorry about, Alice," I told her softly. "You didn't know and it wouldn't be something you'd think about initially. He's" – I pointed in Emmett's direction unhappily – "had some eighteen years of dealing with this and he still doesn't have it programmed into his thick skull. Honestly, it's fine." I moved carefully toward her, where I was sure she was, and opened my arms to her for a hug. I was greeted by her short stature as she hugged my tightly.

I could feel a dampness on my shoulder and realized Emmett had made her cry. I whipped my head in his direction.

"Go home, Emmett."

"But—"

"Go. Home." I punctuated each word clearly.

"Bella…"

"Emmett. Go. Home."

"I'm—"

"Rosalie."

She had him out of my apartment before he could protest any further.

"You okay, Ali?" I asked her, my hand stroking her soft pixie hair.

She nodded. "You didn't need to kick your brother out because of me."

I smiled at her. "I kicked him out because of him. He needed to chill. Besides, his shouting wasn't doing wonders for my throbbing head."

She pulled back from the embrace and stepped onto the coffee table behind me.

"Careful, Alice," Jasper said as I heard him move around me and stand beside her. I assumed he took a hold on her waist to be sure she didn't fall. Edward's footsteps traveled toward my kitchen and the freezer door opened as Alice's tiny fingers carefully prodded the back of my head with a stunning gentleness (considering she was generally vibrating and bouncing 24/7) where it'd made contact with the table and where Edward's fingers had probed earlier.

"I'm honestly _really_ sorry, Bella," she apologized again as I winced in response to her touching the tender spot. I heard a cabinet open and a pill bottle being shaken a bit. I heard a glass tap against the counter and then heard the faucet turn on.

"Really. S'okay."

She hopped down and then sat on the table. I was sure she was putting her heels back on.

Edward returned and I felt him hold a cold glass to my hand, then placed three circular pills in my other one. "Those should help."

"You're just trying to dope me up, Cullen," I teased as I tossed the pills back and drank the glass of water.

He chuckled, as did Jasper. "I don't think three aspirin will do that to you, Bells," Jasper drawled.

I shrugged. "Never know. I might just be what you consider a lightweight." I laughed at that. I'd had so many injuries over the years and taken so much aspirin because of it that the drug was beginning to lose its effectiveness. Edward knew as much, which was why he gave me three instead of one or two.

I knew it wouldn't have been long until I hurt myself, anyway. I was due for an injury after a good month and a half – was it even more? – without much damage.

"We're going to go now, Bells. We'll let you relax," Jasper admitted, pulling me into a hug. Since the Halloween party, we'd grown much tighter, just as Alice and I had. When I had free time and couldn't be alone with Edward, I was usually at their apartment studying with one of them for our similar classes. Plus, Jasper was a highly intellectual person, and I'd had a vast interest in history, which seemed to be his passion. He was studying architecture in college, and we would sometimes debate on which ancient structures were more incredible for hours before we even realized the time.

As Jasper released me, I heard the music finally stopped as the super shouted at the kids not to 'let this happen again ever' and then quieted a bit.

I hugged Alice goodbye as she apologized again and I assured her that I was fine.

Once they left, Edward pulled me into his arms and hugged my tightly, kissing my temple.

"Are you sure you're okay, love?" he asked me.

I nodded, sick of their excessive concern for the minor bruise that would form under my hair on the back of my head, as he led me to the couch. He took a seat and then had me lay down, my head in his lap. He removed my glasses and placed them on the coffee table. Finally, he placed the cold ice he'd gotten earlier in the kitchen.

I whimpered in relief.


	17. Meeting Charlie

_a/n: WE BEAT FUCKING NEWARK ACADEMY! yep, that's right. yesterday afternoon we beat Newark Academy in the second round of the Essex County tournament. BIG upset, and the first time in GRHS history. Made the headlines in the Star Ledger! Wow. Absolutely amazing. Tomorrow morning we play Millburn, the big cheaters, and they're going to lose! Going to kick ass in the AM. Don't really have much to say, super excited, though. xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_

**Edward's POV**

Bella and Emmett had made up the next day, after the incident with Alice. Needless to say, when we had made love two nights ago, I hadn't left my shoes or clothes on the floor. No way in hell was I letting my beautiful Bella hurt herself because I was too careless to think about something like that.

Currently, I sat in the driver's seat of my car, following Emmett nervously toward Forks from Seattle. I was about to meet the parents of the woman I loved. How could I _not _be nervous? Bella squeezed my hand reassuringly. She'd been doing so every five or six minutes, it seemed. She could sense the nerves rolling off of me.

"Edward, would you relax?" she asked me with a laugh. She began rubbing soothing circles into my hand.

"I'm sorry, love, but you have to look at it from my point of view. What if you were meeting _my _parents for the first time? Besides, your dad has a gun. My dad wields a scalpel." I shivered at the thought of Chief Swan picked up his gun and shooting me because Emmett let it slip that I'd defiled his daughter. "Oh God."

Bella laughed again before leaning over the console and kissing my neck. She kissed up my neck to my ear, then back down to where my shirt collar ended. She pulled it aside to reveal a piece of my shoulder and attached her lips to the skin there. I swallowed hard as I tried to remain focused on the road in front of me.

_Just follow Emmett's car…_

I wished I had just printed out directions from Mapquest or something so I could pull over and actually kiss Bella properly, but that wasn't exactly an option. I didn't know my way to Forks, Bella most certainly couldn't give me directions, and calling anyone in Emmett's car to get directions after stopping to make out with his little sister wasn't smart.

I groaned as Bella's tongue ran over my skin. She'd never done _this _before. Dammit. And I could hardly enjoy it when I was busy driving. I release her hand and placed my hand on her thigh, squeezing it softly and rubbing circles with my thumb. Her jeans blocked me from her skin and I sighed sadly, moving my hand back to hers.

Just as Bella bit down on my skin and I squeaked like a pathetic pubescent boy, I saw the 'Welcome To Forks' sign. Not two streets later did Emmett turn onto a new street, different from the one we'd been on for the past twenty minutes or so, and then stopped in front of a white house. I received a text message as I parked and Bella pulled back into her seat, fixing my collar to hide the hickey she'd made. That thing would last forever. However, my nerves were currently nonexistent.

_This is your stop. See ya._

It was from Emmett.

"Are we in front of my house?" Bella asked me, unbuckling her seatbelt. She probably already knew.

"If your house is a white house with green shutters on the windows and an old white rocking chair on the deck, well then yes. We're at your house."

"Is the cruiser there?" she asked.

"The cruiser?"

She sighed. "Is my dad's police car there?" she clarified.

"Oh. No." Thank God.

"Okay. He's probably still at the station. I'll call him when we get inside."

I squeezed her hand once and unlocked the doors. Instead of nodding yes, I tended to just squeeze her hand once.

We both got out and she walked forward carefully until she was sure of exactly the spot she stood. She then walked confidently up the steps and pulled a spare key out of her pocket. I went into the trunk and grabbed our bag. Neither of us felt the need to pack excessively (especially since Bella had clothes here and Rosalie and Alice had packed clothes for her as well) so we shared a single suitcase. It was big enough to carry clothes for a week, and we'd only be here for Thanksgiving weekend.

I carried the suitcase into the house as Bella stood just inside of the door, waiting for me.

"Where to, love?" I asked.

"Follow me," she replied.

As terrible as this sounded, it felt so weird letting a blind person lead you. I knew that if I stepped foot into my house, shut my eyes, and tried to move around in my house, I'd fail miserably.

She led me up the steps and to the first floor where there were three rooms with open doors and then a fourth door which remained closed. She led me to the one nearest the top of the steps and then fell down onto the bed. It was dark, the shades drawn shut, and the cloud cover already made natural light a more limited resource. I felt along the wall for the light switch, but couldn't find it.

Bella laughed and then I heard a click. Light flooded the room and I realized that it was a lamp that she turned on.

The room was simple. It was a soft cream color mixed with tan and brown mixed into it. All of her furniture was made of a dark wood and her comforter was chocolate brown. She had a very small twin bed, a desk, a dresser, an empty bookshelf, and a rocking chair. The rocking chair didn't match the rest of the bedroom set. It seemed much older, and I could only assume that it was inherited by her parents from a family member.

And, as I was examining her childhood bedroom, Bella was sitting on her bed with her glasses off, beckoning me over to her. I placed the suitcase on the ground and walked over to her, crawling over top of her and kissing her. I hadn't intended for it to last long, but her fingers wound into my hair and she held me there, her tongue pushing into my mouth.

I groaned as she finally pulled back after some ten minutes. "You know…I'm just waiting for my dad to walk in and catch us macking like horny teenagers," she commented, making me laugh.

"Love, we _are _horny teenagers," I pointed out.

She shrugged, chuckling, a delicious blush highlighting her cheeks. "Yeah, but I was thinking more along the lines of being in high school and him catching us, not being in college and having him catch us."

I lay on my side next to her.

"What's the difference?"

She giggled. "I don't live under his roof anymore."

I smiled and kissed her cheek before laying my head on the pillow and closing my eyes. I hadn't even had my eyes shut for thirty seconds before a male voice called, "Bells! You home?" from downstairs and I rolled off the side of the bed, startled, hitting the floor with the entire length of the body.

I heard someone running up the stairs as Bella laughed hysterically at me and put her sunglasses back on.

"Bella are you—oh, thank goodness you're alright," said a middle aged man with features very similar to Bella's and Emmett's. He had a hand planted over his heart as if it were racing. Then he looked at me. "Boy, what are you doin' on the floor?" I jumped to my feet quickly as the nerves came back full force.

Bella was still laughing hysterically at me. "He…he was practically asleep…when you came in…and scared the…heck out of him," she gasped. Charlie laughed as well.

I rubbed my hands nervously on my jeans and then ran a hand through my hair before extending one to her father. "Chief Swan, sir, it's a pleasure to finally meet you. My name is—"

"Edward Cullen," he cut me off, taking my hand with a smile and looking me up and down to be sure I checked out. "Emmett and Bella have been raving about you for a while now."

I blinked rapidly, wondering why he was so accepting of me suddenly. "They have?" I asked in surprise. I looked over at Bella as she blushed, ducking her head. I could understand her saying some good things about me to her father, but I didn't know why Emmett would.

"Yep. Both of them seem to hold you in high respects, boy."

He dropped my hand and leaned against the door frame as I stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. I didn't know how to respond to that, so I just mumbled a quiet thank you to him.

"So, where are Emmett and Rosalie?" he asked.

"They went to the Hale's house in order to get everyone situated," Bella answered him. "Alice and Jasper are staying there and they have a lot of suitcases."

I chuckled, knowing that Alice, as per usual, packed way too much for this trip.

"Half of which are probably for me," Bella mumbled under her breath.

"Well, I'm starving and there's a pizza on the way. Have you two eaten lunch yet?"

"No, we haven't eaten lunch yet, Chief Swan," I answered.

"Please, call me Charlie," he replied before walking out of the room and down the steps. I looked at Bella and she grinned at me, hopping up off the bed and wrapping her arms around my neck. She kissed me deeply and then drew back before I even had a chance to respond.

"I love you," she said before all but skipping out of the room.

I caught up to her quickly and grabbed her from behind, pulling her back against my chest and kissing the side of her neck chastely. "I love you, too, Bella. So much."

……………

"But Bella was certainly determined to prove she could beat them," Charlie said with laughter.

"And did she?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Hell no. She ran into a tree on the playground." He roared in laughter as Bella blushed furiously. I wrapped my hand around hers and lifted the back of it to my lips, kissing it softly as I chuckled.

She kicked me in the shin. "You're not supposed to laugh at me," she pouted.

"Aw, come on Bella, you have to admit it's kind of funny," I begged of her, rubbing my shin. Man, she was strong. Ow.

"What's funny?" Emmett asked, walking into the room alone.

"Just your face," Bella replied, taking a bite of pizza as Emmett mulled that one over in his head.

Thirty seconds later, Emmett protested that comment, saying, "Hey, that's mean!"

"A little slow today, son?" Charlie asked, laughing.

"At least I'm not old," Emmett shot at him, not having anything better…or maybe it was just his usual crack at his father.

Charlie scoffed. "Please. I'm only forty two. You should see most parents in this town. All of them are way older." Charlie sounded like a college student himself as he spoke with all of us.

"Whatever, old man. I'm just stating the obvious. You're still twice my age."

Emmett sat down and immediately reached for the pizza box which only had one slice left. He shoved it down his throat in only seconds, pouting when there was no more. He then made puppy dog eyes at Bella, and as though she could see them, she groaned and pushed the last untouched slice of pizza, which sat on her plate, toward him. She pretended that she was put out, but the corners of her mouth just tilted slightly.

"Quit with the pleading and eat your pizza, would you old man?" Bella teased.

Emmett scoffed, just as Charlie had. "Please. I'm only nineteen. You should see most of the people in this town. They are way older than me. Just look at that one across the table from you."

Charlie rolled his eyes at Emmett while Bella quipped, "Whatever, old man. I'm just stating the obvious. You're still a year older than me." She stuck her tongue out at him then smirked over at Charlie who laughed. I smiled at Bella, laughing at how she'd just mocked her brother the same way he'd mocked Charlie.

When we all finally stopped laughing – well, Emmett wasn't laughing, he was scowling, but the rest of us were laughing – Charlie asked, "Where's Rosalie? I haven't seen her in a while."

"She wanted to get Alice and Jasper settled in before they all came over," Emmett answered with a mouthful of pizza.

"Don't speak with your mouth full, Emmett. Mom would be completely ashamed," Bella scolded. "Speaking of which…" she turned to her father. "Where is Mom?"

Charlie and Emmett both stiffened. "She's in Los Angeles. She's been extremely busy lately and just couldn't get away from the office," Charlie answered stiffly.

"Okay," Bella answered, and they both relaxed, but I could tell Bella didn't believe them. She turned to me and mouthed 'bull shit'.

I squeezed her hand once and then took the last bite of my crust, left on the plate.

"So, what are we doing today?" Emmett asked. Bella and I both shrugged before she suddenly hopped up, apologizing.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I haven't even shown you around the house yet." She pulled me up out my chair sheepishly as Emmett laughed.

"Well, since Bella's going to go play hostess…is there anything good on?" Emmett asked Charlie.

Bella dragged me away and started leading me through every room in the house. It was a small house, so it didn't take long. We'd only left one room untouched, and that was the only closed door up on the second floor. Bella told me it was the attic and her mom's studio, and she didn't want to mess it up at all.

We ended up back in her room and she sat me down on the bed, moving to stand between my legs as she pushed her glasses atop her head.

"Hello, beautiful," I whispered in greeting as her lips descended on mine.

"Shut up, Edward," she whispered before beginning to kiss me thoroughly. Not one to protest, I complied with her order as I became lost in her. She nipped at my lips and I opened them, my tongue roaming out to reach hers and dance. She sat herself down in my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck, the both of us losing our sense of reality.

We came crashing right back into it, however, as Emmett said, "Whoa…Don't let Daddy Dearest catch you doing that." He was laughing loudly as he walked away and both Bella and I blushed.

……………

"Goodnight," Charlie said as he walked up the stairs to his room. Bella, Emmett, Rosalie, and I all sat in the living room staring at each other in awkward silence.

We'd just discussed sleeping arrangements with Charlie.

"_It's about midnight, now. I know it's way past my bedtime, and I'd think you'd all want to catch up on the sleep you're missing with school. Am I right?" Charlie asked._

_We all nodded simultaneously._

"_Emmett, Rosalie, I'm assuming you'll take Emmett's room like you usually do?"_

_They both nodded._

"_Okay. But I swear to God that if I get woken up in the middle of the night by you two…AGAIN…you'll be separated for the rest of the weekend," Charlie replied, grinning as they both ducked their heads in embarrassment. I didn't know Emmett was capable of being embarrassed. In fact, I could have sworn that his cheeks were pink._

_I chuckled and Bella grimaced. "They're so…loud," she shuddered. I laughed louder as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her into my side. I wasn't concerned about sleeping arrangements. I was pretty sure I was sleeping down here on the couch or something. Rose and Emmett had been together for something like six or more years and shared an apartment in Seattle. It was pretty obvious that they were allowed to sleep in the same bed. I, on the other hand, hadn't even known Bella for three months yet._

"_I'll go get Edward a quilt and some linens for the sofa," Bella said as she stood up._

"_Why?" Charlie asked._

_We all stopped to look at him._

"_Because I'm sleeping on the couch?" I replied, though it came out as a question._

"_Really?" He seemed surprised._

_I was feeling a little uncomfortable, suddenly. "Erm…well…I mean…yeah. Where else would I sleep?"_

_He started laughing. "If you want to. I just thought you'd like to stay with Bella."_

"_What?" all four of us asked him dumbly._

"_Well, it isn't fair for me to allow Rose and Emmett the option of sharing a room and not allow you and Bella the same choice."_

_My mouth hung open in response to that, and my mouth truly couldn't form the words. My thoughts were far more coherent and somehow I managed to eventually express them. "I just thought…that because you knew Rose for…so long and me…well, for not so long…that, you'd…you know…not want…"_

_I couldn't even finish before Charlie was laughing. Everyone else was still sitting with their mouths hanging open._

"_Edward, I trust my daughter. Besides, that bed is _not _made to survive any funny business. Oh, and try not to fall out of it again." With that he stood up and walked up the stairs, calling down, "Goodnight."_

Which brought us back to this moment. Bella plopped down next to me in awe.

"What. The. Fuck?" she questioned.

The rest of us just nodded our agreement mutely.

Suddenly, Emmett snapped out of it. "Dude, if you even attempt to defile my little sister in that room tonight, I swear on all that is Holy, I will rip your balls off." Then he grabbed Rose's hand mumbling about not wanting to hear any noises coming from the room down the hall as he walked away.

I shuddered in response to that as Bella seemed to wake from her stupor. She stood and grabbed my hand, dragging me quietly up the stairs to her bedroom. She opened the suitcase and pulled out her pale purple flannel pajama pants as well as one of my t-shirts that she'd been using as her pajama top. Then she tossed me my own black and red flannel PJ pants and grey high school baseball t-shirt. Then she changed her mind and grabbed the t-shirt I had in my hands and switched it with the one she had in hers.

"This is your baseball t-shirt, right?" she asked.

"Mhmm," I answered as I closed her bedroom door and began to change. "Why?"

She grinned, pulling her glasses off and then running a hand over the shirt until she finally stopped and showed me the back of it, pointing to my last name printed on the shoulders. "That's why," she answered me, tossing off her current clothing and slipping the shirt and pants on.

Once we were both done, I hugged her close to me and kissed her softly. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too." She then dragged me out of the room and into the bathroom where we both finished getting ready for bed. We heard some suspicious noises from Emmett and Rosalie's room, then Charlie banging on the wall.

"I swear, you two are going to give me grandchildren by the end of next year if you keep going at it like that!"

Bella and I both cringed at what they were doing and laughed at Charlie's reaction. I really liked Bella's father.

I laid down on my back on the small bed, practically taking up the whole thing. Bella laughed as she tried to make me scoot over.

"Move your fat ass, Cullen," she giggled.

"Nuh-uh."

Before she could respond, I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her down on top of me. Then I pulled the covers over us as she laid her head on my chest and straightened herself out. I wrapped my arms around her as her little hands gripped onto my shirt and her beautiful brown eyes closed.

"I love you, Edward," she whispered sleepily as she drifted off.

"I love you, too." And then I was asleep as well.


	18. Actually Smiling

_a/n: So...life. Let's see...My partner and I took out those Millburn bitches on Saturday! A 3 setter... 3.6 6.4 7.5 ... had to call a line judge in the first set and keep one on at all times for the next wo sets as well. They even got called on a time violation. We took the first singles court too, but unfortunately none of our other teammates could convert so we didn't knock the top seed out of the tournament though it was close in a 3.2 loss. They're the number 3 team in the STATE and so my partner and I are (still) celebrating our big win over one of the top doubles teams in the state. Yesterday we took out Mt St Dominic in a full sweep of 5.0 which is pretty amazing considering the fact that they're undefeated otherwise and that it was so fucking cold I couldn't feel my fingers. We made STATES!!! YAY!!!! You know what that means??? That means we are going to win, since we're number 1 in our division/section...yIPEE!!! My shoulder is feeling a little better as of late, but I feel like shit with allergy season starting off. My damn throat is so fucking sore. On the other hand, I'm incredibly excited because THIS MONDAY MORNING I GET MY FUCKING BRACES OFF! 2 years on for the top front four, a year and a half for all of the rest. Woohoo! I BROKE UP with my boyfriend (no ex-boyfriend) on Saturday at the homecoming dance at my high school, and apparently I broke his heart. I'm 15, he's 16, I don't think it could be anything more than puppy love, if even that, so he'll survive. Besides, I've been pretty MIA the last 3 months of our 5 month relationship. He can't really be missing me intensely or anything. Talking about intense...my friend said the worst but funniest thing today (one of the many things, at least)... "We must be camping because we're intense..." get it? say it aloud, if you don't...might help...if you still don't get it then "In tents"..."intense"...get it now? haha, such an Emmett thing to say, don't you think? Anywho...that's my life in a nutshell. Single, tennis obsessed, and sick. Yepp..._

_xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_

**Edward's POV**

I awoke when I heard the phone ring and someone walking down the hall. I opened my eyes and saw Charlie passing by the open door of our room. I closed my eyes again and tried to fall back asleep, but Charlie's footsteps had stopped and I heard the wood floor creak by the door of the room.

"Yeah, they're all here," he said. "Yes, Edward's here too." He sighed. "He is…don't be that way Renee…so Rose can, but he can't?...He's a good boy, really…You would know that if you were here…No I haven't told her yet…You should be here to tell her with me…Emmett will help me break the news to her…Don't change the subject on me, Renee…They're sleeping peacefully…Fully clothed…Lord, Renee, they're fine…She's happy…she hasn't stopped smiling since she arrived – hell she's even smiling in her sleep…She never used to smile like this. I can't even remember a time when she was this happy. I'm not going to let anything ruin that...I'm hoping that she won't take it so hard with Edward here to comfort her…my god, are you truly that dense?...You aren't the most chaste woman I've ever met, so don't even begin to use that as your side of the argument…"

He pushed off the wall and began shuffling down the hall when Bella stirred slightly. She never woke, just breathed a heavy sigh and fell deeper into sleep. I chuckled when I heard her mumbling. In the few nights that I had stayed with her, I would occasionally wake in the middle of the night, hearing Bella grumbling about some ridiculous thing or another.

"No, Mom, don't sew the grapefruit to the purse…it goes on the dress…careful, you're getting juice all over it…"

It wasn't long before I was asleep again, dreaming about all the nights I'd spent with Bella and the funny things she'd said. It was highly entertaining, and I was chuckling as I awoke to my angel shaking my shoulder.

"What are you laughing about, Cullen?" she asked me, looking at me strangely.

I stopped laughing and smiled at her, leaning up to her face and kissing her lips gently. "Nothing, love. Good morning."

She sighed and lay her head back down. "Good morning. I'm hungry, but I'm too comfy to get out of bed."

I held back my laugh as I threw the covers off of us and lifted us both out of bed. I then set her back down on the bed, took her glasses off the nightstand, placed those over her eyes, and then bent down before her.

"Edward?" she questioned.

"Bella, get on my back," I replied, knowing she couldn't actually see what I was doing.

"M'kay," she answered uncertainly, tentatively finding my shoulders with her hands and then straddling my back. I grabbed the backs of each of her thighs and lifted her up. Her legs instantly wrapped around my waist as her arms looped around my neck. She squealed quietly into my neck, laughing.

I chuckled as I carried her down the steps to the kitchen she had pointed out yesterday. Charlie was sitting at the table reading a newspaper with his coffee and looked up when he heard us enter. He smiled softly at Bella, though she couldn't see it, and then smiled gratefully at me. I recalled the conversation he'd had on the phone last night as he watched Bella sleeping. _I can't even remember a time when she was this happy._

I smiled at him in response and set Bella down on her feet. She promptly walked over to the table and sat down with Charlie. "Good morning, Dad. What would you like for breakfast?" she asked.

"I'm alright, Bells. I actually have to go into the station in about an hour so I'll just grab a bagel when I'm there."

Bella shook her head and jump up from her seat and walked over to the refrigerator, her hands searching around inside with confusion written all over her face.

"I'd tried to keep it organized the same way but…um…well, a few things have changed," Charlie explained nervously. She pulled back, but I looked into the fridge and saw some eggs, bread, butter, cheese, and sausage. I took them out and placed them on the counter.

"Do you guys have a frying pan?" I asked as I walked over to the toaster and popped in a few slices of bread.

They both looked up at me before Bella walked over and opened one of the cabinets below the counter and pulled out two pans, asking which one I'd like. I took them both from her and kissed her forehead. "Thank you, love."

I put them both on the burners and began to cook the only thing I knew how to…an omelet. As I set a plate in front of Bella, I heard her stomach growl in anticipation. I chuckled as I set a plate out for Charlie and then took my own to the seat next to Bella's. They each took a bite and hummed in appreciation before digging in like it was their last meal.

"I didn't know you could cook, Edward," Bella said happily.

"I'm pretty useless in the kitchen, actually. This is the only thing I can make."

Charlie took the plates to the sink and washed them, even when Bella and I protested that we would do it.

"Breakfast was delicious, Edward. Thank you," Charlie told me, patting me awkwardly on the shoulder and then dropping a kiss onto the top of Bella's head. She seemed surprised by the action, but said nothing as Charlie walked out of the house and drove away in the cruiser.

"Bella, are you alright?" I asked her.

She nodded and stood, walking up the stairs. I followed her and we crossed paths with Emmett and Rosalie who walked fully dressed past us.

"We're going to my mom's house!" Rose called after us.

"Kay, love you guys!" Bella answered back as the both of us walked into her room.

The front door closed and Emmett's car drove away as well.

"I'm going to take a shower," she told me, picking out a pair of jeans, a green, tight, v-neck sweater, and a very attractive, dark blue, lacy bra and panty set. It was amazing that she didn't actually know what she was wearing, because every time she chose her clothing, which was a far more common event lately, she managed to drive me mad with the outfit.

I groaned. "Want some company?" I asked, pulling her close to me and sucking on her neck.

She hummed in contemplation before finally answering, "Okay, but no _funny business_. I don't think our shower was made to survive it either." She giggled as she went to the bathroom and I grabbed a pair of jeans and boxers (I could grab a shirt later) and ran after her.

She wasn't lying when she said 'no funny business' and I was perfectly okay with that, though I stayed in an extra few minutes taking a cold shower with my back turned to her as she dried herself off. Only when she was dressed did I step out and dry myself, then got dressed while Bella blow dried her hair. I brushed it out for her and then slipped a black headband into her hair.

I put on a black college t-shirt and then threw on my black leather jacket as Bella put on her jacket.

"So, what are we doing today, love?" I asked her as she led me out onto the front porch. She pulled out her cane and took my hand. I was about to try and grab it from her but she realized that easily and smirked as she held it out of reach on the other side of her.

"I want to show you around town, but it's been a while and I'd do better using this," she answered, sticking out her tongue as she began pulling me down the steps and along the sidewalk. I still grasped her waist tightly and walked with her pulled into my side as she led me around. "Besides, my guess is that Charlie has nothing good to eat so we need to do a quick grocery run. I don't plan on having Hot Pockets for dinner tonight."

I laughed at her comment and walked along with her. I could see her lips moving as she'd count, though usually she counted in her head. Every so often, she would stop and point out someone's house and tell an anecdote. It didn't take long to get to the center of the tiny town. There was a light rain as we walked into the grocery store, hand in hand.

"So, we need something simple, since Emmett will be a little ticked with me for cooking," she told me, smirking as she thought. "I was thinking pasta is pretty simple to make."

"Sounds good, love."

"So, since you can read everything and this store has been rearranged a few too many times, would you be so kind as to lead me to the correct section? Or will I need to ask someone at the register?" she asked me, raising an eyebrow.

I laughed and began walking with her to the small aisle where I'd spotted the pasta.

As we started deciding, she asked, "Would you prefer spaghetti or penne?"

"Penne."

"Me too." I pulled two boxes off the shelf (we all knew how much Emmett ate) and put it into the small basket Bella had gotten from beside the door. "Could you go grab a jar of tomato sauce?"

I nodded and walked down the aisle to grab it off the shelf. Just as I was returning to her, I noticed her frown as a baby-faced blonde guy walked up to her.

"Hey, Bella. Fancy meeting you here," he greeted her.

"Mike," she returned unenthusiastically as her frown deepened.

I started walking toward her quickly.

"I heard you're at college now. Having fun, there?" he asked in a condescending tone. "Or are you still too—"

"Is there something wrong, love?" I asked her sweetly as I wrapped my arms around Bella from behind, kissing the side of her neck. I put the sauce into the basket and then looked over her shoulder at this 'Mike' guy. My brain was kicking into gear, telling me that this man was likely the man who had been her first date. The guy from the soccer team. Bastard.

"Everything is fine, Edward," she sighed softly. I could feel her relaxing in my arms.

"Hello, I'm Edward Cullen," I introduced myself. "And you are?" I didn't offer to shake his hand. I tried to hold back from sneering at him.

"Mike Newton. Are you Bella's caretaker or something?" he asked flippantly.

I laughed humorlessly. "Of course not. I'm her boyfriend. Wait, I think I've heard about you before. Bella said something to me... something about a pathetic date that ended poorly with an even more pathetic jackass, right? Yeah, that's right. Well, you really missed out by being an idiot. Thanks, though. Now I get to keep her all to myself, right love?"

"Well…I—I um…it…" he stumbled over his words as my nonchalant mention of his stupidity reached his ears and knocked him speechless. Bella was frozen in my arms.

"Hmm…so it was nice meeting you Mark. I really hope, for your sake, that I don't see you around," I said, leading Bella away from the bumbling idiot. She stood in a stupor as we checked out, but when we stood outside the store and the rain hit her face, she suddenly returned to reality.

She launched herself at me, pushing me against the wall and crashing her lips against mine.

"Thank you." And then her lips were completely attached to my own. I slid my tongue along her lower lip and she willingly allowed me entrance. My thumbs brushed the skin on her lower back, sliding just under the hem of her sweater. Her fingers twined into my hair and she pressed my face even closer to hers while I tilted my head for a better angle. Her entire body pressed into mine. Then she—

"Ohmigod, would you two get a room?" a nasally voice asked, annoyed.

"God, at least we had some class when_ we_ were in high school," another unpleasant voice commented.

"You two had _no _class in high school," Bella replied shortly with a snort before she could stop herself from speaking. "Oh fuck," she whispered, burying her face into my chest, her head tucked under my chin.

I looked at the two women who were glaring at the back of Bella's head. One had mousy brown hair and flat gray eyes, while the other had corn-silk blonde hair with anything-but-natural highlights and flat brown eyes that were such a strange color they looked almost red. I shivered at the pure hatred burning in them.

"Well, who are _you _to be saying anything like that to _me_? Do you even know who I am?" the blonde one asked with some major attitude.

"Let's go, Edward," Bella whispered.

"Of course, love. Come on."

The blonde and brunette both looked up at me and that moment and ogled me disgustingly. As Bella and I started to walk away, neither of them seeing her face yet, the blonde grabbed my arm.

"Whoa, now, where do you think you're going, handsome?" she asked. I ripped my arm out of her grasp and kept walking, but hadn't been paying attention and Bella promptly tripped. She must have forgotten to take out her cane.

She brushed off her knees and palms and I helped her stand back up, settling my hands on her shoulders. "Bella, are you alright?" I asked her.

She nodded but the two girls gasped. God, they were getting on my nerves.

"What the hell are you doing with _her_?" the blonde one shrieked. Her voice was like nails scratching down a chalk board. It sounded a lot like Tanya's did when she was upset and yelling.

"Why, whatever do you mean?" I asked her, rolling my eyes.

"Look at her. She can't even see where the hell she's walking. Why would you even go within ten feet of something like _that_?"

I growled. "Is it any of your business why I'm dating her, because really I don't think it is…"

"Well no, but who would ever want to date a worthless waste of flesh like her?"

_Oh so fucking screwed, little girl._

"Because she isn't a waste of flesh, she's an incredible person, and some people look for more in a girlfriend or boyfriend than just the ability to see. On the other hand, here's a truly enigmatic question…who would ever want to date a worthless waste of flesh like _you? _I'm struggling to find the answer. It just doesn't seem feasible that anyone would go near you, but clearly, someone has made that mistake, judging by the baby bump you're sporting. Or are you just putting on a little weight? What do they call it? The freshman 15? Or is it freshman thirty?"

When her mouth had officially dropped to the ground and I realized that I was going way over the top and overreacting and honestly didn't know enough about this girl to say anything like this, let alone anything more, I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist and began leading her back in the direction we'd walked to get here from her house. Bella pulled out her cane after a few steps and once we'd gone three blocks, she stopped me.

At first I was worried she was still upset, but she didn't seem it as she turned to me, smiling.

"Again, thank you," she whispered, kissing me tenderly before pulling away and smiling even wider. "And is Lauren really pregnant?

I chuckled and shrugged. "How should I know? But, hey, she certainly had no response."

She giggled and hugged me tightly. "I love you so so so so so so so so so soooooooo much."

I placed a kiss on her forehead. "I love you too, Bella. I really, really do."


	19. Secrets, Secrets They're No Fun!

_a/n: alright, this chapter is kinda long, but it has a lot of description. it's in Bella's pov, and so it was a lot harder to write. i had to rely on my hearing, mainly. I'm lucky my ears are so fucking sensitive or i don't think i coulda done this. this is probably the one time i'll admit to being thankful for my attuned hearing. in other cases it just makes me cringe. ugh. Life...WE WON THE SEMIFINAL MATCH! we have finals next week, and there's no chance we'll lose. it's so exciting. my first time making it to states! yay! haha. okay, i really won't say much. just that **REVIEWERS WILL GET A PREVIEW OF THE NEXT CHAPTER!**_

_xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_

**Bella's POV**

It was chilly, but I wasn't ready to go home yet. I took him in the direction I knew the middle school was. The rain was light and so I wasn't very concerned about it. Quietly, I brought him over to the swings and folded my cane back up, handing it to him. He took it without question as I sat down on the moist swing, the chains and hinges squealing with the change in weight. I settled into the seat and Edward came up behind me, pushing me softly on the swing in near silence.

Emmett and Rosalie had always stood up for me whenever they found out anyone had hurt me. People were intimidated by the both of them. Guys didn't dare stand up to Rosalie, because they wanted to get in her pants, but also because she was frightening as hell when she wasn't happy. Girls wished they were Rosalie Hale, and wouldn't dream of upsetting such a goddess directly. Plus, she had enough dirt on all of them to turn a dessert into a flower garden. Then, of course, there was Emmett. He would never hit a girl, but every girl looked at him the same way guys looked at Rose. They didn't know the teddy bear he was inside. They all just thought he looked like sex on legs and was too big to piss off directly. No, no one would ever stand up to Em and Rose.

But that didn't mean they didn't go behind their backs. All through my years of school, it had been difficult, but last year had been the hardest for me. Emmett and Rosalie weren't around to be feared, and I wouldn't dare ever snitch on another classmate. It was bad enough as it was already, I hadn't needed to add more bullying because I couldn't stand up for myself. The girls had been ruthless, and the guys had always harassed me. It was growing harder to deal with every day. Angela and Ben were great to hang out with so that I wasn't alone, but there just wasn't that same connection or understanding that I'd shared with Emmett and Rose, nor did they really have the capacity to protect me the way my brother and sister had. They were quiet, and reserved, and while they didn't care that I was different, they barely stood up for themselves. They were just as subject to criticism as I was, though I was sure I took the brunt of the bullying.

Never, though, have I ever been defended by someone whose voice was so strong or determined, who sounded so angry over something so little, or who attacked so fiercely with simple words, the way Edward had for me. He'd hardly known me for two months, yet he seemed to be more protective of me than anyone had ever been of anybody else. Edward was a gentleman and I had never heard him be cruel or cause pain. He'd never even killed a fly around me. He had just carried it outside in a plastic cup and set it free. But I could have sworn he would have hit Lauren for the things she said. While that should have made me worried, it had only made me increasingly happy that he could really truly love me.

He loved me. There was no need for me to find any other conviction. He loved me with my disability, with my faults. He loved everything about me. It seemed there was nothing that I could show him that he wouldn't smile at or kiss me for. He may not have said this exactly, but I knew it was true, because that was exactly how I felt for him. He was exactly that to me. He could do no wrong. He was perfect in every way possible. He was everything I wanted and needed, and everything I didn't know I wanted and needed. He was God. He was to me what God was to Christians. I would worship this man until the end of my days.

I could hear the wind rustling the leaves as the cool droplets of water continued to fall down onto my skin. I could hear the rain water pinging against the metal of the playground's jungle gym, as well as the harsh thump of it against the plastic slide. The chain jingled a bit as Edward pushed me and the rusty, old hinges continued to creak. Edward let out a louder breath every time he pushed me, as compared to his breathing whenever I swung freely. His hands imprinted into my back with a gentle pressure, and I wished I could feel the heat of his skin through the jacket I wore.

"You're rather quiet, love. What's on your mind?" Edward questioned, continuing to push me.

I shrugged. "Nothing. Just…stuff."

"Like…" he inquired. I could hear both the concern in the curiosity in his tone.

"Just you," I answered, turning my head so that he could see my face as I smiled lovingly at him.

The swing jerked suddenly, and I screeched, startled, as it held in midair. Edward was laughing at my startled reaction and I realized that he must have grabbed the chains of the swing.

"You suck," I mumbled at him, but had hardly finished before his lips were on mine, kissing me from behind.

"You are always on my mind, Bella," he whispered against them. I was dizzy with the surprise of his drugging kiss, and just hummed in response as I kissed him in return. I hadn't realized I had been moved until the tips of my toes brushed the ground below the swings and Edward helped me up off the plastic seat. He took my hand and the both of us began walking back through the gate of the fence that surrounded the grounds. He handed me my cane as our footsteps fell into an even, Edward shortening his strides to match mine.

Just as he had in the park after our first date, Edward lifted me over puddles, me squealing in surprise each and every time. I should have expected it, but he managed to catch me unexpectedly. If I ever tried to jump away, he laugh and scoop me up completely carrying me for about a block before placing me back down. There were occasions where I had to take a moment to recall where we were so that I would still be able to lead us back without a problem, but generally it wasn't terribly difficult. I'd lived in the town for eighteen years, after all.

When we finally got back to the house, I handed the cane over to Edward and carefully walked up the old wooden steps. Edward held my hand as we walked inside, laughing as I told him about the time Emmett decided to run up the stairs a couple hundred times at age eleven, claiming he would be the next Olympic champion so he needed to begin training young. The oh so intelligent little boy forgot that it was always raining in Forks and therefore, anything outside was always wet. He made it up and down the porch steps a grand total of four times before slipping and dislocating his shoulder.

However, the second I walked into the house, I could feel the tension hanging in the air. I could hear the breathing of my father and brother. I was pretty sure Rosalie wasn't in the room, though I couldn't rule out the fact of whether or not she was in the house. I listened harder, standing still for a moment as Edward tensed slightly. I couldn't hear anyone moving throughout the house, so I assumed Rose was at home with Alice and Jasper.

Just as I thought this, the door opened behind us and Alice walked right into my back with a quiet, "Oomph." I stumbled forward slightly before Edward helped me catch my balance.

"Hey guys," I greeted them, Alice hugging me as she always did. The tension began to dissipate, though I wondered why there was any tension at all in the first place.

Rosalie hugged me, and then so did Jasper. Emmett grumbled his hello, then stood and introduced them to Charlie who I could tell, by the sound of his voice, was a little flustered. He wasn't often a people's person. He liked to be alone, most days, though he seemed a little more chatty and sociable yesterday.

I pulled Edward with me into the living room and sat down on the couch. I pulled him down, meaning for him to sit beside me, but he chose to sit on the floor between my legs, leaning his head back into my lap. I placed my fingers on his cheek then ran them up his temples to his bronze hair. The soft strands brushed over my skin as I massaged his perfect scalp. I heard the low, quiet moan and laughed. His skin heated under my hands and I moved them down to his cheeks where the skin was even hotter. He was blushing. I pressed a kiss to his forehead, absentmindedly returning to my previous actions as we all talked about nothing special in particular.

Then conversations turned to mine and Emmett's childhood. I blushed furiously as they pulled out family photo albums. I may not have been able to see the pictures, but that didn't mean I had no idea what was on those pages. Emmett and Charlie laughed and regaled them with stories while they passed around albums, looking through the pictures. Every so often, Edward, Alice, or Jasper would point out a picture and ask for the story behind it. I often had to jump in and defend myself because Emmett would stretch the truth to get more laughs or Charlie wouldn't have the story quite right. There were a few where Emmett would start the story, but he would be too embarrassed to finish and I would pick up where he left off, giving him a taste of his own medicine.

It seemed like hours and hours of laughter that was eventually ended at six when Alice, Jazz, and Rose decided they had to leave. Emmett would join them later. Apparently, Emmett decided he would be sleeping over there tonight, which was different, because whenever they were in town they slept over her, even all through last year with college. I just shrugged and stood, heading over to the kitchen.

I heard their footsteps following me as I retrieved a large pot from a lower cabinet and filled it with water. Setting it on the stove, I turned on the flame to allow it to boil.

"Have you spoken to your mother lately, Bella?" Charlie asked, seeming like he knew the answer.

"Only once or twice since the school year started. She's seemed really busy. Why?"

"Just curious. I haven't seen her much since you left. She's spent most of her time in New York, actually, looking for a new place to set up her company. She wants to branch out a little more. She's even considering setting up a London office," he answered.

I frowned at that as I heard the first bubble pop at the surface of the water. Why hadn't I known all this?

"When did this start?"

"She decided it a few years ago, but never really got around to it until you were out of the house. She didn't really like being away from you, and she was already rarely home with her headquarters being set up in California."

I nodded. I knew all of this already. "So, when was the last time she was here?" I wondered.

"Er…well…it's been a little while, Bells. Like I said, really busy." That was a lie, but I'd let it go now. I heard the worry and nervousness in my father's voice.

"I'm sure you miss her, Dad."

I could hear a few more bubbles popping and then I heard Edward pulling the pasta and sauce out of the plastic bags from the grocery store. He opened each carton filled with pasta and then pulled another pot out of the pantry, presumably for the sauce.

"I keep busy, too…keep my mind off of her," Charlie spoke, still his tone the same.

Bubble. Bubble. Bubble.

I picked up the pasta from the counter, pouring both boxes in. If there was extra, then Charlie would have it for once I left. The penne scraped against the cardboard and then splashed into the hot water. The rest of my time spent preparing the pasta was quiet, and I often just leaned against the counter, Edward by my side. He put the sauce on after a short while, heating it up and stirring it constantly, then I drained the pasta and put it back into the empty pot. Edward poured the sauce over the pasta, the scrumptious scent attacking my senses as I stirred the two together. Emmett began to set the small kitchen table and Charlie got two large bowls to put the pasta in to be served. Edward separated them out into the bowls and I went to retrieve napkins from their usual place in the pantry, but I froze when they weren't there. I felt around, confused as to why the shelf which usually held napkins, Tupperware, tinfoil, plastic wrap, and sandwich bags would suddenly have some boxes of food. That wasn't right.

"Dad?" I asked in confusion.

"Yes?"

"Where are the napkins?"

He cussed so quietly I hardly heard it as another cabinet was opened and they were then placed in my hands.

"Sorry. Like I said, some things have changed." Again with the nervous, tense tone.

We all sat down to dinner as Emmett talked about the morning that he had enjoyed over at the Hale's. Edward and I mentioned our little walk through town, and Edward admitted that all the lively green was beautiful. Otherwise, the only sounds were our breathing mixed with the grinding of teeth as the food was chewed and the clinking of glasses and silverware against the plates and table.

"So, pulled anyone interesting over lately?" I asked Charlie when the silence seemed to drag on for too long. Edward's left hand dropped down to my knee as he rubbed it distractedly. I placed my hand over his and joined them together as we both continued to eat.

"No one new, really. Although, there was this one guy…I think his name might have been Aro…who came speeding through town in his bright green Lamborghini. I don't know what he was doing driving through Forks in a car like that." He laughed genuinely as he recalled it. "And he was an eighty-something year old guy from Italy. I was completely shocked."

I smiled at his comment. "You're just jealous because you don't have a cool car like that."

"I could if I wanted to, but I like my cruiser," he replied. I nodded and took another bite of pasta. "Have you seen Doctor Stewart lately?" he asked me after a long stretch of silence.

I bit my lip sheepishly. I'd missed my appointment last week accidentally and hadn't made a new one yet. "No, not in a while. I was supposed to go the other day, but I forgot."

"Bella," all three men around me scolded, though I didn't understand why Edward had. He didn't even know who Doctor Stewart was.

"It was an honest mistake," I defended myself. "It's not as though I can write it down on a calendar and see it the day before." I huffed and sat back in my chair my arms folded. Edward squeezed my knee.

"Who is Doctor Stewart?" he voiced the question I knew he'd ask.

"My eye doctor," I replied, picking up my fork and pushing the last few penne around my plate.

He leaned into my ear and asked, rather quietly, "Why didn't you tell me, love? I would have taken you to it. I would have made sure you'd gotten there." I shrugged in response.

"I'd honestly forgotten about the appointment. I made it over a month ago, and they didn't call to remind me. Had I recalled it, I would have asked someone to take me."

He sighed. "Tell me from now on, please?" he requested.

I nodded and he kissed my cheek before pulling back, his hair brushing my temple as he retreated. "I'll make a new appointment when we get back."

"Okay, love."

When we'd all finished eating dinner, Emmett and Charlie cleaned up while Edward and I ventured into the living room. He took a seat on the end of the couch and I cuddled up beside him, leaning my head on his shoulder as his arm wrapped around mine.

"Are you having fun yet?" I asked him, pressing a kiss to his chin. My glasses knocked him in the face on the way and he laughed in response to that. I'd gotten so used to not wearing them around him that I was becoming more accustomed to being without them than I was to having them on.

I placed my hand on his chest as it expanded and contracted with his breathing. "Of course I'm having fun. I always enjoy myself when I'm with you."

Emmett laughed as he walked in. "Dude, you're so whipped."

"And you're not?" I shot at him, smirking when he had no reply.

"She has a point there, Em. Pot, kettle," my dad agreed, taking a seat in his favorite recliner, not resting it back as he usually did. I could hear him sipping his beer and I waited for him to turn on the TV, but when he didn't, that uneasy tension returned to the atmosphere. It was so heavy that I was sure even Emmett couldn't bench press it.

The silence lasted about five minutes where nothing was said and the only sound was that produced by all of us shifting uncomfortably, and I felt my father's and brother's eyes on me the entire stretch of time.

"Okay, I'm getting sick of this. What's going on?" I asked in exasperation.

Both Charlie and Emmett sighed as I shifted so I was sitting upright. Edward moved his arm from around my shoulders and instead took my hand. I assumed he could sense some form of impending doom, just as I could.

"Bella, there's something that we need to tell you," Charlie said.

I bit my lip before tentatively replying, "Go ahead, Dad."

"Bella, your mother and I met in California when we were young. Marie Dwyer, your grandmother, had been murdered by a serial killer, and I was one of the officers on her case."

"I know the story, Dad," I interrupted anxiously.

"I know you do, Bella, but I'm retelling it for clarification, because some things weren't told to you the way they should have been. So, your twenty one year old mother had just inherited a multimillion dollar company, was being splashed all over the news, and had also just lost her own mother. Her father had always been flighty until finally he disappeared to hell knows where. She looked to me for comfort once the investigation was over. Her mother's death had been the third to last before Jackson Sphingo had been taken into custody.

"These feelings of comfort somehow morphed into feelings of love. She became dependent on my emotional stability, and I wanted nothing more than to be there to comfort her whenever she needed it. But it wasn't the sort of love that we perceived it to be. We'd married after only two months of being together. Renee worked so hard to live up to Marie's expectations for the company, and she easily passed that, but we rarely saw each other.

"My schedule was erratic, hers was just constantly busy. Then she ended up pregnant with Emmett and we started fighting. She wouldn't calm down and let her employees do the work so that there would be no complications with Emmett. She wanted a nanny for him, but I was more than willing to stop working as an officer to stay home with him. She knew I loved my work, and she insisted I couldn't. We couldn't agree on a new house or a new apartment. The list goes on and on about the things we just couldn't agree on. Some things were stupid, others were not.

"Once Emmett was born, the arguments were getting bigger and stupider. A lot of it had to do with being parents with a newborn, but by the time Emmett had settled into a schedule and was calm and sweet, our marriage just wasn't working. We tried, truly honestly tried, but there was no fixing this. So, finally we sat down and had one long, inevitable conversation. What do we do? It was the big question. This is where the story changes from what you were told, Bella. We'd just had our eighth major blow up within a two week period, and we were both too tired to do it anymore. Renee got on her phone with the lawyer, and we drew up the papers. We would split custody with Emmett, though I would take care of him more. I had friends around who had kids Emmett's age and were willing to watch him while I worked. Renee would have him when she wasn't working, which was rare.

"A few months after the divorce was finalized, Renee came over to my house late at night. Her face was stained with tears and she seemed guilty and ashamed as hell. She told me about everything that had been happening to her up until being taken into the hospital and told she was pregnant. She felt terrible for all the damage she had likely done to you with her lack of prenatal care and her dieting and such, and I was once again comforting her.

"Emmett loved being able to see us together constantly, even though he wasn't even a year old or old enough to understand it, but we knew we weren't going to try again. Just because we had another child, it didn't mean we were going to be okay. We'd regained a friendship, however, and maintained it through the rest of the pregnancy. We knew we could do it just fine the way we were planning, until we discovered you were blind. Renee beat herself up for weeks, and I started planning on what we could do to make this easier on both of you.

"So, we left California. Renee needed a break, and I wanted you to live somewhere calmer and smaller. We bought the small house in Forks where I knew the Chief of Police well. Forks was where my father had grown up, and Chief Alba had been his best friend. It was going well for all of us, again, and Renee would travel back to California when she had to. I tried to convince her to open up shop in Seattle instead so that she didn't have to travel so far, but she refused.

"Somewhere along the line, we decided to keep both you and Emmett in the dark about our divorce. We thought that maybe it would be one less complication in our lives. It didn't seem hard to hide it. Renee was constantly flying off, and when she was here, both of you slept through the night so we didn't need to worry about you coming into 'our' room."

Charlie stopped talking then and Emmett took over when I didn't even seem to be breathing.

"I really didn't understand any of it, what the situation really was, until I was fourteen. I kept the secret, feeling guilty pretty often, without really getting the point. Then I started to realize just how less complicated our lives seemed if our parents were at least still together. It was easier keeping it a secret, then. Most times I just forgot about it; Mom and Dad were so good at creating the façade. Mom was away so much that Dad didn't even have to act the part of the husband and she didn't have to play the wife. As long as they were parents, they were there. Dad tended to work longer shifts whenever Mom was around, making it easier to hide when you became older and far more observant.

"Bells, please don't be mad at any of us, though. It was all in your best interest. We just wanted to make sure you could grow up comfortably."

I took a shuddering breath, leaning into Edward's side again. He held onto me tightly as I ran over this long list of information. Tears slipped down my cheeks and I turned my face away from my father and brother as I lifted my glasses and wiped my tears away. Edward pulled me into his lap, or maybe I crawled into it. Either way, I needed to be closer to him.

His hand brushed through my hair soothingly as his other one ran up and down my back. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned my face into the crook of his neck, taking in deep breaths of his scent. I held back my sobs as I continued to process every word, until finally I could speak.

"I…I think…I always knew," I said softly. I had always known in some way or another. All was quiet, so I continued. "When I was little…I…I didn't _always _sleep through the night. Sometimes…I would go…into your room because I was scared…I would trip over something that wasn't there before…and that wasn't there in the morning. One night I tried to figure it out…it felt like another bed, and Dad was asleep on it. Then there was the bed that Mom got in her studio in the attic when I was a teen. At night, she would go to sleep up there…I would hear her go up the steps really late, then the springs would squeak, and then she wouldn't move again…

"You both never wore wedding bands, either. I remember when my teacher, Mrs. Bachrach, used to hold my hand when she would walk me to the playground…I always used to feel the ring on her hand. I'd asked her what it was for…and she told me everyone who's married wears a ring on that finger on that hand to represent their union. But neither you nor Mom ever wore one." My voice was growing a little stronger as I continued to speak, my tone a little more knowing and accepting with each word.

"And then there was always talk around Forks…women would gossip about you guys. They would say stuff about Emmett and I being born out of wedlock, or seeing Mom on a date with some guy in Port Angeles. I always heard stuff like that, and it always made me wonder.

"When I would go with Mom to California and stay with her for a few weeks at her apartment there, she would tell me to go to bed early, and then about an hour after I went into my room, some guy would come around…It wasn't always the same guy, but Renee would always say stuff like, 'We have to be quiet. My daughter can't know about this.'"

I blushed. "I never really knew what they were doing…although I think I kind of figured it out…er…recently.

"And Mom wasn't around much. It seemed whenever she was, you were both so tense, and then when she was away, Dad, you could breathe so much easier. You were more joking and free and fun when she was out. I didn't see you much, either, when she was here. You were always doing long days of errands or getting called into the station.

"So…Yeah, I think I kind of always knew…just didn't want to acknowledge it." My little quiet, vulnerable rant was finally finished and I snuggled further into Edward's warm, welcoming body as I whispered one final question on the subject. "Why, after eighteen years of keeping up this illusion, are you telling me now?"

"Because, Bella, you need to know," Charlie and Emmett both answered. "You've grown up, and we can't keep living in this lie forever." There was a momentary silence before it was broken again.

"Bella, there's more," Emmett said sadly, and I groaned as my very quiet Edward reached up and wiped tears from my cheeks.

"What else could there be?" I asked.

"Mom isn't going to be here this weekend…"

"I know that."

Charlie and Emmett both took a deep breath before Emmett finished what he was saying. "Because she's with her boyfriend, visiting his sister in the hospital."

I nodded quietly. "Okay."

"You're not upset, Bella?" Charlie questioned.

I shook my head. "If it wasn't that, it would be something else. Besides, whatever makes her happy is okay with me."

"Alright, sweetheart," he answered uncertainly, but it sounded like there was more to say.

I took a deep breath and chanced saying what I was sure he needed to hear. "Dad, you know I want you to be happy, too, right?"

He laughed lowly. "Yeah, Bells, I know."

"And that means you can find a girlfriend. It won't upset me, honestly." My parents were rarely in the same room when I was growing up. It may be difficult to know that they were truly separated all of that time, but I'd still known it, whether I had previously accepted it or not. Besides, that didn't matter. What was more important was that they were both happy.

He laughed again. "I know that too, Bella."

Something in his voice made me think that he _was _dating something. "Will she be coming to Thanksgiving?" I asked.

Emmett snickered, and I was sure it was because of Charlie's face. But it made sense that he was dating someone. The reasons for the small changes all throughout the kitchen. The more affectionate side of him coming out. The happier demeanor. The more free side of him. The more social side of him.

"Really, Dad, it's okay."

"You wouldn't mind her coming?" he asked quietly.

"I'd like her to come," I replied. I wasn't sure if I'd mind, but I'd deal. I wanted to meet her.

"I'll ask her tomorrow and see if she's willing."

I nodded, then stood. "I…I think I'm going to go upstairs now," I told them as Edward stood up beside me and took my hand. "Goodnight."

They both chorused quiet goodnights and Edward and I went up to my bedroom. We both changed quickly, Edward into his sleep pants and t-shirt, me into mine. He lay on his back and then pulled me on top of him. I placed my head on his shoulder and heaved a deep sigh.

"Are you tired, love?" he asked. They were the first words out of his mouth all night. His arms slid around my back and his soft hands began to rub circles into my lower back.

"Not tired enough," I replied, because that was true. Today was emotionally draining, but my head was turning. I wasn't ready to fall asleep just yet.

He was pensive for a moment before he opened his mouth to speak. I could feel the vibrations of his chest as his velvet voice questioned, "How did Alice not know you were blind at first? I've always kind of wondered and haven't been able to figure it out yet."

I smirked at his attempt to find a new subject, leaning up and kissing his jaw. I picked up the sunglasses I'd placed on the side table and held them up for him to see. "She thought these were just a fashion statement, and I acted just like any other normal student around her." I shrugged and lay the glasses back in their place.

"Hmmm…but there must have been more to it than that. Alice isn't one to be so unobservant."

"Well," I started with a frown, propping my head up as I used my arms as a pillow on his chest. My chin rested comfortably on my crossed forearms. "Growing up blind in a small town where everyone else is normal wasn't as easy as my parents would have liked to think it'd be. Kids weren't kind to those who were different, and _everyone_ knew I was different. They would talk, they would tease, they would trick. They thought it was fun to 'play' with the defective kid." I felt Edward's entire body cringe at me calling myself that, and I began to rub his chest softly where one of my hands lay. It was soothing for the both of us.

"I always tried to act as normal as I could. I figured that if I didn't seem so different, they wouldn't have anything to make fun of me for. I worked hard to learn every surface of this town so well that I wouldn't need my cane. I asked Rosalie to help me dress just like the other girls. I trained my ears so that they were even more efficient than most people's eyes. I learned to act like I could see everything, even if I couldn't. I strove to be normal."

"Did you succeed?" he asked softly.

I shrugged. "Sometimes."

He continued rubbing circles in my back and I moved so that my ear rested directly over his heart. It thrummed against my ear at a steady rate, mingling with the quiet beat I could hear from my own. It was such a simple thing, yet so peaceful, that I just laid there for a long time, listening intently to his beautiful heart.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you, too," he replied.

I heard footsteps, the front door closing, a car starting, and then footsteps again. Emmett had clearly left, and my father was walking up the steps, but stopped at my door. As the door frame creaked quietly, I let my eyes slide closed. Charlie had always tried his hardest to make me comfortable with my eyes, but anything he ever tried was completely reversed by the kids at school the next day.

Edward's heart continued to beat in his chest, each time reverberating within the shell of my ear.

"You used to do that when you were a little girl, Bells," my dad said to me sadly. "I would sit down on the couch and you would jump into my lap, and then just stay there for hours, listening to my heart. You'd say, 'It's the music of life'. Your smile would be so serene, and sometimes it'd lull you to sleep."

I smiled at the memory. I could easily recall doing that quite a few times. It had been something I loved to do. "The music of life, the music of love, the music of the soul," I whispered softly.

"Goodnight, Bella."

"I love you, Daddy," I told him as he walked away.

"Love you, too, Bells. Love you, too."

And I really knew he did.


	20. That Boy

_a/n: WE WON STATES SECTIONALS!!!!! WOOHOO! We have group semis/finals on Wednesday at Mercer County Park at 11 AM, so any Jersey peeps living around there who want to come and cheer me on, come and check it out! We'll be playing Leonia in our semifinal round, and we expect to win that. Later in the day, then, we'll play either Point Pleasant Beach or Roselle Park. We creamed Roselle Park this season, and we're expecting it to be PPBhs, and we really think we've got a big chance at winning our GROUP FINAL!!! Whoot Whoot! So, we played our sectional finals at MKA courts (neutral territory and all that shit) and it was kinda nice to finally win on MKGay's courts. We nearly beat this prissy private school a few weeks ago, but unfortunately their 2nd singles player cheated in order to take the match in 3 sets. Bitch. That girl and I are no longer friends...**Now, if I win groups on Wednesday, I will give TWO updates on Wednesday or Thursday night!** So, how many people have facebook? Huh? Well, how many people here are creepers on facebook? I know I creep on my friends. So much fun, haha. :P I know I definitely have a facebook obsession, but I have an even worse obsession with FML and MLIA. A week ago, I saw this one, which I just had to remember, so I copied it down into my cell phone. It made me laugh, although I don't quite agree with their assumption of Edward's sexuality._

_**"Today, while walking through a haunted maze, a character dressed as a vampire emerged from behind the wall in an attempt to scare my friends and I. Instead of screaming, my friend reacted to his scare tactic with "You don't look like Edward Cullen" to which he replied, "That's because I'm a straight vampire." It made my day. MLIA"**_

_So, there's my twilight MLIA of the week._

_I got my braces off about two weeks ago. I now have to go back and get a fucking retainer. FML._

_Has anyone ever heard of the program "Heroes and Cool Kids"? Well, I'm one of the HCKs at my school, and it's a good opportunity and everything, but it's also kinda geeky. I don't feel like a loser at all. Do you hear my sarcasm? Oh and 80 percent of the HCKs spend their weekend nights drinking. We're all 15. This program is talk out against sportsmanship, bullying, and, hey, what's this, ohmigod! Substance abuse too! I'm pretty sure they should all be thrown out of the program for that, since I'm pretty sure alcohol is considered one of those "abused substances". hmmmmm..._

_Did you know that brownies are racist? They are. Because if they're white, they're called blondies. Clearly, brownies are the only discriminating pastry. Cupcakes, on the other hand, welcome all flavors, colors, frosting, and decorate sprinkles. Thank you, Ryan and Lolly, for explaining that to all of us._

_I'm taking US History I honors right now. This is the exact paragraph in my books, talking about Puritan communities and families._

_**"It is a mistake to regard the Puritans as 'puritanical'. Although adultery was a capital crime in New England, Puritans celebrated sexual expression within marriage. Courting couples were allowed to engage in 'petting,' and married couples were expected to enjoy sexual relations."**_

_This isn't the first time that my history textbooks have attempted to talk about SEX without using the word SEX. It's so fucking awkward, but at the same time it's funny as hell. BTW, that little bit...absolutely completely unnecessary._

_**Final thing that I need from you. I produce a music segment (on TV) at my school on a weekly basis. My plans for this week is to do two new releases (already selected) and two 'oldies'. I'm not much of one for those amazing oldies songs from the eighties and whatnot simply because of sound quality and a lack of a full projection. But, I know that at least half of you will have an opinion to offer me. Message it. Write it in a review. I don't care, but send me a song name and the singer/band to help a girl out. thankees.**_

_Okay, lastly, sorry for only giving some of you previews. Computers are fickle. I'll leave it at that._

_This chapter is a lot of fun to start out with, and then there's a nice seriousness (very important, though smallish) thrown in here. enjoy!_

_xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_

**Edward's POV**

"Ack! Stop it!" Bella cried, laughing as she pulled back from me.

I laughed and caught her easily before attacking her lips with my own, licking off the apple cinnamon on her lips from the pie we'd just popped into the oven.

"Christ, you guys are disgustingly cute!" Alice complained.

I pulled back from my giggling Bella without letting go of her, sticking my tongue out at my twin sister in a mature manner. I was just glad I could put a smile on my Bella's face. She had a heart breaking expression on her face as Emmett and Charlie told her the truth about her parents' relationship the evening before.

"You're just jealous," Bella quipped, mimicking my gesture.

Alice rolled her eyes as Jasper chuckled, setting the timer. "I don't do cute," Alice replied dryly, reminding me of a bookmark I'd gotten her back in sixth grade with a fuzzy little puppy, a pink bow tied in its hair, with that exact saying in a thought bubble above it.

Bella hopped up onto a section of the counter that was clean and swung her legs, her heels hitting the cabinets every so often. "So what _do_ you do, then, Alice?" Bella inquired innocently.

"Jasper," Ally answered, smirking, laughing as a loud groan accompanied my cringe.

Jasper continued to snicker and I leaned against the counter beside Bella who was laughing right along with Alice. "You're pure evil," I whispered into Bella's ear, pouting. Her hand went to my face and she felt across my expression, laughing even harder in response.

"Awwww, you're so cute, _Eddie_," she cooed at me. Alice and Jasper broke into further hysterics as I growled at Bella playfully. "Should I be afraid?" she asked Alice in mock worry.

"Terrified," I answered for her in all seriousness, not giving Bella a chance before I'd lifted her up off the counter, away from the very hot stove and oven, and began tickling her sides. She cried in laughter, calling out for mercy.

Finally, Alice and Jasper decided that Bella had had enough and began tickling me. I'd never been particularly ticklish, but I relented for Bella's sake as she panted, trying to catch her breath after my attack.

Bella breathed a final laugh before grabbing a dishrag and wetting it. She walked over to the counter that we had been using to make our pies and began wiping it down while Jasper started gathering up dishes and washing them in the sink. I went to grab another dishrag when something wet and heavy landed on top of my head. I squeaked and jumped three feet in the air in surprise before spinning around to see Bella and Alice doubled over in laughter directly beside each other. Alice leaned into Bella for support.

"Which one of you threw this?" I asked with tight lips as I took the dishrag off my head.

They didn't stop laughing as Alice raised her hand and Bella pointed at my little sister, poking her in the sides. Alice squealed as they continued to laugh in response to Bella's poke in the ribs, and I took advantage of their distraction to walk over and shove the rag down the back of Alice's shirt. Immediately, she stopped laughing and stood straight up, her head nearly knocking into Bella's, only missing by half a centimeter.

Realizing her partner in crime was no longer laughing and that Jasper and I were the ones chuckling now, Bella straightened up too with confusion on her face.

"Ali, are you—"

But before Bella could finish her sentence, Alice shrieked, "EDWARD ANTHONY! YOU HAD BETTER RUN! NOW!"

I didn't waste a second before I bolted out the back door, into the strong outside winds. I was hardly off the patio when Alice's tiny body had tackled me to the frost covered ground and pinned me down. Jasper was laughing heartily as he stood in the doorway, explaining to a laughing Bella what had just happened.

Alice's fists were pounding into my chest unrelentingly as I continued to laugh at her until finally Bella came out and pulled her off of me, straddling my stomach with a smirk. I groaned and my eyes closed in an automatic response to the position as she scooted back just a little. Before I realized, something cold and wet smacked my face and Bella hopped off of me, laughing loudly with Alice and stumbling back to the door, running into the frame before finally making it inside. I sat in surprise as I wiped my face off, realizing she'd slathered the apple cinnamon pie filling on my face.

When I looked up, I saw Jasper with the same stunned expression and goo on his face as Bella and Alice licked their hands, giggling nonstop. "That's for laughing at me, Jazzy-poo," Alice clarified teasingly as she and Bella high-fived with their still sticky hands. They disappeared into the kitchen to wash them off, and Jasper and I knew better than to try to retaliate against our girlfriends.

We both went to the sink and washed our faces off, chuckling at our predicaments. We were all planning on changing anyway before dinner, since we had various pie ingredients on our shirts, so we were unconcerned about our clothing as water dripped off of our faces and onto the collars of our t-shirts.

"Isn't it a little early for this shit?" Emmett asked, walking into the room and taking in the mess we made of the kitchen and ourselves.

Bella hopped over to her brother and jumped into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek. She acted as though nothing had happened last night, though I knew for a fact she was still upset with her family for lying to her. "It's never too early to bake a pie, big brother. Besides, you'll thank us for this later."

She then dropped herself down to the floor and back to the counter which Alice had just finished wiping down. The two of them whispered about something as Charlie came into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. "Isn't it a little early for all of this?" he questioned groggily.

"Geez, Em, look at that. You're starting to sound even more like an old man than you did the other day," Bella teased, causing all of us to laugh, though Alice and Jasper couldn't truly appreciate the humor as they hadn't been present at the moment Bella was referring to.

"Shut up," Emmett quipped, but a smile was on his face.

"Yes, oh old one."

"Now, oh blind one."

Bella, Emmett, and Charlie laughed while Alice, Jasper, and I winced. We still didn't laugh so freely at a joking comment like that, but we were getting more used to the inconsiderate jokes that spewed from Emmett's mouth. The man had no filter.

"Mmmm, smells good," Charlie commented after a moment of quiet, sniffing the air.

Bella inhaled deeply and her face lit up happily. "Nothing like homemade pie to really make a house smell like home," she remarked softly. I smiled and walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her waist and resting my head on her shoulder. I inhaled her scent, ignoring the tempting aroma of the baked goods we'd worked so hard to produce.

"Mmmm…smells downright delicious," I whispered in her ear, making her giggle as her neck flushed with a deep red.

"Ooooo, Bella's blushing," Emmett and Alice sang.

"Did he say something romantically sweet?" Alice asked.

When Bella said nothing and just cuddled into my embrace, Emmett asked, "Or was it something smokin' _hot_?"

I noticed Charlie slip away and leave us to our college student chatter.

Bella blushed in response to what her brother had said, and while what I said may not have been 'smokin' hot' or 'romantically sweet', Bella still understood my implications, or so I hoped.

"Busted!" Alice and Emmett chirped. I rolled my eyes.

"Ignore the wonder twins," I muttered in Bella's ear and she laughed again. I was about to speak again when the phone rang. Emmett and Alice had already engaged themselves in conversation, Bella was trapped in my arms, and Jasper was leaning against the counter observing his girl in her hyper-chattery-ness. I was nearest the phone, and Bella shrugged when I asked if I should answer it. So, I lifted the receiver.

"Swan residence, Edward speaking. Who is this please?" I answered as Bella smirked at my formal greeting. I squeezed her around the middle and grinned at her.

"Hello, Edward. This is Renee Dwyer. Might I speak with my daughter now, or am I interrupting something between the two of you?" a woman answered coldly. I was taken aback by her tone, but I quickly realized that this was Bella's mother and took a deep breath before replying to her kindly.

"Of course you might speak with Bella, _Miss Dwyer._" I stressed her name so that everyone else in the room heard me and would quiet down, though I knew Bella had already heard her mother greet me because she had such impeccable hearing.

Bella reached out and took the phone from me without another word. I released her in order to allow her the privacy she might like. I wasn't leaving the room. If she needed me, I would be right there for her. All she had to do was ask for me to return to her side.

**Bella's POV**

"Mom," I greeted shortly. I hadn't liked the tone she'd used with Edward at all. My morning had started off perfectly, and with those three single sentences she'd turned my mood around quite a bit. I also hadn't like her insinuation that Edward and I were doing something in the house that we shouldn't.

"Isabella, happy Thanksgiving!" she exclaimed cheerfully.

I sighed as I heard Edward engage himself in a ridiculous conversation with Jasper about playing football later in the mud. He wasn't going to return to me while I was on the phone; that much was clear. I supposed, however, that I was thankful he would allow me my solitude as I spoke with my mother.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Mom," I replied, defeated.

"What's with the sad tone, baby? Is something wrong? Is it that _boy_?"

_Is it that _boy_? _

I scoffed. "_That boy _means the world to me, _Mother_. I'd appreciate it if you could treat my _Edward_ with some form of respect when speaking with me. I would gladly do the same for you and your current boyfriend." I tried to speak firmly, but my voice wasn't as strong as I'd wished it would have been, at least not on the last sentence. It wasn't as though I was very capable of standing up to my mother, either.

"Sorry, Isabella," she apologized, not that she sounded very regretful. And why, oh why, did she need to use my full name? "I'm just looking out for my baby, that's all."

"Really, Mom, he's Emmett-approved. Heck, he even has Rosalie's and Dad's approval. I'm sure Dad's already run a background check and that Emmett has already threatened bodily injury. Rose has most likely thrown a few punches by now as a preview of what she could do. I don't need any more people looking out for me," I answered her in annoyance but with resignation clear in my tone as well.

"So…" she trailed off, likely attempting to change the subject. "How has your morning been?"

"Wonderful, actually. Edward, Jasper, Alice, and I baked pies for dinner tonight."

"Who are Alice and Jasper?"

"Didn't I tell you already?" I inquired. I had to have told her by now…how could I have not? But I realized, rather abruptly, that I really hadn't spoken more than twenty minutes with her in the past month. "I must not of. Hmmmm…well, Jasper is Rosalie's cousin and Edward's best friend. We're pretty close, too. Alice is one of my new best friends, Jasper's long time girlfriend, and Edward's twin sister. It's nice having so many friends."

"That's good, sweetheart, that you're extending your relationships to more people. I'm proud of you."

_Or you're just glad that your daughter has finally stopped being a hermit._

After ten more minutes of awkward conversation, I turned the phone over to Emmett and ventured back over into Edward's arms. Alice's bare feet padded along the linoleum kitchen floor, making little popping sounds before the oven door screeched open slowly and heat rushed into the room and against my skin. The fragrance of the pies swirled heavily into the kitchen's air and mixed with Edward's distinct scent. The combination had me feeling a little intoxicated to the point where I gripped onto Edward for support.

He held me tighter, anticipating my need for his hold, without even breaking concentration from his discussion. I was pretty sure the topic had moved to something along the lines of a book that Jasper had suggested Edward read, but I couldn't be sure.

My ears zeroed in on Emmett's conversation with Renee, ignoring Alice's cussing about getting 'hot, tasty goo' on her finger and the conversations between our boys. I could make out my mother's words and Emmett's whispers as they spoke, and while I knew that their conversation should have been private, I wanted to hear what they spoke about.

"Mom, Edward's cool. Quit worrying, would you?"

"I don't like this, Emmett. _That boy_ is going to hurt her sooner or later. I don't want my little girl going through that."

"Do you just want her to be alone all of her life? Because if Edward isn't worthy of her, no other guy is." I bit my lip as I listened to Emmett defending the man I loved. I was endlessly surprised on almost a daily basis by how easily accepting Em was of my relationship with Edward…but this was something entirely different than just purely acceptance.

"Of course I don't want her to be alone for the rest of her life, but she's only eighteen. You were lucky. You found Rosalie in middle school. But Bella isn't going to magically find the man she'll marry just yet."

"How do you know that, Mom?"

"Because I do. It's quite obvious. No boy is mature enough at that age to be able to have a relationship with someone like Isabella. She needs a man who can support her emotionally, and I doubt he can."

_Overprotective Mother say what?_

Emmett sighed heavily and stepped out of the room, the cord on the phone stretching far, so I could hear only his half of the conversation. "You're wrong. What's obvious is that Bella and Edward are meant to be together just as much as Rose and I are. It takes only one look at the two of them to be able to see that and—don't interrupt me, Mother, and I will pay you the same respect—she doesn't need a man who can support her emotionally just because you do…Don't give me that, you know it's true…You couldn't even tell your own daughter, the one you claim requires your protection from the world, the truth about you and Dad. How can she possibly trust even me when she can't trust you?" Emmett's voice was rising up a few levels and making me nervous.

"And if they do?...God, you're insufferable…I mean that in the _best _of ways, Mom, I assure you…Are we really going to begin this fight again, because I'm not in the mood for it…yes, again…We've had this argument twice in the past month, and you and Dad were discussing the same matter two nights ago…Happy Thanksgiving, go have fun with Phil, and I pray to God that someday you can tell Bella the truth about everything. I refuse to lie on your behalf from here on out…Yes, goodbye."

I pulled myself from Edward's grasp, walking toward Emmett's voice as quickly as possible. I wanted to know about the second half of his conversation. I wanted to know what he was lying about. What was the argument they constantly had? I heard Emmett groan the second the floorboard croaked beneath my hesitant step.

"How much did you hear?" he asked me as I leaned against his side, wrapping my arms around his waist to hug him.

"Enough to know you're still lying about something," I replied with a shrug.

He sighed and draped his arms around my shoulders. "Mom is with her boyfriend."

He said that last night. "Yeah, I know that already. They're at the hospital with his sister."

"That's the lie. They're not at the hospital, nor does he have a sister. They decided to spend Thanksgiving with _his _family, though." I could tell Emmett didn't like this guy, whoever he was.

I shrugged. "Like I said last night, if it wasn't for that reason, it'd be for another. It's okay, Em. This wouldn't be the first holiday she's missed."

"Yeah, I know. It's just…sometimes I wish things were easier."

I smiled up at him softly. "I always wish things were easier. It doesn't change anything. We just have to take what we get and make the best of it. Getting hung up on the challenge keeps you from completing the journey."

Emmett breathed in deeply, his ribcage expanding within my arms, and then exhaled heavily, blowing my hair all over the place. "When did you get so smart, little girl?" he asked, teasingly, with a chuckle.

"Probably around the same time you got so old," I answered, sticking my tongue out at him before darting back toward the kitchen.

"Oh no you don't!" he called after me. I squealed, giggling, as he caught me around the waist and everything seemed to return to normal.


	21. Thankful

_a/n: WE WON! GROUP I STATE CHAMPIONS IN NEW JERSEY!!!!! only 6 teams remain. Us (glen ridge), Millburn, Villa-Walsh, Haddonfield, Westfield, and Red Bank Catholic!!! Haha we are amazing!!!! I promised you guys 2 updates and you WILL get them. Here is the first, and the next will be up once I get it completely edited._

**Edward's POV**

I walked behind Emmett and Charlie, carrying one of the pies while Jasper and Alice carried the other two. Bella was tucked into my side, my free arm draped over her shoulders as we approached the 'Hale Mansion', as Bella lovingly referred to the large home where the Hales resided. We didn't even have to knock, Charlie simply opening the door with no qualms about entering another person's house without their permission.

Emmett led us to the kitchen where I could hear Rosalie speaking with another woman about her newfound free time. He snuck up on his girlfriend and I could hear Rose smack him upside the head before I rounded the corner to see her do it two more times. Bella laughed beside me, and I just smirked at Emmett who frowned at his ill received greeting.

There was another woman standing in the kitchen, smiling sweetly at Bella and I. She was clearly Rose's mother, just by looking at her one could see that. She had the same perfect blonde hair and her bone structure was nearly the same. She was just a few inches shorter, though that was likely due to her lack of high heels while Rosalie had an extreme pair strapped to her feet. Her smile wasn't quite like Rose's, but her eyes were an identical color. Her features weren't quite as fierce, but at the moment, here in her home, neither were Rosalie's.

"You must be Edward," she finally spoke, wiping her hands off with a towel before walking toward me and examining me with a scrutinizing eye. I swallowed loudly under her gaze as Bella squeezed my hand on her shoulder and Jasper set the pie I'd previously been holding on the counter.

"Yes, I'm Edward Cullen. It's nice to finally meet you, Missus Hale," I greeted nervously.

Suddenly, she smirked at me and then leaned into Bella's ear, saying something that caused my love to giggle and nod. Finally, she walked over to me and took my hand in both of hers. "Please, call me Jackie. And the pleasure is all mine. It's nice to finally meet the man who seems to have stolen little Bella's heart."

I chuckled. "No, no, no. You've gotten it all wrong. _She_ stole _mine_."

The girls all 'aw'ed and Bella placed a quick kiss on the back of my hand, still interlaced with her fingers and resting on her shoulder.

"Duuuuude, why do you have to make us look bad?" Emmett whined and I laughed.

"It's not intentional," I answered. "Maybe you should try and make yourself look good for once."

He huffed and walked out of the room, Jasper placing a kiss on Alice's temple with a chuckle and then following after the sulking ogre.

Rose, Alice, and Mrs. Ha—Jackie had begun on the work in the kitchen, most of the cooking looking to be done while Bella just peacefully sniffed the aroma-rich air.

"Smells good, doesn't it?" I asked her as I leaned back against the door frame, turning to face her as she stood directly in front of me. I placed my hands on her arms, rubbing up and down them mindlessly.

"Absolutely wonderful," she replied emphatically, nodding her head vigorously. I chuckled as my hands went up to cup her cheeks, preventing her from nodding so hard that she might hurt herself.

I leaned forward and brushed my lips across hers quickly, then kissed her forehead. "Go have your fun with the women. Don't huff too many vegetables. I love you." I jump out of her reach just in time to miss her swipe at me for my huffing comment.

"I love you, too, jerk," she called after me before scuttling away adorably.

She looked great in the outfit Alice had excitedly chosen for her earlier. She wore a mustard-brown turtleneck sweater dress with quarter sleeves, which fit her perfectly, accompanied by black stockings and comfy (as she had admitted reluctantly to my sister) but stylish flat boots. Her hair was straightened with the ends flipped out and her makeup was very natural, as per usual, but with more earthy tones than simply nude. She wore a gold bracelet on her wrist that she'd told me earlier was a gift from the Hales for this past Christmas, as well as a pair of matching earrings that had accompanied the bracelet her following birthday. Alice had painted Bella's nails a scarlet red and they were longer than usual.

She shooed me from over her shoulder and I finally decided to follow Emmett's booming voice to join the men. Sitting in a very well equipped entertainment room with expensive looking living room furniture were Charlie, Emmett, Jasper, and another man who was presumably Rosalie's father.

His hair was completely gray, a stark contrast to Jackie's, and he looked more like Emmett than he did Rosalie. I could see her in his smile, however, as he laughed at some ridiculous comment Emmett voiced, his loud guffaws nothing like Rose's ladylike giggles (and occasional snorts).

"There you are, Eddie! We were startin' to think you were lost," Emmett announced enthusiastically as I walked into the room, heading directly toward the empty seat next to Jasper.

"He wasn't lost. He was busy charming our women," Jasper replied mockingly.

"Dude, I don't plan on charming _your_ woman. That's incest," I quipped at my (in all likeliness) future brother. "Quite frankly, I don't think of my sister that way."

"So, boy, you're Edward?" Mister Hale questioned.

I nodded. "Edward Cullen, sir."

"Jonathan Hale, but just call me Joe. Oh, and none of that sir stuff, alright?"

"Of course."

He grinned at me. "So…" he leaned toward me conspiratorially. "Since you grew up with Alice, and spent a good amount of time with my nephew, Jasper, here…" he drew it out, making me wonder what his next words would be, "have you got any good, embarrassing stories to tell about them?"

My crooked grin lit up my face as I rubbed my hands together deviously. "When we were all sixteen…"

………………

"Emmett was itching for a week!" Charlie cried, laughing as tears streaked down his cheeks in merriment.

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks, Dad," Emmett mumbled in embarrassment as Charlie recalled Bella and Rosalie's retaliation for one of his many legendary pranks. In this situation, he had let loose a few creepy, crawly critters into Bella's room one night in high school when the two decided to have a Girls' Night. Their response was to put itching powder in all of Emmett's clothes, mix it into his muscle cream (which he'd used religiously in high school), and, most importantly, his favorite sock. Take note that this _sock_ wasn't worn on either of his feet.

I looked at his face and his cheeks were redder than I'd ever seen Bella's, making me burst out into a round of raucous laughter once again.

"That's nothing compared to what Alice did to Edward," Jasper replied, grinning over at me.

I groaned, knowing the story he was about to tell.

"Back after Alice and I first," Jasper started, but stopped for a second.

_Yeah, that's right. Fucker. Stop now before you dig yourself a hole._

He turned to look at me, then grinned. "When Alice and I were first together in an intimate manner, Edward wasn't the nice brother that Emmett was." I shot him a murderous look as I tried to hide myself in the seat cushions. I was afraid to look over at Charlie, who sat on the chair right beside me. When I heard a slight snicker at my reaction coming from that way, I looked up nervously to see Charlie with his brow raised looking at me.

"Edward beat the crap out of—"

"Watch your language, Jasper Whitlock!" Jackie shouted from the hallway where she'd been passing by.

"Sorry, Aunt Jackie," he mumbled repentantly.

When she was gone, he cleared his throat and continued. "Right, well, Edward pummeled the snot out of me. It was actually kind of funny, because I had no idea he had it in him. Anyway, when Alice saw the condition of my face and Edward's knuckles—which she probably wouldn't have really noticed had Edward not hissed the second he started to play that night—she was so pissed off that she practically birthed a full grown cow. If I hadn't dragged her out of the room and taken her outside to cool down, there would have definitely been Edward's blood on those precious, sparkly white piano keys.

"She decided she needed to retaliate." I went to stand up but Charlie grabbed my wrist and pushed me back toward my seat. I was sure he was enjoying my embarrassment, especially since I had defiled his beautiful daughter.

"She played sick three days later and stayed home from school. Esme was out of town and Carlisle was working a long shift at the hospital, so no one else was there as she then spent the next seven hours taking all of his jeans and cutting holes in the crotch of them, stealing all of his boxers, and replacing them with frilly pink underwear and thongs. She then decided that this just wasn't enough, so she cut out the butt of each pair too. She did the same with his sweatpants and shorts. That night, Edward went to bed without even a clue that she'd been in his room."

_I can't believe we're talking about underwear in front of the father of the woman I love._

I buried my face in my hands as I prepared for the next part.

"The next morning, when he found out, he just started screeching at the top of his lungs and cursing more than ever before. I was sitting at the kitchen table when he came down in his towel holding up a pair of jeans and the girly panties. As I howled in laughter, he glared at me, trying to get Esme to do _anything_ about it. She was hardly capable of holding back from laughing as she kindly told Edward, in a way only that wonderful woman could do, that it served him right, that he had to wear them until after school, at which point he could go to the store and buy new clothes, and that, no, he could not stay home.

"Edward trudged upstairs and searched for an hour, trying to find anything that wasn't damaged, until finally he came back downstairs in a pair of jeans with that pink underwear shining for the whole world to see through the openings. I can't recall ever laughing so hard!"

Everyone started laughing, and I could even hear laughter from the kitchen as Alice came bolting out toward the den with a smile on her face. "Wait! That's not even all of it!"

I frowned at her and glared, warning her silently not to do this to me, but she just winked and finished the story. "When we all got to school, every student, and I do mean every student, was gathered around the front doors of the high school. Hanging down on wires from the roof were Edward's boxers and briefs, sewn together, with glittery pink, yellow, and silver cursive reading, 'Yeah, it's 'cause I'm gay. Right Ty? –EAC'. Which, of course, was perfect because he'd been accused just the week before that he was gay because he'd refused to date Lilly, Queen Bee, because he knew that Ty wanted to go out with her. That'd been his answer. It sounded so wrong!"

Alice collapsed in a fit of giggles on Jasper's lap and I heard Bella's melodious laughter coming from the hallway as I groaned again. She began making her way into the room, no longer laughing. Instead, she had a very determined, very concentrated look on her face as she tilted her head to the side as though she were listening. While the others continued with their breathless guffaws, I stood and walked to her. I kissed her forehead softly and took her hand in mine, returning the adorable smile she gave me.

"You think that's funny, love?" I asked her.

"Yep. Very much."

"Just wait. I can pull pranks with the best of them," I whispered in her ear, pulling her closer to me in a hug. She instantly tensed in my arms and I, of course, immediately knew why. "Don't worry, Bella, I won't get you back just for laughing. Relax."

She sighed into my shoulder and nodded as her body eased to a more natural feeling.

"What are you two whispering about over there?" Emmett asked.

"Nothing that should concern you, Em," Bella replied, though the words were muffled by my shoulder.

I released her and started walking back to my seat, noticing that Alice had long since left the room and the men were now watching the football game. Bella followed me to my seat, and when I sat, she plopped down into my lap. My eyes grew wide, knowing Charlie was sitting not two feet away from us, but he just turned and winked at me. Bella sighed happily, not even realizing the small exchange, as she wrapped her arms around my neck and snuggled into my embrace.

"Aren't you supposed to be in the kitchen, Bells?" Emmett queried, eying the two of us.

She huffed, pouting. "They kicked me out."

"Sniffed too many veggies?" I asked her, earning a playful smack to the side of my head.

"Alice took over all of my usual jobs, and they won't let me cook." She frowned as she moved her head in the direction of the kitchen, loudly saying, "Because apparently I'm incapable of melting a stick of butter in the microwave!"

"Shut up, Bella!" Alice and Rose shouted from the kitchen.

"Hmph!"

I chuckled and kissed her forehead. "Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the testosterone, love," I told her.

**…………………**

**Bella's POV**

"Dinner smells absolutely incredible!" I exclaimed gleefully as Edward helped me to a seat at the crowded dining room table. It was usually incredibly spacious, but today we'd added three more guests and a lot more food.

The thick aroma of the meal permeated the air, overwhelming my senses in the most pleasurable manner. I sighed happily as I took it all in.

"Only because Alice didn't attempt to help," Rose snickered.

"Hey, I take offense to that!" Alice protested.

"Come on, Al. You know darn well it's the truth that you can't boiling water without burning it," Edward goaded.

I was sure she made some sort of gesture, and because there were adults here, I assumed she'd stuck her tongue out.

"Whatever."

I could hear dishes beginning to clink against each other as people started passing them around, and before I could ask Rose, on my other side, to help me with my dish, Edward's hand brushed my upper arm and lifted my plate away from me.

"What would you like, love?" he asked me.

I hesitated for a moment, as most of the table seemingly had judging by the lack of sounds other than breathing. "I…erm…Some turkey…and stuffing…" I began telling him, and before I finished with the third thing on my list, Edward had placed the food down before me. It only took some gentle prodding with my fork as well as a bit of subtle sniffing to realize Edward had set my plate perfectly with my usual requests without me even telling him. Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans with carrots and corn, candied yams, and, of course, a healthy helping of gravy.

"Thank you," I leaned over and whispered into his ear. I heard him swallow whatever he'd been chewing as I pressed a kiss into his cheek, a smile on my lips.

"What for?" he asked me as Emmett's knife painfully scratched against his plate like nails on a chalkboard. Edward and I both cringed in reaction, and Emmett muttered his apology to everyone at the table.

I cleared my throat then and responded, "For plating my dinner."

He shrugged, his shoulder under my hand. "No problem, love. It's what I do."

Conversation progressed as we all began to eat, and I happily talked with Rosalie and Jackie about life these days. In truth, with Edward around, Rose had spent much less time with me. She no longer came over every day to pick out my clothes; Edward helped me out now whenever he was over if I needed any help. A very small number of those nights together – so small I could count them on only one hand – were spent doing anything other than snuggling or sleeping. On the nights we spent apart and he didn't stop by for a quick breakfast together in the morning, I would easily just pick out a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt.

Em and Rose had also stopped coming over every night. Edward and I were generally together, and while they still showed up on occasion, the four of us easily enjoying the time spent together, they generally enjoyed their newly received free time. The only time every week that we were assured would be spent together was during the hours we spent in the gym working on soccer. I'd been working very hard lately, but I didn't enjoy it as much as I did beep baseball.

When we got back, Rose, Alice, and I would be having a Girls' Day/Sleepover before finals descended upon us, while Em, Jazz, and Edward would be going out to some new sports bar they'd heard about through the grape vine.

"So Charlie, where's Sue?" Joe asked rather loudly as everyone stopped and I turned my face toward my dad's seat.

I could only assume that Sue was Dad's new girlfriend.

He cleared his throat before answering, "She's with her son and their friends in La Push," Charlie answered. I heard him quickly scoop up a bite of mashed potatoes or yams or something else mushy, effectively ending that conversation.

The men then began discussing, very animatedly, about different football teams. Already, they were stating who would be fighting in the upcoming Super Bowl and then going into a very difficult-to-follow conversation about what had happened between the Giants and Patriots, and the Steelers and the Cardinals. I had listened to the games, but hadn't paid enough attention to contribute.

I could hear Edward speaking to Charlie on his other side, facing away from me. Rosalie was engaged with Jackie and Alice, the three of them conversing about _Guess_'s upcoming line. I sat quietly as I forked a candied yam and carried to my mouth. The sweet sugary coating caused me to hum in delight.

When I swallowed, my mouth was rather dry. Unfortunately, I wasn't quite sure where my glass was. The table had already been set perfectly by Alice much earlier while I wasn't paying her much mind, and Jackie, as always, had told her to use the wine glasses. I knew the glasses were expensive, and one wrong move would easily tip them and break them…that or spill my grape soda (yum) all over the table. Not wanting to disturb anyone, I tentatively reached out for it, but my hand had hardly crossed over the table before I felt the stem of the glass on my palm.

Edward's voice and face were still pointed away from me as he spoke without breaking from his rant about some football player, but I could feel the intense heat rolling off his hand as he gave me the wine glass. When I had a hold of it, he released it and continued eating, Charlie cutting in to give his two cents on their exchange.

I just sat with my head tilted, wondering how he could have known what I needed, once again, without me even asking. It was as though he was just so attuned to me that our minds were on the same wave length.

Huh.

I sipped from my glass and set it back down carefully, suddenly too deep in thought to really care about eating. Honestly, I was a little too busy falling even deeper in love with the man sitting directly beside me.

**…………………**

**Edward's POV**

I sat once again with Bella in my lap as I wondered why she had been so quiet. Her head was on my shoulder, turned in toward my neck but her face was still inches away from being buried in it. Her glasses had slipped just a bit away from her eyes and I noticed they were closed. I ran my fingers beneath the rims of the sunglasses lightly and her eyes fluttered open immediately as she smiled up at me adoringly.

"Hello, Beautiful," I greeted her.

"Hello," she returned, kissing my palm that I then rested upon her cheek.

"A penny for your thoughts?" I asked her.

She shrugged. "Just thinking about the same thing as always."

"Mmmm, and what is that?" I inquired, nuzzling her face with mine, causing her to giggle.

"You. Always you." I smiled and pecked her lips chastely before laying my head back on the comfortable chair we sat in. Bella's legs were haphazardly hanging off the arm of the chair and her back was pressed against the other. She was leaning mostly into my chest, however, and her warmth seeped through my dress shirt.

"I should hope these thoughts of me are of good things," I replied and she nodded.

"Yes, very good things." She leaned into my neck to kiss the skin there chastely as all of us 'kids' watched a movie on the Hales' incredible TV. _Pieces of April_. It's a pretty funny movie. Bella wasn't really paying attention, though, and I couldn't blame her considering that she couldn't really see what was going on, nor could she easily understand just by sound. And I was more enraptured by her than I was the movie.

I ran my fingers under the rims of her glasses again, hating that we weren't alone so that I could see her eyes.

Suddenly, Bella began to shift around almost uncomfortably, and I immediately withdrew my hand, making her frown.

"Is something wrong?" I asked her, concerned.

She shook her head no, raising her hand up to her face before changing direction and running that hand up to my hair. She ran her fingers through my hair as she wore a contemplative look before determination suddenly overcame her features. With one final run of her fingers through my hair, her hand returned to her face. She slowly pushed her glasses up onto the top of her head, biting her lip enticingly.

My eyes widened as I realized what she was doing, she took a deep breath and remained with her eyes closed. I wondered if she was leaving it at that while I stared, but she then careful cracked one eye open, and the other followed just seconds later as she stared up at me. I gazed back, and while I knew I was the only one who could see in this situation, I swore she was looking past all that was on the outside and examining every speck of my soul. It was always this way when we did this. I now understood why Jasper and Alice could just sit there for hours doing nothing but staring at the other.

I laced my fingers with hers and bent down to place a kiss on her lips. It lasted longer than I expected, and when I pulled back, our lips made a loud _smack_. We both snickered at that as everyone suddenly turned to look at us, and Rose and Emmett gasped. Alice looked on in shock, and Jasper just smiled softly at the two of us.

"Bella…your glasses," Rose commented in a surprised tone.

Bella shrugged and snuggled into my shoulder, gripping my shirt with her free hand. She didn't close her eyes, determination still written in her features, but the fact that she was biting her lip and was slightly tense told me she wasn't as confident as she wished she could be at that moment.

I reached up to her face and carefully freed her lip from her teeth, bending down to place a soft kiss on that worried flesh before pulling back and rubbing soft circles into her hand and back.

She relaxed instantly against me and smiled thankfully. I pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead and then leaned back in my chair while Rose and Emmett just watched her with beaming smiles. Alice's shocked expression quickly mirrored Jasper's soft smile at the sight of us, and I smiled at my beautiful girlfriend with nothing but love surely shining in my eyes.

I certainly knew what I was thankful for this year.


	22. Show Me Your World

_a/n: so you all saw my author's note before. no need for explanation. second chappie. XOXO Jordi Brooke XOXO_

**Edward's POV**

I carried Bella's suitcase up to her apartment while she followed close behind, smiling as she unlocked the door.

"Home, sweet home," she mumbled, turning the knob and holding the door open.

_I shook hands with Charlie and he pulled me into that sacred man-hug, patting my back and speaking into my ear._

_"Take good care of her, boy. You're doing her so much good."_

_"I will, sir," I promised. "I couldn't not. She means everything to me."_

_"Thank you."_

_He pulled back and moved over to his daughter who had tears on her cheeks. I loved her even more in that moment, because it was clear how much her family meant to her, and that was an important value to me. She lived within a short driving distance, and yet, I knew, she could hardly stand leaving her father again to go back to college._

_She hugged herself to him tightly, burying her face in his shoulder. I heard a sob escape her, my heart clenching at the sound, and her father's soft words. She promised to return soon for another visit, and he kissed her forehead a few times, just as reluctant to release her as she was to leave. Finally, with one last squeeze, he let her go._

_"Go on, baby girl, you've got your own place to go back to now, and a long drive ahead of you to get there. I'll still be here when you're ready to come back home."_

_She nodded. "I love you, Daddy." She pecked his cheek before she came over to me. I wrapped my arm around her waist and kissed her temple as her father replied in kind._

_Opening the door to the car, I helped her take her seat and ran around to my side, hopping into the car and starting up the engine. With one last look at the house she'd grown up in and her father standing on the porch, I drove off, following the directions Emmett had offered. The rain began pelting down on the hood, and Bella's tears slid down her cheeks as she pressed a hand to her cool window and whispered goodbye._

She walked into her bedroom and I placed her suitcase onto her dresser while she came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. Her cheek pressed between my shoulder blades and I could tell that she'd already rid herself of her glasses. I gripped one of her hands in mine, rubbing it softly while I opened up her suitcase and began to help her unpack.

_"Thank you, love," I spoke. Bella reached out and turned down her iPod._

_"What for?" I could see her eyebrows were furrowed as I looked at her through my peripheries._

_I placed my hand over hers where it rested on her thigh, and she flipped it over, lacing our fingers together. "For letting me into your world."_

_"_You_ are my world, Edward," she answered, a small smile curving her lips._

_I chuckled. "As you are mine, though I meant letting me know you more, what you are outside of Seattle, outside of college."_

_I lifted our joined hands to my lips and kissed each of her knuckles. "Would you really like to know my world?" she asked me. I could see on her face that an idea was forming in her beautiful mind._

_"I want to know everything, Love. I want you to show me all of it."_

_I set our hands between us on the center console, and she rubbed the back of my hand, contemplating before finally lifting my hand to her lips and kissing it the same way I had hers._

_"Then I'll show you it, Edward, all of it. Just the way that I know it."_

I turned around so I could face her and leaned down, kissing her nose.

"Hello, beautiful."

She grinned up at me. "Hello to you, too."

"Would you like to do something?"

She swayed back and forth, her face toward the ceiling while she wore a contemplative look. I waited patiently with her, my arms linked at the base of her back while her hands sat on my biceps, tapping while she thought. Finally, she turned her face back to me.

"Why don't I...call Doctor Stewart now? Before I forget?" she suggested.

I leaned my face down so that my cheek pressed against hers, nodding. She giggled as the stubble on my face tickled her skin, trying to pull back as I chuckled and hugged her to me tightly, running my cheek all along the side of her face and neck, loving the sound of her perfect little giggles. Finally, I relented and loosened my hold.

She reached into my front pocket and pulled out my cell phone, handing it to me. "Would you mind dialing?" she asked, her cheeks reddening. "I'm not used to your phone and mine is kind of dead."

I kissed her forehead as my answer. "What's the number?"

She rattled off the digits, and then I handed the phone over to her. "Is your schedule basically the same next week?" she asked me as she waited.

"No major changes, just a project that will require me to set up a few meetings with the other kids in my group," I answered easily.

She nodded just as I heard a female answer the phone, "Doctor Stewart's office, how may I help you?"

Bella seemed plenty familiar with the woman she spoke with, answering some personal questions and asking a few of those sorts of questions as well. She wiggled out of my grasp, taking my hand and pulling me out to her living room. She picked up the TV remote from its usual place and handed it to me, sitting us both on the couch. She placed her head in my lap as she started talking days and times that worked well for an appointment and asking for a call the day before as a reminder and for confirmation. She then said goodbye and hung up, handing the device back to me.

"So?" I asked.

"Tuesday at 5?" she questioned.

"Sounds good," I answered before turning on the TV and putting it on the evening news.

We sat in silence for a little while before changing and settling into her comfortable bed. Sleep came easily, as it always did when I had Bella settled in my arms, right where she belonged and where I was happiest with her being.

~*~

"And...there," Greg said to himself as he pasted the last of the pictures we'd selected into the power point.

"Shift it over to the right a little," Dane ordered, turning his head to the side and studying the slide.

I looked at my watch and sighed as I stood, relieved that I could finally go. I hated that I had to be here right now. I'd completed all of my stuff already, and they were just putting it all together. Putting together had been Greg's job, but Dane had insisted that Greg would mess it up. Those two couldn't get along, and I ended up playing mediator all afternoon.

"I'm done for the day, guys. Try not to totally destroy each other before you both leave, okay?" I started packing my things up.

"Where are you headed, Cullen? We've got to finish this," Dane asked in his annoying tone. I really didn't like the kid, but we'd been assigned groups.

Jamie, the only girl and fourth member of our four person group, piped up, "We're not done here. You can't go yet."

"I already told you guys I'd have to leave at four-thirty," I responded.

"Come on, we're almost done. Twenty minutes," Greg added.

"I've really got to go. I can't be late, okay?"

"What's so important that you'll leave your group to finish your work?"

"If you must know, my girlfriend has an appointment, and I promised her I'd drive her there," I answered, putting my papers into my folder and putting the folder into my bag.

"Oh, I've heard about your girlfriend. A real hottie, that one. Is it true she's blind?" Dane sneered.

I glared, tossing my cell into my bag and pulling out my keys.

"Yeah, she's blind. There's nothing wrong with that," I replied coolly.

"Oh, I bet that's just fine when you're screwing her. Does she blindfold you in bed, just to show you what it's like not to see?" I wanted to ignore him, but no one could talk about the woman I loved that way without getting on my nerves.

I walked over to him, leaning my face directly into his. "Breathe another word about her that way, and it'll be the last word you'll ever mutter."

I began to walk away, but I could hear his condescending laughter, and then he called out, "I'd like to see you try anything, Cullen."

My fist was an inch from his face when large hands caught me and kept me back.

"You go take my sister to the doctors, Edward. I've got this douche bag covered," Emmett spoke lowly in my ear. I didn't question why he was here. I just nodded as I glared at Dane and walked out of the library, clenching and unclenching my fists. I kicked the base of my car door before opening it and leaving to go get Bella.

She immediately sensed my mood when I greeted her, and did her bet to soothe me, but I didn't fully calm until we were sitting in Doctor Stewart's waiting room and I received a text message from Emmett asking if I minded only being a group of three, or if he'd have to wait until after the project was handed in.

Bella stroked my forearm lovingly and I finally settled, leaning back and draping my arm along the back of her chair. She smiled softly and kissed my neck, rubbing my thigh, now, instead. my fingers danced along her shoulder as time slowly ticked by and we softly spoke words between ourselves about what we would do for dinner in the evening or what our english professor was assigning. When they called her name, she placed another kiss on my neck and stood. I remained seated.

I was surprised when Bella grabbed my hand and dragged me out of my seat and down the hall, tapping her cane and being led by a nurse to an exam room.

She sat atop an exam chair while I took a seat in one of those annoyingly uncomfortable plastic chairs.

"Good afternoon, Bella," a woman, probably in her early fifties, greeted warmly as she walked into the room with a folder in her hands.

"Hi, Doctor Stewart."

The doctor stopped short when she saw me sitting in the room. She grinned at me. "Bella, who is this dashing young man?" she asked.

Bella smiled genuinely as she reached her hand out in my direction and I grabbed onto it, giving it a squeeze. I looked up at her beautiful face as she pulled her glasses off. "This my boyfriend, Edward Cullen. Edward, this is Doctor Stewart. She's been my doctor from the beginning."

I stood and extended my hand to Doctor Stewart. She shook it, then got done to business. She examined Bella's eyes before talking to Bella about a few different things. Finally, she wrote in her chart and then closed the folder. "Alright, we're all good here. No negative changes, so we're alright for now. Any questions for me?" When Bella shook her head but then shot a look in my direction, Doctor Stewart looked over at me. "Edward?"

I shrugged and shook my head. "I don't think so."

As we walked out of the door, Bella's hand in mine, Doctor Stewart quickly told me, "Whatever it is you're doing, keep doing it. I've never seen her so happy."

I smiled at her as Bella tugged me out into the hall, smirking at the doctor's words. She clearly knew the office better than that nurse had given her credit for. She walked with me out of the office and we traveled out to the parking garage. Bella kissed me soundly on the lips as I leaned over to buckle in her seatbelt, and I kissed her back just as fully, thanking her, once again, for letting me more into her world. She laughed at me.

"Don't thank me yet. There's still so much more I need you to see," she answered, grinning. I had a feeling she didn't literally mean that I'd be _seeing_ these things.

~*~

**Bella's POV**

It seemed we grew closer every moment of that car ride home, Edward and I. I was falling for him harder and harder every day, and I didn't think it was possible for me to love him any more than I already did, but every time I heard him nearby I was proven wrong.

Edward's thumb was lovingly rubbing circles on the inside of my knee as he drove. Today had been the first time that anyone outside of my family (Rosalie was of course considered family) had accompanied me to see Doctor Stewart. I'd done my best to hide how nervous I was, and it especially hadn't helped that Edward had been in a strange, tense mood. He calmed eventually, and that eased my nerves a bit, but I'd still been worried what he'd think coming into my appointment.

Of course, Doctor Stewart had run everything like she normally did. Except for one little thing. This had been the first time that she hadn't reminded me that I was still a strong candidate for eye surgery. The truth was that, since meeting Edward, I'd debated whether or not I would try to move forward with the procedure. I wouldn't deny that I would love to see the world, just to know what I was missing out on, but I feared stepping out into all of that unknown. That was the only reason I really hadn't gone through with it.

My mother had always pushed for me to get the surgery. I knew that, even with all of her support and encouragement, she had that surface desire of wishing she had a normal daughter. She was already weighed so strongly with guilt that I knew it would be easier for her to feel happy if I could at least see after the fact. But I never had allowed my mother's desires to influence my decision, and I was glad I had stood up to her pressuring me into it.

Dad had always wanted me to do it too, but really hadn't been vocal about or pushed me ever. He'd only ever told me that he wanted me to be able to see, that he didn't want me to miss out on the beauty of so many things. But he didn't want me to do it because of what any of us wanted, but because of what I wanted. He didn't want it for his own selfish reason, but because he knew that it would be beneficial to me. He knew that I would see the beauty of the world, but he'd only ever spoke up about it once. I was 12 at the time, and it was one of those days where I was considering giving in to my mother's selfishness.

Emmett, Rosalie, and Dad had all told me to do whatever I felt right. They told me that it was my decision and they would support me whatever way.

I'd told them, "I'm not saying a definite no, just no for now."

For the first time in a few years, I was debating this issue again, and I was starting to think I'd found my reason. My reason was Edward. It wasn't _for_ him, it would be for me, but it would be because I was dying to see him. He had such a beautiful soul, being, presence, and aura. I had to see the physical beauty that he no doubt possessed. That alone would make the surgery worth experiencing.

I placed my hand over top of his and squeezed it. He squeezed my knee and chuckled as I squealed, the action having sent waves of a painful tickle up my leg.

I smacked his shoulder. "You think that's funny?" I huffed.

"Sorry, love," he replied, absolutely unapologetic.

"Yeah, yeah, sure you are." I rolled my eyes, but grinned at him. I leaned across the console and kissed his ear, having aimed for his cheek, but a bump in the road causing me to miss my intended target.

"So, have you started your Christmas shopping, yet?" he asked me after a moment of silence.

"No, not yet. I was planning on getting some done tomorrow, why?"

"Just wondering. I've only gotten my parents' gifts so far," he answered.

Edward had told me a lot about his parents. They sounded wonderful and loving. He spoke to them two or three times a week, and he always seemed so happy, always laughing, whenever he talked with them. "What did you get them?" I questioned.

He hesitated for a moment before answering, "You actually gave me the idea." His fingers drummed on the inside of my knee as he continued, "My parents are big art collectors. They've got some really stunning and unique pieces from local artists as well as from around the world. Anyway, when you were telling me about that touchable art, I knew my parents wouldn't have something like that but would love it. So, I looked it up online, found one of the artists, called them up, and then sent him a photo which he agreed to recreate for us."

He stopped nervously, waiting for my reaction, and I simply smiled. "It sounds perfect for them. I hope they'll like it."

He chuckled. "Oh, believe me. They'll absolutely love it. My mom will really love it. I also got my dad a little joke book having to do with medicine. He'll drive my mom crazy with the corny jokes, but he'll love it."

I laughed and enjoyed the rest of the drive back to the apartment with Edward in silence. Once we got back, the both of us walked up to my apartment, but my mind was stuck on Christmas shopping. I needed the perfect present for Edward, but he seemed to have everything money could buy, and if he didn't he could easily purchase it for himself.

As I laid down to bed that night with his arms wrapped around me (as had become our new routine - Edward's apartment must have been lonely by now), I realized that the only perfect present for Edward would be one that meant exceedingly more to each of us than it would be worth in cost.


	23. Relaxation and Growing Up Too Fast

a/n: HAPPY HALLLLLLLOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEENNNNNN!!!! Woo! I love this holiday. Well, I used to, but now my parents are making me pass out candy to all the little kids so I have to keep answering the door every forty-three seconds. Gah. Annoying sonovabitches. Honestly, you only need to ring the door bell once. I AM NOT going to move faster if you keep doing it over and over again. I'm only going to give you the crappy candy. Mwahahahha. I'm so evil. "Oh little girrrrrrl. Would you like some caaaaaaandyyyyy?" **creepy voice** Hee Hee. So much fun. **snicker** So I had a Halloween dance last night. Those used to be fun. Now they're stupid. It's funny, though, when you see junior and senior girls whoring themselves out to freshman boys. Totally socially unusual. Hmmm, but it was fun. On Tuesday, my tennis season will end. So depressing. We lost to Millburn last Sunday. I was nearly hit three times by one of the Millburn girls...before the match EVEN STARTED. Life is boring. I currently have a 4.218 GPA. Yay! Shout loser at your computer screen now. I get to take my Driver's Ed written test on Tuesday! Excited about that. Woohoo! Hmm. Yeah. life's really boring. Who's read 'The Crucible'? Good book. Alright, I'm posting now, tonight. Gimme a review! Please! I'm Begging You! I'm a review whore! Freshmen, please take me. *snicker* Toodles!

xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo

**Bella's POV**

I let Alice drag me through the mall as I usually did whenever we went. We'd gone to about a thousand stores by now and I still hadn't gotten any of my gifts. Meanwhile, Alice, the shopping guru, had gotten every gift on her list. I'd figured out what it was that I wanted to get everyone, well everyone except for Edward, but I was having trouble finding these things.

Sighing, I decided to come up with new ideas as Alice dragged me into a place that smelled heavily of nail polish and was filled with the sounds of relaxed sighs. We were in some sort of spa, I assumed, and Alice confirmed my suspicions, telling me we were at _Relaxation_. I chuckled at her as she pulled me to the desk, telling the woman we both needed manis, pedis, and waxes.

The woman began leading us deeper into the salon, and I could tell by the awkward silence that befell the place, no longer carrying light chatter between the workers and the clients, that all of them were noticing my condition. I tried not to let it affect me as Alice and I walked.

"Take a seat, please. Remove your shoes and place your feet in the water, and we'll get you started, Miss Cullen," the woman said.

"Thank you," Alice told her as another woman took my arm gently and asked me to come with her.

I heard a door close and then felt my stick hit the leg of the waxing table. "Hello, I am Carmen," the woman greeted me with a bit of a Spanish accent. It sounded like a Cuban one, but I could have been mistaken.

"Hi, I'm Bella," I returned.

I heard the crinkling of paper as she drew more out from the roll at the end of the table, and then the sound of her patting the table. "Take a seat, Miss Bella."

I folded up my cane and put it into my purse, feeling it taken away from me before I could set it on the floor. Carmen set it down on some surface that I assumed was just for personal possessions of the people coming in to get waxed. I sat up on the table.

"So, what will we be doing today, Miss Bella?" she asked me.

"Legs, Brazilian, eyebrows, upper lip, and underarms, please," I answered as I usually did, although I'd never had a Brazilian done before Edward came along. Rosalie had insisted on it when I told her that I wanted to move on physically in my relationship with Edward back in October, and I definitely felt as though the pain was worth it.

Carmen instructed me to remove specific pieces of clothing and to throw my hair up into a pony tail, and I did everything as she told me.

"Would you also remove your glasses for me, please?" she asked kindly.

I bit my lip. "Would it be alright if I kept them on until you got to my face?" I inquired.

"Of course," she answered. "Now, just lay back and I will get started."

The paper crinkled loudly again as I laid back and focused on the soft music that lulled the atmosphere. She began to work on my legs and chatted with me, trying to distract me, I assumed.

"You have done this before, no?" she questioned.

I nodded, chuckling. "Since I was a teenager. Not the brightest idea to hand the blind girl a razor."

She laughed with me on that. I was really liking Carmen. She was kind and sweet, and she didn't seem too bothered by my condition.

"My sister is the same way. She is partially blind," she said to me, and that quickly explained why she seemed so accustomed to this. We continued to chat idly as she worked, and after a long, long time, she removed my glasses and did my eyebrows and upper lip.

She helped me up from the table and I slid my jeans on slowly, wincing as it rubbed against the irritated skin.

"The girl you came in with is your sister?" she queried as she handed me my bag.

I shook my head. "No, I only have a brother," I told her.

"Oh. Have you been friends long?"

"A few months. We met in class, and I'm actually dating her brother." I blushed as I thought of Edward, knowing that he was the reason that this waxing took longer than it used to.

Carmen laughed. "You seem very close. I am sure she will be your sister soon."

I bit my lip as Alice grabbed my arm, suddenly jabbering on and on about all the great services they offered here at the spa that she wished she had time for today. I waved goodbye to Carmen and she spoke the words to me. Alice sat me down in the salon chair, pulled off my shoes, and put my feet into the water, telling me she was going to go get her own waxing done now.

A woman quietly took my foot and told me she'd been instructed to give me a simple French pedicure. I nodded and relaxed in the chair as she began rubbing some sort of exfoliator into my skin.

I woke with a tap on my shoulder and was led over to one of the tables for the manicure, getting the same relaxing treatment on my hands as an idea struck me and I asked the woman if they did gift certificates here.

"Yes, we do. Would you like to purchase some?" she asked.

"I would. Do you have certain packages?"

She explained the different available packages, and I picked the one that I knew Alice and Rosalie would like best, handing her my credit card so I could purchase two. I knew Rosalie's favorite salon, the one we usually went to, had just been closed down due to the economy, and she would really love this place. Alice seemed to be completely enamored by this spa and was no doubt dying to have a long, peaceful day here.

She finished my nails after I'd made my purchase and then I sat with my hands in the dryer, waiting for Alice to emerge from her waxing. In the mean time, I paid for all of my services and asked the woman at the desk to make sure to add a generous tip for Carmen to my bill. She agreed to and by the time I'd signed the slip, Alice was standing beside me telling me how great Carmen was. Lord, did Alice love to hear herself speak, but I supposed I really did enjoy listening to her happy voice as well.

With Alice's and Rosalie's gifts selected and purchased, unbeknownst to Alice of course, we made our way out of the mall and to Sports Authority, where I had to pick up Charlie's Fish Radar thingy. Rose had helped me pick it out online and it'd said they had it in stock at this store.

Alice picked up a football jersey for Jasper's team, the Dallas Cowboys, saying she would add it to her gifts for him, and we both made out with our purchases as I grinned with the realization of what I wanted to get for Emmett and Jasper.

When Alice and I got home, she agreed to wrap Charlie's gift for me, and then sat in the living room while I was on the phone, getting three tickets to the Superbowl for Emmett, Jasper, and Charlie as well as plane tickets. At the last minute, I decided to get a forth and fifth ticket, biting my lip as I made arrangements for Edward and is dad to join them. Thank God my Mom had some really good connections, or this wouldn't happen.

Alice chirped up that her father would really love going, which made me feel better.

Renee's gift was one I had asked Rosalie to order for me the night before, and she'd agreed, because it would be from the both of us, as the idea had been a combined effort.

"What about your mom?" I asked Alice, coming up blank as far as ideas for her.

"What about her?"

"I need to get her something. I can't think of anything though. I don't know her well enough."

"She won't want anything."

I groaned in frustration. "I don't care if she does or doesn't want anything. I want to get her something. She's been so nice on the phone the few times I've talked to her!"

"But she'll just want to see how happy you've made Edward. She'll tell you it's the most amazing gift ever. Trust me. I know these things." I could hear Alice tapping her temple and I laughed at her. Although, I had to admit, Alice was one all-knowing pixie.

"Still, I want to get her something. I just don't feel right not getting her anything."

Alice was quiet for a moment before answering, "She's really big on cooking."

I grinned, thinking about my favorite cook book. I knew it came in regular print, and I immediately asked Alice if she would mind coming with me to the library so that I could make the order on the computers. She agreed to it and she sat at the computer helping me find the book that I took with us, the one that had sat on one of the shelves in my kitchen for longer than I'd ever wanted it to.

The book was ordered and would be in transit toward my apartment by the next day.

There was one last gift I needed, and it was one I had finally decided on after long hours of deliberation. Edward's gift. And I would need just one thing from Alice.

"Ali?"

"Yeah?"

I unlocked my apartment door again and allowed her in. "You remember the pictures you took of Edward and I on Halloween? When he was holding me before the party?"

"I remember them. What about 'em?"

"I'm going to need one."

~*~

"Bella?!" Rose called out into my apartment as she came in, Emmett trailing behind her with loud footsteps.

"Yeah?" I called from my spot on the bed.

"Renee's gift came in this afternoon."

I jumped up, running over toward Rose, but tripping over the upturned edge of the carpet.

"You mother fucking piece of shit," I cussed it out as Emmett's large paws gripped my hands and pulled me up. He brushed me off as I reached out toward Rose, asking for the necklace.

The cool platinum was slipped into my fingers and I ran them over the top of the oval. The Renee logo was engraved into the front of the small pendant, the indentations interrupting the smooth surface. On the back was another engraving, but this one of Grandma Marie. We'd gotten this image of Grandma Marie from a picture that had been described to me as a photo of her looking like a Hollywood starlet as she celebrated finally beginning her makeup company. At the time, she was just barely showing in her pregnancy with little baby Renee. It was my mom's favorite.

"Perfect," I said as I traced the engraving with my fingers.

"It's exactly what we wanted," Rose told me, which made me glad.

"She'll love it," Emmett commented.

"We know," Rose and I both answered together, snickering as she wrapped her arm around my waist.

~*~

"Hey, you wanna head to the gym?" Emmett asked me. I shut the book in front of me and grimaced as I placed it on the stack of them beside me. I'd been studying for exams all morning and I was damned sick of running my fingers over the bumps that were raised on the pages, calling out notes to the recorder that sat a few feet in front of me.

"Hell yes," I replied with relief, jumping up from my spot where I lay on the floor and cringing when all my muscles retaliated from having stayed in that position since eight AM. It was currently four PM. I'd only gotten up to grab a sandwich for lunch. With that thought, I ran back to my room. "Just let me use the bathroom and change," I called over my shoulder.

I did as I said I'd do, using the bathroom and then throwing on a pair of yoga pants, a tank top, and my socks and sneakers. I threw my hair up into a pony tail and grabbed my iPod and arm band. Grabbing my sweatshirt out of my closet, I threw that on over top and met Emmett out in my living room.

"You gonna grab your yoga mat, too?" Emmett teased when he saw my ensemble.

"Of course not," I scoffed, brushing past him. "They already have those there."

I walked with my cane, Emmett warning me that the sidewalks were icy after the rain from yesterday and the extreme drop in temperature last night. He kept an arm around my shoulders and we talked softly about what we were both so diligently studying. He told me he was bored stiff because Rose would rather study with the students in her class than with him.

"Like you two would get any studying done if you were in the same room," I quipped.

He shrugged. "I told Rose we should have taken Human Anatomy and Physiology. We'd ace that class no problem."

I laughed at my brother loudly as he opened the door to the school gym and led me over to the treadmills.

We both just ran in silence for a while, each listening to our iPods, until Emmett decided he wanted to talk again and the both of us moved to doing crunches on the mats.

"So...Rosie and I were thinking that we'd...use the tickets that Mom got us...on Rose's birthday...to go to Paris for the whole of...winter break," Emmett commented, pausing to breathe out with every crunch.

"Okay," I replied, realizing that would make it my first Christmas without Emmett, and my first in years without Rosalie.

"Just okay?" Emmett asked me, seeming confused by my reaction.

"I'm not going...to stop you from...going."

I heard his hands hit the mat with a slap as he stopped, and I was sure he sat up, so I did the same, turning to face him. "You're okay with this?"

I shrugged. "Sure. Edward will still be around this year. We were just kind of planning to hang out at our apartments for the break." I shrugged again.

Originally, Emmett, Rose, and I had been planning on going to Dad's again for the break, but Dad's best friend in California, who just so happened to also be his girlfriend's brother, had been in a bad car wreck. It'd left him paralyzed, and the both of them decided to go down there for a month or two in order to help him out. So, considering we'd only heard of this a few days ago when Billy had been released, we hadn't decided on doing anything yet. The Hales had long ago chosen to spend the holidays in the tropics. They wanted something a little sunnier and warmer this year. And Mom was, apparently, using the holiday week to "overpay illegal immigrants to move things into the new NYC studio so that it would be ready for the new year." Those were her repulsive words, not mine. Something had changed this woman, but I did my best not to dwell on that fact.

Edward wanted a, and I quote, "quiet Christmas for once, and I want to spend our first Christmas together." I tried to persuade him to go to Chicago without me - I really hated flying, it hurt my ears and there were way too many people - but he wouldn't be swayed from his decision.

Alice and Jasper were flying back home. They'd spend the first half of the break at the Whitlock house, and the second half at the Cullen house.

"Besides," I continued, "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

"I know you are, Bells, I just...worry..."

"And I worry about you, too, Em. We're family, and it's what family does. But I can handle things on my own."

"But what if - "

I cut him off. "No 'what if's. You can't think about them. You've just got to go and be with Rose, and let me do my own things. I can do it, and dammit, if anything you're only hurting me by not letting me try." I felt guilty immediately once I'd said that. "I...Em, I didn't mean...I'm really gratefu--"

But he silenced me. "I know you're grateful for everything Rosie and I do, and I also get that you don't really need our help. But, we like to help. And hell, we haven't been doing much lately. Eddie's always there, taking our places. I can't stop him, in fact, I'm pretty sure it's time we let him have those jobs and let you take care of yourself, but it's hard. We've been doing it since...forever, and we want to do it. We want to help you. Jeez, I feel like a dad giving a speech to his daughter about hows she's 'growing up so fast'." He chuckled to himself and I reached out for his hand. He took it in his oversized paw, squeezing it.

"We've all got to grow up sometime. Besides, you can't honestly tell me that you and Rose aren't _loving_ all this free time you've got now that you aren't catering to me day and night. Am I right?" I joked waggling my eyebrows.

He guffawed loudly. "Only you, Bells, could turn me losing my baby sister into something good."

I frowned, squeezing his hand tighter in my grasp. "You know you're not losing me, right Em?"

"It feels like Edward's stealing you away from me."

"I'm always going to be your little sister, Emmett, and I'm always going to need you. I just, don't need you the way that I used to, and I need Edward now, too."

He sighed. "Yeah, I do know that. You really love him, don't you..."

"With all of my heart," I answered easily, without hesitation.

"Corny Squirt," he chuckled, tugging on my ponytail, then sighed again and released my hand. "I like him, a lot. He's a great guy, and...I really do approve of him."

"Good, because he's going to be around as long as I can get him to stay."

He wrapped him big burly arm around my neck and tugged me into him, giving me a noogie.

I squealed. "Ew! Ew! Ew! Emmett! My face is way too close to your sweaty armpit! Ew! I think I got an arm hair in my mouth! Eeeeeeeew!" He laughed loudly as he let me go, and I collapsed back on the mat.

"It's just a little man stink. Get over it," he said through his guffaws.

I pulled my shirt collar up and scrubbed my face thoroughly with it, desperate to get Emmett's 'man stink' off of my skin before my flesh started melting away. "I'm pretty sure your man stink is burning a hole in my shirt. The material is disintegrating."

He laughed even louder and I just smiled as I returned to the crunches I'd been doing earlier.

Not long later, I heard a body lay down on the mat on my other side, and it wasn't even seconds before his scent permeated the air around me. I leaned over toward him and his lips descended upon mine.

"Hello, love."

I grinned and didn't even returned the greeting as I wrapped my fingers into his hair, pulling his lips back to mine forcefully. I heard Emmett clear his throat behind me and I turned to my brother.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Bella, I said I liked the guy. That doesn't mean I'm not going to kick his ass if I have to watch my baby sister tongue-rape his mouth."

I laughed and stood, before quickly remembering something. "Hey, Em?"

"Yeah?"

"Tomorrow, we're gonna play a little Beep. I wanna show the Cullen twins and Whitlock a thing or two."

By the tone of Emmett's voice, I knew he was grinning as he said, "You got it, B. Cullen, get ready to watch your girl kicking ass and taking names."


	24. Beep

_**a/n: If I don't get some 30 reviews for this chapter, I will never write a lemon for any of you ever again!!!!**_

_Now that the most important message has been taken care of, I will let those of you who couldn't care less about what I have to say go on and read. Life. Why contemplate the meaning of life when you could look it up in the dictionary?? Good question. Those were my words of wisdom for the day. So, my high school tennis season officially ended yesterday. My team were Sectional Champions, Group I State Champions, and winners of our Colonial Hills Conference. Completely undefeated in our conference, might I add. Can I get a "Go Ridgers!"? Thank you. I took my written Driver's State Exam yesterday and got my results today. I needed to get 40 out of 50 questions correct (or an 80 percent) to pass and be eligible to get my permit when I turn 16. I got a NINETY FOUR PERCET!!!! Woohoo! Take that bitches :) ... So life pretty much rocks. Halloween was fun. Miami Canes won. Miami Dolphins slaughtered the Jets. Yeah, a pretty good weekend. I have a four day weekend starting tomorrow, and in celebration I decided to post the last written chapter I have, so the one you get on Saturday night will have been written within the next 72 hours. Tomorrow I'm going to go shopping for a formal dress for Candy Cane (the formal 'ball' held annually in our town which is basically a Sadie Hawkins)...it's going to be pretty and I'll look gorgeous...well, more gorgeous than I usually do haha. I've spent the past few days having fluent conversations with some really cute guy in Argentina. I surprised my mom with how advanced my Spanish was. Sure, I know my grammar, but I think she forgot I was holding a Spanish Dictionary in my lap. Hehe. I'll just let her think that I'm really that good. Hey, it's believable. I have a 102.8 percent average at the moment. Yep, so that's life in a nutshell for me. LOVE YOU GUYS!!! SEND ME REVIEWS!!!!_

**Edward's POV**

"_Glaciers melting in the dead of night_

_And the superstars sucked into the supermassive_

_Glaciers melting in the dead of night_

_And the superstars sucked into the supermassive_

_"Supermassive black hole_

_Supermassive black hole_

_Supermassive bla-_-"

"Shut the fuck up, Emmett!" Bella shouted in irritation and I chuckled quietly at her, Alice and Jasper doing the same. Rosalie was flat out laughing and Emmett was pouting quietly as he held a ball in his hand. "I can't hear anything over that racket you consider singing," she finished, smiling in satisfaction as she bent to finish stretching.

She, Rosalie, and Emmett were all dressed in blue shirts and shorts, looking every bit professional athletes in their matching sporty clothing. Bella had her hair pulled back into a pony tail pulled through the back of my old baseball cap, which was perched on her head, where it seemed to just rightfully belong, and sports sunglasses sat comfortably on her nose. Rose's hair was pulled into a ponytail as well, though hers was low on her head, and a headband held back the hair that otherwise threatened to fall into her face. Emmett wore his tattered baseball cap backwards, and had worn sweatbands on each wrist while his black socks were pulled up to mid-calf.

Alice, Jasper, and I weren't quite so coordinated in our random t-shirts and gym shorts. We all wore running sneakers, Jasper's definitely having seen better days while Alice's looked to have been worn only when she tried them on in the store. We all seemed a bit...unfit at the moment in our group of players. I was still curious as to what we were doing.

Bella and Rosalie finished stretching while I took in the otherwise lifeless, quiet gymnasium. However, my eyes immediately traveled back to Bella as she bent at the waist and touched her palms easily to the floor, then went further and touched her elbows to the shining wood. Yep, there was a little bit of drool. Of course, Alice pranced over and joined them, and I got to hear Jasper moan at Alice's actions, which immediately turned me off.

Instead, I looked at the two...I couldn't even describe what they were...padded tackle things...in the gym, equal distance from where Emmett stood. There was a rubber plate in front of Emmett, a decent distance away, that was clearly marked and was emanating a low hum.

Then, all of a sudden, Bella, Rose, and Emmett were in a little huddle and shouting some cutesy little cheer that made the girls giggle. They walked in our direction, smirks planted heavily on their faces. Em and Rose stopped midway, while Bella skipped toward me, vibrating with energy, and stopped with her face inches from mine.

"Come on, superstar, I wanna know what all the buzz is about. Let's see what you got," she challenged before spinning and walking in the direction of the humming plate. All of a sudden, more noises filled the echoing gym walls, a loud, sporadic buzz coming from each of the large padded things, through they were both two distinct sounds, unique from each other, and a loud beeping came from the ball in Emmett's hand.

That's when it hit me; what we were doing. They had always been so cryptic about why it was that baseball was Bella's favorite sport, saying, "We'll show you someday."

I watched Bella in a daze as she lifted the bat that rested against the tips of her toes. She took the proper stance, spinning the bat above her shoulder just a bit and wiggling her ass in my direction. Emmett pulled the ball in his hand back, and I gaped as it flew through the air into Bella's strike zone. I was frozen, shocked as the bat in her hands swung around and connected with the beeping ball, creating a harsh sound in the empty gym. The ball flew off into the "outfield" and Rosalie dove after it, but my eyes were still locked on Bella who followed through the swing without an error, dropped the bat to the ground, and ran in the direction of the loud base where first would usually be. She was quick, and her body connected with the "base" before Rosalie was anywhere near there.

"Safe!" Emmett boomed as Bella shot toward him and jumped into his waiting arms.

"Ho..." Jasper started.

"Lee..." Alice continued.

"Shit," I finished. "Crap that was hot."

Alice seemed to snap out of her daze at that and smacked me in the back of the head.

"OW!" I protested, rubbing my poor noggin.

"Perv," she quipped before skipping over to where Rose was congratulating Bella, snagging my girlfriend for a tight hug. "Teach me to do it!" I heard my little sister squeal excitedly.

I chuckled, rolling my eyes, and finally my feet connected to the messages sent by my brain that screamed, "Move Fuckers!" I think Alice's smack may have done a little damage that delayed my responses.

I watched as Rosalie began helping Alice get set up, putting something that looked like a sleep mask over her eyes to blind my little sister. Bella looked in my direction with a raised eyebrow. "So?"

I didn't respond, simply grabbed her up, causing her to yelp in surprise, and kissed the shit out of her. As I pulled her against me, she no doubt felt what seeing her looking like this and playing this game - of all the ones she could - was doing to me. Yep, this was a _big_ problem, if you know what I'm saying. I'd never had to play baseball with a permanent erection before, but I had no doubt I would be doing so now. As long as it was Bella helping me play, I supposed I could happily endure it. It would be sweet torture, but I would survive.

~*~

Playing baseball was not the work out I was expecting to be involved for the first time Bella ever blindfolded me. Still, I enjoyed the hell out of it, especially Bella's blush when I made teasing comments about how the blindfold would definitely be used under different circumstances. She simply kissed me on the lips with her heated cheeks, told me to shut the hell up, and then sweetly mocked me by asking me to "try and actually hit the ball this time."

The best I managed was shanking it. It was actually rather pathetic, to be honest. Eventually, Jasper took over pitching from Emmett and I took off the blindfold, showing Bella what I could _really_ do as far as batting was involved. She pretended it was nothing, but the look on her face told me she was impressed as she listened to the beeping ball soar through the air, at least a little bit. It made me pretty smug, so I stepped up to the makeshift pitchers mound and Bella took up residence at home plate and I pitched to her some, going easy on her at first and adding a little more to each one.

I wasn't such a smug motherfucker when Bella managed to hit the fastest ball I was capable of throwing. It also didn't help that she managed to land it right in the center of my stomach, completely knocking the wind out of me. That, and my girl felt terrible about it.

That wasn't the only injury I ended up with as we played, though the rest were self-inflicted...well all except for when Alice, also, managed to hit me with a ball. Yeah, a little humiliating when your younger, anti-sports sister can actually make full contact when you've been playing as seriously and competitively as I have for as long as I have. On the bright side, I got a laugh out of it when she hit Jazz in the balls with the bat. She threw a fit over killing her future children until Jasper's balls finally crawled out of their hiding place. He sat the rest of the time with a bag of ice over his crotch. They wouldn't be getting it on tonight, and I wouldn't be surprised if he couldn't get it up for a few weeks. There really is a god! Thank you!

Jasper's playing was probably worse than mine, though, too. It made me feel just a little better. Especially since I could still stand after my girlfriend hit me. I snickered again as I replayed that event over, but winced knowing how painful it was.

Emmett and Rose were almost as good as Bella after years of practice, though not quite as great because they didn't have such astute hearing. Emmett nailed a few so hard they hit the far wall on the fly, though, and Rose's were definitely flying.

Still, none of them compared to my Bella and her amazing play. Wow, was that girl good. If I didn't love her so much, I would have been embarrassed by how superior she was to me just by taking away sight and adding sound. Shit, could my girl hit. What I wouldn't give to be that amazing at my sport and only do it for fun.

Jasper walked with a limp as we left, all of the equipment put into storage, now, at the gym. Alice cooed in his ear with multiple apologies as he dismissed them and hugged her to his side. Emmett and Rose had their pinkies linked together, and if it wasn't so damn cute. By looking at Emmett, you'd never think he was so soft, but the boy was full of more fluff than a teddy bear. Bella was happily giggling on my back, her arms linked around my neck as I carried her. Her ankles were locked about the top of my pants, and I kept my hands securely on her thighs. She kept placing kisses at the base of my hair on my neck and whispering silly things into my ear as I grinned, walking us to my car.

"See you at final exams tomorrow, Hell's Bells!" Alice called as Jasper carefully got himself into her Porsche. I grinned at him and he flipped me the bird while Ali couldn't see.

"Don't remind me!" Bella called back as I helped her down from my back and into the car. She grabbed me by the shirt as I was leaning over her to buckle her seatbelt and kissed me sweetly on the nose. "Thanks for doing this, Edward. So much fun."

I grinned at her and kissed her forehead before shutting the door and running around to my side.

"It was my pleasure, love," I replied, starting up the engine. "And it was fun, thank you for showing me."

"My pleasure," she copied. Then her large grin fell a bit. "I'm really sorry about hitting you, too. It really was an--"

I cut her off with a kiss, mumbling, "An accident, I know. Don't worry," against her lips, before infiltrating her mouth with my tongue.

~*~

We stumbled into her bedroom, lips locked together in an unbreakable kiss, and fell onto her bed. When it was clear we both needed to breathe, I decided to make sure that the her neck received a bit of worship, trailing my lips along her jaw, behind her ear, and down the long column of her neck as she gasped for air. Her fingers gripped onto my bronze hair, tugging wildly as if asking for me to use less force, but pressing my face harder into her skin the second I even considered letting up.

I stopped at her pulse point, sucking hard, surely bruising the surface as I marred the perfect pale skin with my mark. My brain was a haze, and all I could think was that this baseball-loving, breath-taking, inhumanly-stunning woman was MINE.

Not being able to resist, I bit down into the flesh lightly and Bella responded with a yelp, her body jumping up against mine, before she settled again and moaned the second time I nibbled.

"Oh, god..." she groaned, tugging my head up and immediately crashing her lips to mine. Our teeth clashed together loudly and painfully, but that didn't stop our animalistic make-out.

We separated a bit, our breath mingling as we tried to catch our breath and scrambled up the bed so our legs weren't dangling off the edge. I'd hardly even settled myself into my previous position before Bella had tugged me back to her. I took the sports glasses off her face, her hat long ago forgotten somewhere in the living room when we'd barely managed to make it into the apartment without attacking each other.

I let some of my weight fall down onto her body, and she bucked against me as she felt my hard length pressing into her. I moaned embarrassingly loudly, but she only responded with her own much quieter moan.

"Shit, I've wanted you right here since..." I couldn't finish that sentence because Bella suddenly bit down on my own pulse point, causing my eyes to roll back in my head at the sensations. She soothed it, sucking on the skin gently but still with fervor and running her tongue over the flesh. Her hips bucked up against mine again and all coherent thought was lost.

She pushed on my chest and flipped us over, straddling me and grinding down on me.

"Oh, fuck, Bella..."

I reached up and pulled her hair out of the pony tail it was in as her lips latched onto my collarbone. I ran my fingers through it until it fell down over her shoulder and onto my arm. I ran my hands down her back, slipping my fingers under the hem of her shirt and tugging a little. She got the message, sitting up and allowing me to see her perfect brown irises as she raised her arms over her head for me. After pausing for a moment to take in the lust that filled those confection colored pools, I pulled her shirt up over her head, giving me a perfect view of her supple breasts compressed together in her sports bra.

I couldn't stop myself as I began kissing the tops of her breasts that rounded up over the top of the bra. She grabbed onto the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, then allowed me to return to my kissing of her breasts, as I took advantage of the position which set her breasts level with my mouth, and pulled off her bra before taking one of her nipples into my mouth and sucking.

"Crap, Edward...oh...I...fuck, yes," she cussed and muttered over and over in incoherency. I bit down just a bit, as this seemed to be a fun, new development for both of us that provided pleasure from the minute pain. Her hands gripped my shoulders, her sharp, recently manicured fingernails digging into my back as I switched and took my time worshipping her perfect mounds.

It seemed, however, that she'd had enough of that, as she growled - yep, that's right; my girl growled; hell yes - and pushed me back into the bed, grinding into my dick.

"You'll be...oh shit...the death of me..." I warned her, trying to focus with my muddled brain.

She continued to grind on me, but an idea came to mind and I flipped us over instantly, pressing our naked chests together for a moment before trailing kisses down her body and finally reaching the hem of her shorts. I licked from one hip bone to the other, her toned stomach muscles twitching under my tongue.

As I did this, my hands moved down her bent legs to her feet and quickly pulled off her sneakers and socks. I tossed them somewhere on the floor - I'd have to remember to pick them up later - and slowly dragged my fingers up her smooth legs to the waistband of her shorts. In one smooth move, I hooked my fingers under her shorts and panties, ripping them both down and off her body and baring all of her to me, my view completely unobstructed.

"Perfect," I purred to her before kissing where I'd left off. I started trailing lower, when Bella's voice caused me to pause.

"Edward, what are you--"

"Shhh, I just want to try one thing," I told her. I heard her head hit the pillows the second I began again, running my lips over her bare pussy. I could smell her, and the scent was intoxicating. Pure. Sex. I inhaled it like a drug addict does his first hit in days.

Finally not being able to wait any longer, I ran my tongue along her wet slit. I about died when I tasted her. I remembered wanting so badly our first night together to taste her sweetness from the source before she all but begged me to stop teasing her and just take her innocence. At the time, it wasn't quite as important as the love making, but now I would be happy if this was all we did tonight.

I licked along her slit again, and Bella mumbled some choice curse words that I didn't think were of the English language...or any real language for that matter. It wasn't until I sucked her clitoris between my lips that she screamed my name to the high heavens and came on my face. Oh, but I wasn't done yet. She bucked against my tongue as I slipped it inside her pussy, tracing it around the opening before sliding it fully inside of her again. She rode my tongue as I thrust it in and out of her, my taste buds orgasming about every three seconds. She came again, and I could feel her muscles contracting around my tongue before I finally moved back up her body and shed my shorts to reveal my incredibly hard dick.

She pulled my lips to hers and kissed me fully, her juices and all, and panted against my skin.

"Get. Inside. Of. Me. Now," she hissed, as if I were taking too long to do so for her. I was momentarily shocked by her words and the force of her voice but recovered quickly. Well, as quickly as one can when such an innocent woman looking like pure sex says words like those in a tone like that.

"Gladly," I replied before trusting my painfully throbbing member into her tight pussy. I moaned into her neck as I started rocking into her, and she continued to cry out, her flesh probably incredibly sensitive after cumming twice. Not to toot my own horn or anything...

I didn't last long after her walls milked my dick of every bit of semen within my balls. We laid in a tangled, panting mess, me still inside her and my weight mostly on her, as we rode out our waves of ecstasy and let our bodies catch up with their normal paces, screaming out profanities, each other's names, and words that definitely didn't exist in the English language.

She kissed the crook of my neck sweetly, a delightful contrast to what had just been going on minutes ago. "I love you, Edward."

I kissed her cheek. "I love you, too, baby... Shit, that was amazing." She giggled, squeezing her arms around me. "I think we need to christen my bed, soon," I commented.

Bella was silent for a few minutes, which was scaring me, so I quickly backtracked and started saying, "I mean we don't have to...it's just--"

The second I started to pull out of her, however, she snapped back to reality and grabbed me even tighter, not letting me remove my member from her warm center. "Don't you fucking dare leave me," she warned, and once she was satisfied that I wouldn't, she relaxed. "I want to Edward. Fuck, I do. I was just thinking how...I mean...you know...I've never...been to your apartment. We've always been here."

I pursed my lips and realized this was true. It was always just easier for us to be here because she knew where everything was and wouldn't get hurt easily because she was used to the layout. But I also really liked the idea of seeing her walking around naked in my apartment, laying naked in my bed while I thrust into her, and her riding my tongue on my kitchen counter. When had I turned into such a fucking pervert? My dick started to harden again at the thought.

"We'll spend all of winter break there," I offered her, liking the idea. Especially because it would give her plenty of time to get used to my apartment. I could see her walking around the apartment easily, in nothing but my black button up...the one she wore the morning after our first love making session. I groaned at the thought and Bella giggled, wiggling against me and making my semi-hard on become a full erection.

"Again?" she questioned teasingly.

I kissed her. "Always," I answered, because, fuck, I was hard for her pretty freaking often.

"I just wanna try one thing..." she purred in my ear and flipped us over without us losing our connection and began to ride me cowgirl.

Fuck, I love my girlfriend.


	25. Monkey Man

_a/n: **If you all want an update on Wednesday, I need 30 reviews. So, if you want an update soon, get the counter up to 322. Yep. You all only gave me 21, and I gave you a fuck hawt lemon. Originally this chapter was going to be a lemon, but my characters ran away with me so soooooorrrrry. Anway, I'm going to go back to something I did with For Always, because I liked the way it worked. I want you all to give me reviews to lemme know what you think, and I'm not really getting much feed back except for a few people who always review (and I love those of you so much, especially those of you who say things that make me laugh and make my day...you all know who you are), and maybe this will give you a little incentive to give me your opinions. Starting next chapter I will be returning to my DEDICATIONS. The person/people who have shown me their opinion the most number of times will be the ones to get the Dedication. It's simple, and I got a lot of feedback on For Always so I'm going to try this again. Anyway, I love you guys. ****(Thank you Darcy13 for correcting me on my poor judgement in the original A/N, and because of that, I will dedicate this chapter to you.)**_

_Okay, nothing's really new. Life is life. Oh, I went dress shopping for Candy Cane. My dress is G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S, GORGEOUS!! It's a Jessica McClintock and amazing. Absolutely amazing!!! And I got it on sale for 93.75. It's just so...gah I'm in love! hahaha. Anywayz, um, I also finished the first quarter of my school year so I'm happy and life's just all around pretty okay. I started using the Fluidity Bar workout again. I didn't protect my neck the way I should have when I was going their special crunches, so I can't turn my head, but other than that I feel awesome. I have to go back to gym on Monday, which is going to suck, but whatever. I'll live I suppose. I play a tournament next weekend, so I don't know if I'll get the chapter up Saturday night. I might have to put it up early, but that's going to be a pain in my ass. Maybe if you give the Review Whore (aka Me) a little incentive..._

_xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_

**Bella's POV**

I handed Emmett and Rosalie their gifts, both in envelopes. I had sealed them and did my best to write their names on the front, though when I'd asked Edward if it was legible, he chuckled and kissed my temple. I never did get a real answer, but I assumed that if they opened the wrong ones, they would figure it out and trade.

"No matter what, you are _not_ allowed to open those before Christmas Eve. And, furthermore, you are not permitted to call me if the hour is unreasonable for any reason other than an absolute emergency," I instructed them, though it was solely for Emmett. He was nothing more than a giant kid. I had been woken up on more than one morning before four AM because he wanted to open presents. I had no doubt that he would have called just to spite me on Christmas morning at what is a normal time in Paris, but an absolutely horrendous hour here in Washington. That, or he'd forget the difference between the time zones...

"Yeah, yeah, whatever Bellsy," he replied, blowing me off as he scoffed at my suggestion that he wait.

"I mean it, Emmett," I responded with a glare. I wasn't wearing my glasses at the moment, something that I'd only done one other time since that Thanksgiving dinner a few weeks ago. I could tell Rose and Emmett were so proud of me for doing it, and I could hear a change in tone in my father's voice the last time we spoke.

There was a quiet moment and I could hear the shifting of the envelopes followed by Emmett's shout of victory. "Score! I got the bigger envelope! Hell yeah!" he cried. I heard Rose smack him and his pouty "ouch" as he, I assumed, rubbed the back of his head. I laughed, shaking my head as I sought out my brother and hugged him tightly.

He squeezed me into his broad chest, kissing the top of my head like he used to do all the time in high school whenever I'd get upset. I was going to miss him this Christmas.

"Love you, Bells," he whispered softly, all joking tones disappearing from his demeanor.

"Love you, too, Monkey Man," I answered, earning a loud snort against my head.

_"Give them back! Please! Give them back! Mike!" I was crying as I begged him to give me back my sunglasses. I had my eyes shut tightly, hiding them as my voice cracked with emotion. I reached into my pocket to grab my walking cane as the dam broke and the first tears slipped through my eyelids. There was nothing that could upset me more than taking away my sunglasses. They were my safe-place._

_I started to open my cane when it was pulled out of my grasp as well. I felt a sob tear from my chest as I heard Lauren's taunting voice, telling me to get up. "Come on. Walk, blind girl. Fucking walk."_

_I felt and heard a violent sob tear from my eleven year old chest as I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around them. I hid my face in my arms as Jessica joined in their mocking and cruelty._

_"Toss them!" I heard someone shout, but my ears were too heavily filled with my muffled cries for me to be able to tell who, exactly, belonged to that voice._

_I did, however, recognize the sound of my cane hitting the ground as the tree branches sounded above me. A small acorn fell and hit me on the head, causing me to cringe._

_"Try again!" someone else called out, and I heard the tree again, but this time no crash from my cane._

_I heard a loud cheer, "It caught!"_

_The branches made that sound again, and I could only assume it was my glasses this time. They promptly fell the the ground beside me, and I heard the crack which could only mean one thing. Another cry rushed for from me, and I felt a presence beside me._

_"Oops," Lauren sneered in my ear, not at all apologetic or sounding as though her actions were unintentional. I quailed away, scraping my hands on the pavement. I heard the sound of the trees twice more before my glasses were, finally, stuck._

_They all laughed loudly, and I felt the world spinning, wondering where all the teachers were. Emmett had chosen to spend his recess with the new girl, Rose, in their history class, to finish up a project that would be due tomorrow. I couldn't believe I was so helpless. Without Emmett, I couldn't even defend myself._

_The world began spinning faster and faster, and my stomach began to feel sick when I finally heard it._

_"Unless you all want your asses handed to you in some of the most humiliating ways, I think you'd all be better off stepping away from her," a female voice seethed, piercing through the dark world that I was shrouded in._

_Everyone became deathly silent, and I realized immediately that this was Rosalie, the new girl who Emmett was with. That meant he couldn't be far behind. I felt warm arms encircle me, and the unfamiliarity of them caused me to recoil, but I heard her soft voice in my ear, reassuring me that it was okay, and that the only person she would hurt was the 'sick fuckers' standing around and taking pleasure in my pain._

_It was then that mine and Rose's bond cemented, and we'd hardly known each other for more than a few seconds. She held me in her protective embrace as I heard Emmett's booming voice, filled with anger. It cracked, as that of any boy hitting puberty, but it was deep and threatening all the same, and the heartless demons ran as I clutched Rosalie like she was my salvation. Because she was._

_"Bella are you--"_

_"I've got her, Emmett," she cut him off. She shifted, but never let go of me. "Her glasses and her cane though...they're up there."_

_"Shit."_

_I heard his furious footfalls leading away just a bit along the pavement until they stopped, and I heard, instead, the crushing of acorns beneath his soles. I heard the scraping of his boots against tree bark over the sound of my now calmer sniffles. Soon enough, the branches were rustling, and my cane crashed down beside me, startling me as Rose continued to rock me like a mother would her young, wounded daughter._

_"I can't reach her glasses!" he called down from a dangerously high distance above me. I squeaked as I realized how badly he could hurt himself._

_"Em...g-get down," I squeaked feebly through another sniffle._

_"I've almost--there!" I heard them bounce against something before sliding to the pavement and Rose huffed a loud, "Ouch! Nice aim!" as the branches ruffled again._

_"Emmett! Be car--Oh shit." Emmett was almost to the ground, if I was judging my distances correctly, when I suddenly heard something very large hitting the grass/dirt area around the tree he'd just climbed. I could hear the wind rush out of his lungs and his sputtering and coughing, as well as the loud groan as Rose pulled me over to him. My hands brushed over my broken glasses on the way, and I picked those up and put them on, even though nearly the entire lens was destroyed._

_We both fussed over him, before we finally realized his only problem was his stupidity, and that wasn't a result of the fall; more like the cause._

_"My Monkey Man," Rose finally said to him softly as she stroked his hair, and then placed a soft kiss on his forehead._

_Dad picked us up from school right after that, neither Emmett nor myself wanting to return to class after the ordeal. Rosalie came by after school was over to check first on Emmett, making sure he wasn't anything more than sore from the fall, and then me. She sat with me for a while, just talking in my room like today had never happened and I was just a normal girl before finally saying that if any of those kids ever gave me any more trouble then I should let her know. I was just so grateful to her that I gave her a hug which as reserved generally for Emmett and occasionally my father._

_She stayed through dinner, and there were many jokes between the both of us about that certainly not being the first time Emmett was dropped on his head, lightening the mood among us. Dad admitted that Mom may have dropped him a time or two, but he'd always seemed okay afterward._

_At the end of the night, when Rose was saying goodbye, she took my spare set of glasses off my face and slipped a different pair on as I was frozen, surprised._

_"These are just until the new ones come in," she told me. I was still frozen when she went to thank Dad for letter her stay, and Dad laughed it off, hugging her and thanking her for whatever she had done to help me._

_Emmett was, for the first time, a true gentleman, offering to walk Rose out to her parents' car. She allowed him to, and when he came back, he exclaimed happily, "I've got a date with Rose! Dad, I think I'm in love!"_

_I laughed, shaking my head. "Be good to her, Monkey Man."_

~*~

"The main layout isn't much different from yours," Edward told me, explaining for the fifteenth time in the past hour that without the furniture, our apartments were absolutely identical. I understood that the first time he said it, but I tried to keep from getting frustrated. This would be the first time Edward would have to show me some place which I was completely unfamiliar with and help my to memorize it all. Emmett had gone apeshit when we did this with my new apartment, and it ended up being Rose who had to finish helping me, but they had left before Edward had completed his last final, and neither would be able to help now.

So, instead, I sighed and took Edward's hand, the one which held his keys, in a manner that was meant to say, "I know, now open the damn door," in the most gentle manner possible, of course.

"Okay, okay," he replied in a strained tone.

"You're nervous?" I questioned as he unlocked the door. I stopped him from turning the doorknob and leaned against the frame, pulling my glasses up on top of my head so that he would look me in the eye. I always hated people seeing my eyes, but with Edward, it was different. It was almost an intimate act, and it made me feel...I couldn't describe the feeling it gave me to know he was staring into my eyes, but it was a good feeling, one that I grew to love experiencing. "Why?" I asked as I moved my hands to his chest, then slid one up to his neck and then his chin, setting his face in the proper position to truly see mine.

"It's the first time you'll have ever been in my apartment," he answered, as if it was obvious.

I shook my head at him. "So? Explain."

He sighed, his warm, fresh breath brushing across my face. I inhaled it greedily, knowing Edward's scent was intoxicating. His velvet voice began to speak in a keyed-up tone. "I don't know. I mean...I really shouldn't be nervous, right? But I can't help it. I'm hardly ever here anymore, anyway. I sleep here sometimes, yeah, and when I really need to study without...without you distracting me I'm here, but otherwise I'm not. And so it's not really that important of a place to me, but this...this is another step up...and I'm afraid with every step up that something will change...and I'll lose you or we'll fight or I'll hurt you or you'll realize I'm not good enough for--"

And that's when I stopped his nonsensical speech by pressing my lips to his. He was absolutely insane if he thought anything could make me leave, could make me think he wasn't good enough for me. When I pulled back, I smiled sadly at him.

"Edward, you're being silly. I love you, fully and completely. I'm not going anywhere just because I'm finally going to see your apartment. You won't lose me, and we won't fight over it. I don't know how this could hurt me. I mean, sure, I could trip or fall or something, but wasn't the both of us falling to the pavement how we met?" I reached up and stroked my hand through his soft, wild hair before settling it behind his neck while placing my other on his cheek. "And if there's anyone undeserving, it's _I_ who does not deserve _you_."

He tried to speak, but I placed my fingers over his lips to stop him, because I knew it was the truth. I'd always known it, and I'd long ago decided that I would enjoy this beautiful love we shared until he realized what I knew. I didn't deserve him, but I considered myself lucky every moment he chose me over any other girl out there. He'd never be able to convince me otherwise, so trying to would be wasting his breath. The facts just don't change.

"Let's go inside now," I finally suggested, ending our conversation, and Edward's defeated sigh told me that while this wasn't over forever, it was for now.

He took my hand from his mouth, kissing the back of it and then placing a peck on my forehead. His hand moved to the doorknob right beside my hip, and it squealed quietly as he turned the cool metal and pushed the door open. He lead me through the open frame and into the room. I heard him flip the light switch, and there was a quiet buzz from the lights which were now, obviously, on.

I could hear the sibilance of the radiator coming from across the room, likely under the window, just where mine was. His keys rattled as he set them down on what I assumed was the counter top, again if it was just where mine was. I could hear him taking off his leather jacket, and then he came to me and removed mine as well.

"I'll put these away and then I'll show you everything. Just let me know how you want to do this," he told me, his voice retreating as he moved farther away, his feet relatively quiet on the wooden floors.

His apartment smelled like a mix of various scents. Some were appealing, while others were not.

The strongest ones, the ones which really did dominate all others to such a great degree, was that of cleaning agents. The smell of bleach from the tiles and bathroom burned strongly in my nose, while orange and lemon and what I recognized as the pungent scent of a wood-cleaner mingled together and hit hard in the contrast.

The next one I detected easily was Edward's perfect smell, ever the most tantalizing concoction of man, man, and more man. I wished I could bottle that and sell it. I'd be a fucking rich woman off of its sales alone. I giggled at the imagery it brought up, men lining up in stores all over the world to buy the only scent that could guarantee you the love of a woman. It was so true though.

Then there was a light floral scent. Freesias. They were fresh, too. I smiled as I realized Edward had bought some of my favorite flowers to put in his apartment. He once told me that to him, I smelled like freesias, or another similar floral scent. I didn't believe him, but most people are completely desensitized to their own scent, so I suppose I really wouldn't know.

There were other fragrances lingering around. The smell of wood and of the warm air that came from the heater. I could smell the littlest reminders of his breakfast, a bagel he'd thrown in the toaster. He'd slept here last night, instead of my apartment, as he'd remained awake until something around three-thirty, while I had gone to bed on the early side and woken up around five to finish studying. Apparently, his morning between waking and testing had been spend scrubbing his apartment with various cleaning products.

I stayed put, taking in the invigorating smells of his apartment which already told me so much and yet so little about his place while I waited for him to put our coats away. When finally he returned, something tickled my nose and the redolence of freesia momentarily overwhelmed my senses as I realized it was a flower he rubbed against my nose. I giggled and stole it from him, tickling his nose in retaliation. But he was better, and grabbed my waist with one arm, trapping me to his chest as his fingers assaulted my vulnerable sides.

"Uncle! Uncle!" I shouted and he stopped, laughing at what was surely my flushed-yet-irritate face. "Jerk."

He pecked my forehead, still smiling. "I'm sorry, love." We both knew he wasn't really sorry.

"So," he started after a few moments of silence as we just snuggled by his front door. "How do we go about this?"

"Show me everything there is, Edward. Start with the living room, if that's what you'd like. Furniture, obstacles...just everything," I answered awkwardly, not really knowing the best way to explain this.

"Okay...Yeah, okay."

And so it began. He had a nice leather couch against the wall, then two leather seats on either side. The set was definitely expensive. He had a large ottoman in the middle, same material and design as the rest of the furniture. There was a large TV set mounted on the opposite wall, the one near the door. All expensive, far more than my furniture was, judging by the feel.

On the other side of his main room he had his keyboard set up, stacks of staff paper organized into neat piles all around it and into a small music cabinet. He promised to play for me after our tour. I stroked the keys softly as he kissed my neck, making me promise I wouldn't distract before he could get the chance to play. I didn't make that promise.

He had a huge stereo system by his piano, too. It had soooooo many buttons. I wanted to push them all, feeling like a child being handed a shiny object, and Edward laughed, telling me to have at it, though it wasn't as much fun once I'd pressed them all, so we moved on.

He walked me around the living room a few times while I familiarized myself with the room. It was necessary, as I tried to memorize all the places where I would likely trip myself up. I was sure we'd have to go over all of this again tomorrow.

He brought me into the kitchen then, and began going over every surface with me, my body held firmly against him, back to chest. He ran my hand over the counter as he walked with me, slowly showing me everything he had on the surface - the stove, the sink, the cell phone charger, etc. Then he began showing me where the most important cabinets were - the ones with the bowls and plates, with the utensils, with the glasses. Finally, he showed me the inside of his fridge, which was barren. It was a good thing we'd gone out earlier to eat. Finally, he showed me his little breakfast nook, then took me slowly into his bedroom.

It was a good thing I hadn't made that promise earlier. I never would have kept it.


	26. Let Me Learn You

_a/n: I pray to whatever FanFiction god exists out there that you like this, because it was really hard (if you know what I'm saying haha jkjk) to write this chapter right. I finally think I got it right. Thanks for all the feedback you guys. Apparently, you all liked the flashback with Emmett and Rosalie and Bella in the beginning. I'd never planned for that to be there. Bella and her pals just sorta had a mind of their own. This chapter starts with a flashback (in italics) but it's only a few days prior. However, if you guys would like, I think I might do some flashbacks in future chapters. I'm already thinking of one from Bella's senior year as well as maybe one when Bella's just starting high school. Dunno...we'll see how they work out. They definitely help develop my characters a lot more. If you like that idea, let me know, and if you have any ideas for possible flashbacks, then I'd really like to hear them. I want you guys to all know this Bella and Edward and their crew the way that I do. Oh! Another flashback idea just hit me. Yay! I like this one! :)_

_Anyway, I have my tennis tournament tonight, and I'm sore as hell because I started cheerleading yesterday. I'm going to make the rest of this note really quick, so just read and enjoy. I originally planned to have this finished and posted Wednesday night, but I hadn't completed it Tuesday evening and got stuck writing a (very intellectual-sounding) essay for English class on The Crucible by Arthur Miller. Pretty good play. Um, yep, so that's life in a nutshell._

_Dedication: **Fanficreader83 **with her ever faithful review of every chapter every time I post. She is one of the few readers whose name I can just spring forth off the top of my head should anyone ask me to. THANKS SO MUCH!!!_

_"Love is not blind; it simply enables one to see things others fail to see."_

_Read. Enjoy. Review._

_xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_

**Bella's POV**

_I moaned happily around my bite of tortellini while Alice thanked Rose repeatedly for cooking us a substantial dinner for girls' night. We'd all taken our first few exams earlier today, and all three of us were just dying to sit down and relax to a night of fun and laughs._

_"This stuff is orgasmic. I swear, if Jazz didn't already get me off--"_

_"Alice!" Rose cut her off, laughing. "That's my cousin!" She couldn't have really cared less, as she was merely teasing Alice._

_"Oh, like you don't wish you had someone as good as my Jasper. Besides, I haven't gone into any detail yet," Alice protested knowingly._

_I laughed as Rose answered, "And I'd like to keep it that way thank you. Although, you do look freshly fucked, miss. Seems someone was taking a quick ride on her boy's pony, if you know what I'm saying." Alice and I both laughed, and I just knew Rose was waggling her eyebrows the way Emmett did when he used that same tone of voice._

_"Oh, I know what you're saying. And if you think Jazz is a pony, Emmett can't be more than a bunny rabbit!"_

_I howled in laughter as Rose quipped, "Oh no you di-int!"_

_"Oh yes I did."_

_I coughed on my tortellini while Rose and Alice shot lines back and forth, before finally I calmed and managed to throw in an, "Ew! I never needed to know that about my brother, Rose! Keep that info to yourself!"_

_Then they pounced on me. "What about Edward? How big is he?" Rose all but pleaded repetitively, and Alice threw in a "Is he any good in bed? Pleasing you before himself and all that? Ew, wait, don't tell me. I don't wanna know. Gross."_

_I shook my head at them and forked another piece of pasta, pointing to my mouth to mean I couldn't speak with my mouthful._

_"Please, Bella?" Rosalie pouted. "Isn't there anything you want to know, maybe? You've got two girls with a pretty...large arsenal of sexual knowledge..."_

_I groaned, but my face was heating quickly. I paused for a second dropping the fork to my plate and hiding my face in the curtain of my hair from them._

_"Oh, I know that blush!" they both exclaimed giddily, laughing._

_"Shut up."_

_"Come on, Belly Bell, what do you want to know? I could tell you about how much your brother likes when I nibble his--"_

_"Stop right there!" I cried in horror. "Don't go further. That was about to be TMI! Oh, god. I'm thinking about things I never, ever wanted to think about Emmett. Oh, fuck, I think I'll be scarred for the rest of--"_

_"Oh, fuck you, Bella," Rose quipped._

_I chuckled nervously. "Okay, so, yeah. I was kinda wondering about..."_

I tried to recall everything they told me that night, preparing myself for what I planned to do next.

"So, love, that's my apartment," Edward chuckled, snuggling my body closer to his. I placed a kiss on his naked chest, flicking my tongue out to lick the light film of perspiration that coated his skin. Yum. Salty Edward.

I turned my face toward his and grinned devilishly. "There's only one more thing I'd like to see," I told him.

"What's that?" he asked, confused. "There's nothing else to it. I..."

He trailed off as I began drawing patterns on his chest with a feather-light touch, teasing his skin. "I want to see _you. All of you_."

I heard him swallow hard. "You mean like..."

I nodded, understanding what he meant as he once again left his sentence unfinished. I bit my lip, slightly embarrassed and nervous. I was sure that my face was a deep red, considering how warm it felt, and I briefly wondered if the lamp he'd turned on by his bed much earlier in the evening would still be on, allowing him to see my blush. The tormented groan which slipped from his lips and rumbled in his chest told me that he could see me just fine, and his hard member pressed against my thigh was not only an indicator that he liked the idea of what was about to happen, but also a reminder of what I planned for the grand finale.

I pushed him fully onto his back and raised myself up onto my arms, moving to straddle his thighs as the thin sheet which had covered up slid down my back and rested just above his knees. My entire body was now fully revealed to him, and he moved his hands up to my hips, then slid them along my sides to my breasts. I bit my cheek to hold my moan in and took his wrists in mine, shaking my head at him in reprimand.

I returned his hands to their previous location on the mattress, and they became fists immediately in the soft sheets. "No touching, Edward. This is _my_ chance to learn _you_ like you've learned me."

He whimpered. "God, Bella." I leaned down and pressed my lips to his chastely. "This will be the sweetest torture," he mumbled, but his tone was excited.

That was one of his last truly coherent sentences for a long time.

I started with his face. I knew it so well, already, but I always started with the familiar. This face, I loved it so much. I loved the man this face belonged to more than anything I'd ever loved before.

"You are my heart," I whispered aloud, though I'd intended it to be an internal musing. I pressed a finger to his lips before he could say anything in response. I spoke softly, soothingly, with my forehead pressed to his as I returned my hands to his cheeks, "Sh, this is my time, now. Let me do this before you dazzle me with your perfect words."

And he always did. And they always were. Everything about him was, dazzling and perfect that is.

When he nodded, I pressed another kiss to his lips and slowly caressed his face, memorizing, once again, a face I would never live to forget; a face I would never want to forget.

My hands slid back toward his scalp, my fingers rounding the shells of his ears. I slid my nose along his jaw as my fingers combed through his wild hair until they reached the pillow. My hands traveled down his neck, my fingers tracing his adams apples and then following the lines of his broad shoulders.

I slid my cheek down his neck, pausing and breathing in his scent, allowing it to wash over my senses. I took a moment, appreciating it as it swirled in my lungs until it was nothing more than a memory, at which point I breathed out, letting my breath wash over his skin. He shivered, and I held back yet another moan.

I sat up and tugged slightly on his shoulders, silently asking for his to sit up with me. He did, slowly, as though he would lose all ability to behave and to let me complete the task as I was asking him to. He leaned his head on my shoulder, breathing heavily on my neck as I scooted forward in his lap so that our chests were pressed together and his member was warm against my abdomen.

My hands moved down his arms, curving around his biceps to grasp them firmly, to truly feel the strength beneath my hands, before moving down along his muscled forearms to his balled fists. I rubbed over those talented hands with my fingers, calming them until he finally released the sheets. Pulling his hands up, I placed them onto my hips and held them firmly in place there.

"Do not move," I whispered in his ear, allowing him to touch but nothing else. I knew he needed it, because if these roles were reversed I wouldn't have been able to go more than a few moments without feeling his warm skin beneath my palms. He nodded against my shoulder, and so I continued my explorations, moving my hands to his shoulder blades.

I traced his shapely back, my fingers following the length of his spine and curving over each vertebra they passed, counting each one until I finally reached the very top of his perfect ass. I trailed my hand over it and squeezed, giggling when Edward moaned loudly in my ear and his fingers dug into my hips. Who would have thought _this_ would be one of Edward's triggers? Maybe it was just my slow torture.

I pulled my hands back up toward his shoulders, slipping over the strong curves and beginning to trace each and every defined muscle of his chest. When I reached his sternum, I took extra care to place my hand perfectly over his heart, feeling it beating furiously against my palm. Edward was now laying on his back again, and every so often his hands would twitch on my hips. I knew he was trying to hard to focus on not moving while I touched him, and I loved him all the more for letting me have this the way I wanted it.

I circle my fingers around his nipples, curious about his reaction as I felt them pebble the way mine did. Interesting...

I traced each and every pack of muscles that resided on his abdomen. Good lord, his abs were so hard, defined, perfect. I traced around the square-like bundles of muscles, loving the way they twitched as I explored.

I knew Edward couldn't hold out much longer, so I decided to skip tracing his legs. Surely he would allow me this another time, allow me to finish my explorations another day. I had memorized so much of his tonight, yet his body was likely the only physical thing or being that I wanted to memorize over and over again. I was sure that I would something new every time, the way I always learned another thing about him whenever I really picked brain.

I placed my hands on the pillow on either side of his head. I pressed a kiss to his forehead before capturing his lips in a solid kiss. He groaned, and once again his hands were tight on my boney hips. I pulled my lips from his and kissed his adams apple, then each side of his neck. My lips kissed his sternum before my nose began to trace the same patterns on his chest that my hands had. And soon my lips took the same path, leaving warm, wet kisses in their wake. Edward began panting breathlessly and muttering that I would be the death of him.

_There are worse ways to go..._ I thought.

Finally, my fingers traced the V at his hips, my lips following down the light patch of hair which pointed to the eighth wonder of the world.

"Bella..." he protested feebly, but I responded by gently grabbing his hard dick in my hand, realizing it was so much warmer than the rest of his body. He groaned and released my hips now that I had scooted back too far for him to hold them any longer. Instead, they took purchase on my shoulders, his thumbs rubbing my skin reverently.

I memorized the surface of his member, from the very base to the bulbous head. I memorized the width, the thickness, how impossible it was to even fit my hand around the shaft. I memorized how long it was, and what it felt like as it twitched in my hand and grew even larger, if that were even possible. I memorized the feeling of the sac below it, softer and warm, as Edward moaned and groaned and cussed more loudly with each questing stroke.

Finally, I grabbed him more firmly and began to pump him, spreading the precum that leaked from the tip. I was out of my realm of knowledge and experience now, that was for sure. It didn't matter how much coaching I'd gotten from Rose and the exciting little tricks Alice had tossed in when she could imagine it wasn't her brother I'd be performing these acts with. I swirled my thumb over his head, earning a loud, "Oh, fuck...that...shit Bella..." and a hard tug on my shoulders, as though he wanted me to move up his body.

I knew exactly what he wanted to do, but I refused. I knew what I wanted to do, and, dammit, I would do it.

"Bella, please. Let me...oh crap...lemme fin-finish this...fin...the right...god, Bella...way," he pleaded.

Without a second thought, I took him into my mouth, and suddenly his loving, soft hadns left my shoulders and gripped my wild hair, crying out my name like it was the only word he knew and the last he'd ever say.

I knew he was so close to the edge, and so I skipped most every trick I knew, immediately pulling him deep into my throat after bobbing my head just a few times with his hands guiding me. I gagged a bit, but was absolutely satisfied when he cried out even louder than he had before and his salty cum shot down my throat almost violently. He held me tightly in place, panting loudly and moaning and groaning. His body was shaking, his hips bucking just slightly - clearly holding back from thrusting furiously into my mouth. I could feel the sweat on his body, smell the salty musk that I loved so much.

I slowly pulled my mouth off from him, making sure he was completely clean, and then his arms pulled my body up so quickly I felt dizzy for just a moment. He crushed me to his chest though, still shaking in the aftermath of his orgasm and panting loudly into my ear.

"God...oh, god, I love you...only you...love you...so much...thank you, thank you...perfect..." Edward kept muttering crazily toward me as he squeezed me in a crushing hug. Finally, when his chest wasn't moving quite so rapidly with his breathing, he crashed his lips with mine.

The kiss was loving and passionate and sweet, but quickly developed to teeth and tongue and fevered breaths. And Edward continued whispering his words over and over again until his movements were slower and his body seemed heavy. Clearly, he was tired.

I rubbed my hand over his sticky cheek as I moved off of him and settled into his side, rubbing my thumb over the perfect cheek bone and the straight nose. "Sleep, my love," I requested of him, resting my head on his shoulder as his arms tucked me closer into him. He didn't respond, but he didn't need to. His breathing had evened and I could hear the light, lulling snore that was always present in his sleep when he was utterly exhausted.

I felt my own eyelids becoming heavier, and just as they seemed to weigh a ton, I moved my hand over his heart, letting it beat once again against my palm. I gave into my slumber, knowing that the active sign of life working beneath my palm belonged to me for now, and I thanked whatever deities out there had blessed me with such love, luck, and beauty. Whoever it was that had allowed me a gift so precious as this amazing experience, _Thank you_.


	27. This Winter's First Snow

_Lighthearted and then very serious at the end. **Dedication: GetDrunkOnVictory**. Te quiero mucho!!! I loved writing this chapter, but it took FOREVER. I hope you like it. Lemme know what ya'll think!!!!! _

_x o x o x o x o x o J O R D I B R O O K E x o x o x o x o x o x o x o_

_"Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important." --Lisa Hoffman_

**Edward's POV**

I opened my eyes and stretched, instantly noting that I was waking in my bedroom and not Bella's, yet I could feel her warm little body snuggled against my side, her hair strewn in a nest-like mess on my chest. I chuckled as I looked down at her peaceful face, her warm little breaths puffing out over my bare chest. I tried not to think of the fact that the both of us were pressed against each other with absolutely no barrier between us as I began brushing my fingers through her hair, trying to get rid of all the knots as I'd taken to doing whenever I woke before her.

It just wasn't usually this...knotted.

I tried to be careful so I wouldn't disturb her. She mumbled every few seconds in her sleep as I did this, and I did my best to carry out a conversation with her, because it became absolutely amusing.

"The birds are barking again, Edward."

"Are they, love?" I responded, holding back my laughter as I didn't want to wake her.

"Make them stop. It's unbecoming."

How she could correctly use the word "unbecoming" while unconscious was beyond me.

"I'll do my best."

"That's all I ask."

I waited for a few minutes and then I felt her fingers tapping on my chest, but I could tell she was still out cold.

"Have they stopped?" I asked.

"They're still at it. It's disgusting really. Don't they ever get tired?"

"I'm sure the birds must sleep at some point, Bella."

"Yeah, birds. At least the barking was better. This racket is just horrifying."

"What racket, love?"

"Alice and Jasper. They can't sing."

I snorted. No, they really couldn't. "I agree. The barking birds were better."

"Stupid pixie. What are they singing anyway?" she mumbled.

"Sing it for me," I suggested. I was absolutely surprised when I heard her begin to sing.

_"I __been a lotta places all around the way_ I seen a lotta joy and I seen a lotta pain_ but I don't wanna write a love song...for the world_ I just wanna write a song about a boy and a girl..."_

I couldn't hold it in any longer. I cracked up so hard. My entire frame shook, my guffaws echoing off the walls that surrounded me. Bella shot up, eyes wide as she looked confused and startled. Her face only made laugh harder.

"Edward? What's..." she trailed off as her face flushed. "I was talking...wasn't I?"

I coughed as I nodded, trying to stop myself but the ridiculousness of Bella singing that song...

"God," she muttered as she laid back down on my bed, a few inches from me and burying her face into my pillow. "Kill me now, please."

I breathed out one last time, still a little out of breath but more in control. I sputtered one last laugh before inching myself closer to her.

"Don't hide, my love."

"Iff morfying," came the response. I assumed she meant, "It's mortifying," but the pillow was unforgiving as far as her pronunciation went. It didn't enjoy being ignored last night when Bella chose my chest over it. It held a grudge.

I kissed her shoulder. "I think it's adorable; endearing, even."

"Fu fink iff fufy."

"It's funny because it's so cute. Pweeeeaze," I pouted.

"Mo."

"Come out, come out, wherever you are," I cooed in her ear.

"Uh uh."

I touched the tips of my fingers to her sides while straddling her lower back. "Then I'm afraid you leave me no choice."

"Mo!"

"Last chance."

"Ofra ma beb boby."

"You asked for it." I began to tickle her, and her squeals were music to my ear. Her giggles were absorbed by the pillows as I relentlessly teased the sensitive skin along her ribs and her stomach.

When I'd decided she'd been sufficiently punished, I let up, kissing between her shoulder blades as she gasped into the pillow. She put her hands on the mattress and pushed up, creating a beautiful arch in her spine that I couldn't resist reaching out to trace with my fingers reverently.

God, I was so whipped if her curved back could have me so enraptured.

And I wouldn't want it any other way.

I pressed another kiss between her shoulder blades, then my lips began to travel. She was still trapped and I heard her breath hitch as I started sucking on her nearly translucent skin. My hands began moving up her body, and as I traced the curve of her breasts, she shuddered, snapping out of her stupor.

Her little hands smacked mine away as she flopped back to the bed, and then she began to try and wiggle out from beneath me. I stayed there, feeling myself getting hard at her movement.

"Nope. Not now. Up! Up!"

"I already am."

She stopped wiggling and turned her head, shooting a glare in my direction over her shoulder with her nose scrunched in a 'you disgust me, horn dog' sort of way.

"Off."

"Nope."

"Now."

"Don't want to."

"Stop being childish."

"Stop ruining my fun."

"Insolent, infantile, irritating brat."

Too many 'I's.

"That's not what you were saying last night, beautiful. You were singing a very different tune."

She continued to glower. "And what tune was that?"

"_I been a lotta places all around the_--OW!"

I instantly jumped off of her when her nails dug into my upper thigh, a little too close to a place which quickly shriveled as I looked at the damage she inflicted. I pouted. "You drew blood."

"Keep this up and I'll do a lot worse than grip you painfully."

Yep, my dick shriveled a little more at what she implied.

I did my best to salvage the situation. She sat up and wrapped the sheet around her body, frowning as she slid her feet along the floor, searching for her clothing, I assumed.

I jumped up, my feet hitting the cold floor and my legs feeling a little wobbly since I still hadn't stood on them yet since I'd woken. Wrapping my arms around Bella from behind, I pulled her body against mine. I peppered her neck and shoulder in sweet, innocent kisses, knowing that hot-and-heavy wouldn't save me at the moment.

"Please don't be mad, Bella. I'm sorry and I promise I'll be better."

She sighed and relaxed against me. "I hate you," she muttered, but I really didn't believe her because it came out lovingly.

"Why is that?" I asked, my lips continuing to brush the skin at the nape of her neck.

"Because you make it impossible to even be annoyed. Damn you."

I chuckled and pressed a kiss behind her ear. "Why don't you go and take a shower while I prepare your breakfast."

I could tell she was pouting as she asked, "You don't want to join me? It would be so beneficial to the planet if we were to conserve water..."

I growled in her ear. "Don't tempt me."

~*~

While Bella had been in the shower, I'd thrown on a pair of pajama pants, guiltily and ashamedly happy that she couldn't see the silly pink puffle-things on the pants which had been the physical representation of Alice's revenge. The only reasons I still owned them and hadn't thrown them on a bonfire in Alice's precious closet are that they are the most comfortable pants I've ever worn and that they are supremely warm.

I threw a few pop-tarts into the microwave and poured two glasses of milk. So I was a little helpless in the kitchen when I was low on supplies. Sue me.

I all but sprinted to the bathroom when the water cut off and Bella called my name.

"Bella? What's wrong?" I asked worriedly as soon as I got into the bathroom.

She giggled. _Well, clearly she's not hurt_, I thought as I looked up and saw the outline of her perfect figure through the foggy shower door.

"Calm down, silly man. I just need a towel," she told me, pushing open the door. Steam rolled out of the shower stall all around her and her face was flushed red, partially from the warmth of the room and water, partially from her embarrassment at forgetting to ask me to set her towel out.

"Of course," I answered, walking toward the sink and opening one of cabinets to pull out a spare, fluffy orange towel. I unfolded it and wrapped it around her naked form, hoping that it would maybe help to soften the hard-on I was currently sporting.

You moron. The closer you get to her the harder it gets to control yourself...if you know what I'm sayin'... I couldn't believe that my mind had just winked at me.

I took a step back from Bella and left the room, telling her I was going to go and finish our 'breakfast'.

By the time she felt she had sufficiently dried herself and had thrown on a t-shirt I'd offered her when I sent her off to the bathroom, I was already half way through my pop-tarts. I heard her curse when she stubbed her toe on my bedroom door, and hurried over to her where she was jumping up and down in the doorway cussing like a sailor.

"Are you alright, Bells?" I asked, wrapping an arm around her to steady her. She gripped my shoulder, still holding her barefoot. She had tears gathered in the rims of her deep, brown eyes, and I decided to lift her, taking her over to the couch and setting her down. I sat on the ottoman and pulled her ailing foot into my lap, inspecting it.

"I'm okay, Edward," she protested, still frowning but looking a little better all ready. I rubbed her red pinky-toe, not responding to her because I knew she was fine, but stubbed toes always hurt like the little bitches they were. She sighed, relaxing into the couch, so I massaged her foot for a while until I heard her moan, at which point little Eddie sprang to full attention so quickly it was painful. I groaned, lifting her delicate little foot and kissing her poor toe.

"I'm gonna go grab you your breakfast and then I'll shower real quick, alright?"

Bella nodded. I snatched the remote off of the couch cushion and turned the TV on for her, putting on the news and then handing the remote to her. Then I stood and walked to the kitchen, tossing the rest of my milk back and cramming the last of my pop-tarts into my mouth. I carried her milk and pop-tarts out to her, setting her plate on the floor and her glass on the small table beside the sofa. She thanked me, grinning at me as she bit into the now-cold strawberry microwave pastry and hummed.

"Er elum," I answered through a mouthful of said confection, and I could hear Bella laughing as I walked away. I was sorely tempted to flip her off, and while she couldn't have seen me doing so, I could tell she would have just know. I turned the shower water on and stripped when something came to mind. I had no problem walking around without my clothes on, so I simply traveled out to my bedroom door and saw Bella happily listening to a news segment about holiday cookies.

"Bella," I called for her attention. Her shot up in my direction.

"Yeah?"

"Alice and Jasper are leaving this evening so they should be over here sometime later to say goodbyes, okay? They said they'd call first, but just wanted to make sure you knew."

"Kay."

I went back to the shower and spent some time in 'Fantasy Bella Land'. Oh, what a beautiful place to be.

~*~

"It's snowing, love," I told her from where I stood by the window. She stood carefully, keeping her hands on the everything around her. I was sure she was trying to refrain from injuring herself again. I chuckled and got over to her, pulling her the rest of the way to the window and pressed her hand to the cold glass. She giggled.

"So cold. Edward, let go." She tried to pull her hand from beneath mine and I allowed her, only because I wanted to open the window and I needed both hands to do that. Sliding the window open, I could feel the cool air whip around our barely covered bodies. Bella shivered and hid behind me, pressing a kiss into my back as her warm skin pressed to mine. I shuddered, too, but not because I was cold.

Reaching out, I scooped up a handful of snow off of my window sill and grabbed Bella's hand again, running her fingers through the snow in my palm. She grinned at me, but in confusion. It melted quickly, and as soon as it did, I wiped my wet palm on my pants, then closed the window.

"What..." Bella trailed off curiously. I pulled her into my arms as swayed us back and forth, my cheek pressed to the top of her head.

"You had to feel the beauty of this winter's first snow," I whispered.

~*~

"_In the meadow we can build a snowman_ Then pretend that he is Parson Brown_ He'll say: are you married?_ We'll say: No man_ But you can do the job when you're in town..."_

I continued playing on the keyboard as Bella snuggled against me, both of us still in the clothes from earlier, toying around. When Bella had started humming "Let It Snow," I'd decided it was time to break out my lovely keyboard for her again. She'd only ever truly heard me play just for her once. So, now I was singing Holiday Carols with her. Her voice had been like little bells when she sang "Let It Snow" and now I was singing "Winter Wonderland" to her.

_"When it snows, ain't it thrilling_ Though your nose gets a chilling_ We'll froli__c and play, the Eskimo way_ Walking in a winter wonderland."_

I finished the peace and Bella leaned up, pressing kisses to my jaw.

"I love your voice. You sing so...beautifully Edward. It's magnificent."

She put her hand behind my head and gripped it, pulling my lips to meet hers. I didn't know how that song could have turned her on, but I wasn't complaining.

~*~

Mine and Bella's clothes were happily throwing a party together on the floor, and Bella and I were about to throw a party in my bed right this moment. I kissed her hungrily as she tugged at my hair in that rough way which drove me insane.

"God, I love you," she gasped against my lips as I lowered my weight onto her.

I aligned myself with her hot, dripping core. "I love you t--"

There was a knock at the door, and we both groaned in annoyance. Fuck. Since neither of us had gotten a phone call, and it wasn't even noon yet, I assumed it was just John from next door having forgotten his key again. He did this often. As in every other day or so.

"Stay right here. I swear to God, if you move a single muscle before I come back, I may just be forced..." I leaned into her ear, whispering, "to punish you."

She shivered with a moan as I pushed off the bed and grabbed a pair jeans that were lying on the floor. For some reason, I really didn't feel like wearing those pants Alice had given me...

However, when I opened the door, it definitely wasn't John standing on the other side.

My eyes widened in shock. Oh crap, this so wasn't happening. No, not right now.

"Edward! Dear! Good, you're home!" The woman wrapped her arms around me, clearly oblivious to the fact that my jeans weren't even zipped and that I wasn't wearing a shirt. I was blushing all shades of red as I looked over her shoulder at the man standing behind her. When I finally came to my senses, I cleared my throat, hugging the woman back.

"Mom, Dad...wha-what are you...um...doing here?"

I suddenly heard a thud in my bedroom and then a whole string of profanities. I pried my mom off me while my dad gave me a strange then knowing look.

"I'll be right back," I muttered.

I dashed back to my bedroom and pulled the door shut, seeing Bella on the floor by my bed, wrapped up in my sheets, holding her head in her hands and groaning. I immediately knelt beside her and began to look her over. "Did you fall? Are you alright? Are you--"

She cut me off. "Physically yes. But...fucking hell Edward!" she whispered fiercely. "You're parents? Crap! I have to get dressed! Oh, shit, shit, shit! I can't...no, Edward, I can't go out there and..." she swallowed hard, "face them."

I grabbed her face in my own hands, making her look up at me even if she couldn't see me. "Love, don't worry. They'll love you. There's nothing to worry about," I tried to soothe.

"They'll know I was just about to boink their son!" she protested in a whimper.

I couldn't stop the Emmett-like guffaw that escaped me.

She smacked my chest. "Shut up, you ass!"

Standing from the ground, she tried to feel around my room for my dresser where I had put her small duffel bag yesterday afternoon. It held enough clothes for a few days, as we really hadn't been planning on heading down to her apartment everyday so she could change.

She seemed to get more and more frustrated when she couldn't find the bag, and I sighed, standing and going to where I had moved it this morning, beside my dresser on the ground. Grabbing underwear, a pair of jeans, and a long sleeve shirt, I stood and turned back to my beautiful, frustrated girlfriend.

The flustered woman dressed faster than ever before once I'd handed her the clothes and I once again sighed heavily as I went to dress myself as well, putting on a pair of boxers under my jeans this time and one of the nice sweaters Alice had bought me last year. As Bella was struggling to run a brush through her hair, I heard my cell phone ring.

"Mom and Dad are heading over to your place and I totally didn't think to warn you until just now I'm so so so so sorry and I hope they aren't there yet so you have a chance to stop with the nakey fun times and--"

"Breathe, Alice," I commanded. "They're already here and you're completely forgiven. Please calm down. I love you and I will talk to you later."

I heard her soft, "Sorry again!" before I hit 'End'.

I took another breath to see that Bella had finished getting ready but was still looking around for something.

"Edward, where are my glasses?" she asked frantically.

I placed a hand on her shoulder and kissed her forehead, picking up her purse from the chair I'd set it on. I grabbed her glasses and then slid them onto her face.

"Ready?" I inquired when she finally took her first calm breath since my parents had made their unannounced visit to my apartment.

She swallowed audibly. "No. Let's go."

I chuckled and wrapped an arm around her waist, carefully helping her navigate toward the door and opening it for her. She walked through and folded in on herself as she nervously stepped forward, one baby step at a time. My parents had made themselves at home, looking apologetic, on my couch.

"I'm sorry, Edward. Your mother and I were just so excited to see you again that we didn't stop to think--"

"Oh, shut up, Carlisle," my mom teased, smacking his shoulder lovingly.

I chuckled nervously, rubbing Bella's shoulder in what I hoped was a reassuring way.

"Mom, Dad, this is Bella. Bella, these are my parents, Esme and Carlisle."

Bella's voice was soft. "It's a pleasure to meet you Missus and Doctor Cullen."

My mom shook her head. "Please, it's Esme and Carlisle. We're not that old...not yet."

I chuckled again, my mother always knowing how to break the ice. They stood, coming over to us. Mom pulled Bella into a warm hug, causing me to lose my hold on her. When she pulled back, my mom looked Bella up and down with a happy sparkle in her eyes before frowning at something as she reached Bella's face.

"Dear, let me see that beautiful face of yours. No need to hide from me," my mother requested, reaching up.

My mind didn't process what was happening quickly enough, and the second my mom's fingers had touched Bella's sunglasses, I knew this wasn't going to end well.

It was almost like it happened in slow motion, the way Bella suddenly jerked her head away and back up, stumbling over God knows what as she moved too quickly in an unknown environment. I watched, frozen, as she fell back to the floor immediately covered her face and my mom stood with a confused and hurt expression, holding Bella's glasses in her hands.

Both of my parents were stunned, just as I was, but I was suddenly broken out of it when I heard Bella's whimper/sob. It was soft, but it immediately broke me from my spell. I knelt beside her like I had in the bedroom, checking again for injuries, but Bella cringed, pushing me away.

"Don't," came her quiet but stern reply.

The rejection hit me hard, a pain instantly letting loose within me. "Bella...love, what's--"

I tried again, and the moment my fingers touched her skin, she pushed herself further from me.

"No."

"Please, my love, let me help you," I asked, hearing the way my voice was suddenly desperate.

I almost didn't hear her words, they were so quiet, but I did.

"Why...why didn't you tell them?"

_a/n: duh duh duh (dramatic music)...so, any guesses? what's gonna happen next? lemme know what you think and i'll get the next update out to you for saturday..._


	28. Meaning

_a/n: alright so I'm putting this one together really quickly because I have to go and babysit and I'm not sure if I'll have internet later. I just got home from New Moon. WAY WAY WAY better than Twilight. Taylor Lautner *sigh*. Gorgeous. Fight in Volterra *huh*. Weird. Charlie was pretty funny, to be honest. Anyway, all of it rocked. I liked where they ended it. The wolves were so cool. Bella did some stupid shit. Not gonna say more because anything else could ruin it for people who haven't seen it yet, but really this stuff you all already know either from seeing the tv spots/trailer and from reading the book. Loved it. My final opinion. Okay, now thank you to all you guys who reviewed. A lot of you gave me really good guesses. I hope you like this chapter. There are a lot of quotes and pieces from earlier chapters... and Edward gets pretty romantic later on and I think I even cried. On a quick note, has anyone seen "My Sister's Keeper"? I stayed home sick yesterday and before writing this I watched that movie. A real tear jerker. I'd suggest it to anybody. Absolutely amazing and well done and sooooooo sad!_

_**Dedication: Edward's Doll. **Te quiero, muchacha. Besos y abrazos, su escritor favorita, Jordi Brooke xoxo_

**Edward's POV**

_It was almost like it happened in slow motion, the way Bella suddenly jerked her head away and backed up, stumbling over God knows what as she moved too quickly in an unknown environment. I watched, frozen, as she fell back to the floor immediately covered her face and my mom stood with a confused and hurt expression, holding Bella's glasses in her hands._

_Both of my parents were stunned, just as I was, but I was suddenly broken out of it when I heard Bella's whimper/sob. It was soft, but it immediately broke me from my spell. I knelt beside her like I had in the bedroom, checking again for injuries, but Bella cringed, pushing me away._

_"Don't," came her quiet but stern reply._

_The rejection hit me hard, a pain instantly letting loose within me. "Bella...love, what's--"_

_I tried again, and the moment my fingers touched her skin, she pushed herself further from me._

_"No."_

_"Please, my love, let me help you," I asked, hearing the way my voice was suddenly desperate._

_I almost didn't hear her words, they were so quiet, but I did._

_"Why...why didn't you tell them?"_

I couldn't move, couldn't speak, could only stare with my mouth agape as Bella's pained expression, one I was sure mirrored my own, disappeared from my view, her curtain of hair falling around her. My eyes followed her as she slowly but determinedly stood from her place on the ground and carefully navigated her way to my bedroom.

If I hadn't seen her face - dark eyes hurting before she closed them to me permanently, her tears just beginning to gather; lips quivering just slightly as she did her best to speak and keep her voice strong; her cheeks red with embarrassment, with shame - her posture would have said it all to me. Her slumped shoulders. Her one arm wrapped tightly around her torso while the other sought to guide her. Her slow, unsure gait.

Defeat.

Rejection.

Pain.

No confidence. Low self-esteem.

A broken heart.

And yet, all I could do was kneel there, watching as she closed my bedroom door. I could hear her moving around, and I knew she was trying to get the few things she had here. Her toiletries in my bathroom. Her clothes on my floor. Wherever the hell she thought I'd put her coat.

My eyes continued to dart between my parents and the door. I didn't want to be rude. I'd not seen my parents since arriving here, and I'd already abandoned them shortly to help Bella out and dress my self. I could see the incredibly apologetic yet slightly confused looks on my parents faces as my eyes were on them again, and then they went back to the door longingly.

On my next pass, I watched realization dawn on my father's face.

"She's..." my father trailed off in surprise.

I nodded, still unable to get up or to speak.

_"Why...why didn't you tell them?"_

Why hadn't I told them? Why had I not told them? Dammit! How could have I been so stupid?!

I could only imagine what was going through Bella's mind at the moment as I wondered how to fix this.

_"...You have to understand that Bella doesn't ever believe she's enough for anybody...this probably just killed everything she's built up since the two of you got together. She only ever went out with a guy once before you, and that ended in the most deplorable manner ever. She's been afraid, and she's facing those fears to be with you. Please, just go to her..."_

I recalled Rosalie's words from the night Bella and I first made love, and they struck me hard. God, I had to go to her. I had to fix this. Yet I still couldn't stand.

_It was a quiet, peaceful, clear night when we stepped out onto the sidewalk and I thanked my lucky stars that it was meant to remain that way all evening. The wind whipped past us and Bella shivered, nuzzling into my side even more than she'd already been. She fit perfectly against me as I walked her along the sidewalk, warning her of the bumps and turns along the way until we returned to my car. I opened her door for her, but she didn't get in, instead turning to face me as she pulled her sunglasses off for the first time in public and looked up at me through her lashes. She was clearly uncomfortable, and I was just so thankful as I knew this was for me. Beautiful, wonderful woman I love._

The night I told her I loved her. She did it for me, always for me, no matter how much she hated not wearing them. No matter how uncomfortable with it she was because of her disability.

_"She's happy…she hasn't stopped smiling since she arrived – hell she's even smiling in her sleep…She never used to smile like this. I can't even remember a time when she was this happy. I'm not going to let anything ruin that..."_

Charlie's words as he spoke - argued - with Bella's mother that first night of Thanksgiving break.

_"Growing up blind in a small town where everyone else is normal wasn't as easy as my parents would have liked to think it'd be. Kids weren't kind to those who were different, and _everyone_ knew I was different. They would talk, they would tease, they would trick. They thought it was fun to 'play' with the defective kid. I always tried to act as normal as I could. I figured that if I didn't seem so different, they wouldn't have anything to make fun of me for. I worked hard to learn every surface of this town so well that I wouldn't need my cane. I asked Rosalie to help me dress just like the other girls. I trained my ears so that they were even more efficient than most people's eyes. I learned to act like I could see everything, even if I couldn't. I strove to be normal."_

Bella's words that next night.

_"Did you succeed?" I asked._

_"Sometimes."_

I felt my mother's hand on my shoulder, and I looked up at her as she placed Bella's glasses into my hand.

"Go to her. She needs you, and you need her. Don't let miscommunications destroy something so beautiful as what you have," Mom spoke softly, nodding toward the door.

And I swear I fucking bolted through that door. It was all I needed to get moving, and then I was there, watching her crawling on the floor to find a shirt that I had folded and placed on my dresser. She ignored my presence completely as I closed the door and walked toward her.

I placed a hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off.

"Bella, please, don't do this," I begged of her, brokenly, as I fell to the floor on my sorry ass.

She didn't answer, just stopped and sat on her own bottom, leaning her back against my bed and burying her head in her hands. I could hear her muffled sobs and wished I could reach out to her, comfort her, but I knew now that my touch would only bring her pain.

"Bella, I--"

But she cut me off. "Are you ashamed of me? Of my blindness? Are you just having fun with the blind girl, because you _can_?"

I flinched. That was like a slap in the face. "You know who I am, Bella. You know I wouldn't do that."

She shook her head. "Do I?"

Ouch. "What is that supposed to mean?"

She said nothing. She knew damn well that she knew me. Heart and soul, she knew me.

"Love, I am not ashamed of you. Not at all." She continued to hide her face from me, and I sighed, tapping the back of her hand with her glasses, knowing that when she put them on, I might never be given the opportunity to see her beautiful eyes again. She immediately snatched them from my grasp and put them on. She looked up, wiping her cheeks, but then turned her head away. It stung.

"I love you with my entire being, Isabella. I know who you are, I know your deepest desires, I know your essence, down to your very core. Nothing, and I mean nothing, about you would make me ashamed to be with you, to not want to shout to the entire world that I am with the most beautiful, loving, gracious, generous, selfless, caring, devoted, kind, determined, strong, tenacious, stubborn woman in existence...God, I don't care that you're blind. It doesn't matter--"

"It should."

"Why? Why should it matter? Bella, you've said it yourself. You are not defined by your disability. _You. Are. Not. Your. Disability_. You are the woman who has overcome so many obstacles in your life that so many have the luxury to not deal with and that others quail from. You doubt yourself so much, and I don't know how you possibly can."

I thought back to the words she said when we admitted our love to each other. I would remember them for the rest of my life.

"_I can promise you that there isn't one thing about you that I don't love with all of my heart. _And that you can possibly doubt that...it's painful to think that I obviously don't properly convey the depth of my feelings for you. Bella, my beautiful, brave Bella... Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning."

She turned her head to face me, and I could see the streaks of tears that still continued to travel down her face from below her glasses.

"You've given it meaning, Bella. You've made love mean something for me. How could ever be ashamed or embarrassed of the woman who will be the only one to ever do that for me?"

"Edward, I--"

I pressed my fingers to her lips. "If you feel like you must leave, that you no longer..." I swallowed hard when my voice cracked, "no longer wish to be with me, I understand that you may have your own reasons. Just...just know that leaving would take that meaning away, because love means one thing to me. It means _Bella_."

I took a deep breath and stood, turning to the dresser. I intended to grab the shirt Bella had been so diligently searching for, but my love's tiny, delicate, quivering hand grasped mine and stopped me. She pulled herself to stand, using my arm for leverage as I stiffened. When she'd stood upright, she laced her fingers through mine. She stood close enough that I could feel the heat of her body.

I waited to see what she would do, if maybe she would tell me off or slap me or say that she'd finally realized she was too good for me. I could have sworn she was done with me. She had to have been by now.

But instead, her other hand pushed her glasses slowly up so they rested in her hair, and I could have cried harder than I already was, just at being able to see those brown eyes again.

Her free hand, the one she didn't have tangled with my own, made it's way to my cheek and brushed away the wetness as she leaned forward until her head was against my chest. I leaned my face down to press a kiss to her forehead and then wrapped my free arm around her as she began to cry into my shirt. Her hand left my cheek and gripped my shirt.

I don't know how long it was that she cried into my shirt, but I continued to taste salt on my lips as my own tears escaped me.

Finally, she lifted her head to look at me, but I had to look away. I was still hurting. I was still waiting for her to deliver the final blow. I felt her hand on my cheek again. She forced my face to look down into hers.

"Look at me, Edward. See me when I say this. Unless I am unwanted, I will not leave. I cannot leave. I love you, you know I do, and I'm sorry I ever doubted your own emotions. I...You do show me. Everyday. With every touch, every kiss, every word." I felt my tense body begin to relax as her words brought such relief. Still, I sensed there was more.

"But..." I trailed off, still worried.

"But I need to know why you didn't tell them. I have to know..." she whispered, her voice breaking on the last word.

I pulled her head back to my chest, tucking it back under my chin. Knowing now that I could comfort her, that I was permitted to comfort her, was so... I couldn't even explain it.

"It wasn't intentional...I just...assumed that Alice had informed my parents already. I mean, you were her friend first and she certainly tells my mom everything...and I just thought that it really never came up in conversation because my parents were trying to be...tactful. I don't know I just..." I groaned and closed my eyes, suddenly feeling very, very stupid.

"Shhhh," Bella cooed, kissing the hollow at the base of neck. "You're rambling."

I chuckled and pressed another kiss to the top of her head. "I guess that's why they have that stupid sayings about assumptions...Man, I really do feel like an ass. A stupid ass."

Bella giggled and looked up at me, a bit of sparkle back in her eyes. "Yeah, but you're _my_ stupid ass."

I grinned and pressed another kiss to her forehead. "That I am, my love. Yours. Always."

"Oh, just shut up and kiss me already."

I chuckled and pressed my lips to hers, feeling the final repairs being made to what had not minutes ago been a slowly crumbling heart.

~*~

"Let's try this again," Bella suggested sheepishly as she stood before my parents who had, very patiently, waited for all of our drama to be over and then for us to both clean our faces up. Once we'd both felt very refreshed and a little less depressed, we'd come back out here, where they'd stared with concern on their faces. Now, we four sat in my living room with the desire to start this rocky introduction over.

"Bella, I'd really like to apologize. I should have--" my mom started, but Bella held up her hand.

"Please, Missis Cullen. Your apologies are unnecessary."

My mom just smiled. "Please, Bella, really. It's Esme. Formalities are just as unnecessary as my apologies apparently are."

Bella nodded and we fell into a slightly awkward silence for a few moments before I broke it.

"I didn't know you guys were coming here," I commented.

My dad rolled his eyes. "You think you'd remember I have a medical conference to attend every other year in San Francisco, son."

I chuckled. "Right, right. So you guys were in San Francisco and then decided to come up here and then fly home tonight with Ali and Jazz?"

"Yep," my mom answered, popping the 'p'.

Bella giggled at that, and I nudged her with my elbow which only made her giggle a little more. My parents weren't like most people in our neighborhood, society, social class, however you wanted to put it. They were like two teenagers, completely in love with each other and amazing to watch. They weren't stuck up. They would give you their shirts off their backs if you needed them to. People were more important than reputation and materialism any day.

"That's really nice. It's especially great that you get the chance to see Edward." Bella stage whispered, "He's really missed you guys, even if he won't admit it."

I chuckled and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to me. I desperately needed to be sure she was with me at the moment. I'd been so afraid I would lose her, and the fact that I could of have because of my own damn stupidity wasn't sitting well with me. I just needed to continue to have reassurance that she was still here.

My parents laughed at Bella's theatrics as well. We all spoke for a while before my parents once again broached the subject of me traveling back to Chicago with them, Alice, and Jasper tonight.

"You know that I'd love to go home, but it's much more important for me to spend my whole holiday break with Bella."

I felt a hard pinch at my side and yelped, jumping away from the crab that had replaced my girlfriend. I rubbed my side, pouting, as I took in the annoyance on Bella's face, though I couldn't quite read all of her other emotions as her glasses were hiding her eyes from me. Those beautiful, expressive eyes.

Bella smiled at my parents sweetly then turned back to me, leaning into my ear and whispering, truly whispering this time, with an annoyed hiss. "You will not stay here on my account, Edward. You should spend the holidays with your families. _That_ is what Christmas and New Years and all those other holidays are _really_ about."

I frowned at her. "You know damn well that you are my family just as much as my parents and sister are, Isabella, so do not start that with me." I must have spoken too loudly because my mom quickly interjected.

"We were really hoping you'd join us as well, Bella. Edward would just be Sullen Cullen if he had to be away from you, anyway, and I'd really like to get to know the girl who's befriended my only daughter and turned my only son into a love sick puppy." Of course my mother had to take a shot at me. I glared playfully at her.

Still, I looked down at Bella. We'd only discussed this shortly, and I'd put an end to it before it could really begin, but then again, I really wanted to spend the holidays surrounded by everyone I loved. Bella had spent countless hours trying to convince me that I should spend the holidays in Chicago. I would only go, however, if she came along. No way was I spending our first Christmas away from her. No way in hell.

I leaned into her and kissed her neck, instantly feeling her skin heat. So my parents were watching. Did she honestly think I'd gotten all ooey-gooey, lovey-dovey because I enjoyed romance novels and chick flicks? No. My father was a true romantic, and I'd learned from the best. And my mom made sure I knew damn well how to treat and woo and charm a lady.

I wrapped my arm back around her and placed my other hand over hers. I kissed the shell of her ear and could feel her stiffen. She was trying to resist. Wasn't going to work.

"Love, let's go to Chicago. Come with me, and spend Christmas in a new city. We can bake cookies in my mom's amazing kitchen, and you'll be able to smell the stunning evergreen tree from all over the house. Peppermint and hot chocolate and a fire burning in the fireplace. We can build snowmen and play around in the fresh snow in the yard. I can play carols for you on a _real _baby grand." I could tell she was wavering. "Let me show you _my _world."

And just like that, I knew she was mine.

"Esme, Carlisle, I know that Edward and I would both like to join you for the holidays, as long as we wouldn't be imposing."

I chuckled. I won.

I kissed her neck and she batted me away.

"Wonderful!" my mother squealed, hopping up and pulling Bella into a hug. "Oh, dear, we'll have so much fun. You wouldn't be imposing at all. The both of you should get to packing your bags. Oh, good, I'll call up Janice and have her set up your room for the tow of you." My mom continued to babble on and on, still squeezing the crap out of my girlfriend. Of course, this only served to make me laugh incredibly hard, and Dad's eye roll didn't lessen the humor at all.

When finally my parents had left, much, much later might I add, I took Bella into my arms. "Are we good?" I asked her.

She nodded against me. "We're good."


	29. You and Me, Home

_a/n: so, I hope you all had an awesome Thanksgiving, because I know mine sucked balls...And now my day just went to shit because I spent a whole half hour editing this chapter and writing an a/n just for FanFiction to sign me out SECONDS before I hit save and for me to lose everything I did. Yep. Shit..._

_Anyway, I'm going to skip over all of the unimportant stuff that I wrote and get straight to the heart of my author's note for this chapter. I wanted to thank all of you guys who are writing reviews, because I really appreciate hearing from you all. But there were two that really struck me, ones I'll probably remember for...a long time to come. And I wanted to share them with you. I received them both since posting the last chapter, though one of them was put on my Thanksgiving chapter :)_

_jteems:  
"Please continue your story I need to know what happens. My girlfriend is  
blind, and I've never read a love story from that angle. Let's just say I'm  
obsessed."_

_Edward's Doll:  
"...whenever im sad, i check my email and if im lucky u will hav updated. thankyou so much!  
im so happy you chose to do this story, because its really been my support  
systerm for the last three months, even tho u didnt know tht :-D ..."_

_It's reviews like those that really make writing truly worth the hard work. That make writing this something beyond just filling time and keeping busy. I don't know how to explain the feeling...but really, thank you to both of you, because it was just...great to hear those things from each of you. jteems, good luck with your relationship and be good to your girl, okay? and Edward's Doll, when times get tough, fight through the struggle and never give up. If there are things I've learned thus far in life, they're that there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, and what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Keep going, keep fighting, everything has to get better eventually._

_Anyway, let me explain a few things about this chapter and then those of you who haven't already can finally stop reading my ramblings and get on to the story. There are three different POVs, so don't get confused, and if you do, I apologize in advance, but they all just fit in. Next, at Edward's POV, I want everyone out there to go ahead and listen to "You and Me" by Lifehouse. That's what I was listening to when I wrote that part of the chapter (on repeat, yes, the entire time...) and I think that it really makes the difference in truly feeling the mood that I want to get across during that. Edward also flashesback a lot during his POV and they're all from past chapters, in case you don't realize that while reading. He's very...sappy and sentimental as he finally gets to show Bella **his** world. And, it's around the holidays and Edward is still a little... antsy after his and Bella's first big emotional "shit-hits-the-fan" moment... So, as you can imagine, he's just having all these moments where he recalls the times in the beginning where they were just...them._

_Dedication: **PattinsonGirl513 **... you rock girl. Thanks so much!!!!_

_So, I'll shut up now..._

_xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_

**Bella's POV**

I could hardly hear anything. The sound of the plane - no wait, jet; the private jet that the Cullens owned and were flying us to Chicago on - drowned out everything. I felt vulnerable. I was vulnerable. I hated flying, but I was more than willing to do this for Edward. So I endured the pain in my ears, the constant need to pop my ear drums, the loud humming of the engines, the loss of my most important sense, and the worst of headaches because I knew it was nothing as long as Edward spent his holidays in Chicago with his family, where he should.

It helped that his hand gripped mine in a firm hold.

The jet was luxurious, I would give them that. I almost didn't notice the takeoff as I was too preoccupied with the comfiest seat I'd ever had the pleasure of sitting in. Almost.

I chewed on another ice chip. Did I mention that I'm pretty nauseated for the first half hour, at least, when I fly?

"Bella!" Alice sang into my ear and I cringed away, both in surprise and pain.

"Yes?" I asked, keeping my voice as even as possible. I knew that she was happily taking the seat next to mine which had been empty just a moment before.

"Jasper's asleep. I'm bored."

I laughed. That explained it.

"Don't you have a magazine?" I asked. It was all she'd talked about on the drive to the airport. Her brand new _Elle_.

"Well, yeah, but I really want to--"

I cut her off. "For the hundredth time, I will not tell you."

She'd been trying to guess her Christmas present since I'd told her I'd finished all of my shopping. It was getting on her nerves. I wouldn't tell her, and it was the only gift she failed to guess correctly.

"Pleeeease!"

"No."

She 'hmph'ed and then she was gone. I assumed she'd gone back to Jasper, because those two didn't separate often. I heard Edward's chuckle in my ear and felt his lips on my neck.

"You cannot begin to understand how thoroughly amusing this is..."

"What is?" I questioned.

"Alice and whatever the hell it is that you bought her. She's dumbstruck like she's never been before. I really need a camera so I might have photographic proof for future generations."

I laughed at that, though winced as my headache only seemed to worsen. The hum was getting louder and the pressure in my ears was increasing. Groaning, I put my head in my hands.

I felt Edward moving, and then his hand slipped from mine. My brow furrowed as I wondered where he disappeared to, though he wasn't gone long. When he returned, he unbuckled my seatbelt and helped my from my seat. I stood on nervous legs, the pressure making my weight feel all wrong and my balance completely off. He slowly led me a little bit further into their jet and then sat down, pulling me down between his legs.

Okay, I changed my mind. _This_ was the comfiest chair I had ever sat in. It only took me a moment to realize we were on a couch. I told you the jet was luxurious. A fucking couch!

Edward helped me to properly situate myself between his legs, the both of us stretched ourselves out. I leaned my back against his chest, my head comfortable on his shoulder. He settled something over us. A blanket. Something was put in my hands, and I realized it was a book. One of _my_ books. _Romeo and Juliet_. Oh, did I love this man. I realized he must have pulled it from my bookcase when I was packing.

_"Edward!" I squealed._

_We'd spent over an hour after Esme and Carlisle had left talking seriously. There were a lot of things we had to talk about, mainly about both of us doubting each other's love. But now, we were both feeling a little lighter. We were good._

_Now, Edward was doing his best to distract me as I packed. And he had already succeeded many times. I would have been done an hour ago if he wasn't here. He slipped his hands under my shirt and sucked on my neck._

_"You can't fool me, Bella. You want to fool around," he teased. He knew I was getting annoyed because I knew he was only doing this because riling me up was amusing for him._

_"Get out," I told him, serious._

_His entire body stiffened._

_I sighed. "Edward, not like that," I whined. "I just meant go into the living room and let me finish. I'm nearly done."_

_He pecked my neck and I could feel his entire body relax. "Okay. If you really want..."_

_"I just want to be done."_

_Once he'd left the room, I quickly threw in the last bits that I had to and then zipped up the suitcase. I pursed my lips, knowing I still had to get the Christmas gifts there. I grabbed the duffel bag I'd had my clothes in last night and went to my closet, removing the gifts I'd hidden behind the clothes. Esme's and Carlisle's were still there as Alice and Jasper were supposed to have been taking them to Chicago in one of their empty bags, but that wasn't necessary now. Alice's was in its envelope, and the other small package for her sat on top. Jasper's and Edward's were in their envelopes, and I pulled those out, putting all of those into the bag._

_Finally, I reached the gift that had been most important to me. I place a kiss on the front, rubbing my fingers over it. It wasn't wrapped yet, and I wasn't planning on wrapping it._

_"Bella?"_

_My heart beat rapidly as I hurriedly hid it in the bag and zippered that as well._

_"Yes?" I asked._

_I heard his footsteps and his breathing as he entered the room, wrapping his arms around me from behind. "Are you ready?" he asked me._

_I nodded. He grabbed both of my bags off the bed and brought them out into the living room where mine were. I heard him zipper up one of his own bags and then he grabbed me around the waist. He pulled me against him tightly, pressing his lips to mine in a surprising, quick yet passionate kiss._

_"Thank you for doing this, love. I promise, you won't regret coming."_

_I kissed his neck, giggling as I placed my hand on his face to feel his brilliant smile. I assumed his smile would look incredibly goofy, which only made me giggle a little more. "I love you."_

"God, you're too good for me," I muttered as I turned my head to press a kiss to his chin.

He kissed my collarbone as I opened up my book. "Nope, but I just might finally be good enough." I began running my fingers over the raised bumps on the page as Edward traced lazy patterns over my thighs and buried his face into my hair. Not four scenes into the book, I felt his lips along the shell of my ear. "Let me know when you're at Romeo and Juliet's first meeting. I'll trade lines with you."

I nodded.

God, could this man be any more perfect than he already was?

Clearly, it was possible, as his velvet voice began to recite the words of Romeo, his lips caressing my ear as he spoke.

**Esme's POV** _(a/n: bet y'all didn't expect that one)_

I watched my son with Bella. I hadn't seen such a pure, perfect love ever before in my life. Even with as deeply and rawly as mine and Carlisle's emotions ran, I couldn't fathom having such a love that could withstand challenges like theirs at such a young age. It was...I couldn't put into words what exactly it was.

I still felt horribly guilty about what happened earlier. I had been a bit pushy, wanting to truly see the beautiful woman that had captured my son's heart and so easily befriended my darling daughter. I hadn't stopped to think that my actions could be rude or unwelcome. I hadn't stopped to think at all, really.

I'd been frightened as she stepped away and stumbled as I held her glasses, frozen. She had this terrified look on her face, and immediately scrambled to cover her own face. And then her face morphed as she let out a sob and wouldn't even allow my son to touch her. I just couldn't understand what was going on. It wasn't long before my son wore his own heartbroken expression as the beautiful girl stood and carefully went back to their bedroom.

Carlisle had caught on before I had, and Edward just sat there, trying to figure out what to do. When Carlisle informed me, I felt even worse that I had before. My thoughts had been something along the lines of _Oh, lord, what have I done?_

I handed the sunglasses back over to Edward, understanding with sudden clarity the results of my actions and the thoughts that surely ran through the girl's head. Of course, I knew differently as Edward scrambled off to her room. My children had assumed the other had told us and that was all there was too it. But that surely wasn't what _Bella _was thinking.

I tried not to listen to them, but I could so easily overhear what they were saying through the thin walls.

I smiled often at Edward's words. He learned well from his father and I. He was certainly quite the romantic, though we both knew we couldn't take all the credit. He had come into his own, his style just a bit different than ours. Still, his words were so absolutely beautiful. Finally, after a long while, they reemerged. Bella wore a sheepish expression, though I didn't know why. None of it had been her fault.

Following that, we'd started over, and after a bit we had managed to get them to come home with us for the holidays. This year would be interesting, that was for sure.

I presently continued to watch Edward and Bella, who wore a pained expression as she gripped tightly to Edward's hand and chewed ice chips. Poor girl clearly hated flying. I could understand why Edward had chosen not to come originally. He had probably already known about this.

Alice plopped down beside Bella and loudly begged to know about her Christmas gift, causing Bella to cringe before responding negatively, the hint of finality in her tone. Good lord, no one told Alice no, but obviously Bella was never swain by the pout she couldn't see. Lucky little girl. Giving up, for now, Alice went back to her seat beside a sleeping Jasper and cuddled into his side, closing her eyes with a contented smile on her lips,

Edward and Bella spoke among themselves, and I couldn't hear what they said, but Edward finally stood and retreated to the back of the jet where we stored our luggage. It was only a minute or so before he returned, carrying what appeared to be a book. He helped Bella from her seat and over to the lounge area of the jet, sitting down against the arm and then settling her between his legs. He covered them with a blanket and she leaned back against him happily as he placed the book in her hands. Whispering words into her ear, he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her hair. She wore a look of pure adoration as she kissed his chin and then settled down to read her book.

"To be young and in love," Carlisle spoke in my own ear.

I raised an eyebrow. "I'm still young, old man. I get that title too."

He chuckled and grinned, a smile that was just as crooked as Edward's. I just happily squeezed his hand and rested my head on his shoulder. He lifted the arm rest from between us and unbuckled both of our seat belts before pulling my into his side and wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Love you," I whispered into his ear.

He kissed my temple. "As I you. Always."

**Edward's POV **_(a/n: if you guys want to understand my state of mind while writing, go on youtube and pull up **"You and Me" by Lifehouse**, because that was what was playing as I wrote this part and it just...really fits and sounds right with this part.)_

I held Bella close to my side as I helped her off the plane and into the black SUV parked not forty feet away. She nuzzled her face into my chest as we walked, her hand placed, as always, over my heart while her other arm settled tightly around my waist. She yawned loudly as we walked down the steps, and I chuckled at the sleepy expression on her face. Mom and Alice had already gotten themselves settled in the middle row of seats, so I helped her over the folded seat and into the back row. I reached for her seatbelt but she just laughed and swatted my hands away.

"I can do that all on my own, Edward Cullen," she chided teasingly.

_We all walked out and Bella gripped onto me, not even bothering to try using her cane, which did not escape my notice, nor did it Rosalie's and Emmett's, judging by their surprised faces. I kept my arm raveled tightly around her waist and hers was the same around mine as she leaned into me._

_"There's a bump," I whispered to her as I noticed the upturned sidewalk while I walked to the parking lot with her. She probably knew the way all on her own, but I didn't want to risk any mishaps, especially not with Emmett watching. When we reached my car, I opened the door for her and helped her inside. I buckled her seat belt for her, making her laugh._

_"I can do that all on my own as well, Edward Cullen."_

_I grinned, pecking her cheek. "I know, but I needed another excuse to touch you."_

_She smiled in return and I closed the door gently..._

"I know, love, I know."

I kissed her lips tenderly and then pulled back to see her wistful smile. I placed a quick peck to her temple and extracted myself from the car to get our bags.

Between Dad, Jasper, the driver, the pilot, and myself, we were able to get Alice's bags off the jet and into the trunk of the car in two trips. Dad got the small suitcase he and Mom had packed. Jasper grabbed Bella's suitcase and I took mine. The driver took Bella's bag of gifts and the pilot took mine. Everything was jammed into the trunk of the SUV, pretty successfully.

Dad sat up front in the passenger seat and Jasper sat beside Alice, behind the driver. I took my place in the back row and wrapped my arm around my drowsy Bella. She leaned her head on my shoulder and we began whispering back and forth about random things. The heat in the car blasted warmly, blowing across our shivering bodies as Bella snuggled closer to me.

The car moved slowly, traffic and snow keeping us from our usual speed. I forgot how much I always missed Chicago when I went away. It was my home, the place I truly loved. I looked down at the woman tucked into my side, her fingers toying with mine.

_No_, I corrected my earlier statement,_ Bella is my home, my only true love. Chicago is just a place, and without Bella I have no doubt that right now I'd be missing Seattle with all my heart. Bella is home._

I felt her hand on my face, stroking my cheek reverently. I smiled down at her, even if she couldn't see it. Her thumb passed over my lips, and I pecked it.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

"What's your home like?" she asked me.

_You_, I wanted to say, wanted to admit that my home was just a house if she weren't nearby, but I knew that wasn't what she meant.

_We sat down on her couch afterward, me leaning against the arm with her between my legs, leaning back against my chest. I ran my hands up and down her arms as she continued to hum with the music. Her fingers ran along the tops of my thighs in a gentle manner, causing me to release a relaxed sigh._

_"Edward?" Bella asked, getting my attention._

_"Yes, Bella?"_

_She moved so that she sat in my lap sideways and I turned so my back was against the couch. She tucked her head into my shoulder and removed her sunglasses for the first time of her own accord, folding them and tucking them into the neck of my shirt. She placed her hand on my chest as I could feel the heat of her face seeping through my shirt and I caught sight of the red blush on her cheeks. Her eyes were opened, so I pulled my back just a little so I could look into them._

_"Edward...what...what do you look like?"_

I hummed as I tried to think of how to describe it to her.

"It's...big and open and welcoming and filled with memories and warm feelings and smiles and family," I answered. I knew that she didn't care what it looked like. She didn't care about whether the house was white or neon orange or if the columns were covered in ivy or vines with flowers. So I gave her the answer she wasn't expecting to get, the answer that she would understand.

_Her hand returned to my chest and her head came up off my shoulder as she looked me in the eyes, as if she could really see me._

_"Thank you."_

_"For what?" I asked her._

_"For telling me."_

_I smiled, bringing her hand up off my chest and running her fingers over my lips so she could feel the expression. She tilted her head to the side for a moment. "Is your smile crooked, Edward?"_

_I chuckled. "Just a bit." She laughed and pressed a kiss to my lips as she brushed her thumb over my cheek like she would do occasionally._

_She paused her stroking for a moment before taking her other hand up and cupping my other cheek. "I truly love to do this," she whispered, running her fingers over my face as my eyes closed at the small electricity humming through my skin with her touch._

_"This is heaven," I muttered incoherently, and she laughed..._

She giggled and I grinned at her. She rubbed her thumb over my smile again and grinned back at me before her hands moved back into my scalp and combed through my hairs. Her nails sparked electricity in my skin as I let my head fall back and my grin became lazy with satisfaction.

"This is heaven," I whispered to her, pulling her closer to me as she pushed herself up just a bit and kissed my cheek. Hitting a bump in the road, the car jumped and Bella fell back into her seat with a yelp. I chuckled loudly and she pouted at me, pulling her glasses down her little nose and leveling me with a glare.

I just continued to chuckle while she 'hmph'ed and crossed her arms over her chest, turning away from me.

After over an hour in the car, we finally pulled up the the house. Well, if you could call it a house, because I knew my home was no mere _house_. It was an oversized mansion that my mother loved with all of her heart and had spent years perfecting and refurbishing until it was perfect in her eyes. She would die before she sold this mansion.

Once Jasper folded the seat forward, I jumped out of the car and helped Bella down. The snow flattened below our feet and Jasper and I snickered as we heard my mom getting on my dad's case about the driveway not being cleared.

"I mean, honestly, Carlisle. Someone could slip and fall or, heaven forbid, Alice could get her favorite _Jimmy Choos_ wet."

I tried to hold back my laughter and Bella snickered lowly beside me. Even Alice had to stifle a giggle as Dad promptly pulled out his cell phone and called up the service we usually got to come and clear the snow from our driveway.

Mom scurried into the house and the first thing I did was lead Bella up the stone steps, holding her tighter when she slipped, and into the front foyer.

"Home, sweet home," Alice sighed behind me.

I leaned into Bella's ear and whispered, "With you here, it finally, truly is."


	30. Someday

_So, let me start by saying I AM SOOOOOOOO SORRY!!!! I've just had a really...draining 2 weeks. I wake up at 6 for school, I go to school, then I go directly to cheerleading practice, then I go home to do homework, and then I go to sleep. Rinse and repeat. I've been just totally lifeless for the past 2 weeks and writing just hasn't been even remotely possible. Anyways, I finally got this put together. Not my original plan for the chapter, but like I've said, sometimes the characters run away from me. So this is what I came up with. Hey, it had to come up sometime, right? Sorry it's short, but at least there's something, and it's super important._

_So, I've already given this girl a time machine, but clearly I need to give her a dedication, too, because she deserves it! So here's to **Belle10108**...ILY!!!!_

_xoxo Jordi Brooke xoxo_

**Edward's POV**

Alice and Jasper stayed for late dinner before going over to the Whitlock house where they would be spending the first half of their vacation. Alice had enthusiastically joined my mother as they took my sweet girl on a tour of our...huge house, promising to make it quick though it had lasted nearly two hours. I'd admit, that was likely the fastest that they had ever shown anyone the house.

While they did that, I sat with my father in the den, watching the news quietly for the first fifteen minutes before he cleared his throat, clearly wanting to have a conversation.

As I looked at my dad, I noticed he seemed different. In some ways, he had aged, while in others he seemed to have grown younger. It was strange. His blonde hair had a few just barely noticeable gray hairs, and he somehow looked more worn, as though the past few months since we'd last seen each other had been a struggle. He looked tired, too. And yet, his eyes had a brighter sparkle, and his skin a more youthful glow. His smile hadn't changed at all, giving him just a slightly boyish appearance, and the blue of his irises seemed just a bit more brilliant. It was amazing to see the changes in him. I wondered, briefly, if I looked much different from when I left - other than the constantly goofy smile and googly eyes that were always present since first meeting my Bella.

"How do you do it?" my dad asked me, breaking me from my silent musing.

Confusion surely laced my features. "Do what?"

"Handle Bella's...blindness. It has to be difficult. How does it all work? Do you help her-"

I cut him off before he could say anything more. "Bella is wholly independent of me, and I only help her to make things easier on both of us or because I enjoy it. She does not-"

My dad cut me off with a small smile on his face, shaking his head. "Of course, son, I know that. I meant no offense to her. I guess what I mean to say is...What is it like to be in love with a woman who will only ever judge for the things you say and do? And what is it like to be loved by a woman who is so strong and...so stubborn - I believe that's how you've described her sometimes - when all you want to do is be sure she doesn't lift a finger or hurt herself or get upset by others who aren't quite so understanding?" He'd rushed through all of this, and while I felt this was likely different than his original line of questioning, and I did know that my father had never meant any sort of cruel words.

I breathed deeply for just a moment, trying to collect my thoughts before speaking.

"It's...It's love, so what else can I say. I mean...I'll do whatever it takes...as long as she's happy, you know? And, sure, she's fiercely independent and...strong willed...but she knows when she can't do something, and she...she gets that I want to help simply because I love her, and not because I think she _can't_ do something...The other day she mentioned that I seemed to...to just anticipate and accommodate her needs without even realizing I'm doing it. And she says she really loves it. It's like...like we're so connected...so tied together through our emotions that...that it just all works the right way.

"And how do I feel about being judged solely on who I am? There nothing I have ever wanted more than for that to be the only reason I'm loved by a woman.

"Well, she loves me because of that, and apparently I have a pretty sexy voice," I finished with a joke, trying to lightened the seriousness of the conversation. Dad nodded with a soft chuckle.

"It's great, isn't it? Love, I mean. To be in so deep that you think you've finally reached the heavenly bottom, only to find there's more waiting for you if you just try and swim a little deeper," he commented.

This is the side of my dad which had always been a favorite. To see the love in his eyes as he described what the connection felt like to him, the connection between him and my amazing mother, that was something beautiful to see, and I hoped that, years down the road, I could look at my own son or daughter and say the same exact things about Bella, and that my child would see exactly what I saw now. If that were to happen, I would feel like I had at least done something right.

_Woah, woah, woah. Stop right there, buddy. Kids? Aren't you supposed to marry to woman first? Getting a little ahead of yourself there..._

I chuckled at myself, but couldn't help thinking about it all.

My mind began to conjure beautiful images as my dad returned to watching TV.

_I stood there in my tux, looking at myself in the mirror when I felt a large hand and a slightly smaller, more rough one land on each of my shoulders. Charlie and Emmett both stood beside me, on either side, looking at me with smiles on their faces. Charlie gave my shoulder a squeeze as I looked back at him, giving him a nervous grin._

_"No cold feet, I hope," he stated with a raised eyebrow, though I was sure he knew the answer._

_I chuckled. "No sir, not even cool toes." The line was pretty corny, but I was nervous. It wasn't that I was going to marry Bella today, because we had actually married three months ago in a small ceremony in Seattle, on which was just for us. No, it was that today I would stand in front of some two hundred people who I really didn't particularly care for to 'marry' the love of my life._

_Still, it was a treat as I stood up there, watching my Bella walk down the aisle with her father. Oh my, she was stunning. Her hair was styled in elegant curls with surely painful pins but it was amazing. Her veil was long, going down her back and hitting the floor. Her prefect white dress was...well, perfect, fitting her body in all the right ways and making her look like the princess - no, the queen - she really was, the trail following for some 20 feet behind her._

_But what brought tears to my eyes was that she walked down the aisle on her father's arm without her sunglasses, standing before so many with her deep brown orbs revealed for all to see, and not a single insecurity showing in them. Charlie placed her delicate hand in my, and I kissed the back of it, going through the ceremony without a care in the world because this woman...this was the woman I loved with everything in me, not the one who hid herself because she was afraid of what others may think of her blindness, not the one who had been hurt in the past by others. No, this was the woman who bared her soul to me, the one who only I ever saw._

_And now she was showing that beautiful woman for the entire world to see._

I looked up from my lap and rubbed at my eyes, feeling a little moisture there. God, I was such a girl. I tried my hardest to focus on the Snuggie commercial on TV, but it wasn't long before I was once again off in my own little world.

_"Love?! Are you home?!" I called into the seemingly empty house. The moment I walked in, someone turned on the light and a number of people jumped out from behind furniture and the doorway. I startled, my eyes widening._

_"Surprise!" they all shouted, and then my beautiful wife, a bit older now than she'd been in my last daydream, walked toward me with nothing but adoration on her face._

_"Happy birthday, baby," she greeted and immediately I lunged toward her, wrapping her up in my arms and kissing her as soundly as was appropriate considering the audience we had. I placed my hand on her just slightly bulging tummy and silently greeted the unborn child housed within her delicious body. She placed her hand over mine, smiling at me as she wrapped her other arm around my waist. Others wished me a happy birthday as well, and I gave them half-hearted thank-yous as I focused on my wife._

_I wondered how old I was in this daydream, until I felt my sister's form wrap around me as best she could considering the fact that I refused to be torn from my position with Bella. Jasper stood behind her, chuckling as my twin wished me a happy 30th, and I returned it. Apparently, she had orchestrated the little party as I had done the same for her three years ago. It's not often one is capable of surprising Alice Whitlock. It was then that I noticed the small blue bundle in Jasper's arms and grinned. They'd just had a son, Calvin Jonathan Whitlock. They were the prefect little family._

_Alice detached from me, and suddenly a much smaller body latched onto my leg, nuzzling its head into my thigh. I looked down and saw the bronze curls of a little girl, and my thoughts were scattered immediately._

_"Daddy!" she squealed, facing her head up to me, deep brown eyes looking in the direction of my face, and it was then that I saw a look I was familiar with. Seeing...without really seeing._

_I bent and lifted my little girl into my arms, and her hands were on my face as she pulled my forehead to her lips._

_"MWAH! Happy birthday!" she squealed. And I chuckled. Her happiness, her spirit, her liveliness. It didn't matter if she couldn't see, she was still a perfect, beautiful little child, and clearly an amazing combination of both Bella and I. I wondered briefly why my little girl was blind, because Bella had made it clear that her blindness was in no way caused by genetics, but I let it go and kissed...Carly - that would be her name: Carly Emmalee Cullen - on the cheek in return._

_"Thank you, my little love. Are you going to help me open my gifts?"_

_She startled wiggling in my arms excitedly. "Can I? Can I? Please? Can I, Daddy?"_

_I chuckled. "Anything you want, Carly."_

_She squealed again, so much like Alice always did. I had no doubt she picked it up from her aunt._

_I set her down and she made a mad run for the table with all the gifts on it, jumping up and down excitedly. Of course, she didn't notice Emmett come up behind her and she jumped on his foot before losing her balance and falling slightly to the side before her uncle righted her. I'd nearly had a heart attack, but was calmed the moment she didn't hit the floor._

_Bella rubbed my shoulder. "Is she alright?"_

_I turned, wondering how she knew._

_"You always get really strangely tense when she gets clumsy," she explained._

_"Oh...She's fine. Emmett saved her."_

_She smiled. "Monkey Man to the rescue."_

_I chuckled and pulled Bella closer to me, kissing her thoroughly once again before leading her over to our daughter._

_We had our own perfect little family. Blindness included._

"Edward?" My mother's voice broke me from my little dreams, and my head felt like it was spinning. Was that I wanted? Yes, of course. Eventually. Not yet, really, but someday. It'd be...beautiful if and when we'd have it. Not tomorrow, but someday.

"Yeah?" I tried to keep myself in the present and replied to my mom.

I felt her hand on my shoulder and looked up at her, meeting her concerned eyes.

"Bella had a bit of a headache, so I told her to lay down and get some rest. She's up in your room right now, and fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow." I smiled at her and nodded before looking over my mother's shoulder at Alice, who was smiling knowingly at me. I raised an eyebrow, and she shrugged as if saying that she had absolutely nothing to say to me. Jasper wrapped an arm around her, and I realized that I hadn't even noticed him still here.

"We're going to eat a quick dinner together, but I'll save you some," Mom told me. I looked back over to her, grateful as I pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"Thank you. I believe I'll be going to join Bella for a bit of a nap..." I had no doubt that I would be sleeping through the whole night the moment I lay beside her, so I gave them all "goodnight"s or "goodbye"s and took the long journey up to my room.

I opened the door to my room and saw my Bella sleeping soundly in my bed wearing my t-shirt which she had packed as pajamas. I pulled off my jeans and shirt quickly, tossing them aside and all but running to get to my bed. Wrapping my body around hers, her back to my chest, I buried my face in her strawberry-scented hair and sighed heavily. I don't know why, but my hand found its way to her abdomen and rested there. My thumb stroked just below her navel, and I kissed the back of her neck. Almost as though she understood in her unconscious state, her left hand found its place over mine, pressing it more firmly to her stomach.

"_Someday_," I promised in a soft whisper, closing my eyes and drifting off to dreams of a beautiful brunette in a white gown and a divine little bronze-haired belle.


	31. Cherry Chapstick

_IT'S SNOWING! BIG, WHITE, BEAUTIFUL FLAKES ARE FALLING ALL AROUND! I LOVE SNOW! But I hate the cold so...le sigh._

_Okay, so I'm sorry that I wasn't able to get something up Wednesday or Friday, but life gets in the way sometimes. So, instead writing out my 4 possible essays for my essay test in English on Monday, I spent the day putting together a long ass chapter for you. Did I mention that I have long practices/games for cheerleading, with Pep Rally just yesterday, lots and lots of homework so that teachers can get it all done before holiday break, a sister with pneumonia who we're trying really hard to keep out of the hospital this weekend, and about 9 bruises if you count the four on one knee, two on the other, and three on my back? My week might have been a little bit twisted up, you know?_

_THERE ARE PICTURES OF THE MANSION AND OF BELLA'S OUTFIT IN THIS CHAPTER ON MY WEBSITE!!!! WWW(.)FREEWEBS(.)COM/MYFANFICTIONPICS_

_Dedication: **njdevil30718**...go jersey :)_

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters...just 9 icky bruises and the pen they gave me when I got my PPD this morning..._

_Anyway, I thought, what better way to start this chapter than with what all of you were reviewing about. What was Bella dreaming about when Edward placed his hand on her stomach and she placed hers atop his? Well, here's your answer._

**Bella's POV**

_There were voices all around me, happy voices speaking words of love and congratulations and pure, unadulterated joy. They surrounded me, engulfing me in a bubble of warmth as I lay resting on a bed. Edward's strong hand was wrapped around my small one, my fingers linked with his long ones._

_And then I heard it. My heart began beating rapidly in my chest as the whimper broke through all of the voices. The tiny little whimper of a newborn baby, I knew it immediately. Of my baby, instinct told me._

_My body felt heavy, and I could smell the air was that sterile sort of air. We were in a hospital, that much was clear. There were other sounds, the light babbling of a TV, Rosalie cooing at my child. A little girl was giggling in the background and there was the sound of another child, a little boy, muttering meaningless words right by the girl._

_Edward's hand left mine for just a moment and then all of a sudden his warm breath was billowing over my face._

_"It seems our son would like his mommy, my love," he whispered, and while I myself was stunned, the dream me acted immediately as another mother would, taking the small baby into my arms and cradling him. I made sure to support his little head as I held him securely but gently._

_His face nuzzled my breast, trying to burrow into it as he whimpered again, and I heard Edward tell the others that I needed to feed the baby - Brian - and that they would need to leave, just as an older woman's voice - a nurse's? a doctor's? - told them all that visiting hours were over._

_I felt a hand on my forearm and then heard a soft kiss near the baby's head._

_"Bye Brian," a little girl said. Then a kiss was planted on my forehead. "Bye Mommy."_

_I smiled softly at the girl - my daughter. "Good night, Carly, sleep well. I love you."_

_"Love you too."_

_After loud goodbyes, which finally stopped as my little boy began wailing into my breast, the family left the room. Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Rose, Alice, Jasper, and Charlie had all been here, but, I noticed sadly, that my mother had not. Carly, apparently, had left to go home and stay the night with Esme and Carlisle. I knew that they would take good care of their granddaughter._

_Edward helped me to lower the top of my hospital gown and to get Brian to latch on. I was tired and unfocused, so I simply wasn't able to do so myself._

_As Brian suckled his first of many meals that night, Edward continually ran his fingers through my hair in a soothing manner, whispering words of love to the both of us. And when Brian was sleeping in his little plastic crib, Edward would lay his head in my lap, placing sweet kisses on my stomach as I ran my fingers through his messy locks. I tried my best to sleep, but my happiness and excitement kept me awake, until finally Brian's soft breaths and Edward's quiet humming lulled me into an exhausted slumber._

~*~

Edward and I had spent hours yesterday going his home. I was trying my hardest to at least memorize some of the mansion, but I think I was just far too overwhelmed to really get any of it right, not to mention the fact that it was a big ass mansion. So, instead, we spent most of the rest of the day memorizing his bedroom, which was definitely educational and maybe just a little fun. Hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge. Carlisle had been called into the hospital because of a huge, out of control building fire that had injured so many. Alice and Jasper were at the Whitlock house spending the day with his parents. And Esme had a lot of planning to do for a big New Year's Eve party that they hosted every year.

Supposedly, I was required to attend, but that was beside the point. My point was that...

Edward and I were alone all day.

Esme had been home for a late supper, and the meal and conversations were immensely enjoyable. Edward and I went to bed on the early side, both of us worn out **snicker**. We dressed in our usual PJs, mine basically being one of Edward's t-shirts, his last name printed on the back, and a pair of his flannel pants, which I rolled at the waist. We cuddled up together, our legs tangled, my face in his chest, his in my hair. It was a peaceful night's sleep.

And now I awoke, still enveloped in Edward and his warmth and his delicious scent, desperately needing to go to the bathroom but too comfortable to get up. It wasn't long before my physical needs overpowered my desire to remain wrapped up in my love's arms, and so I got up carefully, not wanting to disturb Edward, and then slowly, carefully, walked along the wall to where I knew his en-suite was. While there, I ran a brush through my crazy hair then threw it up into a pony tail so that it'd be easier to deal with later and then brushed my teeth so I'd have some minty fresh breath.

I returned to his bed as quickly as I could after that, only to find empty, cooling sheets and no Edward. Plopping down onto my ass there, I tried my best to listen for him. I was startled when his warm arms grabbed me up and tossed me over his shoulder, laughing loudly as I squeaked in surprise.

I could hear his footfalls, heavier than usual due to my added weight, as I begged him to put me down but he wouldn't listen. I banged my fists on his lower back before grinning deviously and landed a loud, hard smack to his perfect ass. I began laughing loudly at his yelp, not even paying attention to the way I nearly fell when he jumped.

"What the hell, Bella!" he exclaimed, coming to a halt who only know where.

"Put me down. Next time, I bite," I teased.

Edward let out sexy growl, teasing me in return as he tapped my ass, still not setting me down. I was about to lean down and bite his ass, just because I could, when I smelt it.

"Christmas tree!" I squealed loudly, once again squirming to get out of his arms.

Edward laughed loudly and gave my butt a much harder love tap. "I wondered how long it'd take you to notice."

"Put me down, Assward!" I cried out and began pounding on his back again.

"Assward?" he questioned as he finally set me down, instead engulfing me in a tight embrace with my back to his chest. I assumed we were facing the tree.

I just smirked, not saying anything in response to that and instead going in on my own line of questioning. "What's it look like?"

He chuckled. "Like a Christmas tree. Pretty white lights shining on silver, gold, red, and green ornaments. Garland wrapped around and tinsel tossed haphazardly. A great big silver and gold star on top. The star has been in our family for generations, from my mom's side. I think it was my great-great-great grandfather who brought it over here from Ireland."

He nuzzled my neck as he spoke, running his nose up and down the column as I tilted my head to allow him better access. "Is it big?" I was rather distracted.

"That's what she said," he mumbled, chuckled as I threw wayward elbow back into his stomach, now focused since his toying with my neck had stopped. Finally, he answered seriously, "Too big. I honestly couldn't tell you. But really big will have to suffice."

I turned around in his arms, then, so I could face him and pulled his head down to mine, kissing him for the first time this morning. He groaned and deepened the kiss almost immediately, only for me to break away cackling as I tasted my cherry chapstick on his dry, chapped lips. How had I not smelled _that_ before?

"You stinker. You stole my chapstick," I mocked him.

I felt his cheeks heat under my hands and grinned even wider than before as I realized that I was making _the Edward Cullen_ blush.

"Aren't you just so cute," I cooed and pecked his nose.

He growled. "I'll show you cute!"

He began to pick me up again when we both stopped.

"Breakfast!" we both shouted at the same time, not even considering that someone else in the house could be sleeping at this hour.

Like we had that first morning at Dad's house, Edward knelt before me and prompted me to hop on his back, and then he ran through the house toward the source of the delicious smelling breakfast.

"Good morning," Esme's cheery voice greeted as Carlisle tiredly spoke the same words on a yawn.

"Morning Mom, you look lovely today. Now Dad, you, on the other hand, do not look so hot," Edward teased his father.

I was suddenly all too aware of the fact that I wasn't wearing my glasses and so I buried my face into Edward's neck. He clutched me more tightly and was probably concerned and confused about why I had so suddenly tensed.

"Good morning, Esme, Carlisle," I whispered into his neck, but already I was a million miles away.

_They're good people, you really like them. What's the problem?_

_But my eyes..._

_Are beautiful, just like Edward always says. You know they'll say nothing. You've done it around strangers lately, too..._

_I know. But it's different..._

_How?_

_These people matter._

_They won't be mean. I promise._

_No, you're right. They won't. They're good people, and I they like me...I think. And they wouldn't hurt Edward like that by being unkind to me._

I hesitantly lifted my head from Edward's shoulder and heard him mutter lowly, just quiet enough that I'd be the only one to hear, "Are you alright?"

"Fine," I whispered in his ear. "Just...my glasses."

He instantly understood, as he always did. "We'll go get them. Hold tight."

He started to walk us both away but I stopped. "No, let's just eat. Your parents won't mind. At least... I don't think they will."

My hand was immediately lifted from its resting place about his chest and was instead pressed to his crooked smile. Pressing a soft kiss to my palm, he simply stated, "I love you."

"Love you too. So much."

~*~

Breakfast had been a nice, comfortable affair. I had no doubt that Esme and Carlisle had noticed the fact that I did not wear my glasses. They'd have to be as blind as I to not have. Sometimes there were awkward silences and I would become tense and self-conscious, and immediately Edward would begin to soothe me the best he could physically while moving conversation on to another subject. I will admit, though, that Esme makes the best breakfast I'd ever eaten. Just putting that out there.

A while later, I had sat speaking with Esme when Alice pranced in.

"Ready to go shopping?" the sprite asked, not even bothering with a hello. I hadn't know we were going shopping, so I raised an eyebrow skeptically, remaining absolutely silent. "Come on, Bella, you need a dress...and something to wear to Tyler's on Christmas Eve."

I continued to sit in confusion. Alice sighed dramatically.

"You don't have a ball gown for Mom's party and Tyler, who was on Jasper and Edward's team, is having a little get together for Christmas while everyone's on break. Edward doesn't want to go but he kind of has to, although he's still determined to get out of it. But we're going. He's still king of the world and..."

I tuned Alice out as I frowned. A ball gown? For the party.

"Shoot. I need to make a phone call. You should have let me know earlier Alice!" I finally interrupted. I called to Edward who appeared, almost frantic and out of breath, very quickly, asking me what was wrong. Apparently, I was freaking out. "Take me up to your room, please. I need my phone _now_." Okay, that sounded rude, but Alice was putting me on some insane deadline.

And once he'd stopped having a heart attack, he brought me upstairs to retrieve my phone and to get myself dressed - and properly washed and so on - to go out for the day. Then he brought me back downstairs where I paced in designer clothes as I went through a whole damn phone tree to get in touch with the one person I knew could get me a dress worthy of a party thrown by the Cullens, of the woman who would stand next to Edward.

"Bonjour," his voice finally greeted me, nearly two hours later.

"Laurent, mon ami!" I exclaimed enthusiastically. It'd been far too long since we'd spoken, and the older man had always been so good to me when we'd see each other. He always seemed to treat me like the daughter he could never have, and doted on me when we were around. It was rare, as were our few conversations, but he was the only one in my mother's world who made me feel...like I could be as much a part of that world as all the rest of them.

"Isabella, ma cherie! You call me, finally. I begin to worry, ma fifille."

"You shouldn't worry about me. Never worry, please. I am so sorry about not calling you, but I have been busy. You know, college and such. I was hoping to come see you though, soon."

His heavily accented voice held such unadulterated joy that I felt guilty I never came to visit him before. "Of course, my little Bell. When? I will make all of the preparations for you."

"Are you busy today?"

"Today! More warning would be nice, but I wish to see you, always. Come, come! Now, if you might?"

I giggled. "Of course. We will be by soon."

"May I ask for what you are in Chicago?" he queried.

"Soon enough, you shall know."

After a few parting words, I closed my phone and breathed a sigh of relief. If anyone would be able to make the perfect dress in time, it would be Laurent.

"Now, with that done, we should be going."

**Alice's POV**

I stared at Bella in shock. She was absolutely beautiful, in a way that I had never seen her looking before. Her hair had this messy, wavy, wild, sexy look that seemed totally intentional but was definitely accidental on her part. Her eyes were covered by her glasses, but that was never unusual, and she had a light coat of chapstick on her lips. She wore a gold chain necklace that had a golden ring attached, and on that ring was a solitary heart-shaped black...diamond? Ohmigod! And her earrings matched it! Holy shit!

I continued looking at her, taking in the stylish, black, long-sleeve shirt with a low drop, draped neck. She wore a dark pair of skinny jeans with a gold-studded black belt, and a pair of black ankle boots with a killer stiletto heel and all sorts of gold adornments. OMG! Those shoes were from the new Dolce Vita collection! I couldn't believe that, even without being able to see herself, Bella had somehow put together such a perfect outfit. Holy crap. Look out people, here comes the blind girl, and she is da bomb!

She'd just gotten off the phone with some guy who we would apparently be seeing about her dress, and now she was calling for Edward again, who was simply sitting on the couch, salivating as he looked at her.

"Edward, I need my white cane. I'm sorry, but would you mind going back with me up to your room again?"

Edward shook his head, as though he was trying to clear it, and then stood and took her hand, leading her away.

"They're absolutely perfect for each other," my mother commented to me.

I smiled and nodded. "They really are. You haven't even seen the half of it. And oh. my. god. They are sickeningly cute sometimes. It can be disgusting, but then I remember when Jazzy and I were like that and I can't help but just be all 'awwwww' inside, you know?"

Mom laughed at me, but I really wasn't kidding.

**Edward's POV**

I spent the rest of the day with a hard-on, thinking about my sexy Bella.

**Bella's POV**

I drove with Esme, while Alice returned to the Whitlock house in order to pick up Jasper's mom. I'd given both Cullen women the address, and it wasn't long before Esme led me from the whipping Chicago wind into the warm room that smelled so much like Laurent. I hadn't even finished walking through the door before Alice was squealing in excitement, apparently having only been ten seconds behind us.

"You know Laurent Facet! _The_ Laurent Facet! God, Bella! You've been holding out on me!"

I chuckled at her excitement and stepped carefully as she sped ahead of me. I had to look good, or my mom would be unhappy that I had embarrassed her in front of someone in her world, but wearing stilettos was never a favorite past-time of mine, nor was I particularly well-practiced in them. I did, however, choose to ignore the usual lipgloss and opted to use some cherry chapstick. Edward seemed to approve, despite the embarrassed heat in his cheeks, as I kissed him goodbye.

Finally making my way fully into what I had no doubt looked like a highly expensive lounge with a runway area for display, I breathed more of Laurent's cologne, a subtle but very distinct scent that always made me feel at home inside. The was always just so cheerful and welcoming toward me.

"Isabella Marie Swan! You, ma bichette, are absolutely stunning. When did you get so incredibly beautiful? And who did your hair? Oh, and look at that sourire, making your face so radiant." He was walking toward me and I laughed, stepping forward into what were definitely open arms. Immediately, he engulfed me into his bear hug, something I knew he reserved for me.

I placed lips on his cheek and gave him a kiss with a loud, "MWAH!"

He laughed and I smiled up at him, pulling my glasses low down on my nose to show him my eyes, because it felt right, and he squeezed me more tightly, speaking with a soft, adoring voice. "Ah, ma belle, those eyes are so warm and lovely, a delicious chocolate color. I could just eat them."

"But you will not. They are mine," I replied, imitating his accent. He laughed at me again, and then released me.

"Ma bichette, you bring me so many new friends, and yet you do not introduce me to them."

I straightened, realizing my manners, and immediately began introductions. "Esme, Mrs. Whitlock, this is Laurent Facet. Laurent, Esme Cullen and Annie Whitlock."

"Beeeeeeellllllllaaaaaaaa!" Alice whined like a child.

I smirked. "Oh, and this little fashion-obsessed, over-excited, crazy little pixie is Alice Cullen."

"A pleasure to meet all of you beautiful women. You are friends of ma petit belle, no?"

"Will you stop with the nicknames?" I asked him, not at all serious because truly I loved them and had memorized every one of their meanings.

"Never, ma bichette."

"Did he just call you a bitch?" Alice asked in confusion.

Laurent and I both laughed. "No, Ali, 'ma bichette' means 'my little doe.'"

"Oh."

"So, how are you, mon trognon? You appear very happy."

"I am, very much," I answered as he took my hand in his and led me to a couch. I folded my white cane and put it into my purse as Laurent took a seat next to me. "And you?"

"I am as gay as ever," he teased, and I grinned at him. He meant gay in both ways it was used, and I couldn't help but love him for being so cute about it.

"Oh, mon loup, have you found the perfect man yet? I know you were devastated after Victor left."

"No, not yet, but I found a very beautiful man named Aro and we will be going to a party on New Year's Eve together. In fact, I believe it is your Esme Cullen's own party we will be attending. Oh, do you need a dress, mon lapin? I have the most splendid idea for you. Please let me make you a dress for the party."

I smiled at him. "That's why I thought to come see you. I would_ love_ to wear one of your dresses."

"I already have one started. I was thinking of you as I made it. Come, it will be so soft. And blue. You will look lovely in blue. Let me show you to it."

I paused for a moment, thinking about the other women in the room. "Alice, Esme, Mis-"

"Annie, dear," Mrs. Whit- I mean Annie, cut me off.

"Of course, Annie. Would you three like to come? This is your party after all, Esme. And I - wait, isn't it a black and white ball?"

Laurent stopped sadly. "Oh, poo. And the blue would be so-"

"Nonsense, Bella. You will wear the blue," Esme immediately protested.

"But-"

"No, we never finished explaining to you one little detail. As we said, since Carlisle's great-grandparents first began the tradition of the ball, Cullen women, or the women of the house, have always dressed in color so that they could stand out as such from the crowd." She cleared her throat, and her small, warm, motherly hands wrapped around my free one. "It you be an honor if you would join Alice and I in that tradition, as a woman of the house, and wear color instead of black and white."

The tears began slipping down my cheeks at a rapid rate as I threw myself at Esme, completely speechless. In that moment, I felt as though I was being asked to truly be a Cullen. And then I realized something.

That all of them, Edward, Alice, and now even Esme, all considered me already one of them. That I was already a Cullen, and that now they were choosing to show the rest of the world that I was a part of their family.

~*~

After a full day of shopping and getting to know Esme and Annie better, we ate dinner out, and all of the men joined us for the meal. Edward couldn't seem to keep his hands off of me through the entire meal, and it would have been incredibly amusing if I weren't permanently red from the embarrassment of him being so public before his family about his affections. Alice couldn't stop giggling the entire meal, and she continually whispered our names to Jasper along with other statements which I didn't quite hear.

After dinner, I walked with Edward to his other car, an Aston Martin Vanquish that he admitted he kept at his parents' home for the safety of the vehicle. The parking lot had been full, so he'd parked a bit further away, and so we were maybe a block away when we arrived at the car.

And I heard it then. It was rather quiet and strained and strange, but I could just barely make it out over the sound of Chicago around us.

"Wait."

"What?" he asked.

"Don't you hear it?"

He groaned. "Bella, please, let's go home. I'd like to ravish you, and it's getting harder to resist just throwing you against the wall of a building and risking indecent exposure charges."

I snorted at that and carefully walked in the direction of the sound, pretty sure I already knew what it was. I walked as carefully as I could, but I was in stilettos and didn't have my white cane out because I'd been walking with Edward, so, me being me, I stumbled. Edward caught me before I could hit the sidewalk, but it was a pretty damn close call.

"You really don't hear it?"

He paused for a moment, trying to distinguish the sound I was listening for before finally he must have located it. "What is that?" He started pulling me closer, as though he'd have to protect me from it.

I couldn't help but laugh at his protectiveness. "It's a kitten."

"A kitten?" he asked incredulously.

I nodded. "Yep. Young, and she's crying. She's probably been crying for a long time, too, because her voice is hoarse."

"She?"

"Yes, she?"

"How do you know it's a she."

"Because she's not an _it_."

"Oh, lord, you're already attached to it."

"_She_."

He let go of me and I heard, "Here, kitty kitty kitty kitty. Here, kitty."

"She's not a dog, Edward."

"I know, it's clearly a kitten, love."

"_She,_ Edward."

"And if _she_ is actually a _he_? I don't think he really appreciates being called a she."

I growled at him.

"Oo, sexy kitten's gotten out her claws and is ready to play."

I couldn't help but laugh at that statement.

"Can we please take her home, Edward?" I finally asked after a moment.

"If it pleases you, my love."

"It does."

"Then I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine. And he shall be my Squishy...Ouch! Bad Squishy! Bad!"

I laughed. "Dork. See? She doesn't like being called a he. She's a she!"

About thirty seconds later, he stood next to me and I could hear the soft cry of the little kitten in his arms as he led me back to the car. He opened my door and helped me in, and then a too tiny bundle of crying fur was sat in my hands. She easily fit in one of my palms, and I felt so bad for the abandoned kitten, but glad that we had found her and could give her a home.

She was going to be a part of our family, just the way I had been so easily accepted into Edward's.

I felt Edward's warm hand reach over and stroke our kitten once, before finally he just happily settled his large paw on my thigh.

I thought back to my dream the night before last and wondered if there was more to our dream-family than existed in that hospital room. Like a cat who was curled up in our bed, awaiting our return with our precious baby boy and beloved little girl.

.

.

.

.

_The french translations..._

_Bonjour - Hello_

_Mon ami - my friend_

_Mon cherie - my darling_

_Ma fifille - my little girl_

_Ma bichette - my little doe_

_Sourire - smile_

_Ma belle - my beautiful_

_Ma petit belle - my little beautiful_

_Mon trognon - my (fruit) core_

_Mon loup - my wolf_

_Mon lapin - my rabbit_

_Most of these are endearments I got off a website. I think the fruit core one sounds funny and, really, who can resist the wolf thing, even if Laurent is a vampy? Oh, and if you look up Facet, it's a French last name that comes from being gay and so on. I felt it fit._

_Review and you get to sit and watch Finding Nemo with Edward!!! Who can resist that offer???_


	32. Amabel Maybe Swan Maybe Cullen

_Feliz Navidad. Feliz navidad. Feliz navidad, prospero año y felicidad! Merry Christmas everybody, and happy December 25th to all of you who don't celebrate! I hope Santa left you all presents and not coal. Maybe some of you found some Edward in your stockings ;)_

_My Christmas was cool, for those of you who were wondering. My sister gave me bubble wrap for Christmas? Best gift ever? I think so. :)_

_Life be good. I had a fun holiday party with my cheerleaders. We watched Veggietales haha._

_I cheered at my first two basketball games this week. I got moved to main base because one of the girls in my stunt group hurt her shoulder. Ten minutes before the game our coach is just like, "Yeah, jordi, main base." And I was like, "okay, um, yea, sorry if I drop you." My flier's face was pretty fucking priceless haha._

_So, life is good._

_Dedication: **Chofita**. Thanks for the reviews chica!!!! You get Edward with a sparkly bow and handcuffs. Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or their characters. I do, however, have a thing of bubble wrap, still only half popped. Love you little sis!_

_And I love you all too. Happy holidays!!!!_

**Edward's POV**

Two warm bodies were laying atop mine at the moment, one purring as the other giggled.

Our little kitten had come home yesterday from the vet, having been sick enough to need to stay for a short while.

And yes, she. Bella won that little battle, and threw it in my face the next two days.

My girl had fallen in love with the kitten from the moment she held the animal in the car on the way home that night. First thing in the next morning, I was woken by my mother and Bella cooing at the little kitten as they sat on the floor in the room. The kitten kept sneezing, over and over, making the cutest face each time.

Okay, I'll admit that I'm a bit smitten.

Anyway, Mom, Bella, and I immediately took the precious ball of fur to the vet the next day, Bella, all the while, contemplating names. She asked me what the kitten looked like - tiny and fuzzy with fur a color strikingly similar to that of my hair and big, innocent green eyes - then asked me what I'd like to name her - I told her I had no suggestions, just smiling at the flustered look on her face - and suggested we look online if she really couldn't find anything.

_"No no no. My kitten will have a name that is meaningful or unique or...something," Bella huffed, and I chuckled loudly well my mother continued tossing out strange names I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy let alone the kitten who'd taken up residence in our hearts. I wrapped an arm around Bella's shoulders as she continued to pet the kitten, whose purr was unfortunately pathetic. Clearly, the little thing was sick. Just to prove me right, Fur Ball sneezed again._

_I pressed a kiss to Bella's cheek._

_"What about...Almanthea? It's Greek, and it means tender..." my mom suggested._

_Bella seemed to zone out and my mom just grinned as we watched my girl pet the kitten resting in her tiny palm. "Aimable," she whispered under her breath, her voice accented beautifully. French? Since when did my girl speak another language._

_"What's that mean, Bella?" my mom asked. Bella seemed startled as she realized we'd heard her, and then took a moment to think back over what she'd said before responding._

_"Lovable."_

_"I like that," I answered. I did. It was very pretty._

_"Amabel." Fur Ball let out a small meow._

_"She seems to like it," I chuckled._

_"Amabel Swan Cullen," she giggled in return._

_"Oh, she has my name as well, does she?" I asked in a teasing voice._

_Bella turned toward me, seeming nervous as she realized what she'd said. "Is that okay? I mean..."_

_I hushed my girl. "I like it, my love. Amabel Swan Cullen." I grinned deviously. "Bella and Bel. You're both mine."_

So that's how Fur Ball got her true name. We visited her everyday, too. Bella would sit with Amabel in her arms and coo sweet little words into the kitten's little ears. I very often would catch Bella speaking little French nicknames, until finally my girl settled on _mon petit minou_ and _mon petit chat__on_. Bella caught on quickly that I was just a bit jealous that she would give her - our, she had reminded me - kitten sweet, loving nicknames, yet gave me no sweet French endearments.

Hell, I hadn't even _known_ she spoke any French.

_"You know I love you, ma moitié," she told me, and her beautiful accent flowed over my ears like music._

_"I love you, too, beautiful girl."_

I'd later find out that she would refuse to tell me the meaning of the words. And it would drive me to the drive of insanity. But for that time I'd been content, like now.

So, that led us to where we are now, me on my back, Bella laying on top of me, giggling, and our undersized little Bel on my chest, more toward my right shoulder, purring her strange little kitten purr as I scratched behind her ear.

Bel was tiny. The vet said she must have been abandoned not long after being born. She was probably only just beginning to get around when it happened, because she was so entirely tiny even though she was at 10 weeks, Bel easily fit into one of Bella's small hands. The vet said she'd likely gotten next to no nutrition since then, and was incredibly surprised that she had survived for so long. After over a week with the vet, she was finally able to come home, and Bella was very happy that her precious _minou _was finally home and healthy.

It was Christmas Eve, unfortunately, and Bella and I both knew our time with Bel was limited for the day, so we'd been laying around and playing with her all afternoon.

I still couldn't believe Alice had convinced me to go to Tyler's party tonight. I wanted my Christmas Eve to be something so different, but the pushy little sprite wouldn't listen to what I'd planned. Well, fine then. She owes me big time.

I wasn't sure how Bella would react to all the people from my past. A lot of these guys used to be my friends...before Hurricane Tanya destroyed it all. Some of them still are, but I really hadn't spoken to them since meeting Bella. I feel like a very different person since I met her, and those guys just really didn't fit with the reformed me.

Not to mention that it would certainly come as a shock to all of the kids in my school that I would date someone like Bella. I winced as I thought that. It didn't sound right, but it was true. None of them would look past the blindness to see the glorious woman I'd fallen in love with. They'd just see what every other passerby would. She was a blind girl. That would be all they'd see, because these people were shallow and immature.

I prayed Tanya wouldn't be there. When I'd broached the subject with Alice, she'd immediately changed the path of the conversation, which immediately made me believe Tanya would, at the least, make an appearance. I just had to be sure to shield Bella from the madness which would ensue as a result.

_"Eddieeeeee!" I heard the nasally voice call from my doorway. I wondered how it had sounded so beautiful up on stage all those months ago, when I first met her. If I didn't already know for sure, I never would have guessed that she had been the one to possess that beautiful soprano voice. But when she spoke... Nails on a chalkboard._

_Turning to look at her, I saw the outwardly beautiful woman I'd been dating for so long. But something had changed about a month or so ago. I was beginning to think I wasn't right about her, about who she was, but there'd never been any indication that she was anyone but the Tanya I knew._

_And she was definitely a beautiful girl. She looked like she stepped out of a magazine, perfect strawberry blonde hair, steel blue eyes, the girl-next-door smile, a body that all the girls at school would die for, are dying for. But she wasn't right for me, I knew. It'd just taken a little longer for me to figure out than the rest._

_She loved to party, to drink and do who knows what else, and she loved to be shown off like she was worth millions, which if you checked her daddy's bank account, she was. But that wasn't me. I liked to woo a girl privately, and sit at home quietly. I didn't like that whole party scene, and I'd never enjoyed alcohol. We just weren't the same in those respects, and I didn't know how much longer I could do all of those things just to make her happy._

_She was a great girl, though. Someone out there would be lucky to have her._

_She was wearing that smile, and it was bigger than it'd ever been before as she stood there in my doorway. Sitting up on the edge of my bed, I invited her into the room. I watched as she pranced happily, and looking into her eyes, something was different, like the Tanya I'd known wasn't there anymore. Her eyes were kind of glassy, and they were happy - a happy that gives others the chills because it's a frightening happy - and glowing. It was almost like something altogether alien had overtaken her in that moment as I looked at her._

_"Eddie, honey, guess what," she spoke, clasping her hands together and smiling even more widely, if that were even possible._

_I ignored that she called me Eddie. She'd started calling me by my hated nickname about a month ago, and no matter how hard I tried to get her to stop, she just wouldn't quit. It wasn't worth the energy anymore._

_I waited for her to tell me what she came here to say, but when she didn't, I sighed in exasperation. "What, Tanya?"_

_"We're pregnant, baby! We're gonna have a baby!" And that's about all I heard before I stopped listening to Tanya babble about 'our child'._

_Instead, I stood and began pacing, muttering to myself, Tanya all the while oblivious._

_"Not possible. I'm a virgin. We've never had sex. How could she possibly be...No, no. False positive. Has to be. Can't be pregnant. Is she delusional? How can she think...I mean, we've never...she can't...no, I know we've never...and that she wouldn't..."_

_I stopped pacing, then. The changes in the past month. So much more partying, ending so much more often with her totally shit-faced. Disappearing the entire party, or almost... Drugs? Had she been doing drugs? Hard liquor? Had she been...cheating on me?_

_I looked up at her, still in her own world as she was rambling on and on. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I stalked toward her, gripping her by the shoulders. "Tanya..." She didn't respond. "Tanya." Nothing. "Tanya." Wouldn't even look at me. I began shaking her. "Tanya!"_

_"What?!" she spat._

_"What? What? You tell me you're pregnant-"_

_"_We_, silly. _We're_ pregnant."_

_"No, Tanya. We're not. We've never had sex. It's not possible."_

_"Of course we did, Eddie. Right here, in your bed. The night you won States!"_

_I shook my head. That was three weeks ago. Tanya had been in Canada with her parents for the weekend when we'd won States. She came back two days later, as scheduled, and had upped her attempts to get me to sleep with her starting that night._

_"Tanya, we never did. You can't be pregnant. You weren't even in Chicago the night we won States."_

It was still impossible for me to recall with perfect clarity the events which followed. There'd been yelling and screaming. Tanya had thrown things. She'd finally been successful, hitting me in the head with the picture frame that held a picture of Alice and I together at the shore from two years prior. I do recall, however, the reason behind her throwing that frame.

_"You're cheating on me with her! With Alice," she spat, saying Alice's name like it was a curse._

_"I'm sleeping with my sister?! Tanya?! Are you kidding me? Do you hear yourself?!"_

_I felt the frame hit my head then, and I stumbled backward. My heel caught the leg of my bed, and I fell. I tried to catch myself, but failed, instead formally introducing the side of my head to the corner of my nightstand. My body fell to the floor, and my face made the acquaintance of the hard wood._

_Everything went black after that._

It came out, once I'd left the hospital, that Tanya had been making her way through the entire baseball team because I wasn't putting out. I'd told everyone that was fine, because I was done with her anyway. I hadn't been able to trust any girl since Tanya, until I ran into Bella that fateful day. She wasn't fooling anyone, well actually she was but she had different reason. Tanya wanted the prize, Bella wanted a semblance of normalcy, and I could understand that. We all could.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

I felt Bel's sharp little nails digging into my chest, and as I winced, I realized I'd stopped petting little Bel sometime during my flashback.

"Where were you, _ma moitié_?" Bella's soft voice brought me fully back to the present. She trailed her hand down my arm until she found my own hand and threaded our fingers together.

"I was here," I replied. "Just...remembering."

She remained silent, her brown eyes questioning me, but I offered no elaboration on what exactly I was remembering, and she set aside her curiosity, not prying. I pulled our hands up to my lips and kissed hers before releasing her hand from mine and moving my own to the small of her back. I rubbed up and down her spine, applying just a bit of pressure as she placed her hand on my cheek, rubbing her thumb back and forth just below my left eye.

I heard a tiny little yawn and then an irritated half-meow as nails once again dug through my shirt and into the skin of my shoulder.

"Ouch," I hissed. "Okay, okay, sorry, princess. Sheesh, so demanding." I began to scratch behind Amabel's ear again, relieved when she retracted her nails and returned to purring.

~*~

"You, my love, will be the death of me."

God, she was gorgeous.

Her outfit was simple: a short, blue, satin dress, flowing as her hips swayed back and forth, paired with a pair of black, strappy heels. Her hair was straightened into shiny, silky smoothness and a new pair of glasses were in her hands. They were a pair of shield sunglasses, just enough color in them to hide her eyes comfortably while still being high stylish and light enough for it to be normal to wear them inside at night. She and Alice were carefully maneuvering themselves down the steps toward Jasper and me.

Bella paused as she smirked at me, and I sprinted up the steps to her, knowing my little sister wasn't going to be much of a help to Bella as she tried to come down the stairs.

She gripped my grey button down dress shirt when she slipped, and I wrapped her in my arms securely.

"Thanks," she breathed in relief.

I pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I'll always be there to catch you. I promise."

~*~

"Slow down, you little elf," I teased my sister. She was wearing a light green satin dress, which was strapless and had a bow around the waist. All she needed was the hat and she would easily be mistaken for one of Santa's little minions. She was the right height, after all.

She stuck her tongue out at me, but made no move to slow as she finished her sprint to Dad's Mercedes. Ah, the maturity of my twin.

Jasper opened the back seat door for Alice while I opened the passenger door for Bella. I couldn't take her in the Vanquish because we decided all four of us would go together, so Dad had offered up the Mercedes.

The drive seemed to drag on forever, and I occasionally glanced at Bella sitting in the passenger seat. My black dress pants immediately tightened when I saw her applying that damn cherry Lip Smackers. I groaned and looked at the red light. How can chapstick be such a fucking turn on?

Alice was talking about all the people she had heard would be going to the party, including Kate and Irina, Tanya's cousins. I tried to stay focused on anything other than the possibility of running into Tanya, but that always led to thinking about Bella and cherry chapstick, which led to me trying to think of _anything_ else to calm myself.

When we got to Tyler's house, there were a large number of cars parked outside. I knew that we would all probably be dressed better than the other people here at the party, but I didn't care. I think Alice had done this to make a statement, that it was the four of us, all together, and none of them were allowed to intrude.

I parked the car and then Jasper and I both helped our girls out of the car. Wrapping my arm around Bella's waist instantly, I led her up to the open door. She shivered, cuddling into my side more firmly and pulling her coat closed around her. The music was loud, and so were the voices of the people inside. Tonight would end in a headache, I had no doubt. I kissed Bella's temple, then guided her into the house.

I should have known it would be a bad idea to lead a defenseless lamb blindly into the lion's den.


	33. The Lion's Den

_a/n: Everyone deserves a break. Sorry. I love you all, and I can't even try to do the stuff for a dedication tonight. I'm tired - absolutely exhausted. I just wanted to get this up for you guys because I felt bad I didn't all. Yes yes, bad author award goes to me. I really did just wanna get this right, and to be honest I really didn't write it quite the way I'd hoped..._

_"To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world." _

**Bella's POV**

I pulled my jacket closed more tightly around me. The air was, without a doubt, below freezing, and the whipping winds characteristic of Chicago certainly didn't help. The strong winds whistled lowly in an ominous manner which didn't settle well with me, but was quickly drowned by the sounds of chatter and music coming from the house. I shivered, and Edward tucked me more firmly under his arm. My heels clicked in time with Alice's once we stepped onto the wooden deck, and then all of the sounds around us increased exponentially the moment Jasper pushed the door open.

We stepped inside the house, and joyous shouts rang out in waves, beginning nearest us and then moving further away. Alice wasn't lying when she'd said Edward had been King in high school. Everyone, it seemed, wanted to have a piece of my Edward before we'd even fully stepped over the threshold. I was knocked back a step, even, by the enthusiasm of all these people, and the immense number of them all crowded in the one house.

Or maybe it was the smell that had me falling away a bit.

Instantly, my senses were overwhelmed by not only the loud noises - which kept me rather in the dark, so to speak, as far as to specific things which were going on - but by the startling, strong scent of the house. The best I could determine of the strongest individual flavors - if you could call such disgusting...fragrances...that - circulating in the air and nearly choking me with their sudden onslaught, the house reeked of cheap perfume, stale beer, pot, cigarettes, and sex. There was the unsavory, salty aroma of sweat and body odor, but it was much smaller than the others, thankfully. I ran my fingers under my sunglasses, wiping away the tears that formed in my eyes as a result.

Edward squeezed the arm he had wrapped around my waist, bringing my attention back to him as he led me further into the mass of bodies that was more like a wall. I was pushed, bumped, knocked, and tripped, though I almost giggled at the fact that Edward - the god of gracefulness - didn't seem to fare much better. Almost.

My nerves were reaching an all time high, my heart leaping into my throat, as we pushed through. I felt almost as though we were being suffocated, and Edward, at one point, had to stop and asked me what was wrong. I wasn't having a panic attack, but I was panicking. I remembered the last time I'd been stuck in such a crowd like this one.

_My mom's hand was tightly clutched around my wrist as we exited the stadium. My ears were ringing, people were still screaming all around us, and I couldn't even hear the steady tapping of my white cane on the ground. My mom was dragging me quickly, trying to pull me through the crowd of girls._

_I'd come with my mom for a week in California. In a few months I'd be turning 16 and like any teenage girl, I was pretty excited about the Jonas Brothers concert my mom had gotten us tickets to. The evening was great, a night on the town together before going to the arena for the show. Until we got to the concert. I didn't know why I hadn't expected all the ear-splitting screaming of the teenage girls or the loud volume at which the music was projected, but I supposed I hadn't thought much about it other than that I would be spending a night with my mom for the first time in three weeks._

_So, now, as we exited the arena, I was a little - just a little - disoriented. My mom was pulling me in one direction, then darting around what I assumed was people. I was having a hard time keeping up, and I continued to stumble as people were seemingly always in my way. I heard lots of angered shouts, was shoved repeatedly, until finally I dropped my cane and lost grip on my mother's hand, falling to the ground in the mass of people._

_I tried to stand up, only to accidently get knocked down again. I scrambled around, trying to find my cane or my glasses - they had fallen off the second time I hit the ground - but only seemed to move farther away from it all. Even worse, it seemed, was that I was separated from my mother, and she still hadn't found me._

_It was quickly after this realization that I felt like I was breathing through a thin straw. The sounds faded away, and all I could feel was the cool floor beneath me._

"Bella," Edward's voice was in my ear and woke me from my memories. "Are you alright, my love?"

I nodded, leaning into him. We were out of the crowd, I noticed quite happily, and I took in a deep breath. Okay, that was a bad idea, because the smell only seemed worse over here. Turning my face so that my nose nuzzle against Edward's skin, I breathed him in. Much better.

"...coat?"

I turned my face up toward him. "Huh?"

He chuckled. "Your coat, Bella. Would you like me to take your coat?"

"Oh. Um...yeah."

He helped me pull my arms from the sleeves and then ran his fingers over my cheeks. "Are you okay? You seem a little off tonight, and your skin is a bit flushed."

I nodded. "Don't worry, ma moitié. It's just all the sound and I was a bit warm. That's all." He pressed a kiss to my forehead, and I was glad he didn't press further, though I knew he wasn't convinced. Edward knew me, even if, right this moment, he wasn't capable of reading my eyes. Apparently, they were what always gave me away to him.

Instead, he tried to change the subject, probably to distract me. "Will you ever tell me what your little nickname for me means?"

I smiled at him, genuinely. "Nope."

"Why?" he whined.

"Because it really irritates you this much. It's quite amus-"

"Hey Edward! What's up, big dog? And who's your little lady friend?" a male voice called loudly.

**Edward's POV**

"James," I greeted, trying to sound as kind as possible, though I was pretty sure it came as more like a growl. He used to be a great friend. We'd grown up together, been on the same team from the time we first started playing all the way through senior year. The bond we once had wasn't nearly like what I had with Jasper, and not even quite what I possess with Emmett, but we were still damn close. Until he decided to screw around with Tanya when she and I were dating. But most importantly, I didn't like how he was looking at my Bella.

Dimitri and Felix flanked him - surprise, surprise - and were leering at my girl as well. That wouldn't do. Before I met Jasper in high school, those three had been my best friends. When Jasper came along, and those three became a little more cocky, lost some of their morals, and broke a few too many rules, I hung out with them less and stuck more by Jasper's side. But they'd still been my friends. Dimitri and Felix seemed to have had no qualms about being with Tanya as well, and in a threesome no less.

They'd betrayed me, but it didn't matter. Tanya didn't matter - although I prayed she wouldn't be here tonight - and neither did these guys.

_Stop eye-fucking my girlfriend, asshats_, I screamed in my head, but instead greeted them in the same way I had James, giving each of them a small nod in acknowledgement.

"How are you, Eddie-Boy?" Felix asked, moving next to me and clapping me on the back. I shifted Bella to my other side and tucked her safely in my arms.

"I'm fine." My answer was stiff, and Bella could probably sense how unhappy I was at the moment - or maybe she just noticed how tense and unyielding my body was - because she placed her hand over mine and rubbed small circles on my skin. I pressed a quick peck to her forehead as I glared at James, whose eyes were locked and Bella's beautiful bottom.

_Mine._

"James," I chided curtly.

"Whaddya want?" he queried, still not lifting his eyes.

"Up. Here." My words were firm and held a startling undertone, and immediately his eyes flew to my face.

Dimitri immediately came to James defense, but if he thought he was helping the situation, he was sorely mistaken. "Calm down, Eddie. We're just admiring the hot piece of ass you've managed to snag. Where'd you find her?"

Bella froze in my arms and I swear I roared in anger. I released Bella as red descended over my vision in a gossamer veil and I stalked toward Dimitri, my face in his as I spat, "Disrespect my girlfriend again, I dare you."

Jasper's soothing hand rested on my shoulder. "Let's not start throwing punches yet, Edward. You'll end up with coal in your stocking come morning."

I gave Dimitri one last glare before turning to Jasper and walking away with him. "Where's Bella?"

He stopped and started looking around. "Alice grabbed her and led her away. I don't she was happy with Dimitri's comment. Kinda grossed out by them, you know?"

I looked around, but there were just too many damn people to spot my girl and my twin. Finally, I felt my sister's delicate hand, after maybe five minutes, on my arm. "There you guys are. I've been looking all over for you people."

I breathed a sigh of relief and turned to find my Bella, only to see my sister was alone. "Alice, where's my girlfriend?"

Her black eyebrows furrowed together and face scrunched up in confusion. "I thought she was with you guys, since she wasn't outside the bathroom once I came back out."

_Oh god..._

**Bella's POV**

"Those guys are such assholes," Alice told me as she led me somewhere.

"Uh...yeah, I really didn't like them. I could feel their eyes on me. My skin was crawling...but I was more focused on Edward. What was up with his reaction?" I'd been so confused earlier by the way he'd stiffened the moment he'd heard the voice of that man - I believe his name was James. Edward had mention a James once before. Actually I was sure he had mentioned all three.

"They used to be, like, best friends before Jazzy moved to Chicago. They were really great when we were kids. But high school changes you, and then they were some of the guys who...well, Tanya and...you know I should probably let Edward explain this..."

It clicked, then. They were the friends on the team who had slept with his then-girlfriend. Betrayal.

"I get it," I told her. She stopped, then, and I faintly heard a door open.

"I need to go to the bathroom. Can you wait out here for a minute?" she asked me.

"Yeah, sure. Of course."

I wasn't too keen on the idea, but what was I supposed to do? Stand in there with her? No thank you. I'm a big girl now. Don't need to be following Mommy while she takes a piss.

It was only seconds later that I heard the grating voices of girls as they surrounded me. One roughly grabbed my arm and pulled me away while another placed a hand on my shoulder, pushing me forward.

"What are you-"

"We just wanted to have a...private conversation with you," one of them said.

"Don't worry. It'll be quick," another reassured, but it was hardly received in that way.

I swallowed hard when I heard a door shut behind us and the click of a light switch being flipped. The hand dropped from my arm and the hand on my shoulder gave me one last shove.

"So, we saw you walk in with Edward Cullen."

I swallowed again, trying to keep count of how many there were. I was up to about five, between the different voice I had heard.

"Did he just pick you up on your corner on his way over? Because really, you'd think he'd date someone...well, a little more in his league, you know?"

"I don't know what he could possibly see in you."

_How could he love a girl that couldn't tell him what color shirt she was wearing? Who might put on a yellow shirt with green shorts and purple socks?_

_How could he love a girl that couldn't look him in the eye for real? Who hid her eyes from him because she hated them? Because they were useless?_

_How could he love a girl that couldn't do something as simple as read the newspaper? Who couldn't do her laundry on her own? Who had to be supervised to cook her own meal?_

_How could he love a girl who couldn't see the world in front of her?_

_I heard a knock at my door and pulled my glasses down from where they sat atop my head, balancing them on my nose before answering the door._

_"Hey, babe, what's with the sourpuss?"_

_I shrugged. "It's just been a long Friday, Alice," I answered vaguely, pulling my jacket on and opening up my cane, walking out alongside her and closing my apartment door._

_How could he love a girl like me?_

"I mean, why would he want some little pathetic, worthless, Plain Jane?"

There were more mumblings around me, like "Freak" and "Outsider" and even "Desperate."

"I'm sure he's just toying with you, you know. Until he finds someone better, or comes to his senses. Because he can. That dazzling smile, I'm sure, drew you in. Made it so easy for him to hold the strings and dance you around in his little puppet show."

_"Are you ashamed of me? Of my blindness? Are you just having fun with the blind girl, because you can?"_

"He probably won't put up with you much longer. I mean, there's plenty of beautiful women around here. He doesn't need some sad little teenager to be embarrassing him around his old friends."

_Do this. Don't do that. It was all I'd heard from my mom all afternoon._

_"I can't let you embarrass me at this party tonight, Isabella. These people are all very important to me and none of them can know about your...condition. God dammit, I knew I shouldn't have allowed you to come this week. And I should have called a more reliable sitter..."_

_Embarrass? This was how my mother felt about me? My condition?_

_The nine year old me went to go take my shower, crying as I understood the meaning of my mother's words._

"Bella?"

I knew that voice. I could feel the tears sliding down my cheeks from under my glasses as Jasper came over and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"Thank you, _ladies_, for watching over Edward's girl. I've got her, now, so you're all welcome to leave."

"Oh, Jasper, we were just telling her how beautiful her dress and hair were! And don't you look amazing tonight. College has done you a world of good."

I could tell Jasper was aggravated, but he acted politely toward them until finally they were all gone. I heard him pressing a few buttons on his phone before he closed it and gave my shoulders a squeeze. "Whatever those skanks said to you, ignore them. Ignore all of it, because I doubt any of it was true. They're just jealous, because you have Edward Cullen as your personal, lovesick puppy, and none of them ever managed that."

I shook my head, saying nothing at all as their words ate away at me.

**Edward's POV**

We'd split up, searching, and I was practically having an anxiety attach when Jasper finally texted me.

_The EAC Official Fan Club got to her. Tyler's dad's study._

I couldn't have gotten there fast enough, knowing that whatever Jane, Heidi, Irina, Victoria, and Chelsea had said to her would need to be erased immediately. I was thankful that Tanya wasn't here tonight - I'd been informed that she'd left about ten minutes before we arrived with her conquest of the evening - because it would be much worse than whatever these girls would dish.

When I found her, I could see the tears on her cheeks as Jasper whispered to her about those girls being nothing but jealous sluts. I immediately went to her and removed her sunglasses from her face. Her eyes were unfocused, and the tears were heavily gathered and falling down her cheeks. I swiped them away, wondering where her mind was currently taking her. She was only half there with me as Jasper slipped away from the room.

I buried my face in her hair, murmuring soft words to her, telling her how much she meant to me and how precious she was.

Finally, she came back to me.

"How can you love me, Edward? How am I good enough for you? I'm not beautiful, like you think I am. I can't deal easily with stuff I'm not used to. I can't even see anything, for chissakes! I'm not good enough for you and-"

"But you are, Bella. You're everything to me. I need you, because I love you, and I love you because of who you are." Bella loved to read, loved quotes, so I thought back to quotes I'd knew. "'You don't love someone for their looks of their clothes, or their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.' But you are beautiful, and not just on the outside. You're beautiful to your very core.

"And Bella, you make me feel right, whole. Like there's a part of me finally filled that I knew was empty all my life and was just out there, waiting for me. I love how you make me smile, make me feel happy. How you rid me of any loneliness and how you make my heart beat a mile a second. I love you for loving me, for helping me, for letting me help you. I love you for giving me life like I've never known. You're incredible and strong and you don't let anyone stop you when you really want something. You've shown me your world, still teaching me what your world is like, and I'm realizing it so amazing how you live like you do, how you are so capable of living better than I have ever been, and doing it so beautifully and gracefully. And I love how you help me do the same.

"'I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out.'"

"Elizabeth Barrett Browning," she interrupted me softly, followed by a small hiccup. I chuckled and kissed her nose.

"Bella, I love you. So much, that it hurts."

"Like your heart is going to explode right out of your chest whenever we're near each other," she whispered, making me realize she felt the same as I did.

"There are no words better to describe it than the ones you just used."

"I'm sorry. I keep..."

"Doubting me," I finished for her.

She nodded. "It's just so hard. I can't help but always wonder, when people remind me of-"

I pulled her face to mine, kissing her thoroughly, because she didn't need to say anymore. I knew what she meant. I understood. Because I knew Bella, and she would always doubt herself. I don't think she realized it was herself, and not me, that she was doubting tonight, but it was. I just hoped someday she would realize otherwise.

I pulled back from her lips, and the both of us breathed heavily as I pressed my forehead to hers.

She grinned stupidly, her white teeth a sweet contrast to her kiss-swollen, red lips. "'A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.' Ingrid Bergman," she quoted, and I chuckled.

"I love you, my little English geek."

She pecked my nose. "And I love you, ma moitié."

I didn't leave her side for the rest of the night. I couldn't leave her side, even I'd had to. We spoke to other people, not many, but a few. This hadn't been the best Christmas Eve, and I would have much rather spent it at home with Bella, curled up on the couch reading _Romeo and Juliet _together.

People were curious about the sunglasses, but I would always change the subject, until we were talking to Kate and Garrett. I had always trusted them, even if we'd never really been particularly close. Garrett had been the most amazing short stop I'd ever seen, and it didn't surprise that he was playing baseball for Miami right now. Kate had subtly questioned about the glasses, and I knew I'd surprised Bella when I told them the truth. But I trusted them, and I also knew that Kate was looking to be a special education teacher, hoping to work with the deaf and the blind.

Kate gave Bella her cell phone number and Bella ended up giving Kate hers. I knew that Kate and Garrett would end up a part of our future someday.

**Bella's POV**

Edward fell asleep before his head hit the pillow. I'd helped him out of his clothes and tucked the blankets around him. I fed Amabel and then set him on the pillow by his head. She purred loudly, and Edward grunted. I heard him shift on the bed, and I realized he'd moved onto his stomach and spread himself completely over the bed. I laughed distractedly and went to take a shower.

My mind had been only half with Edward all night, the other half racing around the world in 80 days. When I stepped into the scalding water, the burn was welcome. My mind didn't settle, but my tense body did relax a bit.

The truth was, those girls had gotten to me. I shouldn't have let them, but they did. Edward could have so much better than me, should have better, but for some reason, it's me that he wants. He's made it very clear that he loves me, many times now, and he shouldn't have to. I shouldn't be that weak. But I am. I just wished that I could give him the 'better' that he deserved.

As my mind processed that thought, my entire body just seemed to freeze. Because I could. I could give him better. I wanted to give him better. The question was, would I?

_a/n: okay, so ik ik, just keep in mind that..._

_1) Bella was just incredibly overwhelmed all night_

_2) The girls hit on just about every fear she's had and more_

_3) Bella's still having a hard time after hers and Edward's fight from him not telling his parents. those doubts are all still pretty fresh_

_4) she was also just incredibly scared..._

_Review please!!!_


	34. Every Time We Love, It's Christmas

_a/n: Alrighty. So, looking like we've got a big chapter here, at least from what I've noted down on my twelve post it notes. I've also planned out another chapter or two, so we're good. I _do _have to tell you all - well those of you who ACTUALLY READ MY AUTHOR'S NOTES!!!! - that this story is beginning to wind down. It'll be a few more chapters, but we're hitting that final stretch. Now, of course, I've added a little somethin-somethin to this chapter, a twist that I hadn't planned on so we'll see what that does to my original plans but I don't believe it'll change much at all. Hmmm...Okay, well it's about that time of year for me that every high schooler hates. That's right, I start midterms Thursday. So, Thursday, Friday, Monday, and Tuesday I will be quite...fucked up. I also have a huge - and my first - cheerleading competition this next coming weekend. As a result, there may not be another update next Saturday for which I am sorry. There is a song used in this chapter, and if you wanna know what it is, it's "Two Is Better Than One" by Boys Like Girls. Anyway, that's all I can say right now. Oh, and I meant to get this out last night, but it ended up being a lot longer than I'd thought it would, so I didn't finish it until about 2 o'clock today, and there are two pictures on my website www(dot)freewebs(dot)com/myfanfictionpics for this chapter that you might wanna check out. _

_This chapter goes to **GoldenPhoenix12**. She's a reader of mine who recently found my story and has given me some great advice, as well as has been willing to help me when needed. She is a mother, a wife, and a student. And she is blind. I admire her, and I hope my Bella can be something like her. I'm honored that she enjoys my story, and it's nice to know that other than two mistakes I've made early on in my story, that I've managed to make it realistic from her standards. She's helped me, even if she doesn't realize it, and so here's my thanks to her. **GoldenPhoenix12, **you're definitely one of my favorite people right now. Thanks!!_

**"**_**Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas." -Dale Evans**_

**Bella's POV**

I remember Christmases past, always so beautiful when I woke up to the happiest family I could ever imagine existed. It hurt to realize that much of the happiness, on my parents' behalves at least, was false and forced. So much of it had been a ruse, but I tried not to let that get to me. It had struck me, this morning, that this would be my first Christmas without that family which I had once believed was perfect and tight-knit. However, I also quickly remembered it would be my first Christmas with my Edward.

I'd woken to Amabel purring loudly, her entire self vibrating as she rubbed her little, furry head against my face. Edward had been curled around, almost in a protective manner, as the heat of his body sheltered me from the cold air, which instantly assaulted me the moment I threw the blankets off myself and scrambled to the bathroom.

Amabel stayed with Edward in bed, and I snuck down to where the colossal Cullen Christmas tree stood proudly, the sweet smell of pine attacking my senses, carrying such simple joy with it through the air. Sitting on the cold marble floor before it, I allowed myself to drift away from the quiet Cullen Mansion and back home to our humble house in Forks.

"_Bells! Bells! Santa came! Come and see - I mean feel - all the presents he brought! Come on!" Emmett's childish voice boomed from downstairs. I shot out of bed, my entire body vibrating with the excitement his voice radiated. I was still so young, so unaware, at just the age of five that I had yet to begin wearing sunglasses to cover my eyes. At that time, I wasn't really aware how different I was in comparison to the other kids. I was just a happily little kid who thought I was really special._

"_I'm coming! I'm coming!" I darted around my house in socked feet, knocking into things left and right, slipping on the steps, and sliding my way along the wood floor until I landed on my butt directly in front of the Christmas tree Dad and Emmett had searched all day last Saturday for. The smell of the holidays was thick in the air, and I squealed in delight as I scooted my little body forward, seeking out some presents with my outstretched hands._

"_Right here, B," Emmett said, handing me something which was soft and fuzzy. It only took me half a second to realize it was my stocking, filled to the brim with little tiny gifts. The both of us started in on them. I heard clicks, meaning Dad had pulled out his camera, but Em and I were completely oblivious as we enjoyed the sweet innocence that was gift opening at 5:30 AM Christmas morning._

That had been my favorite Christmas, I think. There were others of course, but nothing topped the pure, unadulterated joy that was that year.

"Bella?" I heard, breaking me from my reminiscing. It had been Esme's voice, I knew, which echoed off the walls of the enormous room.

"You're up early, Esme," I commented, turning toward her but not making a move to stand. I could hear her feet touching the floor with every step she took but the sound was muffled. She was, no doubt, wearing socks or slippers.

"I could say the same of you, dear."

I loved her voice. It had such a motherly tenor in it. So soothing, calming. And it had a silky quality to it, almost in the way that Edward's voice was like velvet. In one of our many conversations since we'd first met, I'd learned that Esme had been a choir girl at her church, and she'd aspired to become a singer professionally, but when she'd met Carlisle, her dreams had changed. She'd wanted to be a mother and a wife, not out and about all over the world touring and doing late night gigs. She wanted to tuck her children in at night and greet her husband home with a warm meal on the table. Carlisle had tried to convince her to not give up on her dreams, but she'd told me what she'd said to him that night:

"_When you find your other half, the world doesn't ever look the same as it once did."_

I'd thought a lot about what she'd said. And she was right. Everything had changed from the moment I'd met Edward, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

**Edward's POV**

Waking up in a bed with only our kitten cuddled up next to me wasn't exactly my ideal Christmas morning, but it was worth it to see my girl and my mom sitting before the tree together. Mom had an arm around around Bella's shoulders, and my angel leaned into my mom. I grinned at the sight, not wanting to intrude, and quickly shuffled back upstairs to get myself ready for the day. It'd definitely be a long one.

~*~

Hurricane Alice engulfed the Cullen household just after lunch, distracting everyone thoroughly while Jasper and I snuck away. He'd been planning this for weeks now, and I had been helping him out since the start. Now, all we had to do was put this all into action.

**Bella's POV**

"Renee Dwyer's phone, how may I help you?" the female voice came over the phone.

"Hey, Macy, it's Bella. Is my mother around? I was hoping I'd get the chance to speak with her."

"Isabella! Merry Christmas to you! Hold on just a second." Her voice was friendly and overly saccharine. She talked as though we'd always known each other, but we'd never met once and she'd only been working for my mother since September. Still, I offered her my thanks and a 'happy holidays' in return. I was surprised my mother couldn't even answer her own cell phone on _Christmas_.

There were muffled voices and the sounds of the phone exchanging hands before I finally heard my mom's voice. "Isabella, merry Christmas. How are you doing?"

I sighed. My mom didn't sound very enthusiastic about talking to me. In fact, she sounded almost like she wanted to do anything but that. "I'm doing well. Merry Christmas to you too. How's the Big Apple?"

"Good, good. I've been incredibly busy though, so I haven't really gotten to enjoy my time here just yet. Do you like your gift?"

I started. I'd forgotten about that. "I'm sorry, Mom. It must not have arrived until after I left. I'm in Chicago, with Edward and--"

"Chicago?! You went to Chicago with that _boy?_ Isabella, what in the world are you doing in Chicago?"

I groaned. I was already flashing back to the phone call over Thanksgiving break.

"We came to Chicago because that's where his parents live. His sister, who happens to be one of my closest friends, and her boyfriend, Rose's cousin, both came back to Chicago while Emmett and Rose went to Paris for the break. Dad went down to California, and so Edward and I were originally going to stay in Seattle, because I didn't really have any place to go otherwise and he didn't want me alone for the holidays. But then his parents showed up and convinced us to go back to Chicago with them for the holidays, and so we did."

"Isabella Marie, I do not like this one bit. I don't like you being so committed to a boy and going places where you have no support if something happens, do you--"

"Mother, I love Edward with all my heart, and nothing terrible is going to happen--"

"Love?! What do you mean, love?! You're only eighteen years old! How can you possibly--"

"'Age does not protect you from love...' Jeanne Moreau once said that, and it's the truth. I know what it means to be in love, because I have found the love of my life. And he loves me back, despite my faults and flaws and blindness. He loves me and he proves it to me, over and over and over again, reassures me of it when I doubt myself. He is good to me, even Dad and Emmett can see he's it for me and that I'm it for him. Why are you the only one fighting me on this?!"

"Because you are too goddamn young! I don't want you to make a mistake, marrying too young when you have a load on your plate and find him showing you courtesy! I don't want you to marry him and realize you don't love him, but end up stuck and--"

"Glad to know that you feel I forced you into something you clearly didn't want. Merry Christmas, Renee. Enjoy your holidays and wish your boyfriend a happy fucking New Year from me."

I hit end on my cell phone just as I felt Edward's warm arms wrapping around my body, pulling me into him as his body folded around me. He was guarding me from the world again, and I gladly accepted it.

"Rough phone call?" he asked softly.

I nodded. "How long have you been in here, listening?"

He pressed his lips to my temple before tucking my head under his chin. "From about the time you quoted Jeanne Moreau."

There was something in his voice, some emotion. I pressed a kiss to his clothed chest. "I meant every word I said. I will never love any person more than or similarly to the way I love you. My heart is yours, ma moitié, forever."

"As mine is yours, my love."

**Edward's POV**

We stayed there, holding each other, for a very short period of time. I'd come to get her for a reason, and I needed to see that reason through.

"Come with me. There's something you won't want to miss."

She seemed confused, but allowed me to lead her downstairs and to the closet. I slipped her into her jacket and one of my ski hats. I pulled on one of my own jackets and put it on, then took her out to the front where we both sat down on the steps after I brushed the snow off. My guitar was leaning against the house, so I picked it up and positioned it on my lap properly.

I looked up at Jasper, standing out in the middle of the snow. Perfect white snow flakes were falling all around him where he stood looking up to the second floor balcony. He gave me a subtle sign, and I began to play, knowing Alice was now standing up in said balcony.

_I remember what you wore on our first day  
You came into my life  
And I thought, hey  
You know this could be something  
'__Cause everything you do and words you say  
You know that it all takes my breath away  
And now I'm left with nothing_

Mom and Dad stood in the doorway and watched as Jasper serenaded their daughter. Bella was listening contentedly, shivering just a little in the cold Chicago wind. She still looked confused, but seemed to enjoy the music.

_So maybe it's true, that I can't live without you  
And maybe two is better than one  
But there's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life  
And you've already got me coming undone  
And I'm thinking two, is better than one_

Bella's hand found my knee as she leaned her head on shoulder, careful not to disrupt my playing. I grinned down at her, whispering the words for her.

_I remember every look upon your face,  
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste  
You make it hard for breathing  
'__Cause when I close my eyes and drift away  
I think of you and every thing's okay  
And finally now, believing  
_

___And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you  
Well maybe two is better than one  
But there's so much time, to figure out the best in my life  
And you've already got me coming undone  
And I'm thinking two, is better than one_

"Is he..." she trailed off softly.

"He is."

_Ooooh, I can't live without you  
'__Cause baby two is better than one  
There's so much time, to figure out the best in my life  
And I've figured out with all that's said and done  
Two, is better than one  
Two is better than one_

"Mary Alice Cullen, I can't live without you. Please, do me the honor of becoming my wife," Jasper called up to her, spreading his arms to indicate the message that he'd spelled out in rose petals on the fresh blanket of clean white snow. It was so Alice, just as was the squeal and the continued screaming of "yes" which faded as she dashed into the house. It was only moments later that I watched my tiny little twin sister run out of the house and jump into Jasper's arms.

He kissed her passionately before setting her back on her feet and kneeling down on one knee. He produced the black box which held a unique ring. A large, circular, crystal blue jewel sat in the center of the ring, and then three small circular diamonds sat in triangle formations on either side of the precious center. It was definitely made just for Alice. Just as Jasper was designed solely for her.

**Bella's POV**

So, Alice and Jasper were now engaged. They'll never forget this Christmas. It was beautiful, the proposal. At least, from what I heard. After coming inside, tears in both my eyes and Esme's, Edward told me about the scene he'd helped Jasper lay out earlier. It was so romantic, and it was also so Alice. Not to mention, she was pretty damn satisfied with the huge rock on her finger.

As Edward led us in our separate directions, he bent down so that his lips were skimming my ear and whispered, "Someday, that will be us."

I loved that man.

We went up to Edward's room and retrieved Amabel, who meowed her displeasure as we disrupted her nap. She settled down quickly, though, in my arms as I stroked her soft fur. We went to Edward's music room, and he sat down at the bench. He played my lullaby, which brought back the tears and made my heart practically stop as I heard it on the beautiful instrument for the first time. After that, we sang Christmas carols and joked around. Esme and Carlisle joined us, singing along. Esme had the most beautiful soprano voice and I couldn't get over how angelic it was.

When Alice and Jasper finally emerged - they'd disappeared for a while, and Alice's makeup was curiously unkempt - we all went to the tree to open presents.

It was Carlisle's turn to play Santa this year, so Edward took a seat on the floor in front of the sofa and pulled me down, between his legs. He imprisoned me in his arms and nuzzled my neck while we left Amabel run around freely. Carlisle began to pass around gifts, and we all began to open them, one by one.

**Edward's POV**

Amabel was playing around with a ribbon that was three times too big for the tiny kitten, but that didn't deter her as she tangled herself up in it.

Mom and Dad had passed out their gifts first, my favorite of which was the set of season tickets to see the Seattle Philharmonic for Bella and me. We would both enjoy those so very thoroughly.

Next, Jasper's gifts had gone around, though he'd already exchanged gifts with Alice earlier at the Whitlock house. He got me a Tom Herr baseball card, signed by Tom Herr himself. The first baseball game I'd ever seen was a tape of Seat Cushion Night, and I'd wanted to play ever baseball ever since. He gave Bella a text reader, something that she could actually put over a book and it would read out what it said for her.

Alice got both of us clothes, but they were wonderful and top of the line. She bought Mom and Dad a couples massage.

Next, Bella handed out her gifts. She handed Alice a gift certificate to a spa they'd gone to a while back, and mom a special cook book she absolutely loved. My eyes popped open when Jasper, Dad, and I opened up tickets to the Superbowl this year as well as the plane tickets needed to get there. The seats were amazing, and way too much. All of us insisted, but she wouldn't hear of it and told us to enjoy them. Then, another gift from her slid into my lap, and I couldn't believe there was more as I unwrapped it.

I looked at the black leather cover of what could have been a journal or a photo album. On the front was raised bumps which I quickly recognized was braille, and then beneath it was written, _Love is not blind; it simply enables one to see things others fail to see._

I looked at Bella's face and realized she was actually nervous. All of my family was watching us, so I grabbed Bella's hand in mine and ran her fingers over the braille and whispered the written words into her ear, asking if they were one in the same. She nodded to me. I opened the book and saw a sheet of paper, covered only in the raised bumps I knew were braille. I ran my hand over them, feeling them under my fingertips but not knowing what any of it meant. I continued flipping through the pages, and each was the same. About half way through, there was a sheet that had black letters under the braille, telling me which ones meant what. An alphabet sheet. I tried to distinguish some of them from others, but I was having a nearly impossible time. Then, as I turned the pages, I saw only typed text on them. Translations. I tried to scan them, and realized they were little thoughts and memories, all recounting her days spent with me from the first day we met. I closed the book and saw, set into the back cover, a picture of us, happy, goofy, and completely in love at Alice's Halloween party as I cradled Bella to me. That was us, captured perfectly in one of our happiest moments. God, she was beautiful. Us, together, _we_ were beautiful.

"Bella..." I whispered, my voice slightly choked. "Bella, this is..." She was biting her lip, waiting for me to say something. I cleared my throat, reaching my hand up to stroke her cheek before leaning in and brushing my lips with hers, then settling them there for a tender kiss. "I love you."

She smiled widely, repeating the sentiment, even though I didn't need to hear it. I could see it in melted chocolate her eyes.

**Bella's POV**

I was so relieved with Edward's reaction to the gift. I felt that not only did it have sentimental value, but it was yet another way I could bring him into my world.

Carlisle had handed me my gift from Edward last, but I didn't need it, because hearing the emotion in his voice, the way he'd said 'I love you' like it meant so much more than those three little words could ever portray, had been more than I could have ever wanted.

Alice squealed loudly once she'd torn through her wrapping paper. "I'm going to Fashion Week in New York City!!!"

"Not just any Fashion Week, Alice," Edward corrected as I carefully took apart the wrapping paper on the gift, not wanting to tear it at all. "Bridal Fashion Week, during Spring Break, you will be going to New York City, along with whomever you chose as your Maid of Honor."

"Rose will be sooooo excited!" she squealed. And honestly, I was relieved I wasn't going to be sucked into Alice's wedding madness. That woman was going to be a tornado, and I just didn't fair well in unusual weather conditions.

I finally got rid of all of the paper as Esme and Carlisle thanked Edward for the Touch Artwork he'd gotten for them, as well the medical joke book. Carlisle was already telling jokes - we all laughed, not that we actually understood half of them.

Edward helped me to retrieve his gift, and I felt them, trying to determine what they were. Three thin, metal cuffs. With bumps.

"No way!" I ran my fingers over the diamonds set in perfect formations.

The first thin band read:

_My Heart My Soul My Everything_

The second metal band read:

_Edward and Bella_

And the third one read:

_2009 Until The End Of Time_

"Edward, this is so...so...Oh, this is so perfect, but it's--"

He pressed a finger to my lips, cutting me off. "Don't you dare say it's too much."

I kissed his finger and handed the bracelets to him, then held out my left hand. "Will you put them on me?"

"It would be my pleasure, my love."

**Edward's POV**

The pure joy and love radiating from my Bella's eyes made the weeks of searching for the perfect gift, for the perfect words, more than worth it. She kept running her fingers over the cuffs around her wrist while she sipped on her hot chocolate. The fire in the hearth. The flames burned a brilliant orange and yellow, some blue occasionally finding its way into the colorful mixture. The light they radiated danced across my love's features while Amabel chewed on the end of her ribbon, her new beloved toy.

I set my own hot chocolate down beside me and pulled the book Bella had created for me into my lap. She shifted and set her own drink down as she heard me open it up. Reverently, I stroked the raised dots on the pages, trying to understand how she could ever distinguish the 'A' from the 'X'. I gained yet another facet of appreciation for what she had achieved thus far as I attempted to 'read' what was written on the page.

Her hand joined mine on the page, running over the first line as she read it aloud to me.

"_I could have attempted to avoid the oncoming collision I knew would result as you ran toward me, darting around one person or another on that busy sidewalk in the early morning, but I didn't."_

I chuckled, rubbing her shoulder as I listened to her keep reading.

"_Your alluring scent lingered with me all day. And your voice rang pleasantly in my ears, distracting me from my work. You were just a ghost to me, then. You continued to assault my every sense until I finally met you again that night in the club. It was sweet torture, talking with you. Your velvet tone overcame the pounding bass that shook the entire building. Your scent once again took me over, drew me in. When you asked me to dance, when you held me close in your arms, I was sure I was in Heaven. I never knew back then how much better it could be. I do now._"

I kissed her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, her lips. I saved her eyes for last, kissing each of them lingeringly.

"It becomes so much more everyday, ma moitié," she whispered.

"We have everyday of the rest of our lives to make sure each new day is better than its yesterday," I answered.

~*~

Dinner at the Whitlock house was tradition, now. We'd done Christmas dinner there since we first met them. They were a second family to us, and they extended that feeling toward Bella. Deb Whitlock already knew almost all there was to know about my girl, from years of talking to Rose's parents. Bella was already accepted as their daughter.

This year was different, though. This Christmas was a huge celebration. Alice and Jasper were now engaged, and there was more than enough cheer, love, and champagne to go around. Bella and I didn't drink any, and Dad limited himself to two glasses, but Mom and Deb would be suffering major hangovers in the morning.

The smile never left Bella's face, although she continued to check her cell phone periodically for a call from Emmett and Rosalie. Finally, at around 10 o'clock, she gave up. It'd be in the early hours of the morning, and she doubted they'd call now. She was a bit worried about them, but I assured her they had been likely enjoying their Christmas in Paris too much, and maybe had gotten a bit 'carried away', as those two were liable to do. She seemed to settle after that, but I knew she wasn't entirely convinced.

Bella and I both decided we would go home around 11:30. Amabel had been home alone a long time, and she had to make a quick phone call to her Dad to wish him a happy holiday, which she'd forgotten about after her call with Renee.

We said our goodbyes and got into the Cadillac Escalade ESV which I had chosen to drive Bella and myself in because of the poor weather. The roads were terrible from the snow which had fallen heavily through out the day. There patches of ice everywhere, and I didn't want to take any risks.

I turned to look at Bella, who had just opened her cell phone up and was currently pressing a few buttons, when I heard it. Her head shot up, horrified, and I knew she'd heard it too.

**Bella's POV**

The squealing of tires. Edward's startled gasp. The sound of collision. The feeling of the impact.

The faint smell of iron and rust. The fear and need for the man I loved overriding the nausea that was threatening to take over.

The panic seizing me as I reached out and touched his leg. The broken sound of my voice when I called his name and received no response. The sob that broke through my closing throat.

The feel of his warm blood on my fingers as I touched his forehead. The sound of my heart pounding in my ears. The shaking in my hands as I called out for help.

The sirens. The men calling out, "Sir? Miss?"

My scream when they pulled me away from Edward.

My choked voice when I begged them to allow me to go with them. The ringtone of my forgotten cell phone, playing Emmett's tune. My cell phone pushing into my hands, along with my purse.

Voices calling, "Miss?" again. Hands leading me to the ambulance, helping me in. My body shaking, my heart pounding. My ears ringing from the sirens. The ambulance lurching forward. Fast speaking, words I don't understand.

Soft, strangled sobs. My cell phone still ringing. My own repetitive whispers, "Edward, please, I can't lose you. Please."

A woman's voice telling me, "You can hold his hand." My own trembling hand, reaching out blindly. A hand on mine, guiding it. Edward's still hand under mine. No response. Waiting. Waiting for his fingers to lace through mine.

The rush when we both get to the hospital. Fast words. Hands grabbing me, taking me away from him. My screaming as they set me somewhere. Poking. Prodding. A voice, "She's okay, let her get to her loved one."

My cell phone ringing.

"Edward! I need him! Where is he?!"

"Bella, calm down. Come on, I'll get you to him." Carlisle.

My cane in my hands. Fatherly arms holding me, helping to lead me.

Beeping. Esme's voice. Steady breathing. Edward's steady breathing.

"Is he..."

"He hasn't woken yet. It's already been over an hour."

"But he'll be..."

"He should be. He was lucky. But we can't ever know for sure."

The uncomfortable hospital chair. My hand wrapped his, warm but unmoving. Fragile. Seconds ticking away. Minutes taunting me. Hours passing me by.

My voice, words just spilling forward in a one-sided conversation. Esme and Carlisle leaving the room, giving us privacy.

Turning my cell phone off, because the ringing won't stop. Nurses, doctors. Morning approaching. My voice, still talking to him.

"Ma moitié. It means 'my half'. You are, my other half. My better half. Please Edward, you have to come back to me. I won't ever be whole again without you."

His hand. Squeezing mine.


	35. Air, Ma Moitié

_so, i'm sorry. i know, shitty author award here. whatever. i'm tired, it's nearly midnight, and i just finally finished this so i wanted to put it up asap. love you guys._

_ik i've been kinda mia, and i had a few PMs and reviews asking me where i was, so i figured that since i dnt wanna put up a chapter that is simply an AN (that's always really mean and deceiving haha) i decided to get a twitter as well as a FB page where any of you can message me or talk to each other through feeds and stuff. also, my website is still up, so check that out. places to reach me:_

_**twitter(dot)com/Adidasgrl328**_

**_www(dot)facebook(dot)com/pages/Adidasgrl328/281375303699_**

**_www(dot)freewebs(dot)com/myfanfictionpics_**

_yeah, so, heres the next chappie. sorry again abt the delay and the lack of a dedication..._

**Edward's POV**

_Swimming in the darkness of unconsciousness, I fought for what seemed like an eternity trying to reach the surface. I had to break the surface. I felt like I was being held underwater. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see, and I couldn't move. It was like my head was filled with water, too, and my limbs were chained to concrete blocks, forcing me to stay at the bottom of an ocean. And it was dark. Really dark and cold and frightening. I struggled to free myself, but I couldn't. I was ready to stop fighting, but then I heard her voice._

"_Ma moitié. It means 'my half'. You are, my other half. My better half."_

_I pulled, tugged, gaining control of my muscles with renewed strength. My shackles broke away, and I could push myself forward._

"_Please Edward, you have to come back to me."_

_I swam. My limbs burned with the effort, and my lungs burned with the lack of air I still felt. But I had found a light, guiding me to the surface. It was the voice of my angel, my love. But I was tired, and the light was still so far away. I couldn't reach it. Fatigue settled into my limbs, as if I was still attached to the cement blocks, and I couldn't move further._

"_I won't ever be whole again without you."_

_A hand appeared, reaching toward me through the waves in the heavy water. I stretched toward it, grasped it. It began pulling me closer, bringing me to where I needed to go. I gave the hand a gentle squeeze, the coldness and darkness disappearing in the depths of my mind, being replaced by sweet air and the image of my love in the mist, attached to the hand which brought me to the top and helped me break through the rolling waves. _

And then the mist faded away and clarity returned to me. The ocean disappeared and the light was gone. The darkness was back, but it wasn't a scary darkness. There was beeping beside me, the sounds of various machines whooshing and whirring nearby.

"Edward, please..." my angel whispered. I squeezed her hand again.

"I'm...right...here, love," I whispered, at first trying to speak louder before realizing that the words burned in my throat, still rough from a long sleep. How long had I slept?

I heard her sob. "Oh, thank God!" The weight of her head was in my lap, her hand still gripping mine, but more tightly now, as though it was now the one helping her from the dark depths of an imprisoning ocean. I lifted my free hand and placed it on the back of her head. Stroking her hair in what I hoped was a reassuring gesture, I tried to recall what happened.

I recalled Bella toying with her cell phone. I recalled a strange sound. I recalled realizing it was squealing tires. I recalled the image of an out of control car sliding toward us. I recalled the jolt of impact, and the searing pain that followed in my head. I didn't recall much beyond that, other than the fading of everything else to black and silence as I myself faded away into unconsciousness.

I cleared my throat, opening my eyes to the dark room. A bit of light was seeping in through the curtains, but it wasn't very strong, more of an orange, so I assumed it was either about dawn or dusk. Machines around me gave off light, and the clock on my bedside table read "6:45". So then the dawn must just be breaking.

Bella was a dark figure, leaning over into my lap, and I was desperate to see my angel's face. It was rather quickly that her shoulders stopped shaking from her crying, and her fingers instead just traced soft, random patterns on my thigh. She turned her head so that I was no longer running my fingers through her hair and was instead stroking her soft, wet cheek. She hiccuped cutely a few times, and I gazed down at her, the little light in the room outlined her features.

She sighed. "I love you. So much. So, so much," she began whispering, and kept repeating it over and over again as if she didn't even realize she was speaking. She absentmindedly continued tracing little circles and figure eights and swirls on my leg over the blankets, and I watched her. It was absolutely adorable, to be honest. I must have stopped stroking her cheek at some point because she nudged my hand with her nose, like a dog, asking me to resume without words.

Then she started humming, and I was almost positive it was "You Got Me" by Colbie Caillat. She was only about half way through when the door to my room and my parents came into view.

"Oh, Edward, thank goodness. You're awake!" my mom exclaimed, and I chuckled as I looked at her. The worry lines on her usually youthful face showed her true years, but slowly those creases faded away and she just looked tired but happy. She wore no makeup, and her hair was in a messy pony tail. She looked a little pale, but if I remembered correctly, she was also, in all likeliness, a little hungover from last night. She was wearing what Dad and I had long ago dubbed her "Comfort Clothes": long-sleeved college t-shirt, jeans, and Nikes.

Now that I'd been awake for a good amount of time, the scratchiness in my throat had dissipated and now my mouth simply felt like it was growing mold. I needed a tooth brush.

"Don't we look lovely this morning, Mommy," I teased, grinning at her. I ignored the throbbing in my head, as I'd been doing all morning, and continued stroking Bella's cheek. She looked so peaceful, her eyes closed and her breathing even, that she gave the appearance of sleeping, but I knew my Bella better. If she were sleeping, I'd be hearing her pretty little voice spewing all sorts of nonsense.

"Hush. You nearly gave me a heart attack last night. Trying to send me into an early grave? You've definitely knocked a few years off my life as it is," Mom immediately shot right back, walking over to me. The closer she came, the better my view of her became. I noticed the tears gathered in her eyes, and as my dad turned on the lamp in my room - I suddenly realized it was definitely one of those much better, private suites - I could see that a few had fallen already.

My mom sat down on the side of my bed, while Bella remained in a very uncomfortable-looking plastic chair on my other side, seemingly content to just lay with her head in my lap as long as my hand continued to stroke her cheek.

"We were...so worried," Mom admitted, running a hand through my hair before settling it on the side of my face. It was shaking, and suddenly I was concerned for my mother's own well-being.

I slipped my other hand out from Bella's grasp, which she released all too quickly, sensing my need to comfort my mother without even seeing the look on her face. I tugged my mom's pony tail with a reassuring smile before resting my hand on her cheek. Dad came over and set a hand on her shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze.

"I'm okay. I know it's your job to worry, but you don't need to worry so much any more. I'm awake, and I'm healthy. As far as I know, I'm alive." I looked to Dad who just chuckled as I joked around about that. I looked back to Mom and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead like she always did to me when I was upset. "It's all G."

She finally cracked a watery smile and snorted. "Goodness, what had Seattle done to my little boy?" she teased. Under her breath, she admiringly whispered, "So grown up."

I simply grinned at her, and then looked to Dad. "So, what's up Doc?" My Bugs Bunny impersonation - okay, it was a pathetic attempt, but I was in a hospital bed in a gown that would have shown my ass to the world if I hopped up; cut me some slack - got a giggle from Mom and my angel, who was still tracing her nonsensical designs on my legs. Did she realize that was kind of a turn on?

_Dude. Your mom is sitting two inches from you. Chillax._

"I'd love to tell you, but I'm afraid we'll have to wait until your _favorite_ doctor arrives," Dad answered.

I frowned, knowing that he was being sarcastic when he said 'favorite'. "Doctor Denali?" I questioned tensely.

"Don't say my name with such distaste, boy," a man said, walking in. Silver hair, perfectly trimmed and styled, rimless glasses which were almost intentionally crooked, and a creepy smile were the characteristics of the one and only Aro Denali, my ex-girlfriend's bastard father.

"Not distaste, sir. I apologize if it sounded that way," I instantly replied, offering him a polite smile as suddenly my head began to pound with a new intensity.

"Very well. How are you feeling today, Edward?" he asked, turning his unhappy, cold, grey eyes away from my face and toward my Bella, who had frozen and tensed in a physical reaction to the - surely - unsettling tones of my voices. I wanted to hide her away from Dr. Denali, simply for that fact that the strawberry blonde demon he had named Tanya was born with half of her chromosomes coming from the old man.

"Pounding headache. Nothing I can't manage with a nap and some heavy duty tylenol." I shrugged it off like it was no big deal. I wanted this man out of the room ASAP. I looked down at my Bella, who wasn't wearing her sunglasses, as she shifted and sat herself up from my lap, wearing a look of displeasure. I'd admit, I wasn't too happy about that myself. Mom got up as well, allowing Dr. Denali complete access to me.

He examined me quickly, determining that I seemed pretty fine other than some bruising, a mild concussion, and the gash in my head.

"You're lucky, Edward. I've seen much worse come out of much less," the old man warned disturbingly before leaving the room.

"So, one more night?" I questioned my father with a pout.

He chuckled, nodding. "One more. He is right. You were very lucky."

Bella had her head down, as if looking at her hand which she was wringing in her lap. "There was so much blood," she mumbled so lowly that I was sure it was meant to be heard only by her.

_Blood? There was so much... Oh, God, she'd been awake after the accident. She'd had to..._

I reached out to her, but she didn't seem to respond. Dad laid a hand on her shoulder, leaned into her ear to whisper something, and she seemed to nod reluctantly before standing up and walking out of the room with him leading her. She extended her cane and gripped Dad tightly, forgetting her sunglasses on the table by my bed.

I reached over to grab them, holding them in my hands like it was all I'd have left of her for the rest of my life.

"She's been more worried than any of us," Mom admitted, taking Bella's vacated chair. Her hand settled over mine which were still nervously toying with Bella's glasses. They were Bella's security, and she'd left them here...when she was already so vulnerable.

"She worries a lot, too. Like you. A heart of gold, filled with fear. She wants to take care of everyone around her the best she can, because they always seem to provide her with more help than she can ever hope to return," I replied.

"Bella's a good girl, Edward. Really good. When I imagined who you'd marry one day, I didn't imagine her, but she's so much better than that fictional girl, because she's real and she loves you and she's just...just good. I couldn't hope for anyone else to hold your heart than that beautiful woman who just walked away with my husband."

I smiled at Mom's words, feeling such comfort in her spoken acceptance of my girl. It meant a lot. Those little things, like that, were what meant the most.

"She is good. Too good. And maybe she deserves better than me, but she chose me for some reason and I'm going to spend the rest of my life making sure she doesn't regret that decision."

Mom's smile was brilliant in response to my words. "Do you plan to..."

I grinned, chuckling. It was as though she didn't want to jinx it by uttering the words. "Not now. I want to get a ring...so I'm prepared when I do chose to. I don't really know when, but we've only just started this thing between us, so we've got time. Someday, just not today."

"I think that sounds like a good idea. You're young. Jasper and Alice have been together for year and you and Bella have only been together for a little over two months. Nothing wrong with waiting..."

I nodded, knowing she had more to say.

"...Just, remember that while you don't want to rush into anything, life is also unpredictable. Last night proved that. You don't want to miss out on anything before it's too late, or anything like that. Your dad pulled some serious strings so that Bella could be with you all night. But you needed to wake up with her beside you, and damned if I'd have let rules keep my boy's needs from being met." She shook her head, trying to stay on track. "You both needed it, and you'll both always need each other. From the moment I saw you two together, I knew she was it for you. And I know you know it too. And so does she. Don't let time keep you from what you really want."

I smiled gratefully at her. My mom was the best. Still, I sensed there was something more she wanted to say. "Go on, Mom," I finally encouraged.

"Just one last little piece of advice. There's never a 'perfect time', where you can just plan to pop the question. Things will get in the way, ruin your plans, and you'll end up never asking. Just go with the flow, Edward. When it's time, you'll know."

**Bella's POV**

"_You're lucky, Edward. I've seen much worse come out of much less."_

_The faint smell of iron and rust._

"_He is right. You were very lucky."_

_The feel of his warm blood on my fingers as I touched his forehead._

"There was so much blood."

I could feel the warm liquid on my fingers. Oh god. Oh god.

_The broken sound of my voice when I called his name and received no response._

There was a hand on my shoulder. Warm, gentle, not Edward's. A voice was in my ear.

"Bella, will you please come with me? I think we need to give mother and son a moment together."

I knew he was actually trying to help me get out. I needed air. Fresh, cold, winter air. That was what I needed.

But I didn't want to leave him.

_My scream when they pulled me away from Edward._

Air. Need air. Yes.

"_He should be. He was lucky. But we can't ever know for sure."_

Fine now. Go. Air.

I nodded, reluctant to leave Edward's side but needing to breathe because suddenly the stale scent of the air was making breathing a painful burn.

Carlisle led me away, and my cane tapped as we walked. He remained quiet, and I was grateful because I needed that. I needed just a moment. He took me into an elevator, which descended slowly as it stopped on one floor or another and other people squished inside.

_His hand. Squeezing mine._

Yes. Fine now. Okay. Calm down.

I groaned, and Carlisle wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"Head wounds are a little melodramatic," he spoke in my ear, keeping our conversation private. "They bleed excessively and tend to knock one unconscious. That's exactly what happened with Edward, Bella, and he's okay now. Nothing but superficial damage to his forehead."

I nodded.

"I know it's scary, and I know you're wondering _what if_...but you need to just take a deep breath and live in the present. Esme was in a car accident about seven years ago, and I knew exactly how you feel. She took a hit to the head, and broke her left wrist, but when she woke up, the first thing she told me was, 'Looks like your stuck with me. So quit thinking about what you'd be doing if this had been different and start planning where you're taking me to dinner once we blow this pop stand.'"

He chuckled, fond of the memory, and even I could feel the corners of my mouth turning up.

"That woman always knew me she could read my mind, but that's what happens when you love someone. You learn them inside and out until you can read their mind when they need to you. I needed to hear those words, and believe me Bella, they helped me. She was right. Don't think about worse case scenarios, think about what things you're going to do because you still have the chance to do them."

The elevator doors opened, and this time Carlisle escorted me out of them and led me quickly out into the cold air. I didn't have my jacket, but I felt a warm fleece wrap around my shoulders. Of course, Edward wasn't just a gentleman. He was taught by his charming father. Carlisle hugged me to his side and continued talking, soothing me more and more with each and every word. It was no wonder why he was such an amazing doctor.

"Where are we going?" I finally asked, now that the cold air and Carlisle had calmed me down.

"There's this diner where I usually go eat lunch when I'm working. Don't tell Esme about it, because she'd kill me for eating so poorly so often, but I love it. They've got the _best _cheeseburgers around."

_He opened the door and guided the both of us in. I could smell hot dogs and burgers and grease galore the moment we walked inside, and my mouth watered._

"_It smells like a grill in here," I commented, stating the obvious but wondering where we were. He never really gave me an actual answer._

_He simply replied, "That's because they make the best cheeseburgers around."_

I bit my lip, remembering our second date, as Carlisle led me into the busy diner. Silverware and plates clinked against each other, the occasional glass hitting the table too hard.

Their burgers weren't as good as the ones Edward and I had on our second date, but they were pretty damn close.

**~*~**

The pattern of Edward's breathing signaled that he was asleep when we reentered the room, but I had already known he was out as Esme had told us. She'd greeted us at the door, and informed us, very quietly, of his state of napping.

I returned to my seat, not minding the uncomfortable plastic as long as it meant I could be beside Edward again. I placed my hand over his and rubbed circles over the skin. Edward shifted, and I immediately regretted that I had disturb his sleep as he woke.

"Hey," he greeted softly, still sleepy.

"Hey," I answered, just as gently.

He turned his hand over beneath mine and was about to twine our fingers before he withdrew them from mine. I frowned, but heard him shifting. He patted the bed with his hand, then.

"Hop up, my love. I need you to be closer to me."

I bit my lip, apprehensive. I turned my head in the direction of his parents, knowing Carlisle was the doctor here at the hospital, and that hopping up on patients' beds was probably against the rules. "I don't think it's - hey! What...?"

Hands - Carlisle's - lifted me from my seat and up onto the bed with Edward, who immediately pulled me into him. Without my consent, my body curled into his.

"Hospital policy be damned," Carlisle chuckled. "You need him just as much, Bella."

"Thank you," I whispered.

**~*~**

**Edward's POV**

My parents left us alone, and we both turned on our sides. Bella melted into me as our bodies lines up, allowing us to rest heart to heart. Her face titled toward mine, and mine toward hers. We just laid there for what seemed like hours, staring at each other.

As always, I knew she couldn't truly see, but when we were like this, I felt as thought she was looking into my souls. She knew it so well, that I had no doubt she could see every bit of it. It was, after all, hers.

I cradled the back of her head in my hand and leaned my head further in.

"I love you," I whispered against her lips. "And for the record, you are most definitely the _better _half between the two of us, _ma moitié_."

She giggled. "God, that accent was atrocious. Still, I love you for it." And she pressed her lips firmly to mine.


	36. Sometimes You Get Lucky

_a/n: Okay, so I'm really hoping I don't get flamed at all for the first half of this chapter, because I know some people are going to not like me for it and that's fine but this was something that I had decided was a long time coming and was planned from the beginning, although originally it was that Bella couldn't reach Emmett the whole time he was away so... Anyway, you'll find out soon enough._

_Last chapter, everyone seemed to like Bella and Carlisle's relationship, and it was something important to me because in one of the future chapters she's going to go to him for a little help..._

_Also, last chapter we all listened to Esme give Edward a little advice (he was just afraid of losing Bella in the accident and in the future as Bella was of losing him, but he didn't quite reach the point of hysterics that she did, because he hadn't been awake as long to process everything, and Esme succeeded in cutting him off at the pass) after he realizes that he doesn't want to waste another second without being legally committed to Bella in case something like _that _were to ever happen again. Now, it's Bella turn to really see that life shouldn't wasted, but we're introducing a whole new MINOR (never will be seen again after this chapter...) character to do just that._

_Disclaimer: I don't own any of these amazing characters, except for Calvin Callahan. That old fart is _mine_. ¡¡¡Es mio!!!_

_Dedication: **twimom817**!!!! thanks for all the reviews :)_

_**twitter(dot)com/Adidasgrl328**_

**_www(dot)facebook(dot)com/pages/Adidasgrl328/281375303699_**

**_www(dot)freewebs(dot)com/myfanfictionpics_**

**_x o x o x o x o x o J O R D I B R O O K E x o x o x o x o x o_**

**_Chapter 36 BEB: Sometimes You Get Lucky_**

**Bella's POV**

"WHAT THE FUCK?! ISABELLA MARIE SWAN, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!"

"Hi, Emmett," I mumbled, tightening the hold on the front of my jacket as the wind whipped against my face. I alternated between tapping my cane against the ground and playing with the strap which kept it to my wrist as I leaned against the wall of the hospital.

It was rare to hear Emmett this angry, but this level of rage had only ever been directed at me twice before.

The first time, he had been eight and I had been seven. I'd just gotten a new toy for my birthday, a big bouncy ball that played all sorts of music whenever it hit the ground. I'd been outside playing with it when I'd bounced it too hard and lost control of it. I'd scurried after it, following the sound and paying little attention to anything else. I'd just wanted my ball back. I'd thought it was the coolest thing ever. Of course, I hadn't heard the car coming down the street before I'd run into the middle of road after my toy. I'd ended up just fine, the car had stopped, but Emmett had been so afraid that he immediately expressed his emotions by screaming at me about how stupid I'd been.

The second time, he'd been sixteen and I'd been fifteen. He'd gone out with his friends and gotten drunk while Rose and I had enjoyed a girls' night together. The next morning, when I'd tried to get him out of bed like I always did for what had once been our traditional Saturday morning cartoon marathons, he'd thrown gone into an absolute rage. He and Rose ended up separated for a month as a result, and we'd never had a Saturday morning cartoon marathon ever again.

"DON'T YOU _DARE_ 'HI EMMETT' ME! YOU CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS TO ME!"

I tried not to let it affect me as I listened to my brother yell at me for not answering the phone, about how afraid and worried he'd been while I was off doing "whatever the hell Little Miss Bella wanted to do without considering anyone else", but it did. Tears froze against my cheeks in the far below freezing weather, trying to get a word in, to explain what happened, but he wouldn't let me. He insulted me, insulted Edward, insisted that I was being selfish and stupid and inconsiderate. He told me I needed to spend more time caring about my family, and less screwing around with Edward. He reminded me that it had been Christmas, and that I had clearly just decided that now that I had a boyfriend who would take care of me, I didn't need to at least use common courtesy and wish my family, the family who gave up so much of their precious time for me, a "Merry Fucking Christmas."

I supposed it was ice to know what exactly Emmett really thought of me, and of all that he'd sacrificed over the years because I was too pathetic to do anything for myself.

"Is _that_ too much to ask for, Isabella?! Is it really?!"

And it seemed like he finally took a breath for the first time. But I couldn't breathe, not anymore. My heart wanted to pretend I hadn't heard anything he'd said, but my mind knew every word he'd breathed. It processed every sentence, syllable, letter, and released it all in a series of uncontrollable sobs as I crumbled to the sidewalk outside. There was silence, other than his breathing, on the other end of the line.

"I'm...Sorry," I managed to squeak out, before I closed my phone. I couldn't take any other word he might have chosen to say to me after that.

"Bella," a voice whispered beside me, and the warmth of my boyfriend's father's own velvet like tones fell over me in a once again soothing manner. "I take it your call with Emmett went poorly?"

I shook my head. I heard him shift, and recognized that he was seating himself on the disgusting Chicago sidewalks with me.

"I followed you out here, wanted to make sure you would be okay. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that one should never let a beautiful young lady such as yourself be alone in a strange city, whether she would be walking in dark alleys alone at night or standing just outside a hospital on her cell phone in broad day light."

I tried to crack a smile as I pushed my glasses up my face a bit, allowing me to wipe away tears.

"Especially when the beautiful young lady is clearly upset. Would you like to talk about it?"

I shook my head again.

"No. Okay, would you like to take a walk?"

I shook my head for a third time. I was sorely tempted to just sit here and wallow.

Emmett hated me.

"Okay. Would you like to go back to Edward?"

I shook my head vigorously.

"No, that would be a terrible idea!" I exclaimed, my words busting past the lump in my throat, sounded hoarse and like they themselves were coated in tears.

He chuckled. "She speaks."

I scrunched my nose, trying to think of something else. If I wanted to go back to Edward, I'd have to calm down.

I recalled Carlisle telling us more about the accident a little while after I'd been giggling about Edward's attempt at pronouncing his nickname. He'd said that the other car had hit a patch of black ice, and being rather old, had lost complete control. There'd been an old man in the car, a sweet old man who had gotten out of surgery rather late last night. I wondered if I could go visit him. I didn't know why, but I felt this awfully strong urge to go speak to him.

"Carlisle, the man in the other car..."

"Yes?" he encouraged, hoping that I would have something I'd like to do.

"Would it be okay...I mean, you said he was here at the hospital...and I kind of want to go talk to him?" It came out completely unsure, but I realized I really did want to do so. I tried my best to swallow the last of my tears as Carlisle answered affirmatively, standing up and then offering me his hand.

I really like Carlisle, a lot. He treated me with the same fatherly love as Charlie did, and I really missed my dad so much. It was just...nice.

He took me to the elevators and we stepped inside an empty one. I stopped him from reaching toward the buttons, asking, "What floor?" I pressed the button which corresponded with the number he told me, enjoying the feeling of the braille beneath my fingertips. I'd never known why, but it was always soothing. Immediately afterward, my fingers found my bracelets.

_My Heart My Soul My Everything_

I hadn't even realized we were at the man's room until Carlisle knocked on the door. I vaguely remembered him asking a nurse for the room number a few minutes before, but hardly.

"Mister Callahan? Would you mind a bit of company?" Carlisle asked.

The voice that answered was gruff and husky with age and probably years of smoking, but you knew the man was old and wise because of the underlying tone the rang through. He was intelligent, too. It was strange, how much just a voice could tell you about a person if you took the time to listen and knew what to look for. His was a nice contrast to the smooth velvet's of Edward and Carlisle's voices and the soft silk of Alice and Esme's (when Alice wasn't happily shrieking, of course). The roughness to it held years of pain, an edge of sadness.

"Told you you're welcome anytime, Doctor Cullen."

"Told you to call me Carlisle," was the playful retort.

I smiled. Carlisle had said he'd visited with the man earlier this morning at...I took a moment to remember his name, but recalled Carlisle said Mister Callahan... at Mister Callahan's request. They'd spoken about the accident, and Carlisle had told Mister Callahan not to worry about paying for the damages to the Escalade and to only concern himself with recovering.

"I see you've brought a friend," Mister Callahan then said.

"I'm Bella Swan," I introduced myself as Carlisle led me in and took my cane away from me as he sat me down on a plastic chair. I took a moment, trying to let the sounds make me more familiar with my surroundings. I could tell there were a few more machines in here that weren't in Edward's room - more beeping and more steady _whoosh-_ing than I'd before. I could only, however, hear myself, Carlisle, and Mister Callahan, in the room. No one else was here?

"Afternoon, Miss Swan, I'm Calvin Callahan," he returned.

"Please, call me Bella, Mister Callahan."

"Please, call me Calvin."

I smiled at him. He was quite a pleasant man, as far as I could tell.

"If that's what you'd prefer. How are you doing?"

"You can shake my hand, I won't bite, nor am I contagious," he told me, instead.

I cringed, blushing, as I extended my hand to him, hoping he'd grasp it.

"I'm sorry... I didn't realize you were... That you wanted me to." He took my hand in his and gave it a soft squeeze.

"You can't see me, can you dear?" he asked.

I shook my head, embarrassed.

"Don't worry. It's okay. I don't hear or see very well anymore either. Comes with getting old, I s'pose."

I carefully retracted my hand from, noticing how warm and inviting it'd been. "I do suppose that's true."

"So, what brings you by to see little old me? Not that I'm complaining about having such a young beauty like yourself showing up and taking a seat in my room, but I'm sure you had other reasons." I detected a hint of an accent in his voice. Mississippi?

"Last night..." I trailed off, wondering what to say.

"You were the girl in the car?" His voice sounded so sad suddenly, and I could hear him withdrawing just a bit.

I nodded, reaching out to seek his hand again. I needed a connection, and I think he needed it too. I heard footsteps and the closing of a door - Carlisle had left - as the back of his hand finally came to rest beneath my palm.

"I'm so sorry, ma'am."

I hushed him. "It wasn't your fault. The roads were messy last night, from what I hear."

He chuckled sadly. "I knew better than to drive tonight, especially with the poor visibility and my...declining sight, but driving has always cleared my head. Being alone on Christmas puts a lot of thoughts in your mind that sometimes you just want to go away."

I squeezed his hand. "Too many people are alone on Christmas, when really nobody should be."

"That's one sad truth," he agreed with me. "But at least I'm not alone right now."

"Your family hasn't come to see you," I acknowledged, realizing he was more alone than he wanted to admit.

"I lost my wife to cancer a few years ago, never had kids, my friends all have families of their own to take of or aren't really in their right minds enough to come visit."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. My mind instantly took me back to thoughts of having nearly lost Edward and I felt a tear slip down my cheek. Another fell as I thought of Emmett hating me and my mom changing into the woman nothing like she'd ever been before.

"Don't frown, sweetheart. You never know who might want to see you smile."

I swiped away the tears, wondering how I could still cry. How could I still have tears after crying so much in the past 24 hours?

"The boy in the car...he was yours?"

I nodded, swallowing against more tears. "Yeah...My boyfriend. He _is _my boyfriend."

"How long have you been together?"

"Two and a half months."

He whistled. "My wife and I, we were married before the first month was over. But then again, things were different in our time. Courtship was short and quick, and you don't always have to love to be married. But you love him." He spoke like he knew. And I supposed he did.

"I do love him. You loved your wife, though, didn't you?"

"With all my heart. Sometimes you get lucky and know who you should be with the moment you meet. I got lucky." He chuckled. "No one knew we were courting. My Margaret and I, we snuck out all the time and met in secret. She was the daughter of a prominent city lawyer, and I was the guy who was selling apples at the market place. But I loved her, and somehow I got lucky and she loved me back. We ran away one night, found a church, got married, and the rest is history."

I smiled at his story. _That_ was love.

"She gave it all up for me. The rich fiance, the life of leisure, the future any girl in that time would have wanted. We worked hard to make ends meet, but it was all okay as long as we got to fall asleep together at night."

"I know that feeling," I whispered softly.

"I know you do. I could see it plainly written right on your pretty face the second I mentioned him. So smile for your boy, and tell him you love him, now."

I giggled. "I will, but what about you? I don't want you to be alone..."

"I think it's about time this old fart took a nap," he answered, yawning. I laughed, a real, full laugh, and he chuckled with me.

"Thanks Calvin."

"Thank _you,_ Bella. Hey, what's your boy's name?"

I smiled as I spoke it, standing up and patting his hand. "Edward. His name is Edward."

His voice was drowsy as he responded, "I'll make sure Maggie looks out for you two, then."

And then one of those loud, obnoxious snores filled the room.


	37. Dial Tones

**Emmett's POV**

"_I'm...Sorry."_

_Dial tone._

Fuck.

I could still hear those two broken words that she'd spoken before hanging up.

"Fuck," I finally voiced aloud, while Rose sat on the other side of the room, ignoring me as she looked out the window.

She was pissed off at me, and this time I couldn't say it was the pregnancy hormones.

"Please, baby, just look at me. Yell at me. Throw something at me. _Anything _but this," I begged pathetically.

She stood up, not once glancing my way, and walked toward the bathroom. Her face was permanently marred by her frown, and had been for the past two hours since I'd gotten off the phone with Bella.

I stood to follow her into the bathroom, but she locked the door behind her. I listened, standing by helplessly, as she wretched. She wouldn't even allow me to comfort or help her, choosing misery over my company.

_You do deserve it._

_I know I was wrong, but can anyone blame me?_

I'd been scared. I'd called her again and again for over sixteen hours. At first it was ringing and then it went to voicemail. After a little while, it just went straight to voicemail. I'd been afraid. Scared shitless. What if something had happened to her? What if she'd needed me? And here I was in Paris, enjoying my secret honeymoon with my pregnant wife, while my little sister could be off in Chicago, kidnapped or some shit.

I'd flipped. I'd worried and worried and paced a hole in the rug at the beautiful little bed and breakfast we were staying in. And when I'd finally gotten her on the phone, she'd sounded fine in her greeting. Perfectly fucking fine. So I'd screamed and yelled at her, because she'd frightened me and Emmett Swan and Scared do not mix happily. They never had, and they certainly never would.

If she'd seemed fine before, then she wasn't anymore.

I'd managed to hit on every fear I'd ever known her to have, and the worst part was that I'd spouted off so much that I hadn't meant, that wasn't true. Lies, and she'd probably believed every word.

_Way to fucking go, Swan. Let's see Edward undo _that_ shit. You'd need to be a master inTae Bella Do to unravel all the shit that just came from my mouth._

_If anyone can do it, Edward can, _I reminded myself. _Plus, you never said a word to her about anything... Wedding? Baby? Ring a bell? Because you've thus far left your sister out of two of the BIGGEST things that will ever happen in your life. Imagine how she'll feel--_

The lock on the bathroom door finally turned, and Rose came back out, pushing me to the side and heading straight for the bed. She laid down and dug out her cell phone, while I looked at the clock to see that it was pretty fucking late here, but about evening in Chicago.

"Babe, you should go to sleep," I suggested to her.

She ignored me, putting her phone on speaker as a ringing began to resonate through the cozy room.

I watched as she unknowingly spun her wedding ring around her finger in irritation. I was just glad it still resided there, and she hadn't thrown it at me, declaring she already wanted a divorce and never wanted to see me again.

I'd never been on the side of her silent treatments. We'd fought, a ton, and yelled and screamed and then screwed like rabbits once we'd made up, but never ever had I upset her enough that I got the cold shoulder. That was the worst kind of anger one could evoke in my Rosalie, and I knew I was doomed to suffer for my actions.

"Hello?" Jasper's voice asked, coming through loudly and clearly.

I swallowed. What was she doing? Was she calling to say she was going to Chicago and that she'd need someone to pick her up? Did she not want to be here with me anymore?

"Hey, what are you up to?"

"Not much, just heading over to the Cullen's with Alice. We went shopping today," he answered her, chuckling. "How's Paris?"

"It's been lovely. Listen, how's Bella? Have you heard from her at all?"

"Not since she and Edward left last night. Why? You haven't talked to her?"

"We did...but we hadn't been able to get in touch with her until about two hours ago, and we'd been calling all night. The conversation got a little...heated on Emmett's side and she was never given the chance to explain _why_ she was out of contact in the first place. I tried calling her after they hung up, but she wouldn't answer my calls, so I was wondering..."

"Like I said, I haven't seen her since last night. Hold on..." By the sounds of it, he must have covered the mouth piece, and his voice was muffled as he asked Alice to phone Edward.

"Yeah, we all had dinner at my house last night, but she and Edward left on the earlier side. It was late when Carlisle and Esme left, almost abruptly, and told us it was probably better if we just spent one more night at my parents' place since the weather wasn't great. Man, the roads have been a mess and phone and electrical lines are down all over with the snow and wind just taking them all out... Wait, what?...Ali, calm down...Sweetie, pull the car over..." I could hear Alice speaking rapidly and frantically, but not what she was saying.

"Look, Rosie, I'm going to have to call you back, alright? Alice is freaking."

He hung up without Rose's response and we just sat in agonizing silence for a half hour before we finally got a call back from Jasper.

"Rose, I gotta say Bella had a pretty good reason not to be answering the phone last night. She and Edward got into a minor car accident last night on the way home from our--"

"THEY WHAT?!" I roared, moving forward.

"Oh, hey Emmett. Didn't know you were there."

"Who was driving? What the fuck happened?"

_Fucking asshole. She was in a fucking car accident and you called her a fucking slut because she was too busy screwing around to care about how you felt???!!!!_

"Edward was driving, but it wasn't his fault. Another car hit a patch of ice and lost control. Bella came out with hardly a scratch. Edward, apparently, is pretty bruised up, has a nice sized gash in his forehead, and has a minor concussion, but he'll be out of the hospital tomorrow morning. He didn't wake up until right around dawn, and Bella didn't leave his side until lunch time, at which point Carlisle dragged her away reluctantly so she could completely break down without Edward witnessing."

Rosalie finally looked at me, for the very first time, and the look in her eyes was a punch in the gut. She had tears on her cheeks, and I waited for her to tell me to leave, but she never did.

"Thanks Jazz. Are you heading over there now?" she asked instead, turning back away from me as though she couldn't even stand to look at me.

"Yeah, we're just pulling into a nearby lot now."

"Tell Bella that everything Emmett said, he didn't mean, and then when she feels up to it, he'd like to spend a few hundred hours on his knees groveling for her forgiveness."

Jasper chuckled awkwardly. "Okay, I will. Anything else, darlin'?"

"Yeah, tell her I love her." Rose's voice was soft and sad.

"I will. You alright?"

"Will be. Love ya, Jazz."

"You too, Cuz."

And then that click that meant he'd hung up.

"Are you happy?" she asked me, but there was no malice or venom behind it. Just sadness. Resignation.

"I think I might be spending a few hundred hours on my knees groveling for _your _forgiveness, too," I muttered, moving to do just that on the floor beside the bed.

"Yeah, you will."

I took her left hand between both of mine and brought it to my lips, kissing the wedding ring where it still sat in its rightful place.

"I'm so, so sorry."

**~*~**

**Edward's POV**

Bella was awfully quiet as she sat in the plastic chair next to my bed. Her head stayed in my lap, and I stroked my fingers through her hair. I hadn't missed the fresh tear streaks that fell down her cheeks, but it was obvious she wasn't up to talking about them. Mom stayed on my other side, and the both of us played a game of Crazy Eights, which we hadn't played together since I was nine.

Alice and Jasper had burst into my room earlier, and when Alice finally calmed down enough to realize that I was okay, she berated us for not calling her sooner only to realize she'd, as usual, forgotten her cell phone in her haste to go shopping and it wasn't imperative that she be sitting at the hospital all day. Jasper leaned into Bella, saying something in her ear, while Alice kept most of the attention on her.

My girl fell asleep at some point, and mumbled over and over about Emmett and some guy named Calvin, but I couldn't make out enough to really understand her dreams. Sometimes she said cute little things that made Mom and I laugh at her adorableness. Alice and Jasper left to sleep at home, and eventually Mom and Dad followed, leaving Bella and me by ourselves.

"Nice nap?" I asked when she awoke around ten PM.

She sighed. "Pleasant enough."

Something was troubling her. "Love, please tell me what's wrong."

I twisted my finger around a mahogany tendril which frame her face. She lifted her head from my lap and toyed with her hands.

"Emmett was really upset with me, that's all."

Her voice was quiet, hurt, like that of a little girl being told her father didn't want her any longer.

"I don't really want to talk about it anymore, please. I'm tired."

I thought for a second before deciding to respect her wishes. I recalled the look on her face darkening just a bit after Jasper had whispered to her. Clearly, he'd spoken with Rose about whatever had been said between the two quarreling siblings. At the end, she'd had a moment where a small smile had graced her lips, before her mood became withdrawn and quiet once again, like it'd been before Jasper had spoken.

I knew it was probably more than she'd let on, but I wasn't going to force her to speak. I was pretty sure that she was still trying to process, so I simply scooted my body over on the bed and patted the space next to me.

She carefully climbed up and snuggled into my side, falling asleep almost instantly.

I allowed her inane chatter to lull me into my own slumber.

**~*~**

**_A/n: so, who's confused?_**

_**The back story that I don't think ANYONE will ever find out if they don't read this note...**_

_**Emmett asked Rosalie to marry him after Thanksgiving. They didn't want to wait - who WANTS to wait when they could be Emmett Swan's wifey?? - so they decided to have a secret ceremony (they wanted something special for just them) and chose to have a small reception for their families during Spring Break. So, they planned Paris as their little honeymoon, not that anyone knew it would be anything more than a romantic trip. (BTW - No one knew they were engaged, but Emmett HAD asked Rose's dad for his blessing.) They got married and then flew off to Paris. Meanwhile, Rose hadn't been feeling too great. When in Paris, she took a few pregnancy tests. Le gasp! They were positive! She cleaned them off - hello, who wants pee? - and then wrapped them up for Emmett to open Christmas morning. So, he opens the tests, flips, makes a shit load of love to Rose, and chats up her still flat belly, wasting away the entire day, which is why he forgets to call Bella until WAY WAY WAY late for them. When he does, the day had just been overwhelming. I mean, he'd just gotten married a week before, and then all of a sudden he's going to be a dad. Oh, and don't forget that you can't reach your baby sister, who you still feel the need to protect, and who you haven't really talked to other than the short conversation during which she informed him that she'd be going to Chicago - a strange city, house, family, etc. - with her lover - who Emmett trusts explicitly but still has a lot to learn about what it means (in Emmett's head at least) to take care of Bella - and so now he's panicking, and this day is just getting more and more overwhelming and emotional. And he worries and worries and tries not to think of the worst - she's hurting or dead or something like that - by thinking of the best possible cases for why she isn't answering and he finally comes to convince himself that she isn't answering because she's spending her day after Christmas doing what he spent HIS Christmas day doing. And that just pisses him off, on top of everything else, especially because then she'd made big, tough guy Emmett AFRAID. And Emmett doesn't do Scared. So he flips his shit on Bella when he knows she's safe, and he lets what he's convinced himself seep in and just goes off on her. He doesn't think. Just acts. And that brings you to the opening of this chapter.**_

_**Now, if you have any more questions just lemme know. Sorry this was such a short chappie but it just was. This totally wasn't even where I'd planned on this story going so...**_

_**Rose's ring will be on my website.**_

_**I have no school this week! Take that fuckers!**_

_**We placed on Saturday, me and my cheer team! 5th out of 10 teams!!!!!! We leave for Nationals in Atlantic City!!!! We are going to kick ASS!!!**_

_**Tired. Very tired. Want to sleep.**_

_**Everyone needs to sign that petition that's going around. I don't know what the web address is but please go and find it. For those of you who haven't heard, stories are getting deleted because we aren't following the rating rules. AMAZING STORIES. My favorites are going, and if FanFiction doesn't allow a MA or NC-17 rating, then there are going to be a lot more stories getting deleted, possibly even both of my own!!!! Scary?? Yeah, it is. Chances are, I'll be posting on Writers Coffee Shop or something. I'll let you all know when it does happen...I'll figure it out. Check my twitter or my FB page or my website, if something does happen, and I'll be sure to have something posted up there to redirect you all. HELP! WE NEED HELP! WE NEED TO STOP THIS NONSENSE!!!!**_


	38. I Finally Found The Words

_a/n: i know you all hate me. i'm sooooooo sorry for the delay. all i have to say is that it's been a combination of laziness and writer's block._

_so tuesday was my 16TH BIRTHDAY! that's right, ladies and germs, I'm officially 16. I took my first driving lesson this morning. scared fucking shitless! but i did well. i'll have my permit soon enough. soooooo excited haha. anyway, i got the entire twilight saga in SPANISH for my birthday. i'm officially on the cover of two books soon to be released. um, what else...i'm having my birthday "party" tonight, and we will be watching New Moon haha._

_Who's seen the eclipse trailer??? i have!! Jacob tells bella he's in love with her in it. it makes me feel kinda bad for him, until he starts telling edward that he's going to have to face that fact that edward might not be what's best for bella. then i wanted to hit jacob. but taylor lautner is seriously the sex. not lying. anyways, read. review. show my some love._

**Edward's POV**

Coming home was nothing short of magical. That hospital bed had become some sort of purgatory come the following morning as I waited for Dr. Denali to discharge me. There was always something keeping him from signing the damn forms. Dad grew more furious by the moment, while I whine and complained to Bella, who sat in her uncomfortable chair beside my mother.

Finally, Dad went to the nurses' station and paged another doctor, one he was rather good friends with, to sign my forms.

Later, my father began to explain to me why he was so sure it was taking so long. Apparently, Dr. Denali had actually spent a good portion of that time I'd be waiting in the on-call room with a new, young nurse from the maternity wing. Word around the hospital was that he'd begun quite a few affairs - one of which Dad had had the misfortune earlier on today to walk in on - after Tanya had announced her pregnancy to me and the subsequent falling out between the two of us, her and her family, and my family and hers. Mrs. Denali had turned a blind eye to her husband's indiscretions, since she had the pool boy and the gardener on the side.

I was also informed that not long after I had turned Tanya away, she'd gone away for a month. She returned looking more put together, though she was also even more slim than before. She told her friends that she'd gotten an abortion, unafraid of the way word could damage her reputation. Apparently, it hadn't hurt her at all in the ways which mattered most to her. Not long later, she'd left for Princeton, going into a pre-law program there, only being accepted based on daddy's dime and connections. I'd love to have seen her try to get accepted solely on her own credentials. I was glad she was on the opposite side of the country from me, when I was back on campus in Seattle.

After hearing the sordid details of the Denali's private lives from Dad, Mom chiming in every now and again with little tidbits from the ladies at the country club, I was finally released from the hospital and into my parents' and girlfriend's care.

I firmly gripped Bella's hand in mine as a nurse pushed my wheelchair - fucking hospital protocol - out to the street. I was surprised to see Bella had gone back to using her white cane, but then again, I wasn't, at the very moment, able to catch her should she trip and fall, nor could I truly guide her properly in walking. I briefly played with the thought of pulling her into my lap in the chair, but tossed the idea away, knowing that it _definitely _wasn't hospital protocol. She squeezed my hand every now and then as we traveled, and she grinned giddily when we finally reached the doors. They slid open automatically and the frosty air began to blow harshly against my exposed face, a welcome contrast to the stale air of the hospital.

"Good to be free?" Bella's voice floated along the wind. I looked up at her, watching the stray hairs which had fallen from her messy ponytail being pulled with the icy gusts. Her beautiful brown orbs were guarded by her glasses, but as my own eyes watered, I supposed she was fortunate that her eyes were protected from the wind. She had a soft, pleasant smile on her face as I stood from the wheelchair and thanked the nurse for transporting me. I wrapped an arm around my girl's shoulders and her smile grew in size, beauty, and brilliance, lighting up her face and my entire world with a radiant glow.

"Absolutely," I answered her, pressing a kiss to her temple. "I can't wait to spend the day at home with you and Amabel. I think I'd like to play the piano for my sweet Bells." My fingers were just itching to manipulate said instrument. It was rare that I went more than one day without playing piano, keyboard, or guitar.

Bella hummed happily as she leaned further into my embrace, likely seeking the warmth my body could provide hers as she shivered. "Sounds very good. Alice has been taking care of Bells, poor kitty."

I snorted loudly.

Mom and Dad arrived with Dad's Mercedes and we took the drive home in a comfortable, familiar silence, broken every so often by either my or Bella's contented sighs. Once home, Alice and Jasper rushed out to greet us, an unhappy looking Bell squirming in Alice's arms. My girl immediately removed the precious kitten from my pixie sister and the protesting cries quieted to a soft, happy purr. Amabel nuzzled into Bella's chest, seeking heat and the comforting sound of Bella's heart before falling into a satisfied slumber. My girl stroked the soft fur behind Bell's ears.

Alice watched in awe before jumping excitedly into my arms. She kissed my cheeks with a loud, "Mwah!" and then whispered, "Bella will make a wonderful mother someday, don't you think?" She hopped down to her boyfriend while I smiled tenderly at Bella, imagining her holding our baby girl instead of little Bell.

_An extraordinary mother, my girl would be. Someday..._

We all walked inside and immediately Bella sought my arm out so I would take her to the music room to play for her. I chuckled at how eager she seemed to begin right away, but I was no less excited than she. I led her to the black leather sofa and removed both our jackets, tossing them off to the side. I placed a kiss on each of Bella's eyes after removing her glasses and gave Amabel a loving rub before walking over to my piano and taking a seat. I played for what must have been hours, songs Bella requested, my favorites, and some silly jingles.

I could easily imagine doing this years from now, Bella curled up on the couch with our daughter spinning around the room like a ballerina. Bella's stomach would be round with our second child and she'd stroke it fondly while Amabel would rub her head against Bella's leg, purring as she'd seek attention from her Mommy.

"Edward, that was lovely," Mom complimented as she entered the music room from her previous perch in the doorway. "A new composition?"

I wondered briefly what I had been playing while I daydreamed, but couldn't remember more than a single strand of notes which certainly formed the melody of piece. "I suppose so. It seems I was lost in my thoughts again," I answered.

She laughed as she sat next to me on the bench. Bella was still cuddled up with Bell happily on the couch, murmuring to the kitten in French. I envied the small animal at that moment, for the sweet words of love my girl was surely speaking to her.

"You always did play you best when your fingers flowed so freely, without any logic imposed upon them by your mind," she reminded me, bringing my attention back to my mother and my music. I nodded, plucking out the melody on the keys. "I find everything is more joyous and beautiful when you let your heart and raw emotions take over every once in a while. Sometimes it's just better to let your mind take the back seat.: And with that, my mother stood and left my to contemplate her words.

Bella smiled sweetly at me before Amabel called out to her with a sweet, tiny, high pitched meow, breaking her face away from my gaze and hiding it in the curtain of mahogany hair. The cat purred quietly in Bella's lap, so I stood and walked to the couch, taking a seat and nearly purring myself when my girl curled immediately into my side. I pressed a kiss into her hair and she nuzzled her face into my shoulder while Amabel meandered into my lap. I chuckled, as did Bella, and we remained there on the sofa a while longer, a little family.

**~*~**

Bella awoke with a soft gasp and a sweet smile spread across her face as I set the tray down on the bed we shared. She sat up and felt around for me, pouting when she came up empty. I leaned over my empty half of the bed and pecked her nose, making her giggle as I finally climbed back under the warm covers. I pulled her closer to me before lifting a piece of bacon off the tray and settling it against her lips. She bit into the meat tentatively, probably assuming I had attempted to cook - generally a bad idea - before moaning in pleasure at the flavor. The sound lit a burning heat in the pit of my stomach.

"Delicious. Did your mother make it?" she asked, already knowing the answer as she grinned teasingly at me.

I growled jokingly at her in response, but she simply took the unfinished strip of bacon from my fingers and shoved it into my mouth, laughing at me. We fed each other for a bit before Bella decided she was done and Amabel needed to be fed, thus leaving me to finish our delicious breakfast while she tended to our kitten.

Hours after our kitten's feeding and the return of dishes to the kitchen, I locked my bedroom door and stalked toward my bed, where Bella lay reading in nothing more than one of my t-shirts and a pair of my boxers. I growled in her ear, startling her, and then leaned into her neck to suck and nip at the sweet smelling skin there. She moaned loudly and gripped onto my hair tightly, tugging just enough to arouse me beyond return. I moved to hover over her, my lips traveling to the very top of her tank, and licked between her two, beautiful, full, pale --

"Edward! Bella!" _Knock. Knock._

I growled in annoyance against her skin, muffling the sound, while she groaned at my mother's poorly timed intrusion. Her skin heated and gained a rosy hue as I turned my head toward the door. "Yeah?" I called back, trying to keep my voice normal. It came out tense and strained.

"We're all getting ready to go to meet the Whitlocks at the country club for lunch. Will you be joining us?"

Oh god, did I just want to stay at home with Bella's beautiful body beneath me. But, alas, I was here to spend the holidays with my family and friends. "Shower?" I quietly asked Bella, hoping we could be both productive and take the edge off a bit as well. She nodded immediately, eagerly, so I answered my mom, "Yeah, Mom, we'll be ready to go in about half an hour!"

"Okay!"

And then she was gone.

"Thirty minutes?" Bella asked.

I shrugged. "We'll have to make it quick."

We were downstairs an hour later, my mom struggling to muffle her laughter behind her hand.

**~*~**

That evening, Bella fell asleep on the sofa with Alice, and Jasper sat talking to my mom about his ideal wedding while Alice couldn't hear his hopes for something small and easy. He knew that it would be big and showy, and it was okay with him as long as Alice was happy and at the end of the day they were husband and wife. Dad sipped on his wine with Amabel curled up in his lap. The sweet ball of fur had captured the hearts of everyone in this house, and it seemed Dad was nearly as fond of her as he was of my girl.

With a large smile on my face, I retreated to my piano, where I once again picked out the melody of the song from early and then slowly added to it bit by bit until it sounded full and well-rounded. When I felt it was a pretty clean start, I set up my recording equipment and played it through a few times. Then I switched to my guitar and began to strum various chords until they came together into a beautiful harmony.

And it was then, that for the first time ever, the words came to match the melody.

_a/n2: so this may have seemed like a filler, and most of it was, but there were a few very small parts in here that will be significant to the very end and thats what i was setting up here._

_now press this green button below and all will be right in the world..._

**l**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**l**

**\/**


	39. Breakeven

_a/n: LE GASP!!!! An update! On Time!!! That hasn't happened in a while..._

_GUESS WHO GOT THEIR PERMIT TODAY!!! I DID I DID I DID I DID!!!!!!!_

_Okay, so this is not what I was expecting this chapter to be, but it just kinda became this since, in case you hadn't noticed, Bella hadn't actually told Edward what'd happened on that phone call with Emmett. Anyway, next chapter will be New Year's Eve Ball, a la Cullen. Sound good? Alright. Also, song in here: Breakeven (Falling to Pieces) by The Script. Awesome band. The Man Who Can't Be Moved is my favorite by them..._

_Um, yeah, life is cool I guess. Love being 16, have to say. Ruined my right shoulder last night and half reinjured my left. Was not a good night, although I did get to spot on the wedge for my back handspring and I'm practically jumping all the way over the barrel on it. Anyways, here's the next chapter. Oh, and I just LOVE Laurent and Amabel, don't you????_

_xoxoJordiBrookexoxo_

_**Chapter 39 BEB: Breakeven**_

**Bella's POV**

It'd been a rough few days.

"_He said WHAT?!" Edward exclaimed in anger, jumping out of bed and startling the hell out of me._

_I reached out, waving my hand around in the hopes to catch his, but then I heard his heavy breathing and pacing feet move further from the bed and I sighed heavily, leaning back into the mattress and pulling the thin sheet up to cover my chest._

"_Edward, come back to bed, please?" I requested with in a soft whimper, even though I knew he wouldn't. I heard him rummaging in his clothing drawer, pulling out some clothing before throwing the door of his room open and slamming it shut._

_I'd huffed in annoyance, waiting ten minutes for him to return, yet no such thing happened. So I left the warmth of the bed, rumpled sheets remaining as they were while the happiness and passion I'd enjoyed had receded long before Edward had slammed the door._

I'd tripped down the staircase, at the very bottom, and banged my knees painfully into the marble floor. Carlisle, bless that wonderful man, had come to my aid immediately, asking me why I was attempting such an unfamiliar area with not even my white cane for assistance.

_I blushed. "Edward left the room in a bit of a rage and I was thinking more about finding and calming him, really. I wasn't being rational."_

_He chuckled and led me off, somewhere..._

_I heard a loud crash, and then several items hitting the floor not milliseconds following._

"_Where are we?" I wondered to myself._

_Again, my love's father laughed. "Edward likes to bowl when he's really irritated. It's an odd thing he enjoys, and it seems to be something he picked up from Esme's father. You see, Esme's father was quite the bowler. He went every Saturday and Wednesday night with his team or more, from the time I'd known him at least. When Edward was young, it was their Grandpa/Edward time while his wife had Grandma/Alice time at the mall. At first, my son thought it was stupid, although we all know it was because it was the only thing the boy had ever struggled with up until then with his life."_

_I gasped mockingly. "No! Not Edward! That boy is perfect!"_

_Carlisle shock with his silent chuckles beside me. "Oh, don't I know it. Anyway, Esme's dad, Edward Senior - you'll meet him New Years Eve, my dear, by the way - he didn't seem to take very kindly to little Edward's hate for his favorite game. So Senior forced the boy to practice and practice until one day Edward got that perfect strike. The smile on his face, that one of amazed satisfaction at such an accomplishment, is one I'll always remember. It wasn't long later that we had two lanes put in here in the house, so he could continue to play. Of course, once he got older, it was one of his ways to get rid of his anger without hurting anyone else."_

Carlisle had led me back to mine and Edward's room at my request, and I'd hit play on his stereo, listening to whatever CD it was that he'd last listened to - listened to it four times over - until finally falling asleep on the cold sheets, alone.

_I woke the next morning against a warm, clothed chest, uncomfortable in the jeans I'd fallen asleep in._

_Edward was pressing kisses sweetly along the skin of my neck, but I pushed him away from me gently._

"_Bella?" His voice sounded confused and oddly hurt._

"_I think I'm going to go spend some time with Alice and your mom. They'd mentioned going into town for a bit to finish up plans for the party tomorrow night, and I need to pick up my dress from Laurent," I told him, not quite happy with him but not exactly in the mood to argue. He had his way of dealing with what Emmett had said after I told him, and now I had to have my time to deal with the way he reacted. I just needed...time to make sure I kept from saying something I'd regret, because the way he'd reacted had hurt. I'd understand an hour, two hours, or even three, but he had left me alone for nearly six hours without a word to me before I'd fallen asleep - I don't even know how much longer it'd been after that that he had returned to me - and that...well, that had hurt._

"_Love, what..."_

_He gripped my hand as I tried to remove myself from the bed, but I carefully removed it from his grasp._

"_I'll be back later, Edward."_

_I grabbed some clothes from my suitcase as Amabel circled my legs, batting at my bare feet with her bare paws. I briefly wondered where my sweet kitten had been yesterday, when I would have been so much happier with her curled up against my side._

_Once the clothes were in my hand, I remembered to take my white cane with me as well, not hearing one more peep from Edward as I made my way down to Alice's room. The only reason I even knew he was still in the room as I left was because of his uneven breathing, giving away his own upset feelings._

Alice had been rather confused when I'd shown up to her door, not even ready for the day. She'd inquired about it, and I'd told her the very basics. She'd seemed to understand very well, and had gladly helped me get ready, even changing my choice in clothes for a far more stylish outfit she owned. I hadn't thought much about what I'd been grabbing from my bag, and I'd already worn my emergency wear earlier on. Esme had been happy to know I was joining them, and the three of us got into one of the many cars the Cullens owned.

**Edward's POV**

_I watched as Bella walked away from the room, not likely the emotionless tone in her voice, the one I knew she used like a mask, needing to hide her hurt._

_We'd made love from early on in the morning until around noon, before we'd finally settled in to cuddle, skin to skin, yesterday. We'd talked for a bit, and after some begging I'd managed to extract what'd had her so upset back at the hospital once she'd known I was okay. She'd admitted the things Emmett had said to her, and of course I'd been absolutely furious with him. How could I not have been? I'd marched out of the room in a blind rage, the words he spoke and her pained voice playing through my head like a song on repeat._

_I'd phoned him, yelled at him, and told him to make things right before abruptly hanging up on him and leaving to calm myself with the one activity that seemed to relax me without doing any damage to anyone or anything._

_Of course, it'd taken quite a long time before I'd chilled out enough to return to my room, and then at that point, words and melodies had once again attacked my head. So I'd marched into my music with a purpose and sat down with blank staff paper, a pen, and my instruments. I'd been absorbed, and I guess I'd let quite sometime pass before Mom had come into the music room with two plates of dinner._

"_Hungry?" she'd asked. She'd turned to the couch, seen it was empty, and then turned to me in confusion. "Bella's not in here with you?"_

_I'd been so incredibly startled that it was even late enough for dinner, that at first I hadn't even registered she'd spoken until she'd asked me again where Bella was._

_I'd asked her the time, and she'd told me it was after 10._

"_And Bella hasn't eaten either?" I'd questioned._

"_Why, no, she hasn't been down all afternoon. I'd assumed the two of you were together..." she'd trailed off._

_I'd jumped from my place, thanking my mother for dinner and taking both plates from her. I'd been almost out the door when I'd turned back and pecked Mom on the cheek in thanks. _

_I'd then rushed up to my room, where Bella had just been laying there on the bed, fast asleep, my Maroon 5 CD playing quietly from the stereo. Even in her sleep, her face had been contorted in pain and tears had rolled steadily down her cheeks. Torn, I'd hesitated a moment before running downstairs and setting the untouched plates on the counter. Seeing Bella's face like that...well, I hadn't been hungry any longer._

_She'd looked so lonely, too, twisted up in the sheets. I'd looked around and spotted little Bel snoring her soft kitty snore in my open suitcase on the floor. I hadn't bothered to move her, because I'd tried that before and that had end with scratches all along my wrist. Instead, I'd shut off the stereo and walked over to the bed, climbing in and molding my body around Bella's._

_She'd whimpered, and I'd tried to soothe her, immediately feeling immense amounts of guilt, because I'd no doubt that the ten hours I'd left her alone to wallow in her pain while I'd only been angry had hurt equally as much as Emmett's words._

_So when I'd woken this morning, I'd tried to wake her sweetly. I'd wanted to talk, but she'd pushed me away, brushed me off and told me that she was going to spend the morning with Alice and Mom. And while I'd want nothing more than for her to just be one of the Cullen girls, it had hurt the way she'd dismissed me and left me._

_And so now I sat here, feeling probably some degree of what she had felt for all those hours I'd disappeared on her for. At least I knew where she'd be. I supposed she had no idea where I'd been at all. I was sure that stung all the more._

_I groaned and ran a hand through my hair, messing it more thoroughly than it already surely was._

_Amabel walked onto my chest, strange colored fur all fluffy. She rubbed her head against my chin._

_I rubbed her head. "My sweet little Bel," I cooed at her sadly. "If only you'd cuddled up with Bella last night. She needed you."_

_Bel let out an irritated little meow at my words, turned so that her butt was in my face, her tail up, and then jumped off my chest and onto the floor. Her sharp little claws had dug into my skin through my shirt when she jumped, and I rubbed the spots on my chest, wincing._

"_I love you, too, little thing."_

The past few days hadn't been all that easy, if I was being honest.

"_They've already left, an hour ago actually. You didn't know?" Jasper seemed incredulous._

"_I guess I just thought Bella would have come to say goodbye before going," I answered with a nonchalant shrug, even inside all I could think was, _Ouch_._

"_What'd you do now, brother?" Jasper asked me._

_And I reluctantly admitted my mistakes yesterday, and he laughed at me._

"_Oh, man, you never leave your girl when she's hurting like that. I don't know what was said, but when I talked to Rose and Emmett the other night, I knew it was bad. I mean, Emmett was like dead man walking or something."_

_I groaned. "You don't know the half of it. I'm such a mother fucking ass."_

"_As inappropriate as your language is, son, I'm inclined to agree." I winced, turning to see Dad walk in with his newspaper under his one arm, a hospital case folder in his hands._

"_Yeah..."_

"_She came down the stairs just a few minutes after you went into the Alley Room, tripped at the very bottom and banged up her knees pretty well, too."_

"_What?!" I exclaimed. She'd hurt herself physically on top of it all? I internally rolled my eyes at myself. She hit her knees on the floor. It may hurt like a bitch, but it was nothing to get too upset about._

"_She's fine...physically, at least. She seemed fine once I explained to her that you were just blowing off steam, and then asked me to take her back upstairs. I'd assumed after you left the Alley Room that you'd go back up to her. I hadn't realized until your mother came to our bedroom after dropping a late dinner off to you in the music room that you hadn't, in fact, gone back to Bella in all that time."_

_I gave myself one of those V8 head slap thingies, and then decided to give myself a few more just for good measure, all the while reciting, _Fuck up, fuck up, fuck up_, in my head._

Yeah, just a few hard days. After that conversation, I'd retreated to the music room, working on a melancholy tune and the lyrics of loneliness, hurt, and solitude, waiting on Bella's return.

**Bella's POV**

_I walked with one hand in Alice's, the other holding my white cane, sweeping it before me to keep myself from dying. Not that right now I didn't feel like doing exactly that._

_Esme was chatting, distracting me from my feelings. I honestly didn't know what to feel anymore._

_I knew, deep deep DEEP down inside that Emmett hadn't meant a word he said, because I knew Emmett and that it just wasn't him, but that didn't mean what he said hadn't cut through my thin skin._

_And I knew Edward hadn't meant to hurt me, to the very core of my heart I knew, but that knowledge did not veil me from the hurt it still caused. That I had waited hours for him to calm and return to me, because I had wanted to even just talk or cuddle...and maybe it was selfish that I wanted to talk to him about the things Emmett had said instead of letting him go do his own thing...but that he hadn't even been back before I'd fallen asleep..._

_My stomach grumbled, a loud sound breaking both me from my thoughts and Esme from her babble._

"_Hungry, dear?" she asked._

_I nodded, and Alice giggled at my stomach making its state of emptiness known to the world._

"_There's a coffee shop around here that I really do love. I was hoping we could stop there for brunch, but I suppose it's better we stop now for breakfast before setting out on the town, don't you?"_

_I smiled. "Sounds lovely, Esme."_

We'd had a lovely breakfast, just the three of us, and I'd felt like I was one of them. A Cullen.

We'd met with four crazy women, all of them having had some part in the huge party being planned for New Year's Eve. All of them had been falling over themselves, trying to please Esme. It'd been comical, really.

And then we'd gone to see Laurent, and bless that man, I loved him so.

"_Isabella! Ma bichette!" The comforting arms of my friend wrapped around me. In my ear, he whispered to me in French, telling me I didn't look so well._

_In reply, I whispered, "Trouble in paradise, mon lapin."_

_He nodded, wrapping an arm around my shoulders before turning to Alice and Esme. "I am very happy to have so many beautiful ladies in my studio all at once. Please, be comfortable, while I show mon ami her fabulous dress!"_

"_We will, Laurent! Do you mind if I check out some of your designs in that books?" Alice chirped. Such a perky little thing._

"_Of course, of course. You are free to look at anything. Any friend of Isabella's is mon ami as well."_

_I could tell he was grinning his stupid grin as he spoke, and I could hear the pitter patter of Alice's little feet on her marble floors as she did her happy dance. The two of them would someday be besties, I could tell._

"_Now, sweet girl, come into the back with me. I must let you feel up my brilliance!" Laurent led me toward what I knew was the back of his studio._

_I gasped in mock offense. "Laurent! How could you assume I would engage in such scandalous activities with you! I'm appalled! You at least have to buy me dinner first!"_

_He chuckled, a deep, rich sound which matched his beautiful voice. It was a shame Laurent was gay. I knew so many women in this world would die to have a man as amazing as him. His voice and accent alone won over and broke so many hearts._

"_Oh, ma bichette, you do amuse me."_

_Finally, I felt a sofa hit the back of my knees and so I sat. It was leather and rather comfortable, surprisingly. The cushion beside dipped under Laurent's weight, creaking as he sat back._

"_Now, tell ol' Laurent about all of your troubles."_

_I contemplated making some smart ass comment about how the therapist should be sitting in his own chair, but decided instead to just spill my guts about all of it. I could feel tears slip down my face as I continued to speak._

"_Oh, ma petit belle," he cooed, hugging me to him. "You know Emmett meant nothing he said, yes? It was nothing more than fear. Fear and that hunk of gorgeous man-meat do not mix."_

_I scrunched my face up, hesitating for just a moment before I answered. "I know that, I really do. And by the way, EW!"_

"_What? It is only the truth," he protested, shrugging._

_I laughed. "God, you are so flaming GAY!" I exclaimed, giving him a light hearted shove._

_He laughed in return. "Thank you."_

_We sat in silence for a while, before he chose to speak up again._

"_And your...what was it you called him? Oh yes, I remember... your moitié, what do believe you will do about him?"_

_I laid my head on his shoulder. "Talk? I'm hurt, and I'm sure that the way I shrugged him off this morning hurt him, and I think, you know, we just need to sit down and chat. Right? I mean, he was too upset to talk yesterday, and I was too hurt to talk today, so we just have to talk eventually."_

"_Think about what you wish to say to the boy before you go speak with him. It may help, if you gather all of your thoughts before you jump into the discussion."_

_I nodded. "That's a good idea."_

"_Why, of course it is, ma bichette! It was my own thought, after all!" I shook my head at him. "Now, shall we let you try on my newest master piece?"_

I'd tried on the most fabulous dress ever, and Alice and Esme had told me I looked stunning. A little more put together, I'd left his studio with a greatly improved mood consuming me. Still, I'd been caught in thought the rest of our excursion (Alice managed to get me killer heels while I was distracted, which she had determined I would wear with my dress) and most of the drive home. Alice and Esme had decided we would have a girls' night, as Carlisle had been forced to work a night shift and Esme would otherwise be all alone for the night.

I'd stayed up long past Esme and Alice, just putting my thoughts together for the impending conversation with the man I loved. When I'd woken the next morning, I'd carefully made my way to the kitchen with no one but my white cane to lead me through the hallways. I'd felt so accomplished when I'd achieved the small feat without getting myself lost or injured.

"_Are you going to talk to him soon?"_

_Jasper's voice startled me when I entered the kitchen, and I stumbled slightly before righting myself._

"_I was planning on it," I answered. "Do you know where exactly he is?"_

_I heard his chair scrape across the floor as he pushed himself back from the table, and then he set a hand at my lower back. "Music room. He locked himself up in there at around 2 this morning and hasn't emerged yet."_

_I nodded, and it wasn't long before I could hear the strings of the piano resonating through the halls._

"_Thanks Jasper, I can take it from here."_

_I listened to his footsteps receded before taking a breath and opening the door._

_As I swung the door open as quietly as possible, the music swelled into a heartbreaking melody and Edward's velvet voice washed over my ears._

While I'm wide awake  
She's no trouble sleeping  
Cuz when a heart breaks  
No it don't break even.

What am I supposed to do  
When the best part of me was always you  
And what am I supposed to say  
When I'm all choked up that you're okay  
And I'm falling to pieces  
Yeah I'm falling to pieces

_I couldn't take the sadness and longing in his voice. The pain wrapped around me and pulled the tears down my cheeks. My lips quivered as the melancholy beauty drew me further into the music room with muted, measured steps._

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathin'

Just praying to a god that I don't believe in

_I fell apart then. I dropped to my knees and a sob ripped from my chest. Immediately, all the sound around me stopped, and arms came around me. And that velvet voice was a whisper in my ear of love and reassurance, promises and desperate begging. I answered every confession of love, repeated every reassurance, returned every promise, and even begged a little, too._

_And his strong arms lifted me onto the piano, and he played my body like he did the beautiful instrument._

We'd talked after our love making, laying on the couch in the room, cuddled together. At some point, he'd been in the right mind enough to lock the door, and no one had bothered us the rest of the day while we worked everything out between us.

"OW!" I exclaimed, in irritation.

"Don't move your head," Alice scolded, pulled the brush through my tangled mess I was considering hair for the day.

"Don't be so vicious," I quipped.

Esme laughed. "Both of you girls need to relax."

I leaned back in the chair and let Alice continue her work on my hair while Esme hummed and read her magazine. My nails were drying from the manicure and pedicure she had given me earlier.

I giggled at some things the mother and daughter said to each other every so often. Their banter was endearing, and even I managed to get a few smart remarks in there as well.

It was funny, but it was one of the first times I really felt like a Cullen, like a part of their family, even if they had already considered me one of them long before this moment.


	40. Resolutions For A New Year

_as you all may or may not have noticed, we are getting ready to finish this puppy up. i have written every chapter now, including the epilogue. basically, this was probably the most important chapter to me since beginning this story and, well, it seems to have been long awaited by all of you as well. i put a lot of work into it, and while some things were just kind of glazed over, the most important parts were in there and expressed as i'd wanted them to be. so, after this chapter, there will be two more and an epilogue. if you have any questions at any point in time, ask them and i'll post one final chapter after the epilogue answering them if they aren't answered come the end of the story...well, if i even have an answer for them at all, that is. after the epilogue, i'll also put up this poem/monologue thing i wrote in english class based off of this bella from before she met edward, so you can see how she's changed throughout the story. anyway, i think i got a little off track from what i was originally attempting to say. this is the big one, and then the following two chapters will wrap up the story and the epilogue will put a final little cap on it. i'm working out a few different plot lines for a new story which i'll try to post come summer, but two stand out so i'll focus on those. i hope you all enjoy what i've written for the party/ball thing and, if you're curious, Alice's, Esme's, and Bella's dresses are on my website: **www(dot)freewebs(dot)com/myfanfictionpics**...don't forget to check me out on twitter and add me to your author alerts to be sure you receive something when i put up a new story. thanks for such a great journey to all of you, the wonderful comments and suggestions, those of you out there who have enjoyed reading, and well, just for letting me have this experience once again. i'm going to miss all of you once this is over and i hope you all join me again on another story._

xoxoJordiBrookexoxo

**Edward's POV**

"Stop tugging on your tux, son." I jumped, startled by the sound of Dad's voice. I turned to him, dropping my hands away from my jacket. I was just itching to run them through my hair, but I had actually managed to tame it for once, so I wasn't going to ruin it before the night even truly started. Guests were already here and the large party was in full swing. The women in my life were all still upstairs.

Finally, I spotted Alice and my mom at the top of the steps, guiding the most stunning mix of blue, ivory, and mahogany carefully down the marble staircase. Immediately, my father and I rushed to meet them at the landing. I grabbed Bella up in my arms, pressing a kiss to her forehead as I muttered my distracted greeting before stepping back to take in her gorgeousness.

She was dressed in a smooth satin halter dress, colored a dark shade of blue. It flowed along her flawless body, draping around her long legs and trailing just a bit on the floor behind her. The breasts of her halter dress were embellished elegantly with white-silver beading and stitching. Her creamy white skin was absolutely unblemished, sweet purity and beautiful innocence. Her glorious brown hair was a shimmering mahogany, styled in gentle curls and half pulled up into the back. A precious white-silver butterfly clip held the strands back, and I realized it was a family heirloom which Grandma had passed down to my mom many years ago. Bella wore no necklace, but she did wear simple diamond studs and the bracelets I had gotten for her for Christmas.

She was the epitome of angelic perfection.

I kissed her forehead again, murmuring to her sweetly and lovingly about how amazing she looked this evening, and I may have even mention that I wanted to take her back to my room and removed the lovely dress she wore for a night of fun.

She giggled and grabbed the lapels of my jacket, leaning up to kiss my lips. It was then that I noticed for the first time that she was taller than she usually was. She wore a pair of white-silver heels, hidden beneath her dress. I had to lift the hem to see them, and then had to swallow back the lump in my throat and the lust rising in my body.

"Bella," I purred in her ear. She laughed and pressed her hands on my chest.

I also noticed that tonight, her beautiful chocolate eyes were not hidden by her glasses. She'd left them uncovered, so all the world might bask in their delicious depths.

I pecked her nose lovingly, knowing how huge of a step this was for her.

I looked past her to Alice, who had slicked her black hair back against her head. She was wearing a beautiful purple strapless gown. The gown had a black just below her hips, and the way it was layered and scrunched was just so uniquely Alice. Her engagement ring sparkled in the dimmed light of the party, and her jewelry was a perfect mix of subtle and flashy.

Mom was wearing an amazing gold gown, made of a material like Bella's. It came over only one shoulder and wrapped around her torso, before falling down around her legs. On her right hip, material draped down from some sort of pin or something, adding to the elegance. Her hair was styled up into a French twist and pinned with golden flowers, while she wore gold drop earrings that Dad had given to her for their 15th anniversary. She was just as young and beautiful as Bella and Alice tonight.

"Happy New Year's Eve," I told my sister and mom, and they smiled at me before shooing me away with my Bella.

I smiled at them widely before leading my girl down the steps and into the mix of nameless faces and familiar smiles.

I kept my hand firmly on her hip, my arm wrapped around her soft body as I guided her. We were stopped along the way by various friends of the family, asking me about college and inquiring about the beautiful woman on my arm. I could the envy on some of the younger women's faces that Bella was being presented as a Cullen, and on the younger men's faces because I was graced with the presence of such a stunning angel.

"Isabella! Ma petit belle! You look so stunning tonight!" I turned to see a dark skinned man, walking toward us. Aro Volturi - I suddenly found it very peculiar that I knew more than one Aro - was being dragged happily behind the man with the thick French accent, their hands locked together in an intimate way.

"Laurent! Mon loup! You're here!" She giggled and walked unsteadily toward the voice, my arm dropping from her waist. I immediately followed after her, wanting to meet Laurent. Bella had told me a bit about the man, and he seemed like quite a wonderful guy if he treated my Bella so well.

He finally reached her and wrapped her up in an awkward hug considered he had refused to release Aro's hand and I had gotten my arm back around her waist again.

"I see you are doing so much better, ma bichette." He pulled back a bit and tucked a loose tendril of hair behind her ear. "Yes, so much better."

She smiled. "I am."

My love placed her hand over mine on her waist and gave it a sweet squeeze. I squeeze her hip in reply. Laurent still seemed focused on her. "And your eyes, ma petit belle, those eyes are so warm and lovely, a delicious chocolate color. I could just eat them."

Bella immediately retorted, copying his accent, "But you will not. They are mine."

They both laughed, as though this were some inside that Aro and I were on the outside of, and Laurent took another step back and looked me up and down before nodding in what I hoped was approval.

"And this sexy man... he is your... moitié?" I blushed what was surely a deep scarlet while Bella leaned further into my hold.

"He is. Aren't I lucky?"

He gave this weird purr growl in a teasing manner. "So very lucky, mon cherie."

Bella glared jokingly. "Back off, mon ami. This gorgeous man-meat is all _mine_."

I continued to blush, so I leaned in to nuzzle Bella's neck, hoping to hide the tomato red color. "All yours, my love," I whispered in her ear, before standing more upright. "Come on, Aro. We should give these two a bit of privacy to chat, don't you think? I'd love to show you some of the new art we've acquired since you've last been here." Aro owned a large art gallery here in Chicago, as well as a few others in New York, LA, and Seattle. He had helped me find the artist who had made the touchable art I'd gotten my parents.

"That's a lovely idea, Edward. Shall we?" He held out his hand to me and winked, and I threw back my head in laughter as he swatted my shoulder.

I led him away, knowing he'd want to see exactly the piece which had been my parents' gift.

**Bella's POV**

"So everything has worked out?"

"Between Edward and I? Yes, everything has." I smiled at Laurent, and I knew he was grinning back at me.

He nudged me in the ribs with his elbow. "You, mon ami, have been holding out on me. That boy is _gooooooor-geous_," he said in a sing song voice.

I laughed at him. We began chatting with each other about just average stuff: How was school? How was business? The usual. We briefly discussed New Year's resolution, and Laurent laughingly told me his only resolution for the New Year was to get Aro Volturi into his bed after this party. I'd been about to tell him to be serious and think about my own resolutions, but unfortunately, the most painfully nasal, nails-on-chalkboard voice interrupted us.

"I know this must be the first time you've ever stepped foot in one of these elite parties, sweetie, but I'm afraid you've made a mistake in wearing that hideous dress. It's a black and white ball."

I pursed my lips, narrowing my eyes. I knew what it was like to look pissed. I'd never seen the expression, but I'd felt the face enough times to know how to copy it.

"I'm sorry, and who are you?" I asked, irritated.

She scoffed. "I'm Edward Cullen's girlfriend. And who are _you_?"

I felt a warm hand on my back. "She's my girlfriend," Edward answered her. I could feel a smug smile grow on my face.

"WHAT?!" the annoying voice all but shrieked. I put my hands up to my ears as I winced, quailing into Edward's side. He hugged me against him tightly, his body beginning to tense.

Mostly everyone had quieted down now, and I was sure they were all looking in our direction, watching the spectacle this woman was making.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND?! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!"

"Who is she?" I whispered in Edward's ear, trying desperately to get away from the ugly sounding voice.

He pulled me so that my front was pressed to his, massaging my lower back with his wonderful hands. "Bella, please stay calm, no matter what, okay? I love you, and only you. That woman is Tanya Denali, my ex, and she is about to make a huge scene."

I nodded. "I love you, too," was all I had to say in reply.

"Tanya," Edward spoke to her calmly. "This is my girlfriend, Isabella Swan."

"What is she wearing?!" Tanya protested.

"Um, I'm pretty sure it's called a dress, but I could be wrong," he retorted.

I giggled at his sarcastic tone, as did a few other people.

Most just remained silent, however, watching the fuck-tastic show.

I could feel Tanya's glare burning a hole into the back of my head. "No, really, Edward. Be serious. Blue! She's wearing blue! You never let _me _wear anything but black and white!" She actually punctuated her tantrum by stomping her foot like a four year old.

He hummed in response. "My mother wanted her to wear color with her and Alice. She is, after all, a Cullen in every way that truly matters. Right, my love?"

I lifted my head to look at him. "Of course, ma moitié," I agreed. I felt his lips press on mine softly, and everything melted away as I moved my hands from their place on his chest to the nape of his neck.

It wasn't until Edward pulled back from me just slightly that I heard the outraged screech and a clapping, 'aw'ing crowd.

Edward chuckled before pecking my lips once more.

As the night wore on, Edward introduced me to his grandparents and I instantly knew that Edward was very much like Ed, as his grandfather had insisted on me calling him. Ed was confined to a wheelchair, and pulled me down into his lap as Elizabeth, his grandmother, had laughed loudly at her husband. They were a sweet old couple, clearly still very deeply in love with each other.

It wasn't until later that everything became a mess again.

"Little sister!" Huge arms grabbed me up into a deathly bear hug.

I squirmed immediately, calling out for Edward. I heard a low growl as his hand pulled me away and toward the safe electricity that was my lover's embrace.

"Emmett," I greeted solemnly.

"Bells, can we talk, please?" I could hear the hurt in his voice, and I tightly grasped Edward's hand.

"Why don't we all go up to my room?" he offered. I nodded, and Edward carefully helped me up the steps while Emmett and another set of footsteps - Rosalie's - followed close behind.

When finally Edward's bedroom door closer, all four of us inside, I turned so I faced Emmett's direction. I heard Amabel's soft meow somewhere in the corner and mentally projected my hello to her before focusing on my brother.

"Does this have to happen now?" I asked.

Couldn't I enjoy tonight without anything more than Tanya blemishing the party?

"You look beautiful, Bells," Emmett whispered, tears in his voice. My face heated immediately, and I buried myself in Edward's embrace as I prepared to have a conversation I wasn't sure I was ready to have.

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry." I heard him shift, moving closer to me, until finally he was directly before me. His breathing moved, and I realized he was literally preparing to beg for forgiveness on his knees. "Bells, you have to forgive me. I was being stupid and foolish and I never meant a word. You're strong and amazing and you don't need me, but I need my little sister. I need you, and Rose needs you. And our baby is going to need his or her awesome Aunt Bella when Daddy is being stupid or Mommy is tired. I know it's no excuse, but I was tired, and everything was suddenly happening, and I was scared... You weren't answering your phone and I was freaking, and then you finally did and I just let the words pour out from my stupid mouth. But they were all FALSE! Not a word was TRUE! I promise." And for one of the first times in my life, I heard my big, strong brother, my rock, my anchor, my caretaker, and my monkey man, begin to cry.

I all but dropped to the floor in front of him and wiped the tears that streamed down his cheeks. Emmett didn't cry. That was just wrong.

"I didn't mean it. I didn't. Oh god! I'm so sorry!" he kept muttering while I put his head on my shoulder and hugged him. Tears silently fell down my cheeks, and I briefly wondered if the scarce amount of makeup Alice had applied earlier was waterproof.

I ran a hand in his hair as I suddenly registered his words.

"WHAT BABY?!" I all but screamed, jerking him back.

He laughed, a happy one. "Rosie is pregnant! We're gonna have a baby! My wife and I are gonna have a baby!" I laughed and hugged him, forgetting, for now, about the things he had said.

"A baby, and your wife! You two got married!" I laughed, squealing in excitement, not even able to be mad at him for not having me there when they married.

He laughed, squishing me against him. "I get to have my own family, Bells, and raise them right. I'm gonna have the most amazing little boy or girl, and he or she is gonna be just you and Rosie: smart and kind and loving, and all around perfect. And you have to be right there with me, because I won't be able to do it without you, Bella. I'm going to need you to support me, because I just...I can't. I know it's stupid, but I need my little sister!"

It was a long time before we could return to the party, and soon Edward and Rosalie joined Emmett and me on the ground. Not much talking got done, but that was alright for a little while. Because talking didn't need to get done just yet. I wasn't ready, really, to fully forgive my brother. It would take time, to rebuild that trust, but we'd be good someday, better than we were before.

However, as I said, it would take time.

Rose helped me clean my face up, and I held her hair back as her not-just-in-the-morning sickness attacked.

Then Edward swept me up and carried me down the stairs, cradling my squirming body close to him as I protested.

I heard some people murmuring about my blindness, but I stood strong against their whispers, even Tanya's.

"What did you ever see in her?" I asked, recalling the hideousness of her voice and the blackness of her soul.

We were dancing, now...well, Edward was, and I was standing carefully on his toes, precariously balanced.

He groaned. "God, I have no idea."

I giggled and laid my head on his firm chest.

**Edward's POV**

"Do you remember the first night we danced together?" I asked her.

She nodded against me, smiling softly. "It was a wonderful night."

_I guided her over to the dancer floor, her feet a little unsteady beneath her as she walked. Her scent, freesia and strawberries, filled me as she leaned into me. We walked – well, she stumbled a little – into the crowd of bodies toward the center where I'd spotted the other four who had joined us tonight._

_Emmett and Rose smiled when we came upon them. "Did you need something, honey?" Rose asked Bella, causing the brown haired beauty to frown._

_"No, thanks. Edward and I came out here to dance."_

_"Oh!" came Rose's surprised response. I guess Bella wasn't lying when she said she didn't dance._

_My sister hip checked me. "Whaddup, big brother?" I rolled my eyes. I was older by all of ten minutes._

_"Nothing much, little sister."_

_She went back to grinding on her boyfriend, and so I turned to look at Bella, her lips pursed. She was positively stunning, even in the dark lighting of the club. Her hair shimmered in the strobe lights and her lips were such a luscious, inviting pink. I wanted to kiss her. But even more, I wanted to see those beautiful brown eyes one more time._

_"I've never really done this before," she admitted, embarrassed._

_I chuckled. "It's easy, really." Smirking, I simply started moving back and forth with the music, closing my eyes, though I, belatedly, knew she couldn't see my actions. "Just let the music take control," I said into her ear, taking her hands in mine and placing one on each of my shoulders._

_The blue sweater dress she wore gave her skin this sort of glow that was making me melt as I kept my hands over top of hers on my shoulders. I watched as she began moving her hips back and forth uncertainly. Chuckling, I placed my hands on her waist, not wanting to do so before incase it made her uncomfortable, and began guiding her hips from one side to the other, wishing I could close the large distance between us and hold her against me, moving her with me._

_She smiled at me. "You were right. This is kind of fun," she told me._

_I grinned back at her, though I quickly realized she couldn't see it. "I told you so," I gloated._

_She laughed. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."_

_We danced for a while. Every second I was wishing I could move her closer, but was nervous about her response. Suddenly, she was pushed up against me._

_"Oof!" I grabbed her more firmly than I'd had her before, holding her tightly. "Sorry," she said sheepishly. "I got shoved."_

_I chuckled as she straightened up, but this time I held her much closer. "Well, we don't want that happening again now do we?" We weren't grinding or dancing in a particularly provocative way—though anything Bella did was provocative if you asked me—and it was just simple and comfortable, moving with the beat of the music._

"We've come a long way since then," Bella mused, lost in her memories.

I smiled, pressing a kiss into her silky hair as I took in the encompassing smell of strawberries, a scent which was all Bella.

"We certainly have."

**Bella's POV**

We had come so far since we first met. _I'd_ come so far, become so much more. I snuggled closer to Edward, continuing to enjoy being in his arms.

"Ten!"

Edward tightened his arms around me.

"Nine!"

I stepped off of his toes.

"Eight!"

I moved my body closer to his, if that was even possible.

"Seven!"

He dipped his head down.

"Six!"

I smiled as his sweet breath washed over my face.

"Five!"

His nose nuzzled mine.

"Four!"

I wound my fingers into his hair.

"Three!"

I inhaled his scent deeply, practically tasting it on my tongue.

"Two!"

He took in a deep breath of his own.

"One!"

"You're beautiful, my love," Edward whispered as choruses of 'Happy New Year' rang out around us and his lips descended upon mine. Our lips moved in a perfectly choreographed dance, sparks rippling beneath my skin as his love and passion was exchanged for mine through the simple gesture.

And it was in that moment that New Year's resolutions came back into my mind. I knew then, at that very second, what mine would be.

I would go to see my doctor, I would at least try to get that surgery.

For Emmett and Rosalie, for Mom and Dad, for my other friends and family, for Carly and Brian, for any other unborn children who might be floating around somewhere in my future...

For Edward, the man I loved with all my heart, who was my soul, my salvation, my everything, who I couldn't live my life without, who deserved some semblance of normalcy just because he was so capable of loving me and willing to give that up as a result, who would do anything for me in a heartbeat just to see me smile, who was my light...

The man who was sincerely beautiful like no other man could be. And he truly was. Maybe I couldn't see whether he was or wasn't physically, but that had never mattered to me. He possessed such a beautiful mind, a beautiful heart, and a beautiful soul. And in that way, in my eyes, he was beautiful.

Because beauty is, after all, in the eye of the beholder.

But most importantly, I would try for _me_. Because I finally, finally_, finally _felt like I deserved to really _see _the beauty which exists in the world. Even though I'd always known it was there, I wanted to be able to experience all of those incredible sights first hand and see the beauty of it all. And I wanted to see the beautiful angel who'd shown me that _I_ was beautiful too.


	41. Holding My Breath

_So, as you can see, we've reached the point where I am just wrapping this story up. The last chapter was the climax of the story, as Bella has finally realized she is worth it and so on. We're about to skip ahead to June 20th, and the last chapter, if you all recall, was New Year's Eve/Day. This chapter moves us from point A to point B. I've heard the easiest way to complete the journey between two points is by a straight line, but that just doesn't work in writing. No, us authors talk in circles and repeat, going round and round until finally we've decided it's time to just get on with it. This chapter will basically sum up six months of their lives and then a week, all in about 3,000 words, so try to stick with me. Also, I'm sure some of you will find yourselves annoyed with Bella pertaining to one particular issue, but it was always going to be this way, from the very beginning. I debated between two possible endings, one which may have found you sad and disappointed but intrigued, and another which would most certainly be considered HEA. I chose HEA, simply because it had always been my intention to write it as such, but I've considered posting an alternate ending, the other choice, if that would please you. Just let me know. Anyway, enjoy the story, and, for those of you who are as lucky as I currently am, the warm weather as well. The sun shone beautifully all day long, and while it was chilly in the shade, the sunlight was warm and just gave me this bright feeling. Spring is finally here and with that is coming new inspiration and terrible allergies._

_xoxoJordiBrookexoxo_

**Edward's POV**

It'd been a long time since New Year's Day, and life had seemed to calm down.

Emmett and Bella slowly worked out their issues together. Their weekly meetings at the gym, where the four us got together and played beep ball or soccer, became sort of therapeutic. They'd talk, and Bella would show more and more of her general independence. The transfer of her rare dependence was very evidently lying in my hands. Soon, Rose was no longer assisting in their games, instead cheering on the side lines while Emmett and I did more of the work with her. Slowly but surely, they rebuilt that trust and the unique relationship the two shared. It would never be the same as it was, but it seemed that it was a good thing. They were now more just siblings, instead of caretaker and charge.

The months following the party had allowed Bella and I to grow closer. Our relationship just continued to blossom, despite the stresses of school and the quickly narrowing amounts of time we had to spend together. Each and every day, she seemed to more fully capture my heart, and in turn gave me full possession of her own. Our love grew more each morning I woke with her in my arms and evening I fell asleep with her warm body molded to mine.

Bella's mom never seemed to accept us or make contact, until finally one day she showed up on my girl's door step.

_I growled against Bella's lips as I continued to lead her backward to where we both knew her door was._

_She giggled and tugged hard on my hair._

_We both snapped apart when we heard an appalled gasp, and I saw a woman, very thin and pale, standing by Bella's door. She had gold colored hair and blue-green eyes, the whites turned a pinkish shade with her blood vessels a pure red. She wasn't very tall, but her lack of weight made her seem to be. Her clothes were tightly fitted, but still highly fashionable, and while her makeup was well done, I could smell her perfume from where I stood, a good distance away._

"_Mom?" Bella asked after deeply inhaling the air around her, and I tensed immediately. This had not been the impression I'd been intending to make when I first met her mother. We'd already gotten off on the wrong foot._

"_Isabella. It's so good to finally see you, sweetheart," Renee answered, not sounding at all happy at the moment as her words would have implied._

"_I want you to meet my boyfriend, Edward Cullen," Bella introduced me. "Edward, this is my mom, Renee."_

_I smiled my crooked smile and held my hand out for her, but she brushed it away with a disgusted attitude and locked her eyes on my other arm, which was still around Bella's waist and was rubbing her side through her shirt._

"_I'd like to be with my daughter alone for a while, if you wouldn't mind." It was really more a demand that I leave, and so I kissed Bella's temple, whispered to her that I loved her and I would be in my apartment, and then turned away to allow my girl some time with her mother._

_I did some homework for a while, as it was about mid-April at this point in time and we were well into our classes once again, and listened to my iPod. With music playing in my ears, I didn't hear the yelling going on directly below me._

_But it wasn't long before Bella was standing in my doorway, tears streaming down her face and Amabel huddled in her arms. She told me that her mother didn't approve, and no matter how much Bella had begged, Renee had decided it was either lose me or lose her._

_Bella had chosen me._

It was a rough night, and a rough week following, but we'd survived. Renee hadn't wanted Bella to end up like Emmett and Rose, young, married, and pregnant. Her mistakes had already been repeated once. They didn't need to be made again.

Bella had made sure I knew one thing: whatever happened between us would never, ever be a mistake.

I'd fallen even more in love with her that night, to a greater degree than I had in the nights before.

We went to see Charlie a few weeks later, Emmett and Rosalie wanting to have a small party to announce the baby's gender. They were having a little girl. Charlie and Joe clapped Emmett on the back and wished him the best of luck, both of them laughing all the while. Aunt Bella cooed at Rose's stomach, promising to be her favorite person in the whole entire world, and I began to imagine Carly and Bella's own protruding stomach once again.

That weekend I asked Charlie for his blessing. I hadn't wanted to ask over the phone, nor had I been able to get out to see him sooner. I'd bought the ring a few weeks after getting back from Chicago, and I knew that whenever I finally chose to put it on her finger, it would be just perfect for her.

"_Just...just take care of her, son. She's my little girl. Make sure you all are coming out to visit every so often, too. Sue loved you guys, and she can't wait to spend more time with Bella. I mean, they really hit it off. It's just so good to see my girls together, and I'd hate to gain Sue, only to lose Bella soon after."_

_I chuckled, putting my hand on Charlie's shoulder. He was a little choked up, and so he took a deep breath to keep his emotions at bay._

"_I won't let anything happen to your little girl, Charlie, I promise. And we'll try to make it out here as often as possible." I did my best to assure him that Bella was still as much his as she was mine, and that the only difference was that I would be promising her my life was hers for as long as she'd have me._

_He smiled at me, genuinely, and thanked me. He wished me good luck for whenever I did pop the question._

"_Welcome to the family, son."_

_I grinned stupidly, called him Dad jokingly, and then went up to Bella's tiny bed for one of the greatest night's sleeps I've ever had._

I was almost jealous of the way my parents and Bella grew closer as well. It was incredible to witness, to listen to their conversations and see the way her face lit up when they talked. It was incredible to me, that she so readily became a part of my family and that my family so readily adopted her.

She talked more with Carlisle than my mom, though, I noticed. And after a while she was talking to them both on her own phone instead of simply when they called me on mine. Still, I loved how important my parents had become to her.

A month ago, we'd said a teary goodbye to each other, and it'd been hard to separate from her. But neither of us had our apartments any longer, because our leases were up, and we both had long ago made plans to spend the summer with our families. Emmett and Rosalie had chosen to stay in Seattle, however, as their doctor was there. They each dipped into their trust funds and bought a small home with three bedrooms, two and a half baths, and a cute little back yard. Alice and Jasper were going to New York, because Alice had been accepted to FIT belatedly and Jasper decided to transfer to Columbia where he would be studying history. They wanted to get themselves started early out there, so they'd left right away. Bella had gone back to Forks with her dad and Sue, no ring on her finger, and I had gone back to Chicago, her ring heavy in my pocket.

It was a long month, without her. Hours of phone calls throughout the day, every day we were apart, were the only thing that kept me sane up until now. Today was mine and Alice's 19th birthday, though. I'd never celebrated a birthday without my twin, and now not only did I have to do that, but I was also doing so without my heart.

But I plastered a smile on my face, made sure my phone was securely tucked into my pocket, and walked down the stairs to the wonderful homemade breakfast Mom had promised me this morning while Dad was at the hospital.

**Bella's POV**

My ears were ringing, but it was a small price to pay as my dad guided me through the airport. I wasn't wearing my glasses out in public anymore at all. I'd decided, since the party, that I didn't want them to be my security blanket anymore.

Now, over six months later, here I was, back in Chicago.

I'd struggled to smile everyday without being near Edward even once. It was physically debilitating to be so far from him. I tried my best to put on a show for Charlie, Sue, Emmett, and Rose when they were around, but when I was alone in my room at night, it hit me so hard. I was so used to his warm body wrapping securely around mine as we fell asleep together.

I'd been waiting for this week to come, and it'd been difficult not to exclaim to Edward that I'd be seeing him soon every time he admitted he was struggling just as much as I with our separation. But I wanted so badly to surprise.

Carlisle, a man who was so much my second father and who had aided me so greatly in my 'devious' plans, met Charlie and me by the luggage carousel. Most of my belongings had already been mailed and would arrive within the next few days, but I had a small bag of items which would get me through the next few days and Charlie had a small bag of his own belongings for the next week and a half.

Carlisle drove us to the house, chatting happily with me about Doctor Fuller, who he had known since his residency and who was a very, very talented doctor. I took a shuddering breath as Carlisle parked his Mercedes and helped me out of the car.

Chicago's warm weather was an entirely different experience when compared to its harsh winter. I smiled and pulled my hair up into a pony tail before sweeping my cane out in front of me and making my way to the front of the house, though not without Charlie hovering anxiously. I could hear his awe when he first saw the Cullen Mansion, and had to laugh. Even without seeing it, I knew it was incredible.

Amabel was keeping Sue company, and I briefly thought about how much I was going to miss her, but the kitten just couldn't be around right now, and Sue seemed to fall in love with the little fur ball. It all would work out, though Charlie didn't really appear to be a cat person.

I walked into the house, and Carlisle soon followed quickly behind me.

"Edward!" he called out.

"Yeah?!" Edward vociferated in return. I could already hear his steady footfalls as he jogged out to the front hall of their mansion.

"I have a surprise for you, son," Carlisle replied.

I knew the very moment Edward came around the corner and saw me standing there, because his steps immediately faltered.

I grinned. "Happy birthday, ma moitié."

Our reunion was better than I had expected it would be, and Charlie reluctantly allowed Edward to sweep me away to his bedroom. My dad wasn't stupid; he knew what would be happening next.

After we'd made love for over an hour, Edward and I cuddled up in his bed. He stroked my hair while I laid my head on his chest and I sighed, knowing now was the time to tell him.

"Edward, I'm getting the surgery."

He stopped moving.

We'd discussed it quite often since Chicago. He always told me over and over that it didn't matter to him; I was already perfect. What I'd never really told him was that it was a definitive thing in my mind. That was often mine and Carlisle's conversations' focal point. He and my doctor had spoken and chosen together, very selectively, a doctor out in Chicago who would perform the surgery once we'd been sure I was a candidate. We'd planned it all out carefully, and soon I found I wanted at least do this planning part on my own. It was stupid, I know, but I was doing this for me, and I wanted to make the plans so that they were exactly how _I _wanted them.

"You're what?"

"I'm getting the surgery." I pushed myself up so that I was hovering above him. "If I'm really lucky, within a week I'll be able to see your crooked smile, your emerald green eyes, and your wild bronze hair." I smiled at him, hoping he wouldn't be mad.

There was a long moment where he didn't say anything. I reached my hand out and brush my fingers over his lips. There was a small smile there, but his face was tight. He was thinking this over. That wasn't a bad thing. I stroked his face and waited for him to be ready to talk.

"Why haven't you said anything before?" he finally inquired.

I continued to stroke his cheek as I explained to him my need for this to be about what I wanted and not what anyone else did.

He hummed. "Okay. I wish you would have included me, though, my love."

I kissed his forehead. "I wish I had too, but it doesn't matter, not now. I'm here with you, and someday I might be able to see you. Can it get any better?"

He laughed and pulled me into his chest. "I know it can."

He ravaged me for a while longer before we went to join Esme, Carlisle, and Charlie.

We all discussed how everything would be after my surgery. Esme had already agreed to really help me relearn the world if it was successful. I would be staying here in Chicago for the summer, near the new eye doctors who would be working with me every step of the way from here on out. It wouldn't be easy, and I was still scared shitless, but at least I was giving myself a chance to live, a chance I'd always denied myself before.

I tried not to think about the possibility that the surgery might fail. I had to stay positive, because I feared it would otherwise be a self-fulfilling prophecy. The hope was overwhelming, but so were the chances that I really would spend the rest of my life never seeing the beauty in the world that everyone claimed I missed out on. The fear of such failure nearly crushed all hopes I had, but I fought it back and locked it away in a small box in my mind. I had to believe it would work, because I had no idea where I would go from there. In the past six months, I'd found I wanted this more and more. It had to work. It just had to.

Soon, we were talking about Bailey Madison Swan, the newest addition to the the family. My precious niece was born only two and a half weeks ago, and Emmett and Rose were practically dead already with all her sleepless nights. Let me tell you, I was loving that little thing, but she was a nasty little girl 24/7. Joe and Annie said she got it from Rosalie.

I grew more anxious as the days went by and soon enough, I was laying in a hospital bed, drugs being slowly pumped into my system.

I felt Edward's lips on mine, and heard him say, "I love you, Bella. When all of this is over, promise you'll marry me."

I yawned. "Okay."

And then they wheeled me away.

**~*~**

I was pretty sure Edward didn't think I remembered his semi-proposal, as he didn't mention it at all after I was out of surgery and awoke, although I was not surprised either. I was pretty sure he hadn't even thought I was really awake when he'd said anything in the first place.

He fawned over me whenever I was awake, and it wasn't until Charlie and Carlisle dragged him away that he left the side of my bed.

The following day, Doctor Fuller walked into the room, his presence kind of comforting. He was an older man, had a few years or a decade on Carlisle for sure. But his voice was warm and welcoming, and his hands were soft but well used. I smiled at him as he asked me how I was doing.

"I'm doing pretty well, I think."

I could tell my hand was shaking. I could have sworn my entire body was vibrating. This was it, the moment of truth.

He slowly removed my bandages, and I kept my eyes closed tightly. Edward was tightly grasping my hand, and I squeezed it tightly in return as the last bandage left my skin.

"I'm going to turn the lights down so they aren't too harsh, alright?"

"Okay."

I bit my lip. My legs were definitely bouncing, and my _family_ all chuckled nervously in response.

"Ready?"

"Nope. Let's do this," I quipped, sitting up straighter.

"Alright, Bella, I want you to open your eyes now, very slowly okay?"

Holding my breath, I did as I was told.

And then the air rushed out of my body in one huge gust.


	42. Beautiful

_a/n: so i've gotten a few ppl who want to murder me after the last update, and so i posted a day early just for you all. put away the knives and medieval torture devices and...okay, i don't even know what the hell THAT is *points at said thing* but it looks dangerous so set it down, real slow-like, okay good. now no sudden movements..._

_okay, im done being a fucktard, well, not really, but i am at least for now. so ik a couple ppl made comments about how it seems like i skipped a lot but really, the climax of the story was the very end of the new years eve chapter. i would have ended it there, but those knives and medieval torture devices and...HEY! I thought i told you to set that down!...would have most definitely been put to use otherwise. this story wasn't about bella becoming a sighted person. it was about the journey of a girl who didnt know whether she was a girl with insecurities and a lack of self-worth, not really believing she belonged or that she was smart or incredible, following her through finding love and realizing that she was worthy of so much, and that she deserved to really truly appreciate the beauty of the world around that she'd so unfortunately never had the chance to experience in her life. so this is all just a really extended epilogue, to be honest._

_thanks for reading_

_xoxojordibrookexoxo_

_ps. there's something very very important at the end of the chapter of which you will find a picture on my webpage :)_

**Bella's POV**

I didn't know what I was seeing, but that didn't matter because I was _really seeing_.

Everything was so quiet. No one did anything but breathe as I really looked around for the first time ever. My eyes bounced from one area to another, trying to follow certain sounds like I often had done in the past years. I couldn't have told you what was there - I had absolutely no idea - but I liked these things, whatever they were.

Every so often, I noticed the blackness that I was accustomed to, as it was familiar, and that's when I really began to focus on how different everything was. I could tell you what wasn't black, but that was it.

After a while, I tried to really focus on the things I could maybe know for sure were mine. I did my best to lock my gaze where I knew my hands were curled in my lap. I still didn't know what I was looking at, but I tried my hardest to figure out what they were.

I lifted my hands, and noticed a difference in what I was seeing.

_Is that what things looked like when they move? Oh my god! Are those my hands? Is that what they look like?!_

I moved my right hand, curling it into a fist, and watched in fascination as what I was seeing changed again. I continued to move my right hand, turning it in various ways and wiggling my fingers. I did the same with my left, testing out everything I saw.

I couldn't contain the insane, overwhelming excitement that filled me as I realized I was seeing my hands. My hands! I was _seeing_ my hands!

I squealed in delight, a beautiful sound that bounced off the walls and momentarily distracted me.

"I can see," I whispered, still looking at my lap as my smile grew across my face. "I can see! _Oh my god! I can actually fucking SEE_!" I laughed happily, and heard Edward's own relieved chuckle as whatever tension had overcome the room fell away. My vision changed as I felt Edward's hand wrap around my own. "Oooooo," I hummed, gripping onto his hand and turning it palm up.

This was all so...so incredible!

I ignored everything around me as I moved my right hand all around his, tracing the various planes and lines I knew only by touch. It was just...wow.

I was sure my family all found my strange behavior amusing, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

I tried to equate different things I already knew about his hand and mine, hoping it'd help me understand more about what I was seeing, but I wasn't really doing an better than knowing that what I saw was his talented hand wrapped around mine.

I giggled as I turned toward my Edward and tugged on his hand. I didn't know what part of what I saw was him, but that didn't matter. I was quick to understand that the thing moving in my line of vision was him, but that was all I could understand. His presence was closer to me, his breathing in my ear, and more of my view was covered by the moving thing that was my Edward. I continued to giggle as I reached up to where I knew his face would be.

I brought his face down to mine and kissed his lips soundly, thoroughly, before letting him go and smiling like a fool at him. He laughed loudly, joyously, and stroked my cheek, and I moved my eyes to watch his hand move so near my vision. It was pretty magical.

Then I moved my hands, which still held his cheeks, and began to guide them over the basic features of his face. I wanted to understand what my angel looked like. I _needed_ to know who the man I loved was in the way that most already did.

I ran my fingers along the outside of his face, trying to understand where it all ended. Then I stroked his cheeks. I followed my fingers over his nose, and then brushed my thumbs across his eyelids. His eyes changed. I didn't understand the difference really, in sight, but I knew that he was opening and closing them. I touched his eyebrows and forehead, and smiled when I felt across his crooked equivalent. I stroked across his cheeks again, and noticed the moisture against my skin.

"You're confusing me," I laughed. "You smile like you're happy, and yet you have tears falling down your face." I moved my face toward his in order to kiss his lips, my aim slightly off. I landed it on the very corner of his mouth, more of it on his cheek. He laughed again.

"Oh, my love, I'm so happy." And he kissed me again, not missing my lips at all.

~*~

I struggled. Edward got frustrated. Esme was amazingly patient, bless her soul. Carlisle, when he was home, was a medical saint.

The very basics I learned pretty quickly. I'd always been a fast learner, but everything beyond that was a fight for me.

Most days I didn't even want to try. It was tiring and overwhelming and I just wanted to shut my eyes and pretend everything was back to what it used be.

This new world was scary and I was ill-equipped to deal with it.

But life continued on and I tried my hardest to keep up.

Dad went back to Sue, heading to Seattle instead of fishing on weekends to see Em and Rose and little Bailey.

And I remained in Chicago, looking at pictures of my brother, his wife, and their little girl, trying to really figure them out without being able to associate everything by touch.

It was easier to figure out what something I was seeing was if I could touch it, which was why Esme did most of our lessons from magazines, pictures, and books. She wanted me to know it by the image, and that was what was most difficult.

Colors were more amazing than I'd ever thought they'd be. There were so many, some just subtly different from others. I tried to equate every color to a various tone or sound. If the color was lighter, the tone was higher pitched or a sweeter sound. If the color was darker, it was a lower sound, something deep. In my head, it helped me tell the difference if I really had to, but a lot of times I just had to remind myself that somethings were only red like a fire truck, and some things were only blue like the sky.

My favorite place of all was the garden. I could spend all day admiring the nature surrounding me. It was precious and I understood why Esme spent so much time tending her small rose bushes and her daisies. My favorite were the freesia, because Edward had once mentioned that the delicate flowers and I shared a sweet perfume, something which he found quite attractive. And so those colorful flowers were my favorite.

Edward pushed me really hard when I didn't feel like I could keep trying, and sometimes that would end in a fight. I would sleep in Alice's old room and by morning he would be curled up behind me and apologizing for pushing me, and I would cry in his arms and apologize for giving up too early. And eventually, he'd kiss me with all the love in the world and none of the passion we used to have and then he'd go back to sleep with me in his arms and I'd stay awake, examining his face.

Because if nothing else was true in this world, one thing was for certain: Edward was beautiful.

~*~

"I can't!" I exclaimed, tossing the brightly-colored children's book across the room, watching with a strange sense of satisfaction as it hit the wall and fluttered to the ground.

Edward looked up from his piano playing and sighed when he saw how annoyed I was.

"Baby, it's not going happen quickly. You need to just relax."

I pouted. "I've been trying for over a month and a half now, though. And it's just not coming to me!"

He snuggled up next to me on the couch, abandoning his big black piece of heaven.

"We already knew this was going to be hard, baby. Just take it one day at a time."

I sighed. "I know, but it's just even harder than I thought it'd be." I sounded so whiney and pathetic. And I hated it. He kissed my forehead and told me he loved me. I promised I loved him in return, and he returned to his piano, leaving me with my growing frustration and missing the man who'd made love to me many months ago in this very room on the instrument he was toying with so wonderfully.

I frowned, walking over to pick up my book again and sitting back down to read.

~*~

I walked back in the front door of the seemingly empty house. I'd just had another appointment with Dr. Fuller and Esme had dropped me off. She had a few errands to run, and Edward was supposedly somewhere. But the house just sounded dead.

I was feeling kind of hot, so I went out to the back to the huge ass pool the Cullens had and sat down on the side. I hadn't gone swimming at all yet, though I'd sit on the edge when Edward would swim laps, and he'd pulled me into the shallow end fully clothed more than once.

I watched as the crystal blue water rippled as I spun my calves around. It was still fascinating to watch. The sun was warm on my exposed skin, so I cupped some of the water in my hands and let it drip down on my skin, cooling it. The sunlight reflected off the water's surface and white flashes pained my eyes just a bit every so often as I observed its exquisiteness.

I must not have been paying very close attention then, because I nearly jumped into the appealing water when arms wrapped around me.

"God, Edward!" I gasped, settling a hand over my racing heart. "You scared the hell out of me."

I smacked one of his hands, turning to glare at his glorious face.

He laughed as he apologized, most definitely _not _sorry.

I pouted and stood from my spot, walking back into the house and toward the room we'd been sharing most nights. He called after me, but I kept walking and then fell down onto the bed.

"Bella," he pleaded once he entered, crawling over my body. He looked amazing today, wearing simply a tight white t-shirt and khaki-colored shorts. I wound my arms around his neck as he carefully kept his delicious weight off my body.

I frowned.

He stroked my cheek, adoration and concern shining through in his eyes. "Edward, why will you hardly touch me?"

He laughed and stroked my cheek with a bit more pressure than he had before. "I am touching you."

I rolled my eyes, one of my new favorite things. "Yes, yes, we all know you can pet my face like a cat, so sweet and lovingly, Edward. That is _not_ what I'm talking about."

God, I was whiney again. But it'd been two months! Two whole months of lots of Edward and little lovin'.

He nuzzled my neck with his face, but I pushed him off of me, really fucking frustrated.

He was pouting and hurt but...gah!

"Bella..." He drew out my name a bit before trailing off.

"Do I repulse you?" I asked, sincerely curious. "Has something changed? I mean..."

"God! No! No, nothing like that," he hurried to interject.

I stood off the bed. "Then what? Jesus, Edward! I know I may sound whiney and annoying and irritating all the time right now, and that I still do at this very second, but I miss our love making and our hot sex and everything that leads up to it and follows!"

The room was quiet. Very, very quiet, as Edward and I just stared at each other. I had to admit that I was surprised I'd actually said anything at all about it. I ran a hand through my hair, a habit I'd picked up from Edward as of late. His eyes never left mine as we just stood there.

Finally, as he didn't seem to speak, I felt tears burning in my eyes as I turned and walked away from his rejection. I quickly made my way down the various halls and toward the front hall of the house. I paused, not knowing where to go and having trouble seeing.

I lifted my new glasses off of my face and swiped furiously at my tears. It wasn't long after my surgery that I'd realized I'd once again found security in the glasses which covered my eyes. They may not have hid me from the world like my old ones had, but I was so much more comfortable with the familiar weight of the frames resting on my nose and ears. I liked familiar things. Especially when I was surrounded by such a strange, new, scary world.

Soon, Edward was following me once again. I was always running from him now. This shit had to stop. I turned to face him. I could accept whatever he said. If he wanted me to, I would go back to Forks, stay with Dad and Sue. Dad said he missed me and couldn't wait to see me again. I wondered how he'd feel if I moved back in and he could see me everyday.

And then Edward was in front of me, on one knee and looking up at me with pleading eyes.

He grabbed my hands and pulled me closer, kissing the backs of each and then massaging them with his thumbs.

"Isabella Marie Swan, love of my life, I asked you once before and you yawned adorably in my face and answered, 'Okay.' I'm going to ask you again now, and I sincerely hope that your answer will be the same, even if you aren't high up on pain medication anymore." He chuckled nervously and reached down into his pocket for something. I gasped when I saw the dark blue velvet box in his hand. "Bella, my beautiful, beautiful girlfriend, will you please do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

He opened the box and revealed a diamond ring to me. Tears began to slip down my eyes once again as I mutely nodded my acceptance of his proposal. He squeezed the hand he still held.

"Is that a yes?"

"That's a yes," I croaked.

He grinned like I'd never seen him do before and took the ring out of its box. He slipped the cool metal onto my left ring finger and then jumped up from the marble floor, pulling me into his arms.

His lips devoured mine as he muttered his devotion and love repeatedly and I swore my heart and soul were his for eternity. Soon, we found ourselves up in his room, _our _room, and I took my time to slowly examine the entirety his body with my eyes for the first time before we finally made love and I watched his face as he came inside me.

And once again, I was reminded of just how beautiful he was.


	43. The Epilogue

_a/n: So, here it is. The epilogue. Huh. Not much for me to say now, I guess. It's depressing to have a story finished. I have two more chapter which I will probably which would have been the alternative ending I'd considered using. But, yea...that's it._

_I'd meant to post this last weekend, but I've been in Florida since last Friday and had expected to have more than the half hour after school before my friend and I went to the airport. So, I'm giving it to you now. Sorry. It was a fun Spring Break though. _

_Quickly, I want to address a question most of you asked: What's with Edward not wanting to have sex? Okay, well, keep in mind that Edward and Bella are fighting a lot because she's frustrated with her slow-going progress and he's frustrated with her giving up. Now, I know what you're all thinking. Make up sex, right? Well, emotions are running high and everything is really difficult and confusing, do you honestly think that Edward's going to let sex make it all that more confusing?? And he wants to remind Bella that they're together because he loves her, so he's trying to be the sweet, loving, supportive boyfriend, not the horny teenager. Anyway, there's your explanation for that. :)_

_Okay, so finally, here's the epilogue. Thanks again!!!_

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder: The Epilogue

**Edward's POV**

Bella and I transferred to Northwestern University, leaving Seattle behind. I started right after that summer, while Bella waited until the next year to join me, making her a sophomore while I was a junior.

After a rough beginning, Bella adjusted to sighted life pretty well. She continued to struggle at times her first year back at school, but soon her reading and writing grew less difficult and she was mostly working in time with all of the others.

We decided on a long engagement, one which lasted two years. It was a small family affair, just her father, Sue, my parents, my grandparents, our siblings, and their significant others. Laurent designed a beautiful white gown for her and we got married in the back yard of the 'Cullen Mansion,' as Bella had dubbed my parents' home, on the second anniversary of the day she regained her sight. We found a small but comfortable apartment near campus once we got married, and we thoroughly enjoyed having a place of our own. Amabel returned to us after we married as well, and she was happy to have her mommy back.

Alice and Jasper married after they graduated from their schools, a huge ordeal that everyone my parents associated with attended. Alice was jubilant, and as a result, so was Jasper. My twin made a beautiful bride. Bella made a beautiful Maiden of Honor.

Bailey was brought to visit a few times over the years, and she was the most devious little girl, yet she looked like the most innocent little angel. It was frightening to realize just how evil that adorable child was.

Emmett graduated with a degree in architecture and worked in a firm in Seattle. Rosalie stopped attending school to be a full-time, stay at home mom.

Following my graduation, I took up a lower level job at a small record label located in Chicago where I had interned my senior year. I was slowly working my way up while I tried to continue working on my own music.

My music career took off about three years after I'd finished school. I'd been playing in small bars around the city every night, and, one day, Garrett Mitchell had walked up to me, told me Marcus Sanders wanted me, and, well, the rest, as they say, was history.

My first album was recorded in the following months, and Bella was so happy for me. She knew that this had been what I'd always wanted. She'd been working at a small PR firm since she'd graduated, and I'd absolutely refused to do anything unless she would cover all my PR business. She left the company she was with and joined on with Hollywood Records, personally handling my entire career without a second thought.

I was a hit from the beginning, and soon I was on tour with big concerts and a huge following of young men and women. We were so happy, it was insane. Bella had just turned 26 when we received our hugest shock early on in the tour. We were going to have a baby!

I loved my Bella pregnant. She just glowed. And she was always so happy with her pregnancy - although sometimes she had crazy mood swings which always gave me whiplash. But I loved to sing to her big round belly, and Amabel would curl up happily on top when we would cuddle. The best part? Her libido was in overdrive. We couldn't get enough of each other the entire time!

Carly Emmalee Cullen was born in New York City, backstage at my final concert of the tour. She just couldn't have waited another hour so we could make it to the hospital. She was an impatient little thing.

She was born in perfect health, not a problem with her. She had her mommy's nose and face-shape and my eyes and hair. She was perfect.

I loved being a father, and Bella was a natural mother. Carly looked up to Bailey like her cousin was God, and I was so lucky that Bailey was such a sweetheart when Carly was watching, because I didn't want my precious little girl to grow up to be one of the Devil's minions.

Emmett and Rose had trouble getting pregnant again, but finally, after a few trials of IVF, Charlotte Vanessa Swan graced us with her angelic presence, a stark contrast to her big sister.

Did I forget to mention that Bella was, of course, the favorite aunt?

Charlie and Sue married just before we found out our second baby was on the way and just after Alice and Jasper were blessed by Calvin Jonathan Whitlock. They quickly decided that one child was enough, but Calvin wasn't even a year old when they found out Alice was pregnant with another little boy. She was happier than ever at the unexpected addition.

Brian Masen Cullen was born a little early, but he was fully developed, absolutely adored by his big sister, and completely spoiled by all of his grandparents. Bella and I were both thirty by the time he came around.

We formed a happy little family, and while sometimes the paparazzi made life a little difficult for us, we grew together joyfully in Evanston, Illinois, with a Cullen Mansion of our own. Hollywood Records begged us to live in LA, but we'd refused to leave the Chicago area. We were happy there, and that was that.

Renee never did come around. Five years after Bella last spoke to her, Renee died of a drug overdose. Apparently, once Bella had left for college, Renee had picked up the horrible habit, and in the following months it had somehow gotten out of control. Bella always said it made sense, the odd behavior that her mother had developed once her habit became so powerful and her addiction took over. Renee had left the company to Rosalie, and so they had moved their family out to LA to take over, while Bella happily continued to cover my publicity, not at all upset that Renee had left her nothing but the trust fund which had been put in her name long ago.

I recorded multiple albums throughout my career, enjoying what I did. I toured, of course, but soon my appearances were fewer and farther between as the kids got older and couldn't travel any longer due to school and other activities.

I watched my kids grow up to be more and more amazing. They were just...wonderful people, and I had to wonder on a daily basis how it was that I ended up so lucky.

As for Amabel, when Brian and Carly were still just kids, we lost her in a tragic mishap with our neighbor's BMW. Her funeral was big and overdone and not nearly good enough for the wonderful kitten who'd loved us so much over the years. Losing Bel was the equivalent of losing one of our children, utterly devastating. And she was irreplaceable.

Today, we had said goodbye to Carly as we sent her off to UCLA to begin her own years at school. She was going to be studying pre-med, and I didn't believe Carlisle could be any happier than he already was. They shared this incomparably special bond that I couldn't even begin to understand. It had started with reading silly children's books in his study, and somehow it became heated discussions about what she was reading in his medical journals by the time she was a young teenager.

We'd taken the jet to get her there and set her up, but Brian had stayed home with my parents. He'd been unable to get away because he couldn't miss his football preseason. Now, as we walked into the house, I could already feel my little girl's vivacious presence missing. I saw Bella was crying, so I wrapped my arms around her and led her into the living room.

And on the couch was my _wonderful _son, wrapped around his long-time girlfriend, Lily Mitchell, Garrett's daughter, and neither of them were wearing more than their undergarments.

"Football practice, huh?" I asked mockingly. Bella and I left a blushing boy and his frightened and embarrassed girlfriend to dress themselves, laughing all the way. We knew there would be no stopping our children from having sex if that was what they desired. It was more important to us that they completed such actions in a safe place, instead of sneaking out and around at strange hours to strange places. It was an attitude my parents had taken with my sister and me, and I felt it had worked quite well.

Before Brian and Lily could catch up with us, I pulled Bella around to face me and then pushed her into the wall. I kissed her lips with the hunger which had never dissipated, even after all of these years, and molded my body to hers. I wanted to forget everything I had just seen, no matter how okay I was with it, and I was sure Bella wasn't too fond of the image either.

"Some things...no one should...ever...have to see," I told her between kisses.

She giggled and kissed me back.

"Gross!"

I laughed and looked at my son. He had his hand in Lily's, their fingers threaded together. Neither was even 16 yet, but they were soulmates. I smiled as I linked my hand with Bella's, hoping silently in my mind that Carly would someday be able to find the same, all encompassing love that I'd found with my wife and Brian had found with his girlfriend.

Because that sort of love is the truest beauty in the world, and it is the sort of beautiful even an 18 year old, shy, blind girl from Forks, Washington could experience to its fullest extent.


	44. Alternate Ending Part I: Temporary

_so, as I mentioned, I'd originally been caught between two different endings to this story. I ultimately decided that I wanted a true HEA to finish the story, but a few of you asked me to write out the other possible ending. So, imagine that this comes just after that cliffie following Bella's surgery, and that the epilogue and the chapter before it never happened. A lot of it is the same, until about half way through, but this is the way I chose to do it._

**Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder: Alternate Ending Part I**

Temporary

**Bella's POV**

I didn't know what I was seeing, but that didn't matter because I was _really seeing_.

Everything was so quiet. No one did anything but breathe as I really looked around for the first time ever. My eyes bounced from one area to another, trying to follow certain sounds like I often had done in the past years. I couldn't have told you what was there - I had absolutely no idea - but I liked these things, whatever they were.

Every so often, I noticed the blackness that I was accustomed to, as it was familiar, and that's when I really began to focus on how different everything was. I could tell you what wasn't black, but that was it.

After a while, I tried to really focus on the things I could maybe know for sure were mine. I did my best to lock my gaze where I knew my hands were curled in my lap. I still didn't know what I was looking at, but I tried my hardest to figure out what they were.

I lifted my hands, and noticed a difference in what I was seeing.

_Is that what things looked like when they move? Oh my god! Are those my hands? Is that what they look like?!_

I moved my right hand, curling it into a fist, and watched in fascination as what I was seeing changed again. I continued to move my right hand, turning it in various ways and wiggling my fingers. I did the same with my left, testing out everything I saw.

I couldn't contain the insane, overwhelming excitement that filled me as I realized I was seeing my hands. My hands! I was _seeing_ my hands!

I squealed in delight, a beautiful sound that bounced off the walls and momentarily distracted me.

"I can see," I whispered, still looking at my lap as my smile grew across my face. "I can see! _Oh my god! I can actually fucking SEE_!" I laughed happily, and heard Edward's own relieved chuckle as whatever tension had overcome the room fell away. My vision changed as I felt Edward's hand wrap around my own. "Oooooo," I hummed, gripping onto his hand and turning it palm up.

This was all so...so incredible!

I ignored everything around me as I moved my right hand all around his, tracing the various planes and lines I knew only by touch. It was just...wow.

I was sure my family all found my strange behavior amusing, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

I tried to equate different things I already knew about his hand and mine, hoping it'd help me understand more about what I was seeing, but I wasn't really doing an better than knowing that what I saw was his talented hand wrapped around mine.

I giggled as I turned toward my Edward and tugged on his hand. I didn't know what part of what I saw was him, but that didn't matter. I was quick to understand that the thing moving in my line of vision was him, but that was all I could understand. His presence was closer to me, his breathing in my ear, and more of my view was covered by the moving thing that was my Edward. I continued to giggle as I reached up to where I knew his face would be.

I brought his face down to mine and kissed his lips soundly, thoroughly, before letting him go and smiling like a fool at him. He laughed loudly, joyously, and stroked my cheek, and I moved my eyes to watch his hand move so near my vision. It was pretty magical.

Then I moved my hands, which still held his cheeks, and began to guide them over the basic features of his face. I wanted to understand what my angel looked like. I _needed_ to know who the man I loved was in the way that most already did.

I ran my fingers along the outside of his face, trying to understand where it all ended. Then I stroked his cheeks. I followed my fingers over his nose, and then brushed my thumbs across his eyelids. His eyes changed. I didn't understand the difference really, in sight, but I knew that he was opening and closing them. I touched his eyebrows and forehead, and smiled when I felt across his crooked equivalent. I stroked across his cheeks again, and noticed the moisture against my skin.

"You're confusing me," I laughed. "You smile like you're happy, and yet you have tears falling down your face." I moved my face toward his in order to kiss his lips, my aim slightly off. I landed it on the very corner of his mouth, more of it on his cheek. He laughed again.

"Oh, my love, I'm so happy." And he kissed me again, not missing my lips at all.

~*~

I struggled. Edward got frustrated. Esme was amazingly patient, bless her soul. Carlisle, when he was home, was a medical saint.

The very basics I learned pretty quickly. I'd always been a fast learner, but everything beyond that was a fight for me.

Most days I didn't even want to try. It was tiring and overwhelming and I just wanted to shut my eyes and pretend everything was back to what it used be.

This new world was scary and I was ill-equipped to deal with it.

But life continued on and I tried my hardest to keep up.

Dad went back to Sue, heading to Seattle instead of fishing on weekends to see Em and Rose and little Bailey.

And I remained in Chicago, looking at pictures of my brother, his wife, and their little girl, trying to really figure them out without being able to associate everything by touch.

It was easier to figure out what something I was seeing was if I could touch it, which was why Esme did most of our lessons from magazines, pictures, and books. She wanted me to know it by the image, and that was what was most difficult.

Colors were more amazing than I'd ever thought they'd be. There were so many, some just subtly different from others. I tried to equate every color to a various tone or sound. If the color was lighter, the tone was higher pitched or a sweeter sound. If the color was darker, it was a lower sound, something deep. In my head, it helped me tell the difference if I really had to, but a lot of times I just had to remind myself that somethings were only red like a fire truck, and some things were only blue like the sky.

Edward pushed me really hard when I didn't feel like I could keep trying, and sometimes that would end in a fight. I would sleep in Alice's old room and by morning he would be curled up behind me and apologizing for pushing me, and I would cry in his arms and apologize for giving up too early. And eventually, he'd kiss me with all the love in the world and none of the passion we used to have and then he'd go back to sleep with me in his arms and I'd stay awake, examining his face.

Because if nothing else was true in this world, one thing was for certain: Edward was beautiful.

~*~

Things went well for a while, until black began to tinge the edges of my vision. It was gradual, and I didn't say anything at first, but one evening it slipped out and Edward was furious with me for not mentioning it sooner.

As my sight slowly began to recede and darkness started to descend, fights became a constant between us.

The hope I'd held onto so desperately and the happiness I'd found despite the hardships began to slip away in the face of my deepest fear.

The surgery had not been a permanent success.

Soon, Alice's old room became mine every night, and it was rare that I would wake with Edward's warm body wrapped around mine.

And every morning I awoke, I noticed that my line of sight had narrowed just the slightest bit more.

My lessons with Esme stopped, and I tried to take in as much as possible, because I knew it wouldn't be much longer before I would be completely shrouded in my old friend: darkness.

There were some nights where it seemed Edward and I couldn't stand to face each other, and it just got worse and worse as more of my sight was lost.

Carlisle and Dr. Fuller explained to me that while the surgery had in fact corrected the deformities in my eyes, it had also resulted in an unfortunate build up of scar tissue. The chances of still maintaining my sight by removing the scar tissue were so low, and the small pro was heavily outweighed by the con, being that the surgery was just too dangerous. Too many things could go wrong. In the end, it was decided that it wouldn't be worth the risk.

Edward, who had been too pissed off with me to come to that appointment, was even more angry that I had made such a pivotal decision without him.

"You should have called me!" he shouted.

I laughed, but there was no humor. I could barely make out his face now, and most of my vision had blackened considerably. "What good what that do? The same decision would have been made. And, beside that, you should have come with me!"

"Oh, don't put all this on me! Everything was great before you had this stupid surgery! I didn't have any say in that either!"

I was indignant. "It's my goddamn body!"

"And this is my goddamn house you're living in! My goddamn mother who's teaching you! My goddamn father who's always worrying over you! And it's my GODDAMN LIFE that you're screwing with here!"

Rage filled my worn out body, and I refused to let the tears, which now burned in my eyes, to fall. "Fine. If that's the way you feel, I guess I'll go back to _my_ family and_ my_ life, and stop fucking with _yours_."

"Good. Fine. Go. Leave. Don't let the door hit you on your way out."

One of the last things I ever saw was the anger in Edward's eyes in that moment as my heart irreparably shattered. The last of my sight left me that night, as I packed up my things and left.


	45. Alternate Ending Part II: Eight Years

_so, as I mentioned, I'd originally been caught between two different endings to this story. I ultimately decided that I wanted a true HEA to finish the story, but a few of you asked me to write out the other possible ending. So, imagine that this comes just after that cliffie following Bella's surgery, and that the epilogue and the chapter before it never happened. A lot of it is the same, until about half way through, but this is the way I chose to do it._

_**Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder: Alternate Ending Part II**_

**_Eight Years to Return_**

**Edward's POV**

Eight years ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life.

I let the only woman I had ever loved, the only woman I would ever love, walk out of my life because we were victims of a painful circumstance over which we had no control.

She had left because I'd told her to, and I'd never thought she would have actually been gone. But I awoke the next morning to find that she had left in the middle of the night, as had been my request, and would not be returning.

My heart was broken and whatever anger I had harbored was gone.

When I returned to school that year at U-Dub, she was no longer enrolled. Emmett and Rose were both still attending class, though only part-time, and every time I tried to ask them about Bella, I was snubbed.

Bella had managed to cut herself out of my life with ease. Her cell phone had been disconnected, her location was unknown to me, and her family had successfully shunned me. Even Charlie, who had less than half a year prior given me the blessing to marry his daughter, refused to tell me where she had gone to.

And so I'd found myself existing in this lonely world, going through the motions but never really living.

I didn't enjoy my music anymore, there just was no more inspiration and every time I played, the pain intensified. I changed my major, switching instead to biology, and within six years I'd graduated with my medical degree from one of the best medical schools in the country. Mom and Dad stood proudly as I received my degrees, and I tried to smile for them but I was sure I failed, left to wallow in my misery in the wake of my mistakes.

There were a lot of "what if" scenarios that I ran through my head on a nightly basis, and as I went into my internship and the start of my residency as a surgeon, I found myself spending every free moment contemplating what would have happened to us if I had thought more about how Bella was handling the situation, and less about my own disappointment with the results of the procedure.

She'd tried so hard and hoped so much, and we'd believed it'd been perfectly successful, but the physical effects had been temporary, and the emotional ramifications had been everlasting. I'd reacted poorly, and if only I'd been a bit more sympathetic to the one who was suffering the most, everything would be different.

What I wouldn't give for a time machine, just to allow myself one chance at turning back time and redoing it all.

I sighed, shaking my head as I walked home from the hospital. I had a small apartment, not even quite as large as the one I'd had in college. It had a bed, a desk, and a shower, and that was all I needed now. My feeble existence would be survivable, so long as I could fulfill my basic needs.

I'd been working a long shift, all day yesterday and through to this morning, and somehow I ended up stuck with rounds until about lunch time. My stomach growled as the misty rain kept me cool in the summer warmth.

I was nearly to my apartment when I spotted the beautiful brunette, her hand on the harness of a handsome dog which cautiously led her down the busy streets of Seattle. I was stunned, because I was so sure she couldn't _possibly_ be here, right in front of me, not twenty feet away. But the pull in my heart told me that it was her, and as I looked at her, I saw she was my beautiful Bella.

She was quite possibly more gorgeous than when we had first met, and my heart beat rapidly in my chest as I realized it was truly her. Somehow, my feet moved, and I got to her, standing in her path. The dog tried to lead her around but I carefully grabbed her arm, and murmured her name, "Bella."

The electrical hum buzzed loudly and furiously at the contact, and she gasped, stopping. The dog looked up at me curiously, ready to protect the amazing woman whose arm I held like a lifeline.

"Edward?" she asked softly, and her voice held the pain of eight years in its lower, hushed tone.

"Hi," I whispered.

"Hi," she returned.

She turned so her body faced mine fully, and we just stood there rater awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

All I knew was that I needed her to return to my life in some capacity. I could not live another without her.

"Can we start over?" I blurted suddenly, as a soft smile ghosted across her lips.

"I'd like that." There was no hesitance when she answered, and sweet relief overcame me.

My stomach growled loudly though, and Bella giggled, a sweet sound that still held the pain of all the years that had passed.

I could feel myself blushing in embarrassment as I thought about the lunch I hadn't yet eaten and the breakfast I'd for some reason forgotten to consume this morning.

"There's this great restaurant I know, called _Gino's_. If you haven't eaten yet, I'd love to take you there for a bite to eat. Have you heard of the place?"

She smiled shyly at me. "I think I may have been there once before. Their mushroom ravioli is amazing."


	46. Let's Wait for Sunset

A/n: so, I meant to post this a while ago, but I just sort of forgot about it. Anyway, this was a sort of character word sketch/poem thing that I wrote for my English class this year, using my Bella character from this story. This is, basically, a view of Bella's morning from when she first wakes up, through going to her first class in the morning. You don't see much of her actions at all, if that, but it's a little bit of her thoughts and a little bit of just observations, all taking place prior to meeting Alice, Edward, and Jasper. This is even before the story actually begins, if you really want to be more specific, while still being entirely vague. Anyway, you can go on ahead and read that, or you can read my ramblings about a few more things, like pieces I'm working on. I'm on a break from posting at the moment, since I'm dead tired. Today, as in June 25th, was my last day of school. So summer vacation just began, and I'm going to probably spend a bit of time writing, though I may not even begin posting for a while.

The first thing I'm working on is the Twilight characters set into NCIS roles and situations. I'm loving the idea, especially since I am irrevocably and completely in love with NCIS. Tony Dinozzo and Special Agent Gibbs are my lovers, I'm not lying.

Next thing I'm working on is another BxE story in which they grow up BFFs, but Bella is in love with Edward. Of course, Edward isn't in love with her, and instead falls for another girl during their senior year. Crushed, Bella leaves for college early, and completely extricating her from not only Edward's life, but those of the rest of the gang. Years later, Bella owns a great number of successful restaurants and opens one in Seattle, where a surprise run-in with Carlisle and Esme bring the two back together in an epic love story. Of course, danger does lurk just around the corner...

And, of course, there are a few others. What if Bella had always lived in Forks/La Push? What if her mom had actually been from La Push? Werewolf Bella imprints on Vampire Edward, whose already been mated to her from the first time he laid eyes on her. But Imprinting can be a little more severe and a lot more different than Stephenie Meyer let on...

Or, what if Bella never became friends with Jacob in NM? What if Edward never returned? What if Bella was dying, slowly, of a very human disease? What if Marcus needed a wife, one who didn't want him because he never wanted her? What if Bella's shield was only a small part of her true power? What if all of these 'what if's came together in one intense story?

I may, or may not, be writing a totally cracked up story about getting married in Vegas, a very sexy Dr. Masen and MILF Bella, that is...

Anyway, just a little preview of what may or may not be to come. Anyone have a preference? No? Yes? Let me know if you like any of these. AND DOES ANY ONE HAVE ANY GOOD READING RECOMMENDATIONS FOR ME? okay, I'm done now. Read on.

xoxoJordiBrookexoxo

Darkness fades to darkness.  
I see black on black on black.  
Listen to the music,  
I find only beauty.

I can see no light shining,  
But I can feel its warmth on my skin.  
I know it is there,  
But it hides from me.

They ask, "Do you need help?"  
They think, "Of course she does."  
I know I don't,  
I am capable of much more.

I wonder, though, am I?  
There are those days  
When I awaken and wonder  
Should it define me, really?

I can see no light shining,  
But I can feel its warmth on my skin.  
Darkness may be my only friend,  
But it is a constant company.

My brother and his girl  
They walk two steps behind.  
And I know I hold them back,  
Because I need to be watched.

I count my days by sunsets,  
And cold nights make me an equal.  
Encompassing darkness is my friend,  
A sweet constant in solitude.

I walk slow steps.  
Pedestrians give me room to walk.  
A familiar path,  
I slowly follow in lonely faith.

I open heavy doors and enter.  
Chatter of exams floods my ears.  
Reverently, I glide,  
Smooth bumps beneath my fingers.

I can see no light shining,  
But I hear the steady buzzing.  
The music begins to play,  
and I find only beauty.

They talk,  
Yet they understand me little.  
I do not try to explain for it'd be,  
The blind leading the blind.

It is simple, really.  
But they make it difficult.  
Fate was Cratus,  
And I was Prometheus.

I can see no light shining,  
But I can feel its warmth on my skin.  
As darkness fades to darkness,  
Come, my friend, let's wait for sunset.


	47. New Story: El Angel de Las Tinieblas

_A/n:_

_Hey there! I guess it's been a really long time, but I've finally managed to get my head together well enough to post a new story._

_El Angel de Las Tinieblas_

_Summary: __Edward can't help but follow las tradiciones of his family. Despite his darkness, she still considers him her angel. Amor, pistolas, y los males will reign supreme. Just hope you're on the right side of the gun in this family. Cannon AH Mob/Spanish-ward_

_Something very different, I think from what I've written before, so I hope you all will go and check it out and let me know what you think!_

_Jordi Brooke_


End file.
